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November 2014 Thread 3- Counting towards the second trimester!

999 replies

barmybunting · 06/04/2014 06:56

Hi everyone,

A new thread for us chatty bunch due in November. Could someone repost the stats? I'm on my phone so can't do it. Thank you!

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
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alita7 · 19/04/2014 12:12

January he was brilliantly supportive for the first couple of weeks of crazy pregnant me. now he's either decided I'm milking it or he can't deal with it so he's not going to. he's got 3 dsds. The first two are twins, him and their mum had broken up when she found out she was pregnant and she didn't involve him much, with dsd 3 he says she was a nightmare (and knowing what she's like when she's not pregnant I can only imagine but even so... im sure part of it was his attitude.) he told me I was showing all the signs of being like them and leaving him and taking the baby etc...well tbh he's being an arse, I wouldn't feel/ act like this otherwise! I do think he's sort of got it in his head that it's something that will happen and is subconsciously making it so.

Random your ex sounds awful! dp does do the arranging things you can't do or in my case things where we risk outing the pregnancy when we have decided not to (yet he is adamant we can't, and that me moaning that covering it up will be impossible, is actually me threatening to tell apparently) like today he's agreed to a friend, who let me stay at hers for 6 months a while back so I should be happy to help, that we would all (got all 3 kids) would go over and help her pack and move boxes for moving... obviously I can't lift things so I need an excuse and I told him he agreed so he must make one up and he told me no and that I'm being difficult, worrying about things before they happen, well she is going to be wondering why I'm just standing watching everyone pick up boxes, she is the sort to ask why, she is the sort to ask, in front of the kids, if I'm pregnant and she is the sort who would tell everyone we know if I told her. And moaning about this is totally unjustified apparently.

RandomInternetStranger · 19/04/2014 13:03

They just don't think! When I was early pg he arranged for us to climb up the local church on 2 ladders tied together with rope, no safety harnesses or anything, to touch the spire because it was a once in a hundred years opportunity as the roof was being re tiled! Hmm But the arrogant old school chauvenistic masters of the universe old boys in the village wanted to do it and he had to get in with them and impress them. Hmm God he was a loser. Never read any of the dad to be books I bought him. I remember one night towards the end being bent over on all fours on the floor with really bad bract on hicks and my SPD yet again and crying in pain, and he totally ignored me and carried on watching TV and clicking away on the computer. Didn't once think to rub my back or ask if I wanted a hot water bottle or even a drink! The only thing he involved himself in was pressuring me to breastfeed and demanding and ordering that I WILL do it and he will be furious, disappointed and disgusted if I don't. Luckily I did for 11 months but what if I'd been one of the women crying in agony with it?? The more I think of it the more I really can't wait for his whore to fall pg! Grin

I think your DP sounds like he's scared. He sounds like he has a lot of issues left over from his DDs pregnancies and births and is scared of history repeating itself. I think you need to reassure him but also make it clear to him that his unsupportive attitude is not acceptable and will not be tolerated and if he doesn't want history to repeat itself he needs to MTFU and support you with this. He cannot arrange things that will make it really obvious that you are pg (or make you look selfish and lazy and pampered!) then bitch about people finding out! He has got to understand the hormones and emotions and just smile and nod and fetch you ice cream and remember that you are growing a human here, his child, and instead of making you miserable with it he should appreciate it and look after you. What is his relationship with his ex like? Can you talk to her or can she talk to him? It does sound like he wasn't very supportive of her either and maybe he doesn't realise exactly how bad he is/was with both of you and needs to pull his finger out.

alita7 · 19/04/2014 13:59

random dp would never arrange something as bad as climbing I think your ex took things to a whole new level ! But even so even if we have to do these things he doesn't have a be an arse he could offer help and support!
With his exes, the twins mum I don't think would talk to me (and I'd be fratenising with the enemy) and dsd 3 mum is an abusive lying bitch, that lead to dsd being moved to us by ss so that's a no go... but he has remained close to his ex from after them and so me and her have become good friends and she is very supportive, but she can't have kids so we are a bit cautious about telling her I'm pregnant so she doesn't know the context if I moan about him atm.
I agree he's scared and he's told me that, and I've been reassuring but also told him he must still make an effort, because if he puts me in a position where I want to go then I will regardless. Trouble is he doesn't seem to be learning from mistakes, he has the defeatist attitude that he can't control or even try to be better with these things -.-

anyway how is everyone? are other people between 10 - 12 weeks getting lots of twinges? do we know what it is? I'm aassuming stretching?

