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Connect with mums-to-be with similar due dates to share experiences and support.

Due in September 2006......nearly there ladies!!

1001 replies

Coriander73 · 02/08/2006 09:15

New thread...

Cori x

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
mabel1973 · 01/09/2006 10:44

Liquid - Mears explaination of needing more pain relief, then the baby becoming distressed and heart rate dropping, was an exact description of my labour with DS, but nobody ever explained to me at the time what the consequences might be.

Vindy · 01/09/2006 11:24

I have to say that I think all of you 2nd, 3rd etc.timers are making me scared. I can't imagine feeling this big and bloated with a child running around! Is it a lot harder this time round?

Guess we're in the next school year now!

Vindy · 01/09/2006 11:26

Also should apologise for swallowing comments .

Myrtle1 · 01/09/2006 11:35

Liquid - Thanks for the links to the sites on problems you might get with a newborn. I wasn't really aware of any of them so I've bookmarked them all for easy reference later on.

Micromum - hello and welcome!

Can someone tell me what the yahoo site is and how i link up to it as I would like to look at the birth plans. Thanks

Pol - sorry you're feeling down. When we were renting I got really frustrated with not being able to decorate. I felt like I was constantly nagging DH too to change things - it did work out though so please don't get too down

liquidclocks · 01/09/2006 12:06

Myrtle - link is here , you'll need a yahoo ID and request to join - we'll let you in!

dramaqueen72 · 01/09/2006 12:30

Sorry to crash your thread ladies, I havent been on MN for ages and I'm looking for Bella, I'm sure she was due in sept because its the same time as my sister.....Did she give birth already? change her name?
sorry again for the interruption -and GOOD LUCK! you'll be fine

liquidclocks · 01/09/2006 12:57

Hi Dramaqueen - we haven't heard from Bella for a while either and we're all hoping she's ok - if you see/hear from her can you tell her to drop us a line and reassure us!

clairemow · 01/09/2006 12:59

Dramaqueen, here's a link to a thread from yesterday asking about Bella - /bellathread .

I hope she's ok, but we haven't heard from her since 12 August, so are a bit worried.

clairemow · 01/09/2006 13:08

hi Micromum. I thought mine was going to come early too, because my first one did, but it seems to be too comfortable in there...

Pol, I feel for you re. the house situation. Mind you, it's probably the most stressful time to move, when you've just had a baby (I know, we moved when DS was 11 weeks from London to Bristol.. - the move was ok, it was all the stress of getting it all sorted...).

Marls, I'm reassured about the sweep. If this baby's not here by Weds, I'm going to ask for one too.

Vindy, yes having a toddler charging about does make it harder at the end (although the beginning with the feeling sick wasn't so great either!!!), although maybe it takes your mind off the waiting... DS has just gone to bed, and I just want to collapse in a heap! The main thing I notice is that with my first pregnancy, I used to just lie down when I wanted, and sleep for hours in the day at the weekend. Now I can't so I feel pretty shattered fairly permanently. Can't see that changing for a while!!!!

Going to have a look at the birthplans now. Might put mine on if I'm feeling brave enough. It doesn't really say much apart from I want to be monitored carefully and offered section early if there are complications!

Wonder how 1B1B is getting on....

Tried a v. hot curry last night (well, dhansak, hot enough for me) - had tummy ache, couldn't go to sleep, still got tummy ache but absolutely bugger all else moving.

liquidclocks · 01/09/2006 13:23

I know this isn't really important in the grand scheme of things but I just had a conversation with the BF midwife at our hosp. I explained that I wanted to try BF, this was baby no. 2, had failed with no.1 - sorry left it so late to call her, has taken a while to decide etc etc. Soshe asks what went wrong with no.1 and I explain about meds and being told 'well you'll have to FF then' etc and that now I know that I should have expressed an give formula from cup for 24hrs and THEN - she said sorry! I know it's a really simple thing but it meant so much to me, she said I should have been supported more and she was sorry for the wrong information given to me and that it was really sad I'd not been able to BF because someone didn't know what they were doing. My faith in midwives has been restored a little in the last few weeks - just thought I'd share with you all!

