December 2014 Thread #4

[miraculous2]

Stats anyone?!

I don't care if its a boy or a girl, but I have, pretty much since day 1 been convinced its a boy. Don't ask me why, as long as it arrives safely and is as healthy as can be I really don't mind either way.

We had our scan today to check for markers for Downs, they have said that there are no markers there whatsoever and everything they measured was normal. We know the only way to be sure that he doesn't have Downs is to have an amnio but we have decided that we are going to do nothing. We have a 59 chance or 98% probability that the baby is healthy so we are going to go with that.

Was a bit emotional at the end of the scan but it was lovely to see our little bean again. Was very active and we got a lovely profile shot, which is the first decent scan picture we have had.

Am now going to enjoy the rest of the pregnancy, not stress out and keep positive.

16 week MW appointment tomorrow so will see what she has to say.

16+5 today can't believe the half way point is nearly upon some of us!!

Some of you were asking after I posted my scan pics this week if I was going to find out the flavour. I'm not, I don't want to, but...

I'm having identical twins! So I'm getting two of the same flavour and a little bit of me is sad that I won't get one of each! Daft, I know - it is utterly brilliant that they're identical.

And, my brain is stuck on boys (kinda always has been). Even though I know there would be things I would really miss if I didn't have any girls. Either way, actually.

So I've reasoned that finding out the gender in the rush of relief that they're out and okay is the best way.

I have absolutely no inkling which it is... I think the guesswork is total bollocks!

I will find out if I can because I don't see the point in waiting.

A boy would be convenient as I have all ds's old baby things still but I don't mind either way.

We'll find out for the sake of the other children, I think. I didn't find out for the first two (one of each) but did for the third. We had a 1 in 80 chance of Downs with her, so had to have more and later scans as we turned down an amino. By the end it was obvious she was a girl so we knew in advance.

This one's a surprise and my little one (7) is struggling quite a bit with the idea. Hopefully knowing if she's having a brother or sister will help put her at ease.

Am having twins ideally would like one of each but always preferred boys, setting my heart on boy girl combo tho :)

Wasnt going to but think I might because it'll help me get my head around this pregnancy and help me bond a bit better

I'm in a travellodge in a room in the basement - right next to the tube line. Keep hearing what sounds like a rollercoaster whizzing past the window. Least the bed is big and comfy and I'm already in it!

My dh has a dd and i have 3 ds, so, unsurprisingly, he would like a boy and I would like a girl! I do keep calling the lo he tho - not sure if that's instinct or just force of habit lol! Im actually now getting quite keen n the idea of I being another boy - cant picture it being a little pink one lol! Hoping we might get an early clue at a cervical scan in 2 weeks! 16+1

Whoooop Miraculous! Identical twins! That's amazing. I'm quite amazed at the number of twins in this group. In my group with DD we didn't have any!

We will find out this time and both of us are leaning towards a boy preference. Only because both our families just produce girls so this would be the first boy. We're both expecting girl though and we'll be thrilled if it is a girl. We have all the stuff, know what we're doing with a girl and have a name we're both set on! I didn't find out withDD til the birth and I did find it quite difficult with the bonding during pregnancy. She just seemed to be an alien to me. I think finding out will help me give it more of an identity

17+4

Im totally with you punkypod, all our siblings have had girls first so I think DH and I would both like a boy. My DH was adamant before we got pg that he wanted a boy now I think he's definitely softened and would be delighted with either. I however still think I would like a boy, bad me.

I am not in a good place at the moment. I lost my grandmother early this week, and my parents are not in a good place relationship wise at the moment. Then my twin sister, who does suffer from poor mental health, decided to take a pop at me tonight about my parents relationship. My mum confided in me y'day and I was trying my best to keep my mum's confidence and my sister just laid into me. She is totally horrible in what she says, pushing all my buttons, telling me to back down and that I always have to be right. I am not sure what I was right on or what I was backing down and she refuses to answer me when I ask making me more irrational. Its crazy. And I've been dealing with it for years, and I can address it better now than I did for a long time. She knows what she's doing and it really annoys me that I have to walk away rather than confront how horrendously horrible she is being. I didn't walk away tonight and that's why it all blew up. What I can't understand at the moment, is that I have been terribly emotional this week, the hormones and death do not mix well together, and i am so unbelievably tired. I can't count how many people told me today that I looked tired. Even my dad commented and that's the first time he has said anything about my pregnancy. With my presentation, what was she thinking doing her best to wind me up?

So i end up in a ball of tears talking to the bump and apologising to it for getting so distressed. Major reality check that I need to avoid stress and if she is causing it or others, I need to stay clear of them. I will be completely devastated if something happens to my baby because I could not manage my stress levels or stay away from those that cause heightened stress.

Im staying at my parents tonight, and I would just love to go home but it's more convenient for me to stay here tonight. I don't even want to tell my dh as I know he will then be cross at me for letting it happen and causing myself more stress. I am the biggest worry wort, when she's not wrecking my head, Im worrying about her. I need a happy medium but Ive just realised that were she might have been first before, my baby is now first in my head. It needs looked after more than her, and from now on is my total priority. Poor dh, he was always second but he copes so well with it and that's why i love him.

I think part of the reason im so set on having a boy is because of the name that we've decided on - which is a name that I have loved for years, whereas there are no girl names that really stand out for me. Probably makes me sound like even more of a terrible parent already!

As we've moved, our anomaly scan isnt going to be until at least 23 weeks. Would I be crazy to pay for a private one? It would mean a month less of worrying but dont know if that's reason enough to pay £150 for something we're getting for free a month later....

