December 2014 Thread #7 - third trimester here we come, jingle babies all the way

[Chipandspuds]

Hooray into the third trimester!

Best bit: people being nice to me, not feeling like I need to suck my tummy in!
Worst bit: being sick, worrying, being too tired to be as active as I want to be.
Most looking forward to: cuddles and kisses
Least looking forward to: having to be responsible for a tiny person, worrying about letting them down, people interfering.

So in essence, I worry too much, about everything.

re: coping. We'll keep an eye on each other. x

I am now in Pembrokeshire. Very little signal, pitched tent, three dolphins swam past!

peace good call on the not having to hold stomach in! I've been enjoying that too! :)

And i'm liking the "keeping an eye on each other" bit. These threads have already been a total lifesaver!

And Dolphins!!?.....that's super cool!

I threw up this morning was a sharp reminder of how good I've got it now I'm not throwing up every morning and night! Need to stop whining about feeling uncomfortable.

Also, my 70 year old volunteer won't let me lift anything or help her lift anything. Gah.

Catface a good chair can help with positioning for bf and which could make a real difference. As last time was such a disaster I'm willing to get one to see if it helps. It'll go in the baby's room afterwards for story time. Also, as we have most stuff from last time, I haven't really spent anything yet so the expense isn't really a worry (still going to try through eBay first though, learnt that lesson from last time!)

Best bit of pregnancy: baby kicks and always getting a seat on the tube

Worst bit of pregnancy: being exposed to Rubella whilst having no immunity at 15 weeks and then having to wait through 3 weeks of blood tests to get the all clear

Most looking forward to: first smile

Least looking forward to: intense sleep deprivation

Most worried about: breastfeeding, I so hope it's different to last time

I saw some really lovely rocking chairs in Mothercare but none of them had prices on, which led me to wonder whether they were for "in store use", IYKWIM. I really want an armchair or (ideally) a rocking chair to feed in as my sofa is extremely uncomfortable!

Just asked DH the questions. His answers aren't particularly inspirational (I suspect he was just trying to get away from me to play his new game!)
Best bit of pregnancy : we're having a daughter
Worst bit of pregnancy : seeing you (me) suffering
Most looking forward to: having a daughter
least looking forward to :sleepless nights
Most worried about: her becoming a horrible teenager

Best bit: being pregnant after years of singledom and other challenges me and DP have had to get through.
Worst bit: Apart from normal maternity blahs like nausea and fatigue - worst bit is not being able to cycle since about 16 wks and have to get lifts/buses to work and into town
Most looking forward to: meeting our baby and - long term - being a mum
Least looking forward to: sleepless nights
Most worried about: being a GOOD mother.

First day at school today for ds, then first swimming lesson afterwards! He's going to be exhausted.

Best bit of pregnancy: seeing baby move, knowing that they are growing inside me!
Worst bit of pregnancy: 19 weeks of nausea and vomiting, heartburn, and lack of energy
Most looking forward to: meeting baby, introducing baby to its grandparents etc, seeing dh with baby

Morning all...hope everyone is blooming today, or at least surviving anyway

I'm working at home today after two exhausting days in London. Feeling good after a decent nights sleep for a change but half an hour at my desk and I already have back ache.

I've got growth scan tomorrow and starting to worry about that. Concerned she won't be growing/ the placenta won't be doing its job after some early issues and bleeding. Equally scared that she'll be growing too well and it'll will lead to a premie birth. I have half a womb so at high risk of preterm labour as she runs out of room. I can't win!

Pour, hope ds' first day at school is a success. You're probably more nervous than he is!

Blooming too much I think. I broke the zip on a dress this morning
Hope your scan goes well silver linings and that baby is the right size.
I'm 27 weeks today and exactly 3 months until due date! So does that mean 3rd trimester? Some places seem to think so and others don't!

Hugmonster, my app says that I hit the third trimester on Friday when I will be 26+6 so I'd say you was in the third trimester now. I will be 3 months to go on Saturday

Silver hope your scan goes well tomorrow fingers crossed everything will be fine.

Lots of people have been commenting over the last few days how they can really tell that I'm pregnant now, even though I haven't been wearing any maternity tops, just in my normal pre-pregnancy tops (although they were big sizes).

I'm having a bit of a skive this afternoon. Am off to the drs so need to leave work at 2.15 to get there, although saying that have so much work to get through before Friday that I need to log on when I get home and carry on but at least I will be at home rather than say in my uncomfy chair at work.