compo · 01/09/2006 13:38

Hi everyone
LC - that's great you managed to get your breast feeding issues sorted before lo is born. I'm really hoping things go better this time although I did try and express last time with no joy so haven't bought a breast pump as I don't want to waste my money!!
Pol - so sorry you're going through a hard time with dp. Is it the commitment of a mortgage he's worried about?Maybe leave it a few months but tell him that in the new year you want to buy?
Welcome to Micromum - so glad we're finally into September - the count down can really begin now I asked my midwfife how long they leave you to go overdue here and she said 10-14 days so at least I know baby should be here by 26th at the latest (but please come on time lo!!)

homemama · 01/09/2006 13:39

Hi everyone,
Pol, sounds like you're having a really hard time of it. It is totally understandable that you would want your own home especially at this time. We have friends who did the part buy/part rent scheme and when they sold the house 3yrs later they had enough for a deposit in a much nicer area. Can you explain to him that it's a means to an end? Hope you get it sorted out.

Liquidclocks, we are also opting for the cord not to be cut until it stops pulsating. We have read quite a lot about it this time and it seems that the cord blood is very highly oxygenated and full of nutrients and the stem cell antibodies. It is suppose to give a huge boost to a baby's immune system. It's called a part physiological 3rd stage or sometimes called delayed.
You do have to make it very clear to them though as they will need to delay the injection that delivers your placenta as when that is given the cord then needs to be cut. My mw has suggested that DH remind them as the baby is born as she said they will instinctively go to give you the jab out of habit.

Hi Micromum, can't believe you've resisted us thus far!

I've been having BH for a few days now and they can be quite painful despite my mw insisting that BH are painless. Also having regular shooting pains up my whatnot! They really hurt and take my breath away. I want this baby to come now. Every morning I'm rushing to the loo to check my knickers for a show. How sad is that! Can't wear bras, maternity clothes no longer fit, just huge and exhausted.

1B1B, hope it's all over for you honey and that your DS2 is here safe and well!

homemama · 01/09/2006 13:41

LC, that's great!
It's a shame that we've are all so surprised when we encounter a 'goodie' because we are so used to being let down, ignored or patronised.

petrified · 01/09/2006 13:43

Hi everyone, hope you are all as well as can be expected!!!
I've decided to overcome my shyness and start posting cos it drives my DP mad that I spend loads of time lurking but when I'm unsure I won't ask advice!!!
HOw often is everyone seeing their midwives? I saw mine yesturday for the first time in 5 weeks and I'm not going to see her again for another two weeks. I thought that being my first baby I would be watched more than this. She also hasn't said a word about birth plans or anything to expect, is this normal and I'm just expecting too much? I'm also not sure if its because she is the my local midwifebut I have chosen to go to a different hospital to give birth.

Isn't it strange how there are so many anniversarys all at once, I've been with DP 2 years on the 8th (not married but a very big achievment for me!)

Vindy · 01/09/2006 13:56

Wow a good midwife storyvLC I'm really pleased.

Petrified - I've hardly seen my midwife. Annoyed when it would have meant more time off work Saw in my notes we had an antenatal discussion on 3/3. Funny, I don't remember even seeing her!
Had 39 week check on wed and said at beginning I would like to share Birth Plan. She nodded. Then at end didn't even ask. I had to be quite assertive. Told me I wasn't on MLU register despite having requested every appointment since booking in. Also don't know when to phone etc. and have no actual number for MW so have to see GP or delivery suite if worried.
Had show on Thursday morning but I don't know whether to let them know (as a couple of books say) or even who to let know!. Am just assuming not to as could still be days away and don't really want them to be poking around!! Find support really lax and consider myself an assertive person who has read almost every book I can find (maybe overread!!) but still as a first timer with Mum 200 miles away would like to see a friendly face!!
However, I know that there are lots of good MW out there from friends etc. Are you too late to change GPs etc. Also, just because she doesn't suggest you see her every week doesn't mean you can't. Make an appointment and turn up!

petrified · 01/09/2006 14:03

I'm thinking of phoning the hospital that I'm going to give birth in and make an appointment with them, Is this possible do you think?
(sorry if its a stupid question but am really clueless)

Glad you have had a positive exp now LC, thats great.