I always thought I wouldn't want to find out, but I'm quite tempted as it would be nice to know... And December seems such a long time away... They don't tell you at scans here though, so would have to go private.

I also really want a girl. I'd be delighted with either, but I have 6 nephews (5 on my side) and salt my niece was stillborn. I'd love to give my muma granddaughter, she'd be so thrilled. We all took my niece's death quite hard and still upsets me to think about it 6 years later. Even thoughI was quite a tomboy as a child (trains, football, sport etc) and ultimately I would love a boy too, I just know how much my mum would love a girl. I know I've already made her super happy just by getting pregnant (youngest/closest to her) but it would still be nice!

• salt = sadly

Just out of interest, did you all have to do the carbon monoxide test thing at your booking appointment?

And if you did do you get tested at every appointment?

I only ask because my friend and I were talking about it the other day and she didn't get tested at all but I did at my booking in appointment

carbon monoxide testing???

I got tested at my booking appointment but haven't since

I did it at booking appointment.

I have heard of people being tested, not sure why though.

Martie that all sounds very stressful. I think you're right to try and distance yourself, growing another person gives you the right to be selfish when it comes to your wellbeing. Hope it calms down soon, and sorry about your grandmother as well.

I was always so sure I wanted boys as I'm not particularly girly and had a fairly crap relationship with my mum when I was younger. Naturally I've now done a u-turn. Still not going to find out though, even though it's driving me loopy not knowing!

Ok thanks, just wondering because we were talking about it the other day, one of my friends was upset that she had to do it.

My theory was, they have to do it so just do it, if you've got nothing to hide what does it matter anyway.

I actually have a really good relationship with my MW anyway (same one as with DS) and we were talking about it and she said she doesn't actually see the point in it because so many things can affect it, like passive smoke (my PiLs smoke so that would affect it), pollution etc.

Martie that sounds so stressful and emotional. You really do need to step back a bit and not allow these people to cause you so much stress at a time when you reeeeaaaally don't need it. Put you and your baby first and make sure you're both ok. Eat well, drink well and sleep as well as you can. Our bodies are doing something so miraculous and it's bloody hard work growing a human! Time to let your sister's dramas be directed elsewhere....

I slept so bad last night. And got carpel tunnel syndrome in my arms and hands already. Can't believe how uncomfortable I am so early on with this pregnancy. I only started moaning at about 35 weeks with DD!

Baby's doing a conga at the mo. There's something about this pregnancy which is making me love this little wiggle ball so much so early on. I was so anxious with DD and just willing everything to be ok. This time Ofcourse I still hope everything is well, but I also feel very connected to the baby. Lovely times

I was in the throws of giving up smoking when I fell pregnant. Had been for about a year but just couldnt kick the last few. Stopped as soon as I found out and no desire to smoke since I read that the baby gets more of the shit in them than you do. The offered me smoking counselling and the tests but I said no as there really was no need. DP is giving up using Champix. His Carbon (monoxide? dioxide?cant remember which- I've got an environmental chemistry degree ffs!) levels started at 30 when he was smoking and went steadily down as he cut down then quit. Hes not smoked for two months now and his levels fluctuate between 1-3 because we live in a city and he drives 40 minutes through the black Country to work everyday.

I've been tested for carbon monoxide at every appointment. My midwife said it is basically just a box ticking exercise. I see why everyone is supposed to do it, so as not to be seen to be picking out certain women. Doesn't bother me really. But I do try not to be judgemental when I see pregnant women smoking. For all I know they might have been on twenty a day and have worked really hard to cut down to one or two. I don't know their circumstances so who am I to judge.

I feel like as a mother I am being judged all the time by people who know nothing about me and it really really pisses me off so I try really hard not to do it myself to other women, even in my head. Is hard sometimes though

Some pregnant women are not planning on keeping their baby, and so carrying on smoking helps them to detach emotionally and keep "normal".

Hi all, has anyone heard from Emily?

Hope you’re all ok, I’ve got some catching up to do! Bloody work has kept me away from MN!

I heard the heartbeat last night which was lovely. Student midwife found it straight away and it sounded like a train then baby decided to go for a swim so I was treated to some swooshing noises for a bit.

Unfortunately I also found out that I'm now under consultant care which, unless I'm discharged beforehand, throws my birth plan out the window. Midwife has no idea why I'm under consultant care but it is probably because my mum had a stroke aged 45 and has diabetes (type 2). DH reckons I'll be discharged quickly but I'm seeing the birthing pool and private room on a lovely MLU as suddenly out of reach. Whatever the reason, they're obviously not overly worried as my first consultant appointment isn't until I'm 27 weeks.

I’m not going to find out the sex. I want the whole “It’s a boy!” or “It’s a girl!” moment when I give birth. I think that’ll help avoid any gender disappointment as well. I know deep down DH would prefer a boy and I’m worried he’ll be a bit “meh” if we found out it was a girl beforehand. I think he’ll be overwhelmed by the birth so will just fall in love with baby whatever the gender. I know that’ll be the case regardless but it’s my messed up logic I don’t really have a preference either way. I’ve got a feeling it’s a boy but had an overwhelming “It’s a girl” moment during the scan. On screen, baby was definitely a she to me, whereas to DH, baby was a he I’ll be interested to see if those feelings change at the 20 week scan. Less than 4 weeks now! Yay!

I understand why they do the testing.

I also understand why some people smoke while pregnant.

My reading at booking was 2, if they do it today it might be higher because I'm going over to PiLs before my appointment and they both smoke in the kitchen