May 2014 - the Maybies get even closer to Definitely!!

[ClearlyMoo]

I've been brave and started a new thread. Hope the name is ok....

Day three stuck in bed!!

Somebody save my sanity!!!

Childbirth isn't necessarily the worst pain you have experienced or will experience, Moomin. (Or anyone else worried, for that matter!) I actually found when I had an infection in my gum/tooth was worse pain, because it was constant and all consuming while the pain killers I was taking didn't touch it.

From my previous experience (and I realise that maybe I got off lightly) Labour at least is productive with a set time limit. Contractions come in waves and yes the peak of the wave is relatively painful, but you only need to tolerate it for a few moments and then it eases off again, vanishing almost entirely, to give you a brief break to recover before the next one.

So you don't need to head into labour worried that it'll be excruciating. :) I actually found it quite empowering. The G&A didn't arrive in time so all I got was paracetamol and there was only a very brief moment (which I later realised was transition) where I had a wobble over whether I could do this. I didn't even get a chance to voice it, as moments later it was all over!

Being sewn up afterwards on the other hand...

Oh no bornin - crap being stuck in bed! Hope you feel better soon. X

Glad your OH is onside now moomin. X x

Sorry for anyone else having a crap time too - rubbish at remembering.

Ooh, mrsfoo - glad your DH stuck up to stepFIL - he sounds like a twunt.

Got GTT this morning and I'm fuming as they insisted I had to be here before 9:30 (which was a challenge as had to drop DS at breakfast club and DD at my sisters) and they've not even taken my first bloods yet! I have headache and feel sick already, Grrrrr not going to get to eat until at least 12 now!!

Thanks for reassurance Spirael :) the weird thing is, I'm not scared of it or worried... it's like some kind of begrudging acceptance if I'm steeling myself for the worst, anything else can only be better

Obviously it all rests on next consultant appointment whether I'll get to try naturally or not past few nights the stretching pains have been getting worse though, and bump is bang on for dates so not even showing up big! After what midwife said though about just carrying on until I can't take it anymore, I can't see myself lasting the next eight weeks.

EIGHT WEEKS where have the last 32 weeks gone???

Spirael - that's positive to hear! I had a root canal a few years ago but before it was treated the agony of my dying root was the most panini have ever ever ever felt, and it went on for four days! Super strong prescription painkillers wouldn't touch it and all I could do was drink water and ice to try and numb the area. Couldn't eat any more than bread. So excruciating. It's made me feel loads better thinking of how painful that was and I got through it... Labour will be a doddle

Hugs bornin, box sets? Hope you're out and about soon!

Mrsfoo, wot a plonker! Ignore. He is irrelevant. Glad your dh told him to piss off! I would have too!

Luckily people have liked our name, although I'd try not to let it bother me if they didn't, as you say, you have to push it out, you get to name it!!

Squid fine, hope you're not there too long and get to eat soon! I haven't had to have gtt which is a huge relief as I am a piggy need to eat frequently and would go nuts having to fast! particularly if they were late! Grrr

Hugs to everyone else, I am sorry I can't remember all names!

Re stretchmarks (which my iPad autocorrects to STRETCHMARKS !) I am peeved about the ones on my boobs. They make me sad. But we get babies out of this, so I guess it's worth it

I was crying yesterday because I can't afford the baby wipes I want with the money I have left for this week. Hate being so skint. Now only on one part time job and feeling it. Then dp said why didn't he buy them, and my crazy hormonal brain just felt so grateful to him (don't know why! it's his baby too!) that I burst into tears. He was very confused, poor man!

Hope everyone has a happy and healthy third trimester!

29 weeks today!

Good on you MrsFoo and your DH for telling him off.

Moomin it isn't always the worst pain in the world. Really!

I've had a toe nail removed. THE worst pain ever.

Kidney stones. The second worst experience ever.
Period Pains. Mine have definitely been worse than labour pains.
Then labour. But the wonderful bit about labour, is there is an end and a prize! Every contraction is one closer to the finish line and getting to meet that little person.

I know what you mean though. I was terrified with my first and took every drug they offered me. Not because I needed it, but because I thought it was impossible to get through childbirth without. I never gave myself a chance to notice that I wasn't actually in as much pain as I had believed I would be.

Good news Clearly. That was a horrible scare.
Welcome back CBeebees. How have you been?

Here is a lovely, old, thread with good birth stories. Worth a read to counter balance some of the scary ones.
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/childbirth/1350240-Anyone-want-to-share-a-GOOD-birth-story

I think my biggest worry is not quite knowing how it'll compare to other pains I've had.... at the minute I'd rate tearing my thigh muscle/cracking my kneecap, and a kidney infection so deep-set they thought I had an abcess, as the worst pains I've ever had... closely followed by what they now think is adhesions tightening around my gallbladder and causing the sort of pain they'd expect to see with gallstones... but I've never struggled much with period pains, I'm a lucky one, so I feel like I don't quite know how to compare it. Fear of the unknown haha!

