Feb 15, Number 6- Third trimester is ON!

[BanglesSpangles]

Helloo!
Here we are, new thread- we whizzed through the end of the last one!- Hope everyone finds their way here

Frenetic how about, aswell asthe day down there, you invite your mom to visit you and dp does a second little Christmas meal for you all whilst you can relax at home trying to get through the SPD - just wondering if your moms feeling lonely and that might dissipate it a bit.

For our xmas: thankfully we don't have to see most of DH's family - as bad as it sounds, they are pure evil. We will have to go see his nan and one aunt though but they're 3hrs away, so will probably do it soon - I'm dreading it for what its going to do to my pelvis. His brother and SIL are hopefully coming to us the weekend before Xmas or we'll see them when we see my parents weekend after Xmas (they all live 1.25hrs away and DH is working all of Xmas week barr the day itself, which we have at home the 3 of us). Will probably stay 1 night at mom and dads to break the journey up. If DH wasn't working boxing day (or if I could still manage to drive and could have took me and DS) we'd have gone to my parents Xmas night, to wake up there boxing day.

Frenetic I really feel for you. The last thing you need right now is extra stress. Hope you manage to get things sorted with ur mum. Must be really hard for you both without ur dad at this time of year.

I don't envy any of you having problems over Christmas arrangements. Christmas is very simple for me no change in what we have done the last 2 years. Christmas eve go to visit my grandparents Graves along with my born sleeping little boy. Christmas morning Wake up at home open presents, venture to the in laws (next door) in our pj's , breakfast and more present opening there. Back home get dressed and go for Christmas dinner at a local restaurant with the in-laws (mum, dad, grandparents, 2 brothers in law uncle his gf and 2 cousins) then back to theirs till DD falls asleep then back home. Boxing day at my mums 2 hours away with the whole of my tribe (I'm one of 16) and there little ones (32 nieces and nephews [shoc) with my family being so big, we all do our own Christmas days and my mum normally goes to one of my oldest sisters for Christmas day and we all meet at hers on boxing day as we don't all live in the same city it's just easier.

Don't know how you all cope with the stress of it.

Do you ever have your in-laws and your family all together?

Last time I did was when I got married my side was HUGE

Hi Frenetic. I'm travelling home to my parents for Xmas. Getting the train though cause my mum is worried about the long drive on my own, plus unreliable Northern weather. OH will be at his in Croyden. So in a way that's how wevery done it for the past few years. I'm then travelling back to spend new year's at his parents. As for next year, we will probably stay just the three of us, unless I can persuade him to come to my mum's, which is what I'd like to do.

Shit shit shit I'm in hospital :-( woke up this morning with some bleeding and small clots. Went straight into hospital and they have been monitoring me ever since. Apparently I'm contracting though I can't feel them, just see them on the trace. I've had my 1st steroid injection and also drugs to stop/slow the contractions. Cervix is v short and a fraction open. Upsettingly after I went to the loo the nurse took a while to get baby's heartbeat monitor back on and picked up mine. The Drs are now panicked and think the baby dropped rather than me. Soooo total bed rest (can't even go to the loo now; bedpan only ) and no food or drink whilst they monitor. I'm STARVING!
Feeling very unprepared right now. Waiting to speak to neonatology to talk through what to expect with them. I have no idea what to ask them about. Baby is very small apparently but has been nicely kicking and moving around which is good news. Fingers crossed it sticks in there for a good while longer.

Scummy - best wishes, hope LO stays put a bit longer. Thinking of you both.

Scummy, so sorry you're going through this, thinking of you. xx

RE Christmas plans, I suggested to my Mum she comes up here for a couple of days and after a couple of hours of what I can only call 'sulking', she seemed to accept it. Had to gently remind her that we've got to make compromises, Xmas is never going to be the same without Dad, but it's going to be extra different next year when our little one comes along.

Definitely where the anger part of grief comes in... I miss my Dad so very much, but there are these awful moments where I feel irrationally angry that he passed away so close to a holiday that has always been dear to the family. I get over it quickly, of course. It's just pants, to be honest. Losing a parent is pretty crappy.

