ellipippamummy, very pleased to see me on the list, nice to feel part of a group, ahhh, am not normally sentimental
jessdibs- I really feel for you, have gone through similar things with dp, but, and it's quite a big BUT, it isn't always the end of the world although it feels like it and despite your worst fears, and the conviction of you friends, he isn't necessarliy HAVING an affair, although he is clearly behaving badly. There are certain friends of mine that I don't discuss it with anymore as the raised eyebrows and loud hmmms make me want to thump them (transferred anger maybe!) when things do sound suspicious but it could be a cry for help/panic/reaching 30 crisis etc that might not be too late for you to sort out. My dp has a problem with lying (always had to lie to overbearing mother) and when things are stressful between us or he feels trapped/backed into a corner, there is nearly always a situation arise where suspicious 'things' happen. In his case, it's usually wishful thinking but occasionally he's texted a girl after a party, chatted too long with some cyber friend with mega innuendos, lied about going somewhere, given someone flowers in the street (honestly, just like the impulse advert for f8cks sake!) swapped numbers, usually I ring/text them, inform them of the situation, politely, then he's angry with me (I know!) and then things get better for a while and so on... But, he does this occasionally, when I, looking back, have been treating him badly, no excuse I know but I really think it's an attention thing and he seems to want to me to find out somehow, bizarre, but I genuinely think he's never really had an affair, and we all flirt with others (well, I do!!, I'm just more subtle, and he's as subtle as a brick, and an amazing dp, father in every other respect. Maybe I'm coming across here as a mug, as I'm sure some friends think I am, but you know whether it is symptomatic, and whether it's worth saving, which is nearly always in the case of children. That's not to say if the truth is that he IS having an affair, you just have to take it, you don't! But he might not be, and then it could be worked through, and things may be ok? I too, have checked the phone in the night etc, and it's horrible, but it happens less and less to us now. Some men are just incredibly immature when it comes to what they see as a terrifying commitment, it might all be ego stroking. These are just my experiences, it might be irrelevant to your situation, but I hope you can bring it all out in the open and work through it, I really do. Good luck ((( )))