Is everyone feeling connected to their baby now? I was reading about this on another thread earlier and I don't feel a connection at all. I don't feel a rush of love or affection for my baby at all. I resent it kicking me; when it does, I have to walk around or curl into a ball to muffle it. You know I've struggled a lot with depression all through my pregnancy, but I don't feel depressed at the moment. Someone please reassure me that I will bond with this baby at some point before the birth? It doesn't sound very romantic but I hate being pregnant and I want the baby out as soon as possible, though of course I want it to be healthy.
I find it really difficult saying these things in real life because I feel so ungrateful - I tried for nine months to get pregnant, so I really should be grateful that it happened for us.
I do wonder whether I need to go out and buy something new for the baby, because being supplied with things, although much much cheaper (and I'm so grateful for the bargains my friend has found us, and the pram I found in the charity shop), I do feel like these things don't belong to my baby, it's almost like they're on loan. Even the cot my sister has offered to buy us as a present; I feel like I'm now obliged to give it back to her when she has a baby.
I've bought bits and pieces of clothing but nothing major. I've knitted a few things but even then I can't connect the thing moving around inside me with this hat or cardigan.
I really thought that when I started feeling a lot of movement I'd be able to bond with the baby, but it's been the opposite. The 12 week scan was brilliant because it confirmed that yes, there is a baby, but the 20 week scan was a bit meh. I didn't have any rush of feeling during or afterwards.
I just feel really numb about it all. If I was reading this from someone else I'd say she was depressed, but really, I know when I'm unwell and this doesn't feel like it. I'm getting on with things and going to work and I'm not crying or feeling suicidal/like I want to self-harm. I feel fine, but I just can't connect with my baby.

I'm sorry to have brought down the thread (again); I just need to say these things "out loud".

Peace I wouldn't say I feel that connected as such, it's all still a bit unreal for me. We also tried for over a year this time round and only got pg through clomiphene from the hospital in the end.

I didn't get the whole 'rush of love' thing with DD until after she was born. During pg, I was mega worried about her and lived in state of low level panic the whole pg. I also hated being pg but the kicks never bothered me, it was always just reassurance that she was ok. Same with this one too but am much less paranoid this time round. This time the Rubella scare, whilst one of the worst times of my life, brought home to me how devastated I would be if anything happened to this baby. I couldn't even talk about it to anyone I was so scared.

I guess what I'm getting at is that you are probably bonding unconsciously with your baby already and lightning bolt moments might wait until after it's arrival.

monkey what a worry you had.

peace I think everything is "normal". My mum always jokes she wasn't remotely connected to us until after we were born.

I'm a bit more in monkey's shoes. I struggle with the low level worry too and for that reason alone, also hate pregnancy.

I have felt less connected this pregnancy because I have had a number of external stressors to occupy my mind. Every so often therefore, it is lovely to reconnect eg buying a little something just for this baby.would you enjoy choosing a babygrow for your little one for their leaving hospital outfit?

Why do you dislike movement so much? Is it a trigger of worry for you? I love movement as for me it's a sign that all is well. In fact, it is the only thing I miss when not pregnant!

Peace, I think it's pretty normal to feel that way. Esp with 1st baby when you have no previous experience. I can't say I feel bonded/ connected to small either and certainly couldn't really use the word love, but I'm sure it will come. If not during preg then once she is here.

It's so surreal, almost like it isn't really happening despite the growing bump. I also feel pretty grossed out by a lot of the movements and it's worse now it's visible and my belly is jumping around. It's just plain weird tbh!

It sounds like you have a great handle on your mh and you know yourself well enough to identify if it were something to be concerned about. And saying 'my baby' as you have in your post, possibly suggests you've bonded more than you think you have. More subconsciously perhaps? It's different for everyone - there's a wide spectrum of whats normal so don't listen too much to others...especially me! Just trust yourself and your body.

Thanks everyone for the support. Will report back tomorrow after the scan.

Honestly, I don't know why I dislike it so much. It's gone from a vague icky feeling to pure dread and resentment. I struggle with physical affection. Maybe it's that? I don't like being touched when I don't instigate it. God I'm going to be an awful mother.

peace I think you are massively talking yourself down. Many pregnant woman feel like you. I think the fact you are even voicing these issues shows how tuned you are with your thoughts.

Peace you're going to be a good mother. The fact that you're on here and worrying about it says that you care and therefore will do your best to make sure you are. I have days when I feel more bonded than others and I'm sure it's all down to hormones and how much I'm worrying about the unknown. Hormones have a lot to answer for. I think different people bond at different times, some not until some time after the birth so there's no normal. It just really depends on the person. Pregnancy is a really scary time but we're all here for you.

Thank you guys.
Just phoned my mother and now feel much much worse

I don't have any further wise words to say than what these other lovelies have said.
But hugs from afar Hang in there and i hope the motherly phone conversation wasn't too traumatic!

Haha it's okay, I just never learn not to expect anything from her.
Seriously though thanks guys. You always bring me back up to earth.

Peace I know what you mean about movements - they make me feel really weird and kind of hurt so I'm not enjoying them. But do feel reassured by them if that makes sense.

I feel like the excitement of my pregnancy has been completely wrecked by my family - it's like they can't contain themselves with excitement which I know I should enjoy, but it's literally all my mum an talk about. And my sister is doing a childcare course at college so I'm constantly getting "do you know you have to do ............ With babies?" I'm quite independent and want to be learning stuff by myself not being told anecdotes about my mums pregnancy constantly. It's like I'm a walking uterus that has no purpose but supplying my family with a baby dp's family on the other hand are so lovely and are acting like I would expect normal people to