November 2014- thread 4- 12 week scans and blooming in the second trimester!

[barmybunting]

Hi everyone, we have run out of posts on our last thread so hopefully we'll all find this one easily enough.

Here is to more positive 12 week scans and enjoying our second trimesters, all feeling more human hopefully!

spanner after all this is over you'll look back and think "Why did I fight ADs for so long??"

I was on them for 4 years and though I've been off them for 10 years now, the memory of how they literally saved my life is never far away. I have been keeping a close eye on my anxiety levels and would have no hesitation in taking them again, yep, even during pregnancy.

And after baby is born I'm going to be hypervigilant about PND, and will gobble all the medications in the world just to ensure I'm able to function as a mum.

Think of it this way, you are taking steps right now to ensure you're carrying baby in the healthiest way possible. You're taking care of yourself, and in doing so, you're actively working towards a positive pregnancy. I think you should give yourself a pat on the back, tbh, as you're being a proper Mum by being responsible about your health. There's nothing childish or selfish about going "right, I need to do this". On the contrary, it's a very level headed and mature reaction, and is an intensely difficult point to get to when your anxiety and depression are whispering in your ear that to seek help is weak.

I began to think of my depression as that Bad Angel on one shoulder, whispering terrible things, trying to undermine you in every way. "Look at you, you're a mess" etc etc etc. It was only when I started taking tablets that that voice started to recede. Before, it was so loud you can't even think! Or sleep, or eat....just whisperwhisperwhisper all the time.

So I'm proud of you, and I know one day you'll look back and be proud of yourself too.

Lovely scan photo Posy! So lovely to see them, would post mine but I think I'll wait for the proper 12 week one to do that.

Spanner I'm so sorry you're having a hard time. I know AD's can seem daunting but they really can make a huge difference and I hope you start to feel the benefit soon! Here's to a happier tomorrow for you :-0 xx

that was meant to be a :-) not a :-0 sorry!! xx

spanner I'm glad you're getting the help you need. I may also check out those bluebells and pandas groups if I can find them. I've put it down to hormones but I know it's not really, I've had a lot of very teary days and anxiety levels through the roof where I've been in a borderline panic attack for 3 days at a time, or under the duvet not wanting to get up for days on end. There were even times early on when I considered whether I could carry on 9 months feeling like this and whether I should reconsider this. Today and the last few days I've been crying or angry constantly, and it's now given me a pounding headache on the edge of a migraine all day and I'm about to go to bed and try to sleep it off - the screen is hurting my eyes and making my head worse. It's all down to my ex husband and things he is saying and doing re my daughter, the lies he's telling everyone, the way he is so obstructive and constantly trying to get me out of my daughter's life, and then trying to sort out my daughter's birthday next weekend when everything seems to be going wrong and it feels like I'm trying to run uphill through molasis, or rather wheel uphill with this bloody pelvis, plus feeling crap, plus hormones, it's all a bit much at the moment. I'm happy to be pg and I'm not scared or worried at all about haing the baby beyond the pregnancy, but as pg goes, this is a tough one and I'm not happy. I see a private psychotherapist every 3-4 weeks which is a help, being able to talk to someone without being judged or them running a mile. I refuse to take tablets as I have reacted really badly in the past and they nearly bloody killed me when everyone kept forcing me to keep taking them more and more and at higher and higher doses, and I refuse to take the ADHD meds anymore as they destroy all my personality and turn me into a zombie with no soul, no passion, no opinions, no fire, I can't live like that and it leaves me open to abuse from others when I literally have no spark in me, it's not me, it's a mindless manequin who looks like me, but with dead eyes. I actually really can't wait for this pg to be over, I really feel shit, physically, mentally, emotionally. You are most definitely not alone. With the amount of changes happening in our bodies it is no wonder that some of our circuits start misfiring. But in a way it's nice to be able to put it down to pregnancy - aat least there is an end in site, the babies will be born, the hormones will calm down, things will go back to normal eventually, everything is only temporary and there is an end in sight.

spanner keep on keeping on. I suffered with an anxiety disorder in my late teens to the point where I ended up in hospital with a stomach ulcer. It's really unpleasant. It was only when I was physically ill as a result that I gave myself permission to recover mentally a bit. I am keeping a close eye on myself to distinguish between hormonal downs and anxiety because I'm not going back there again.

My random news: I've just got back from shopping and now have loose t-shirts, leggings, loose skirts and culottes with elasticated waistband. The jeans have been retired until next year. No idea what I'm going to do about work clothes though - my work has a pretty strict dress code.

DP (wot is a photographer) is currently busy with Photoshop to put the scan onto a photo of us together with an arrow pointing to my stomach, for the purposes of telling the Book of Face. She wanted to do a movie poster (like the one on this set of suggestions but I vetoed it for being Stinking Bishop cheesy.