Vindy · 01/09/2006 14:15

I don't know what different hospital's policies are. If you phone them then the worst they can say is no and you don't even have to give your name so they'll never know it's you

Seriously, if you feel unsure about what's going on and worried, I'm sure you'll end up causing them more probs than just 10-15 mins every week. I think that's the best way to think about it. A friend of mine was having really bad pains at 20 weeks but felt stupid making an appointment to ask her midwife. Ended up in A&E in a massive state, had lots of tests and then found out it was prob her ligaments stretching. The midwife could probably have just told her and reassured her before she got so upset.

Vindy · 01/09/2006 14:15

I don't know what different hospital's policies are. If you phone them then the worst they can say is no and you don't even have to give your name so they'll never know it's you

Seriously, if you feel unsure about what's going on and worried, I'm sure you'll end up causing them more probs than just 10-15 mins every week. I think that's the best way to think about it. A friend of mine was having really bad pains at 20 weeks but felt stupid making an appointment to ask her midwife. Ended up in A&E in a massive state, had lots of tests and then found out it was prob her ligaments stretching. The midwife could probably have just told her and reassured her before she got so upset.

Vindy · 01/09/2006 14:16

Sorry - my advice isn't good enough for you to ahve it twice!!

mabel1973 · 01/09/2006 14:19

Petrified - I would've thought your midwife should've gone through your birth plan by now..I think seeing her every 2 weeks is normal at this stage, although not seeing her for five weeks prior to that does seem a very long time . It does seem to vary alot depending on where you live. The hospital you choose shouldn't make any difference, although I have noticed that as I am not going to my midwifes hospital, she has been pretty rubbish about informing me about things - claiming she 'doesn't know' who the other hospital works - surely her job to know??!
Vindy - i asked my midwife about having a show and she said they did not need to know - it means things are moving on, but not necessarily in the next day or even week. (sorry!)
Homemama - my midwife wrote on my birthplan about not cutting the cord til it stops pulsating - I wasn't aware why though.
Liquid - glad to hear you have had something positive back from your midwife.
I had a similar experience as I was on antibiotics for an infected episiotomy after the birth, which upset DS's tummy and made my milk taste funny and my midwife insisted I MUST keep feeding him. In the end he refused to feed from me so I ended up FF and expressing my milk to chuck away, in order to keep my supply up til I finished the antibiotics. Fortunately DS went back to BF fine, but an experience like that could've jeopardised it for us and it made me so angry at the time, just because some midwife was desparate to keep her BF statistics up.

liquidclocks · 01/09/2006 14:27

Hi petrified, nice to see you back - stop lurking and join in the fray!

My first pg I saw my midwife once every 6-8 weeks I think which sounds about the same as you. With regards to a birth plan I didn't have one last time - I didn't think it would be read! However, I'm a changed woman this time and I really think birth plans are important and DH is under very strict instructions to make sure the midwife (and any consecutive midwives) read it and take notice of it. Have you joined the yahoo group (link below) - I posted mine on there if you'd find it helpful, Marls's is good too. Having said that - I really don't think it's unusual for a midwife to 'forget' about constructing a birth plan with you which is a real shame. Sadly the NHS is full of lip service to good practice but when it comes down to it we just don't have enough time to do everything NICE or the health authorities want us to.

mabel1973 · 01/09/2006 14:34

just to add to what liquid said make sure your DH/DP / birthing partner knows your birth plan and is firm on your behalf about anything you specifically want / don't want - as you may not be in any state to argue with a midwife at the time!

pol26 · 01/09/2006 14:45

Well... the news is that we have had the most almighty row. Feeling even more cheesed off as no matter what I say or how I put it he will not budge and unfortunately for the first time ever he holds the purse strings and I just have to go along with whatever he decides.

