Due In Jan 2007 Part 3 -where we do stop worrying & start complaining!

[elliepippamummy]

Thought I'd try an set up the new thread up this works!!

Hi everyone - have had a quick scan of everyone's news and welcome to the newbies. I have my scan today so excited and a bit nervous - we won't be finding out the sex though but I reckon it'll be another girl for us. My SIL had a little girl yesterday which was such a shock as we all thought she would have a boy - my hormones went into overdrive and I sobbed with joy for her!

Muppet3 - please don't let the over-achievers you currently happen to mix with guilt you (even wordlessly) into trying to stay at work longer than you feel comfortable. I did know of a girl who sat at her desk with her water's broken (all over the office floor) trying to finish her work before her maternity leave!!!! For everyone of those there's at least one of us who uses the "I'm growing a baby" - line to rest up as much as possible. Whatever you do you don't want to overdo it and then end up in hospital with one of those nasty complications requiring complete rest. I took to arriving later and later at work and then cutting back number of days which was really great. If you can't do that then just leave and enjoy your last few weeks of freedom - do the things you enjoy most - go to lots of movies (you probably won't see an entire movie for quite a long time), eat peacefully in cafes, go on lots of romantic dates, etc. etc. etc. You need to build up lots of reserves not just for having the baby but also for the unbelievable tiredness of night feeds, and all the other joys of having a brand new baby.

A word of warning over the chairs - I kept asking my boss for a proper chair and he kept telling me that he didn't know why I needed one. So one day I swapped his chair for mine so he could get the idea. I didn't think it was a big deal but he hit the roof and we had the hugest of fights which led to me being cut from from 2 days a week (post baby) to one day a week!

Laughalot - I know what you mean - I'm terrified of having the baby second time around. I don't seem to have the energy to even pick up the dust pan from the floor, let alone push out a little blighter. Not only that, this time I'm more aware/scared of the exhaustion of the sleeplessness and the ickyness of runny, pooey nappies. Why am I doing this again? Oh, partly because I wanted to try having a new baby without thinking that it might die if I took my eyes off it for one second. - I'm now beginning to wonder if I really will be as relaxed as I intend. You're having a Lauren aren't you? We've chosen Lauren too if it's a girl but we don't know and have absolutely no ideas for a boy. Funnily enough I did for a while fancy Isaac - which I think means laughter - like your nickname.

theUrbanDryad - have you read any Sheila Kitzenger books - I think you'd like her. I've just read one about different births around the world. She basically divides them into two groups - traditional and technical, and definitely favours the traditional. She has a great example for the labour of a Mexican tribe which ties a string around the dh's testicles - to be pulled by the woman each time she has a very painful contraction. VERY appealing. My dp pointed out that this would probably work as a very effective contraception/disincentive for sex for quite a while too.....

DS has just asked me if I'm writing a book! So probably gabbled enough. This is definitely my favourite thread.

I have pretty much wimped out on the photoshoot thing (a disgusting bout of sunburn helps - I've watched enough "Next Top Model" programmes to know that's a definite no-no) - and dp has conjured up images of my body ending up under Gwyneth Paltrow's head with less than flattering accompanying comment. However if you hear they are desparate for 40+ then let me know. My wise Mum, while not appearing enamoured with the idea, said I should do what I want because I've only got one life... I really fancy being airbrushed to perfection - and if I "forget" to tell my grandchildren about that bit that will be entirely down to old age.

In case anyone is still reading this - how long were your scans? Mine lasted a whole 10 minutes which I didn't think was long enough. She kept saying things "looked all right" - never mind "looked" - I wanted measurements, in triplicate. I wonder if the only reason they won't do videos or allow you to film the scan is to avoid litigation about things they should have picked up at the scan, or is that just way too cynical and paranoid? Speaking of that, heard another horror birth story - hospital failure - disabled child - am definitely going to ask my SIL to accomany.

Poppy well thumbs up if you have a lauren and well what can I say Isaac fab name , I worry about my ds getting really pushed out when baby arrives he will be 2.5 im sure he will help me loads he loves helping now getting his wipes, emptying washing out the washer so I think he will be good like that I just dont want him to feel he is not loved as for the birth I had a horrible time first time around and because this is our last planned child I would love for it to be special and hope I dont feel as tired and drained as I did after last birth.

Good luck all who are having scans today hope babies are fine and maybe we might get a few more girlies however boys are fab

Laughalot - while your ds will inevitably feel a bit pushed out by new babe I'm sure he will gain a lot more by having a sibling than not. In fact that's probably the real reason we're having a second, ds (4) just seems so lonely at parks and places without a sibling to squabble with. My Mum, who has a lifelong passion for babies and has always worked in early child education, has a great tip for when the baby arrives. Sometimes say to the baby, "Just wait Lauren while I do xyz for ds." This won't affect Lauren and doesn't cost you any energy but will send a little message of importance to ds.

