November 2014 Thread 3- Counting towards the second trimester!

[barmybunting]

Hi everyone,

A new thread for us chatty bunch due in November. Could someone repost the stats? I'm on my phone so can't do it. Thank you!

How do you find out about NHS antenatal classes? At the book-in appointment the midwife gave me information on a tour of the labour ward and an afternoon of information on water births - but none about classes. Are they standard?

Do you always have to take your OH to antenatal classes? NHS or NCT? If you were on your own, would you be the odd one out?

blamber at the NCT classes round here it's usually couples because it's evenings & weekends and we're far too posh to have single pregnant women round here, rah! but at NHS classes with a lot being on weekdays there are more mothers turning up alone, whether they are single or their partners are just working. I'll (obviously) be doing everything alone from scans to classes to the birth but the only bit that phases me is going to the classes alone and getting the looks/comments/questions.

ps I've not had class information either - or info on the hospital tour, breastfeeding workshops, physio classes, I didn't get any leaflets or the DVD everyone keeps talking about... starting to think my mw isn't great...

blamber At my hospital they tell you at the 16wk appointment. Then you go and book it at the antenatal reception desk. They recommend booking asap as places go quickly - last time I booked at 16wks and went to a class when I was 32wks. Most hospitals do them, if they don't tell you at your next MW appointment then just ask before you leave. They vary, it seems, some do a couple of classes, others do a day. Ours was something like 10am to 4pm, with a lunch break (no food provided, not that I expected it! But make sure you bring some drinks and snacks). We had the option of Wed, Sat or Sun. But reading on here some classes are just a few hours and only during the week. Ours was largely focused on using the birth centre, because ours is in the hospital as well, when to come in, pain relief options available, parking issues (no parking here!), perineal massage and risk of tearing, what to pack in your hospital bag, breastfeeding, bathing baby, hypnobirthing... I think that was the main stuff. Our hospital doesn't like to do episiotimies and doesn't like to offer ELCS, unless you're deemed very high risk and they decide you require it. (although you can pay them about £10k and stay privately for one... ).

itsjustthursday The only thing that really puts me off the BJCM is just how gammy it looks with a carrycot. The carrycot is sticking out into the air!

It looks like its just plonked on top! I'm sure its perfectly safe, but it still makes me nervous. I know the carrycot is only for a short time, but its FREEZING here in the winter (well, until March really) so I'll be using it a lot.

By the way, I've just discovered the pushchair board, and now my head is fried. There's too many of the damn things on the market! Its impossible!

Blamber, I got the info about NHS classes at my booking in app but can't book until 20 weeks. A friend was told about hers at 16 week app, it sounds like it varies depending on where you are.

Thanks itsjustthursday . It's only this year we have to move twice thank goodness, DH is in the RAF and retraining this year hence the quick moves. Usually we are somewhere for 2-3 years. I think I am panicking at the possibility of moving to the US with a newborn more than anything, anywhere in the UK is fine and our lifestyle will be fairly similar to now as we live on the base, which always tend to be rural. That and they are notorious for giving very little notice about new jobs/deployment etc so I am really hoping they stick to the summer timeline so I can plan! Less so if it's UK based though. DH thankfully thinks abroad is less likely (there is 6 options as to where he can go, 3 are in the US) at the moment which is good as I don't want to go with a baby and I am not leaving my beloved cat here! Fingers crossed we hear soon and I will start buying stuff then. Much of it is generic as you say thank goodness.

PS my class had about 10 women, 8 came with DPs and 2 came alone.

They stopped offering tours of the birthing centre/labour ward, you can see them but only during the antenatal class. MW said it was because they were getting too many people wanting to book tours and they wanted to keep the places relatively free from random wanderers so that women could birth in peace - sounded reasonable to me! But during the antenatal class they ring up and ask to be told when will be convenient to bring up a group to see a room, towards the end of my class we went up to see one of the pool rooms and they made sure we exited quietly and quickly so that we didn't inadvertently run into a labouring woman. Thinking about it now, I had to transfer from pool room to delivery suite when I went into the pushing stage (so that someone else could use the room for waterbirth, as I wasn't), I was still high on G&A and just sort of wobbled along the corridor at high speed wearing just a gown, with DH and the MW jogging behind. I remember now seeing a woman sitting in the hall, looked like she could have been the mum of someone in labour, quite startled by my appearance. I imagine if you're on a tour that would be a weird experience for both class and labouring woman!

*I mean, antenatal class on tour, or person on tour

Anna Haha, get the deluxe carrycot and remove the seat unit. If you scroll down here you can see an example, it's an Elite or Summit they show but it gives you an idea of what it looks like. They've discontinued the model we have but are launching a new one this year, or you can get the older one online/eBay/Gumtree. I loved ours, it was great.

In all honesty the tour freaked me out. I can't remember why but the impression it left me with was that it was terrifying, uncomfortable, I didn't like the look of the people, I didn't want to be on a ward with them, I didn't want all the fathers and visitors on the ward, the rooms looked horrible and I was petrified of going in after that. However when I got ill towards the end I was in 2-3 nights per week for the last 6 weeks or so and actually it was really nice! I felt very comfortable and well looked after, I didn't mind being on a ward, didn't really notice the other visitors, it was nice chatting to most of the other women except one horrible woman next to me we all wanted to punch by the end of it and apart from crying babies and snoring mothers in the night it was really nice and I'm quite looking forward to going back in. Almost hoping I have to go in for a few overnights before the end again.

Thanks itsjustthrursday that looks more normal. Its such a hard decision! Buying a car is easier!