Last night when he got back from dropping him mum home, as she had babysat DD (an even she had agreed with me) he said that he had been speaking to his dad (who had said before we had even gone 'I wouldn't even bother looking on x road') he had changed from being 70% sure it was ok to only 30%. He doesn't understand he can't afford to be that snobby! It would mean our children having a room each, which if we go to two beds we are going to have the expense of moving/stress again at some point probably either at school age or soon after. He won't even listen to me which makes me more upset because it's as if i'm a good enough incubator and good enough to have supported him through uni, sell my house, spend my savings and now he just doesn't want to know. Hence the huge row last night and then I had contractions from 11:30pm every 6 mins lasting about 40 seconds all night til about 4am... Joy! I also had a lot of mucus (sorry if tmi!)

Then this morning his mum is on the phone at the crack of bloody dawn asking what HE has decided- not that I actually have to live there too! and he is quiet happily chatting away saying it's a no and we have come to an agreement on that!!! He then starts calling all other schemes he had enrolled in, after having the forms for months and trying to prove to me he is trying to make an effort- yes too bloody late now! I hate creeping at the best of times, let alone when i've been up all night with pains and fretting and i'm so hormonal. Then his dad calls and he's on chatting about he wasn't happy that there was a parade of shops opposite on a side street etc... the school wasn't so great as the one where we are now- but who is to say in three years when DD goes it will be any good then??? And as Liquid clocks said and I said to him we don't have to stay there forever.

Just feeling blooming cross as then he has also trawlled through the paper and looked at houses saying the one we looked at was expensive for the full price etc... Even though we would only have a 50% share- what does he expect for where we live??? What does he honestly expect for a semi with three bed and huge front and rear garden and immaculate inside with three double sized bedrooms??? He won't listen to sense at all and it's driving me mad, i'm the one preg and supposed to be loosing my marbles!

So he then has pointed out all houses in paper for the same money- mainly terreced or end of I might add which is ok but we can't afford anything unless we go to part buy part let which these houses he is suggesting aren't! Our lease runs out in Jan (6th) and theres no promise she won't put the rent up another £50 she has done the past few times again and we honestly can't afford it which he seems to brush over. Also even if we renewed we have to spend out another credit reference fee with the letting agents and it's just money that we might as well throw away.

I am just furious that he thinks- something will come along... nothing does unless you are actively trying, which he never is. DD has been waiting for her first class car seat since last July! and still waiting even though he knows the baby seat and hers won't fit in the car. I have been asking for the moses basket and bouncing chair from the loft so I can wash it all but nothing as yet- how much more of a kick up the back side do you think I need to do?

It'sall very well his family butting in and saying don't live there etc but they aren't chucking their money away. I said to him if your dad is so keen on having a say in where we live and how much we spend out, let him pay the extra rent money and put money into a house for us. It's all very easy for them to comment when they have their nice houses and enough cash to live on.

Sorry ladies i'm just fed up.

Vindy · 01/09/2006 14:46

Don't apologise, Mabel - I know it could be weeks. Phoned DH at work when saw it and he said 'So, we'll have a baby in the next couple of weeks - surely you already knew that what with the massive bump and all!' That has squashed any excitement! Just pointing out that my MW has assumed I'll know everything. How did people survive b4 internet?

Vindy · 01/09/2006 14:50

Sorry - crossed threads.

Living in London is sh*t Pol with the school/house price thing. Seems to me that the 'choice' we have been promised only extends ou're to those who can afford massive mortgages. If it's any consolation I'm sure you're not the only couple rowing about it. You may be hormonal but it doesn't mean you're wrong.

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