Becks - WHen I was having my DS, I felt pretty awful right from the start and had probs with migraines and as I sat on a computer all day my back, hips and legs were agony and just getting up from the chair seemed to take ages. I also had a long car journey (2 1/2 hours a day) and I got to the point where I was just getting home and bursting into tears. I reduced my hours from 16 weeks to 3 days a week (the loss of the money was almost as crippling as sitting at a computer all day but def worth it). The extra days gave me enough time to 'recover' from sitting.

Dont feel presured by other 'supermums' as who cares what they can do. I would agree with poppy in that you want to be as rested as pos when the new baby comes so I would take your mat leave whenever you want to. I got lots of stick, esp from bloke friends but I knew I needed it so just tried to ignore it.

Just a quick note. Your boss is legally required to do a health assesment of your work area when you get pregnant. If your chair is not suitable or giving you discomfort then it should be replaced. Have you got a union at your work? If not I would make an appt with Citizens advise centre and see what your rights are. I got a new chair and wrist supports due to the risk assesment and they really did make a diff. Lots of hugs hope you get it sorted xxxx

Sorry ment to say good luck for the scan Becks and the previous message was for muppet!

Damn that preg brain!!!

Morning everyone, wow there's been loads of posts to catch up on, I've given up even trying!

Welcome to the new ladies, I've forgotten your names already ;)

Sorry but no time for personals today, I've a mountain of washing to catch up on and the kids are back at school tomorrow, so I've got to dash round town this afternoon getting school shoes, pens, trousers etc but just wanted to pop on and say hello to everyone

I've got my 20 week scan on Friday which (for a change) I'm looking forward to....because I can feel baby moving every day now I know there's not too big a chance of getting any bad news (touch wood)

I was a bit miffed last night (in fact I'm still huffy about it) - we haven't seen the in laws for over a month as they went on holiday 2 weeks before us and weren't back until after we'd gone on ours. They popped round last night to exchange pressies and MIL came out with "God, you've piled some weight on haven't you??" I haven't put ANY weight on, but my baby bump has certainly made an appearance since they last saw me (which it will have done, considering I was 16 weeks when they went and I'm over 20 now!)

No one knew what to say until FIL tried to make light of it

Anyway, must dash, bump rubs to all

Loubie xx
20+3

hey hey hey......GUESS WHAT??? I'M DOING THE PHOTOSHOOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so excited, didn't think they'd actually phone back! i'm going on friday, so i'll see you there magnolia!

congrats to scans all of you.....for whoever it was who was asking...my first scan lasted about 15 minutes as she was trying to get baby to move, and the 2nd scan lasted about half an hour as she was trying to get baby to stay still! awkward sod, just like his mum! also, dp was waving and making stupid noises at the screen, so i think the sonographer may have thought we were slightly retarded and kind of left us to it after she'd finished doing her bit!

sheila kitzinger was recommended to me by someone else, i'll have to look at the library. and as for eBay.....GRR! the woman says she's posted it, but i phoned royal mail and they said they can't track it cause it's not special delivery. really don't know what to do. if she does have a proof of postage then i can't ask her to refund my money can i? this has kinda put me off eBay, and i was a total addict before!

anyway, my new furniture arrived yesterday afternoon, and it is AWESOMELY COOL! front room now looks like an actual living room rather than a squat. i'm so grown up! (i don't feel it...still feel like a naughty little girl!) dp is taking me out for dinner tonight as we had a bit of a row last night. think he feels bad now. mmm....curry. damn that heartburn! for reference, i bought my first bottle of gaviscon about 3 weeks ago, but then i suffered from heartburn before i got pregnant too! pain....well, take care y'all, and magnolia, see you friday!! xxx

Omg, so you are the one that is 21 weeks with 1st baby??? She was telling me about the ladies that would be there. Only 3 of us now as far as she knows. Are you going to Kings cross then getting cab? I can't wait

Welcome newbies and congrats on MORE BOYS!!!! Blimey wonder if we have the most boys for our month??
Will have to keep chatting after babies are born

This one is moving loads and always in the evening. Heartburn is awful but coping as long as I don't eat steak or mash potato. Had that the other night and almost cried with the pain

My twin girls birthday today they are 7!!! Been bowling and had lunch out. Just gonna do a quick tidy up before people and presents arrive

Thank you Have just battled through a short day and I think I've made up my mind to give my 28 days notice of mat. leave once dh and I get back from Cornwall. We're off tomorrow morning for 10 days of breezy strolls, lie-ins and gorgeous food and I can't wait. I know my health and safety rights backwards thanks to years of on-off carpal tunnel syndrome (including ops on both hands) but seem to be falling through a loophole as I'm hotdesking (i.e. there's no desk or chair which is 'mine' to be assessed by occupational health). Maybe they'll offer reduced hours or part time, but I'm tempted to just stick it now and get some rest ready for January.