On the subject of pain in childbirth, I read a book called Bumpology a couple of months ago now & there was a chapter in it called: "What is more painful: childbirth or having your leg chopped off?" !!! They concluded it is slightly more painful to have your leg chopped off!

mrsmummy Only slightly?

panic mode sets in again

moobaloo, if you've survived that level of dental pain then labour should be a walk in the park. Provided there are no complications, then hopefully you'll be left afterwards wondering what all the fuss is about.

Possibly TMI but last time for the first part of labour, I was convinced I'd eaten something dodgy and that, combined with the iron tablet related constipation, meant that I was due a rather unpleasant toileting experience as I cleared my system.

Turns out, the item I was preparing to clear out of my system wasn't food based.

Later on, it was the same gut cramps combined with period cramps across the abdomen and some lower back pain, coming in waves where between contractions I felt absolutely fine.

The weird and mildly frustrating part I found is that all the core muscles tighten up at the height of a contraction which rendered me unable to speak. Also, all the muscle usage made me really, really warm - like I'd been exercising hard for hours. (Technically, I had!)

I recall making frantic hand gestures at my DH and the MW while unable to verbally communicate, trying to get them to stop filling the birthing pool up with more hot water as it felt like they were boiling me alive!

Well there's no way OH is going to get out of dog-sitting now. Ugh I know I sound awful and whiny but his mum's ill, she's got a kidney infection, so he doesn't want to rock the boat, and they'll deserve a holiday because she's been ill, and if I say anything against it his sister will no doubt have a go.

Is it bad that I'm seriously starting to wonder whether moving in with him is the right thing to do? If it was right now and he wanted to go back to be with his parents, I'd understand, but it isn't. I get the feeling he doesn't plan on saying no regardless.

Feel fed up today but at the same time, like a complete bitch for whining when his mum's ill.

GTT finally over off to McDonalds eat an apple

Oh moom circumstances are really stacking up against you aren't they
I do see what you mean about him probably not saying no even if his mum weren't ill, actually. It seems like it's been his lot all through life to put up with sister and mummy dearest being demanding, but he's still so young that I think he'd probably be "content" (for want of a better word) to keep the status quo for a quiet life, sadly you and MiniMoom don't seem to be changing his mind
About moving in with him, I also see your dilemna - this is the trouble with each being from faraway(ish) places. It's not like you could live with your folks and him with his, as by the sounds of it his would make his life difficult whenever he wanted to see you.

I'm so sorry this is a bad situation. If it's any consolation, I don't think his mum's piss should even vaguely compete with the safety/security of his unborn child at such an important and late stage of pregnancy. But then if you saw my post, in-laws aren't my favourite people right now anyway
Lots of love xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Well done for getting through it squiffie, I know I couldn't cope with not being allowed to eat for that long!

moomin, if him getting out of it really isn't an option then could maybe your mum come and stay with you that weekend or something as a back-up birthing partner? Maybe when he realises you're having to put arrangements in place it'll sink in that this is actually a big deal?

My dad's quite ill so my mum's got to look after him as well as my younger brother and sister (they're 14 and 12 and my dad is in no fit state to look after them)

The thing that annoys me is, my parents were due to go away for their 25th wedding anniversary this year, in June so 6 weeks after the due date, but they cancelled because they didn't think it'd be fair on us to ask us to look after my brother and sister with the new baby in tow. And yet his parents and sister are happy to go away when the baby could arrive at any minute?

And then OH complains that his parents are less involved than mine. Hmm, I wonder why that might be...

Oh moomin so sorry to hear ur having such a hard time do you have a friend that can drive that can stay with you?
its times like this im glad my inlaws live in a diffrent country and we dont speak the same lauguage, i think there lovely
Sorry to hear so many of you having a bad time sending you hugs and
Im 30+3 starting to worry about birth and mending after birth, feel like im going to miss the bump enjoying having some one with me all the time
But getting bigger and she keeps kicking so some times it aches but after reading about what some of you have been though i cant belive how well i fell how quickely its going and how much im enjoying it, i think with out you lovely ladies i would be much more stressed and not realise how lucky i am

Hey all

Its very sunny and spring like here and even though my fanny is on fire and I barely got an hours sleep last night, I am feeling good.

Moomin, I really feel for you. Its horrid to say and I hope I can articulate it properly but what comes across in your posts is a sense of fatefullness about this whole thing with your DP and his family, like you fully expect for him to let you down and that its just a case of at what point?

You keep making points about him putting the baby first and not bothering about where you come, but YOU need to come first, you and what you need for you and the baby and if you really feel like you dont then maybe its time to really think about you putting you first and making plans that carry on regardlessof whether he's there or sticks around. I think you need to feel secure and you need to take control of you and let him know that with or without him, you're having this baby and you're going to do a brilliant job. Don't wait for him to let you down lovely, you're worth far far more than that.

Can you maybe make arrangements to have a close friend or family member stay with you for the weekend he's off? Or failing that, can you stay with your parents maybe?