RandomInternetStranger · 19/04/2014 14:40

I'm 12 weeks today now and hoping for that radiant glow and blissful part of pregnancy to hit any day...! Wink

RiverRocks · 19/04/2014 16:39

Hi ladies, afraid I'm going to have to drop out. Had an early scan today as I've been running a fever, and baby stopped growing at 6+5, 3 weeks ago.
Thanks for all the support xx

Venus2 · 19/04/2014 17:56

RiverRocks sorry to hear your sad news. Take care of yourself x

weeonion · 19/04/2014 18:26

Riverrocks. That is hard news for you. Hope you are ok and back on another thread soon. X

januaryJump · 19/04/2014 18:36

River Thanks Take care, wishing you the very best Thanks

ElleOhElle · 19/04/2014 18:54

so sorry river Sad Sad Sad Thanks Thanks Thanks Thanks

Original poster
barmybunting · 19/04/2014 19:18

I'm so sorry River. My thoughts are with you.

OP posts:
Spannertime · 19/04/2014 20:26

River I'm so sorry to hear your news.

alita7 · 19/04/2014 20:46

so sorry river xx

amylou85 · 19/04/2014 22:52

So sorry river that's so so awful :-(

I have worried myself as went to the zoo today with friends and was walking around for 5 hours, felt so so I'll after. Slept for an hour and a half and still feel so crap and have mild cramping. Hoping it's nothing bad and that I've just over exerted myself and need some rest but mild cramping is worrying me.

alita7 · 19/04/2014 23:16

amy I hadn't been doing much moving around, but last night we walked the 30 minute walk to our friends and back and I had some mild cramps after and today I've had some too and I took the kids shopping then to the fair so, maybe it's the walking? or maybe you feel the effects of your muscles being stretched more when you try and walk for any length of time :p

chirpchirp · 20/04/2014 08:27

So sorry River, take care of yourself.

Moffit · 20/04/2014 08:40

So sorry for your sad news river!! Thanks

I know exactly how you feel, I am also bailing out! I had my private scan yesterday at 8+5 only to find out baby stopped growing at 6+3!! I'm devastated!! Sad Wishing all you lovely ladies happy and healthy pregnancies xxx

januaryJump · 20/04/2014 09:25

Moffit Thanks Take care of yourself, hope you have lots of lovely support at home Thanks

Tigsy · 20/04/2014 09:38

River and Moffit so sorry to hear your sad news. How devastating. Hope you both get lots of rest and TLC and are back in these parts with good news soon.

Nausea has eased off a lot the past few days and haven't been sick for 4 days. Am 10 + 4 so assuming that's normal and a sign the placenta is taking over.

AmyLou I've had similar aches and pains if I'm up on my feet for a long time. We did a lovely long walk along the beach yesterday but my back was so sore in the evening. I had really bad sciatica about 5 years ago which hasn't been a problem since but starting to get the odd twinge so worried it's going to make a comeback during pregnancy.

Spannertime · 20/04/2014 09:59

I'm so sorry moffit.

ElleOhElle · 20/04/2014 10:01

oh no moffit - so sorry Sad Sad Sad Thanks Thanks Thanks Thanks

alita7 · 20/04/2014 10:10

oh moffit I hope someone is there to look after you.

I wish I could go back to how I was in my last pregnancy, having never heard of an mmc i thought if I didn't bleed I was fine... would save a lot of worrying, even if it was more painful due to ignorance.

blamber · 20/04/2014 10:21

Oh no river and moffit, I'm really sorry to hear this.

Miskate · 20/04/2014 10:30

Oh God all this sad news is devastating, so sorry Moffit and River.

It's made me desperately need some reassurance from sensible people. My horoscope has predicted a big change on the 29th, altering the foundation on which all my future plans are based. The 29th is my scan date. Please tell me to stop being a dick.

amy83firsttimer · 20/04/2014 10:45

Miskate. Stop being a dick. Horoscopes are a load of old cobblers!

Miskate · 20/04/2014 10:47

I am saluting you Amy