Great news about the photoshoot Urban!

Muppet - I worked to 36 weeks last time and it was totally too long. Sitting for any length of time was crippling (and I'm normally out of my chair every 10mins or so), not helped by ds's foot being firmly lodged in my spleen for the last month! I'm going off at 34 this time, though I'm a little worried that this baby will be as late as ds and I'll have wasted 8 weeks of leave (I only get 6 months) by the time the baby even arrives. I'll start eating the curries early, lol!
Good luck with the scan today Becks, and ELM - any news yet? Mine's a week tomorrow, still haven't decided about finding out the sex!
DH glad your week away went well
Loubie - nice mil! I get really peeved at this point in pg and for the next 10 weeks or so. One person'll say "you're huge" when the next'll say "my, you're not even showing". It's not acceptable at other times in a woman's life to go up to her and say "whew, you looks a bit porky today, love" is it? So what gives them the right when you're pg "24 weeks? Is that all? Sure you're not eating for four, dear?", yeah hur hur hur, so funny ! I remember someone on MN posting on this, and they suggested various retorts. Personally I liked the one that went "yes I've put on a few pounds, but I'm pregnant. What's your excuse?"

Elm becky ????????????????

Hi all! Can't wait to see these photo shoot pictures, bet it will take ages to be released...hope you all have an excellent day.

I am with those of you who are petrified of giving birth second time round. It makes sense though really, mother nature doesn't quite block all the memories out like they say, otherwise we wouldn't all be so bloody scared!

Muppet-I would certainly start to give up work if you can, I will probably be following suit. I am so worried of a repeat of my first pregnancy where the doctor ended up signing me off in the November (was also due in January) and was admitted to hospital for strict bed rest shortly after and then induced early because of pre-eclampsia. Which my midwife strongly beleives is brought on by stress and overdoing it (which I was!) So, to be honest, who gives a s**t what other people do! Everyone is different and your health and babys health is the most important thing. I love resting, sleeping, eating etc. and am gonna listen to my body this time.

I have also taken to ignoring all comments on how big/small I am. It makes me laugh how everyones opinions are so different! I think the people who call you fat are jealous! You are pregnant for goodness sake! You can't help but get bigger! And the thing is, is that if you don't get bigger then they start saying that you are to small and is everything ok etc. A no win situation as far as I am concerned. Just gonna carry on enjoying being pregnant and all the attention it brings....cause it soon wears off afterwards!

Anyway, enough moaning for one day! I ACTUALLY feel quite chilled so far in this pregnancy and only complain on here!?!? Thats what girlie chats are all about I suppose!

yeah, someone said to me yesterday, "ah, well you look pregnant now, rather than just fat"....WTF??? how is it it ok to say something like that?

When I was 30 weeks preg with DS, we went to MIL and FIL for the weekend. Struggled with the long journey there and had lots of stops for toilet then when I got there she said that I looked like a fat cow!!! She is pretty proper so it sounded so weird. Didnt really know what to say so just kind of smiled!

HI there, crashing this thread after reading some of your messages which made me smile and feel less grumpy about feeling huge and uncomfortable still with 3 months to go. It's just great to see some chat from others who are pregnant (why on earth should this surprise me?!); I kinda thought second time around I'd be more chilled and sussed but nope! Love the fact I'm pregnant but I find being pregnant is hard work. Am quite skinny normally but have this huge bump which is good of course, as it means the baby is doing well, but boy (or maybe girl), is it uncomfortable! Anyone with any good tips for easing stomach muscles which are already stretched beyond their comfort zone? In the space of one day I've been told I look ready to give birth and then what a neat bump I have. Aargh!
And on the when to go on maternity leave issue, I agree its too easy to succumb to pressure to keep going and somehow prove ourselves. Er, proving what? That we put work before what we need? The way I look at it is we aren't irreplaceable at work, much as we'd like to think otherwise, so sod 'em and go for what you actually want for a change!

For those of you who are worried about not looking pregnant.....I was talking to a neighbour last night who is 2 weeks ahead of me...she's very slim naturally and you wouldn't know she's pg although she's put a stone on. She's now having to scrounge her friends size 10 jeans as hers no longer fasten up!!

And there was me looking like a beached whale.....