We are going north on Boxing Day and staying for 6 days. Last year she had a hissy cos we were planning on going up the 21st then coming back for Boxing Day. We ended up staying over a week cos my aunt and uncle had their 40th wedding anniversary party on the 29th and OH's mum generously said we may as well stay up. But my mom still goes on about how we've had more Xmas's here - aagh!

I repeatedly invite my mom to come visit so that we don't always have to drive 200 miles north. She's retired so not like she has to book off work or anything. But she doesn't. Says she can't leave my sister who admittedly has mental health problems but she's not that bad all the time. As for my sister she's been down 3 times in 10 years, one of those was our dad's funeral, another was my recent wedding :-/

Frenetic it really is a crap time of year to have lost someone. 6 years ago just before Christmas we lost OH's Grandpa Joe. MIL's birthday is 29th Dec. And that year she was 60. Needless to say she didn't feel like celebrating. She's slowly embracing Christmas again, it helps that our niece (and MIL's only grandchild so far) is now 5 and can be utterly spoilt etc.. but it will always also be a time of remembering Grandpa Joe. He loved Christmas and had more singing dancing cuddly toys than most toy shops / garden centres have! Smiling just remembering.

Hope youre ok, scummy- any idea how long youll be in for?

Ate too much dinner again and struggling to breathe AGAIN- its my own fault for trying to finish off my mash. Ive instructed OH to wrestle the plate off of me if he sees me trying to go back to finish off my own left overs.

Depressingly it wasnt even a big dinner- the babys definitely taking up all the available space at the moment!

Yeah, it was a really awful time. It was just three months after DH and I got married, and the day before he was due home from hospital having just been given the all-clear from recent chemo (it was an unexpected stroke that killed him). My birthday is also the 29th Dec (pants time for a b'day!), and it's felt strange the last couple of years.

My Mum doesn't have any issue with travel, it's only about a 90min drive, but she doesn't like asking the neighbours to feed her cats, even though they've expressed many times that they are happy to do so. I think it's just the change that she's having trouble with. Christmases were always a very small, close-knit family thing for us, with my Dad the life and soul at the heart of everything - he was a very lively welshman who loved a bit of festive fun! As my son grows, I really want him to feel the same joy that I did at Christmas around family, it just may take a while for us all to get to that point.

scummy I was so long typing away my monster post - interrupted by a phone call too - that I've just seen your post. Fingers crossed and praying little scummy hangs tight a while longer, xx

I'm sure your son will love Christmas frenetic, and may also help your mum remember the good bits about the festive period. And it's definitely OK to be mad at the one who's gone, I still rant at my dad occasionally - he's been gone 3.5 years. My mom always did say I got my temper from him so it's just the same as when he was around ;-D

Scummy we're the same EDD I think? So that'll make you 31 weeks today? Baby is small, but you're both in the best place right now getting lots of care, and at 31 weeks baby has a very good chance even if it doesn't stay put, but I'm sure it will, the NHS is awesome. My little bean wouldn't be cooking still if not for the NHS.

Big hug and keep strong.

scummy, I hope everything for you and little one is ok. Just wanted to say I was thinking of you too. x

Sending lots of love for scummy and mini scummy and crossing my fingers for you that they are super comfy and want to stay put a bit longer!

Mini scummy - stay put for longer...thinking of you both.

Thinking of you scrummy hope everything is ok.

Scummy, been busy all day, just seen this, hope you are getting good care, try not to worry too much and I'm sure things will be fine x

Also, hoping they let you eat soon!

Little S, stay put!

Okay, really stupid question alert...

Maternity pads for bleeding after birth - are there special ones out there, or should I just buy normal period pads with maximum absorbency and size? Im thinking night time pads probably, they are mahoooosive...

Such an ameture

viper last time I was told definitely not normal sanitary pads, as they can mask infection. Also can catch on stitches, if you have them.

They do special maternity ones that are humongous (they are like a brick - like sanitary pads were in the olden days). You usually find them in the baby isle not the pads isle.

• aisle not isle obviously

Shame I'd like to visit Baby Isle

I've been on nct, mothercare and waitrose sites and the only thing they have are nursing pads.
Anyone know where I can find these online? I DO NOT want to send out DP or mil for these, cringe

You can get them in the supermarket, in the baby aisle, where you can also find breast pads etc.

www.waitrose.com/shop/ProductView-10317-10001-21749-Natracare+new+mother+maternity+pads

There you go :)