RE names, we had a top five for each sex last time and told everyone and then the scond, and i mean the actual second DS was born we knwe what we should call him, and it was on none of our lists. We're doing the same this time and bugger anyone who doesnt like what we choose!

RE childbirth, I didnt have an easy time, and this time am simply hoping for straightforward. From what I can gather, a straightforward 'normal' birth = terrible pain but a copable timescale. A non straightforward birth sometimes is because of weird positioning, and the level of pain is different, as is the timescale and pain, plus such a long period of time = exhaustion and probably intervention.....

Normal, thats what I'm after, two paracetamol and a nice sneeze and its out job x

Enjoy your afternoons Maybies!

Oh yes, I'd labour daily over tooth pain, no contest! But then like Sarajinx says it's about timescale/position really. If I'd have ever laboured more then 4hrs 30mins I might not be so sure of that.

Moomin - your OH posts make me so sad. I'm not going to insult him or you by typing what I think, I'll just say - find another birth partner.

MrsFoo - what a turd! Thankfully people just pull faces at my names :) I'm used to it and it doesn't bother me in the slightest.

Moomin ill come be ur birth partner!!

Kidney infection? Ist that another name for a uti? And how can they use that for an excuse now for a situation that's still at least 6 weeks away!!!?? I just don't get it!! Your oh needs to star standing up to his parents otherwise you and the baby are always Gojng to play second fiddle to them! And that's not your or the babies fault!!!

What if ur consultant decided you are to have elcs an the date is when his parents are away???

In my vindictiveness I would elect for elcs during that period to piss them off, but that's me and I do think along them lines

moomin There's nothing worse than depending on someone you can't depend on, I know. I've been there DOZENS of times. I agree with sarah - you should make plans that don't include him. You can't rely on him, he's not going to magically change - I'm sure he's been a good partner in the past (or you wouldn't be with him in the first place) but he's not being one now. It's like he doesn't get the gravity of the situation! It seems like you're putting up with a lot because you hope he'll be there for you and a good father etc etc. But hope isn't reality. If you can get the strength to look at the realilty of your situation - not what you want to happen, but what is actually happening, you'll be so much better off because, although it seems harder to make plans and do things without him, it won't be in the long term. Really, he can't blame you.

Argh had to press send because my boss walked behind me LOL.

Anyway, I seem all doom and gloom, sorry, I didn't mean to seem like that. I've been where you are and I wish I didn't stand for it. I hate to see others putting up with it when you don't have to.

It boils down to respect. I couldn't respect a partner for being such a pussy with his parents, and he can't respect you or his son/daughter if he won't put your needs before his darling bloody mother!

Moomin I actually feel angry on your behalf! Agh pregnancy rage (it seems to hit me over most things atm!) At the end of the day, no matter the circumstances, you are about to give birth to your first child. There is no way you should be alone that weekend & your OH needs to start thinking about how he is rocking YOUR boat & forget about his parents!! That sounds harsh but there is no way you should be left alone as if you don't matter. If worst comes to worst can you go & stay with your family that weekend?

Afternoon ladies, sorry to hear alot of you are still having a rough time :( seems like all the aches and pains are re-appearing now we're heading for the home stretch (how did that happen??)

Hope you manage to find a solution moomin perhaps as others have said, is there a friend or relative that could stay with you whilst your OH is away if he is determined to go?

I'm feeling a bit meh today. Had a fantastic conservation with a girl I know (cant really call her a friend - more of an acquaintance and shes not really my cup of tea) over the weekend which consisted of her telling me that its absolutely imperative that DP is there for the birth and how if he isn't there that it might mean that he doesn't bond with the baby properly by which point I was ready to punch her in the face. This was after I'd been saying that I'm preparing myself for the fact that he might not be there - he is working away in the Shetlands which means he has to get from shetland to aberdeen (a 12 hour ferry or awkward flight times) a flight from aberdeen to bristol and then a 3 and a half hour car journey to get home, so in all likelihood if I go into labour whilst hes in work he wont make it back in time. Im sorry, but why do people feel the need to say things like that? There isn't alot I or he can do about it and whilst it would be lovely to have him there and I really hope he doesn't miss it surely its not the end of the world is it?

Excuse me while I sound like an unfeeling bitch moomin his mum is what late 40's? She has a kidney infection, she's not dying! Yes it's painful but so is childbirth. You should be coming before a kidney infection, not be bottom of the list with him too scared to rock the boat

No I'm goin to go and read all the other replies!

Hi all,

Hope you had a good weekend. This is all starting to feel so real! Like I'm actually going to have a baby in 2 months and I still don't really know what I'm meant to do with it.

We are haphazardly sorting out the nursery. What do I need in terms of cot bedding and Moses basket bedding? Know I need a mattress and a mattress sheet, but what else? Think I'm going to get a growbag but am I right in thinking that baby won't go in that for a little while? So what would cover the baby in the Moses basket when we first bring him home?

If we swaddle do we not need any other covers? I've spent loads of time with Nieces and nephews so thought I knew a fair bit about babies but now it's getting closer I feel totally clueless. There is so much I don't know!