I wore some maternity jeans yesterday, they arrived while I was on holiday and as everything else was in the wash I decided to try them on before dashing into town...they seemed to fit fine so off we went only to find they kept slipping down. Not only did they keep falling down, they were taking my knickers with them too so it was awful trying to struggle round town with bags of shopping, clutching the waistband of my jeans! I ended up buying a belt which solved the problem nicely So beware of the 'under the bump' type maternity trousers - you may need a bigger bump than you think to hold them up!!

Hope everyone is well

Loubie xx
20+4

I have been lucky at work - they have given me a special chair which is more comfortable than anything I've got at home. We have just moved as well so it is nice to escape from the chaos of home to the order of my desk. They will be pushing me out of the door at Christmas...

Me too - they did a special pregnancy risk assessment as soon as I informed them I was pg and not long ago my new chair arrived - it's lovely and has a little pump for adjusting the lumbar support I hope they let me keep it when I go back!

Speaking of which, I think I'm more or less sorted as to when I'm leaving - I've requested A/L for 3 days on the 20th, 21st and 22nd Dec, then I'm off for a week for Christmas as I work on a part year appointment basis and then I'm starting my Mat Leave on 1/1/07 So that means that when I go back to work on Monday I'll only have 13 weeks and 2 days left!! Hopefully I'm going to stay off until the kids go back to school in September (depenfs how much A/L they let me tag on to my Mat Leave) and then DH is hoping to take 6 months off work from Sept - March 08. Can't wait!!

Loubie xx

Hello everyone - had my scan and all ok - baby is breech but they've said not to worry at this stage - yeah right try telling a pregnant woman not to worry eh! It was pretty uneventful really and all over very quickly. I have to go back in six weeks for another check and my first anti D injection - hmm nice!

I would have like to have done the photoshoot too but they never replied to my e mail so perhaps they had enough people already.

I'm going to work up until December 31st so that I get my full bonus for the year and then hopefully take 8 months off and come back at the beginning of September. I currently work a 4 day week so not too bad but I can't imagine paying the childminder double as its already crippling enough paying her for DD1 !!

Glad all is well Becks - did you find out whether you're having a girl or a boy??!!

We've said all along we're definitely not interested in finding out at my scan on Friday....until last night - DH doesn't know now whether he wants to know!

So we'll just have to wait and see whether we give in or not now.....

Loubie xx
20+4

Becks glad the scan went well for you even though baby is breech its got to be a little boy you know how stubborn men are .

Elm how was your scan hunny ?

Im supposed to be doing my ironing as we speak but I cant be arsed to do it iv already cleaned the kitchen and living room I think thats fine for one day . Looking forward to the weekend my dh is 30 so we are away for 2 nights on our own well besides baby bump mil is having ds.

I was wondering how other people have gone about arranging when to go back to work after Maternity Leave?

I'll be starting my Mat Leave on 1/1/07 and was hoping to not go back to work until the kids go back to school in September, but that will take me well over my 26 weeks Mat Leave. No problem I thought...I'll have accrued loads of leave while I'm off so I'll take 4 weeks A/L and then take the other 6 weeks as unpaid leave.

Only it's not as simple as that....you can't apply for A/L at my workplace for next year until December. They then let you know by Feb if you've been granted what you asked for. Because the leave I'll be wanting is during peak leave season I'll only be able to apply for a max of 2 weeks and 2 days initially, then when it's all been sorted it's a free for all for any leave that is left. So I won't know until at least Feb/March next year when I'll have to go back to work, by which time I'll be on Mternity Leave?? I can understand why they have all these rules regarding leave to make it fair for everyone, but you'd think they'd be a bit more flexible when people are off long term wouldn't you? I was hoping I could go to them and say I want to leave on this day, take A/L from here to here, unpaid leave from here to here and I'll be back on such a such a date. It would make it much easier sorting out a nursery place too...

Aaaarrrggghhhhh is it like this for everyone??

Loubie xx
20+4

Scan went well....it's a boy! Was absolutely exhausted all day yesterday cause I'd gotten myself in such a tizz and had no sleep.

Haven't even looked in to maternity leave yet, or childcare...need to get my act together...no change there then!
Glad the scan went well for you Becks.

Loubie
I think you are entitled to 26 weeks unpaid mat leave in addition to your intial 26 weeks paid leave - assuming you have worked there a minimum length of time (can't recall excatly how long, but it's not all that long, 6 months as at 15 weeks pregnant or something similar, you'd need to check). So they have to agree I think. Check out the TUC website - it's good on setting it all out simply. Tried to attach a link below but hasn't quite worked. It's this though - www.worksmart.org.uk/rights/viewquestion.php?eny=480
Good luck! Can't believe the meanies couldn't be flexible in your case anyway....it's not as though you're just asking for extra time to sit on your backside reading Jackie Collins on the beach after all.
Tweedle