Scarves!! Invest in scarves.That way your old work trousers and skirts can still work with a hippy scarf tied round your hips to cover the open zips!

Love the pregnancy announcement photos. I posted mine earlier which became my Facebook cover photo as my announcement. I gave a copy to DD as a clue to Mummy's big announcement and watching the clogs ticking trying to work it out was hilarious. She got me a pressie today, went out with Grandad and to a shop and conned him into getting me a big purple monkey with a baby monkey, and a card saying "To Mummy and Minion from Big Sister" then went to McDonald's (Grrrrr Grandad!!!) and gave me her Happy Meal toy of a rattling Rio as a rattle for the baby! Made me cry. Part of my hormonal wobble the last few days has been convincing myself she doesn't care about me anymore and prefers her father's whore after something nasty her father said the other day. I'm in bed now nursing my headache, having yet another cry and cuddling my monkey.

Hi spanner. On phone and can't post links atm - will do later. There is some great advice given on this Nov thread from others.
With DD - my MW picked up early on that there was something up but my AND hot pretty bad. I refused ADs as I was so paranoid about drugs affecting fetus. I look back and wish I had so I might have enjoyed being pg. I battled on with PND and again, as I bf, I didn't want no meds. Another thing I will do differently. I won't talk too much about it here but my partner and family only realized how bad it had become when I was going to be hospitalized. Take every support going ( as you are) and,know that you doing pretty amazing.

I haven't posted here about this pg ( and wont hijack it on you either spanner) but this time I know what is happening to me and am taking early steps. We deserve all we can get.

am not into giving out MN hugs but consider them given to all those struggling. X

Spanner and Random, thoughts are with you. Ps love the purple monkey idea!

Your Dd sounds amazing Random, just think of her and let her love get you through as much as you can. A cry every now and then is very good for us in my opinion, if it gets too much the support groups sound a great place to start

hi folks - i am aware these are local services but pandas is national

www.netmums.com/glasgow/local/view/support-groups/antenatal-postnatal-support/tom-allan-centre-bluebell-pnd-counselling-service

<a class="break-all" href="http://Www.pandasfoundation.org.uk" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Www.pandasfoundation.org.uk</a>

Thank you again for the really kind words. I was successfully on ADs for years and came off when I found out I was pregnant as my doctor told me being on no medication was the ideal. I stupidly took it into my own hands and stopped cold turkey.

Your support brought a smile to my face tonight which is a rare thing.

I have a pandas group literally five minutes from my house. How lucky is that. I have sent them an email. I'll let you know how I get on.

I had to empty the bin today and the takeaway hall of shame was exposed to hubby who was away this week. 3 Big Mac meals, two curries, one battered sausage and chips.

But f#*k it they tasted good.

oh spanner - that is great to have support so close by!

There's one about half an hour, 45 mins from my house. I've emailed them. Also passed the link to a pg friend of mine who is also struggling with anxiety, depression, reduced AD dosage & hormones.

great stuff random - another one with support close by

Yay I'm an auntie!!!! (of sorts!) My little cousin had her baby boy, (we're going with auntie because of the age gap and it's my only chance, I don't have any siblings) called the same name I'm calling mine if it's a boy so that will be confusing but doesn't affect my decision, 8lb 10oz (lightweight!!! I still hold the family record with DD being 10lb 2oz!) so what lovely news!

10lb 2 oz!!!! Ouchie!!!! Was that a natural birth random? Hope they gave you a medal!
My dd was 7lb 3 had her natural with no pain killers but ended up having 5 stitches ( with lots of painkillers).
Congratulations on being an aunty!

No DD was an ELCS and nearly 3 weeks early.

congrats random!

13+3 today, a 3rd of the way through :D

Hmmmm 2 things are missing today - the sun and my bump!! I've shrunk right back down, I don't look pg at all anymore when I looked very obviously pg a week ago and I'm back to a bit podgy! What the...?

maybe he or she has moved to the back? or It was more bloat than you thought?

Looking in the mirror I think it's hiding in my arse or hips -they've definitely grown!!

Hi ladies, scan on Thursday was great (in the end, DD started screaming when we went into the scan room and DP couldn't calm her down, he was just leaving with her when she suddenly went quiet and watched the screen meaning DP didn't miss anything, phew!) Baby was in an awkward position though so they couldn't get the unchallenged measurement, have to go back at 15 weeks for the blood test instead. Will try to catch up with the thread now!

Unchallenged measurement?! Should have been nuchal measurement!

misslaughalot - great pic and glad you all got to see the scan
How many weeks are you now??

12+ 2 today