By thw way folks, just a quick word on bump bands. I bought the cheapie three pack from New Look the other day.

Not so much for support, but more for modesty as my belly is a full size fatter than the rest of me, and I found I was pulling my tops down self-consciously all the time.

It has a navy, a white and a black, and they s-t-r-e-t-c-h so don't bother with the M-L unless you're a big girl anyway. I'm a tall size 14 and the S-M is plenty big.

And they do provide extra coverage, especially over the top jeans button that won't close. However they provide zero back support and do scrunch after you've been sitting down for a while and need smoothing. But thats ok.

They are also quite warm - too warm for summer - but then I figure by the time summer comes we'll all be in proper maternity clothes anyway!

I wish dp would go with a second hand pushchair... I could get one worth £400/ 500 for under £50 on ebay. now I'm limited the under £250. I liked the mother care xpedia but he wasn't so keen.

I'm also confused by his 'rightness' the first item he ever got me was this dark wood heart shaped bowl thing, we're supposed to use It to save £2 coins and 50ps. He showed a load of screws and things in there a few months back and thinks he's had lots of little bits of shit since apart from baby obviously. Now in 2 days having cleared it out we've had 3 pieces of potentially good news!

RE the NCT courses, I'd quite like to do one (they run a Signature nearby-ish, but none of the cheaper ones typically!) but it does seem like quite a lot of money. Included is a 40 membership fee that I can opt out of - is anyone an NCT member? Are there any practical benefits? Money is really quite tight at the moment, but general opinion seems to be that the classes are more benficial than the NHS ones & I'd like to meet other MTB, as I don't know any in my area, let alone any of a similar age!

Don't suppose anyone here is in South Wales?!

I've emailed my local branch and explained my situation and thoughts on the matter and asked if they can recommend which, if any, course would be suitable for me.

Re membership it was nice to get the emails on local events and Nearly New sales but there wasn't really anything you couldn't find out yourself by looking in local publications and on a certain other forum which for all its faults does have good local class and activity information...!

The NCT is a good charity and does do some good work, but I don't know if as a second time mum it's really worth it for me. First time round then it's probably more worth it, but I know where the baby groups and activities are so.... I dunno. I might try out some of the local baby and bump groups and see if there's anyone there around my same dates.

I need help re clothing!!!
we're going to a hot country in 3 weeks for 3 weeks. I've already put on nearly a stone ( from size 10ish to 12ish) so none of my holiday clothes fit well. I have bought a couple of floaty dresses but I want some nice shorts - do I buy size 12 or size 12 maternity. any other good suggestions for comfy holiday clothes gratefully received!!??

OMG I just had the most insulting reaction from my POSTMAN!! Pretty fucking furious to be honest!!! He needed my autograph for a letter and when he saw me said "OMG are you (whispers) pregnant???" to which I said yes and he said "Oh dear! Oh dear oh dear! Do we know who the father is??" to which I said "Erm, YES! I know who the father is thank you!" and he said "Oh! But it obviously wasn't planned!" and walked off and I was kind of at the door stunned as he drove off! Excuse me???? I expected that from some bitch mothers at DDs school but my POSTMAN??? WHAT THE?? WHO DOES HE...? I can't even... just...

are you in maternity already elle? If not try on elasticated waist shorts and a 12 may be fine. If you want jean shorts then size 10 maternity might be best.

random I'd make a complaint! he's supposed to be working not making comments on people's life decisions!

random - I'd be furious!!!! RAGE!

thanks alita - I'm not wearing maternity yet (mainly cos everyone else has all my old stuff and I'm squeezing into normal clothes) think you'd be right with the size10 maternity - my belly is huge but don't feel like I've put too much on round the bottom

Had scan this morning and all looks good. So relieved! He didn't give an exact nuchal measurement just said it looked well within normal range. Also the baby was measuring 12+6; I seem to have gained at least 4 days! Really confused by that since I was using OPKs to conceive, but whatever :)

Oh my gosh, I'd be fuming Random! I'd seriously make a complaint - imagine the outcry if he'd met a man wearing a kippah at the door and said "Oh my God, are you a Jew?". I don't see how this is any different at all! Completely unacceptable! (And obviously mean no insult to anyone of faith; it was just an example.)

I can't decide if my waist is expanding from bump or from the obscene amount of food I'm scoffing. Have a sinking feeling that it's all just bloat & extra flab that is making my usual clothes uncomfortably tight...!

Random, I would call the sorting office and complain...how rude!
I am expecting lots of 'was it planned' type questions as I don't live with my partner and we've not been together long, although we've been friends for years. Planned or not (not in my case!) baby will be very loved and that's the most important thing...

Random Do you live in a very small community?! Just strikes me as so bizarre that a postman would even notice! That is so odd and no wonder you're annoyed. And even expecting it from mums at the school? I must be so sheltered, I didn't think anyone not close to you would even register you were pregnant, or even know if you're single or not, or anything like that...

Greenstone Yay! I tend not to focus too much on the EDD, I more consider the week, as it always seem to vary by a few days whether you go by ovulation, cycle or scan! And only about 5% of them turn up on the date so it's pretty useless really

Elle I think linen shorts or knee length trousers might be good too, they're quite comfy and usually made to be fairly loose anyway, and of course perfect material for hot weather.

Guys, I just ordered a Doppler from Amazon. Am I crazy?

I've heard the heartbeat once already at the hospital so I know its "hearable". But with my official scan not till 20 weeks....am getting anxious at getting through the next two months till then. Even if i booked a private scan, I'd still be a basket case of worry a week later.

I hope the heartbeat will ease my nerves. Anyone here have a Doppler before?