June 2014 -Thread 8- 20 week scans, gender reveals... Halfway through!

[GillyBillyWilly]

Jump in the new thread ladies!!!!

Congrats nosey glad it went well

Congratulations nosey! I'm so excited that there is another girl in the group Still over a week until we find out...

lady my DM was constantly trying to stop me feeding with snide comments. Plus actually giving DD a bottle of formula when I was asleep once. I never felt comfortable sleeping again when DM had DD.

Congratulations Nosey that's lovely news
Wasn't your scan today too Riblet?
Mine was fine, the images weren't as clear as last time, but all healthy which is the main thing.
DH got to feel his first kick today, that was a nice moment.
We're not finding out the sex, but we both think its a boy.

That's our last NHS scan now isn't it, anyone else getting private scans between now & due date? Any recommendations for 3D/4D scans?

I might do a 3D one with DD around her birthday so she can see the baby Eliza I went somewhere near Maidstone in Kent last time... Not sure this time!

When I said I hated feeding in public - I def admire those jar do & wish more did. I'd love to have been comfortable doing it, I just wasn't. And yes I agree with whoever said they hate that ppl berate you for being uncomfortable.

For me I ended up so blistered & sore despite no expert being able to find any latch issue - that I was using nipple shields (the only thing that kept me going). Getting them on discreetly was near impossible as my baby would end up throwing them off. Then - I had a near manic Breastfeeding baby he would feed then suddenly throw his head backwards exposing me or kick his legs & wave his arms around whilst feeding meaning no scarf or top etc could possibly stay in the right place. And on top of that I am sensitive to judgemental looks.

I spent much of my 6 months either avoiding leaving the house at the wrong time or hiding in changing rooms etc & a hungry baby is really not happy to wait while you rush to find somewhere to feed them & people really do give some looks if you push a pram with a screaming young baby in it that you're not doing anything about.

The embarrassment type issues I could live with again just not for 6 months but the absolute agony I endured - never again. This baby gets 2 weeks if they're not nice to me after that I will attempt to express enough for a feed a day but Breastfeeding made me miserable and I'm not doing that again.

Please don't feel bad though loads of people love it - my Aunt said she practically had to force herself to wean at an appropriate time because she felt so close and loving when Breastfeeding & she wasn't phased in slightest about whipping everything in to place. I hope as many of you as possible get an experience like that! :)

Congrats Nosey - how exciting

Marlena - I can't believe your DM fed your baby formula behind your back. My DS had an operation when he was little and I found the nurse trying to give him some formula afterwards (which he refused) which I thought was bad enough.

Congrats Nosey how lovely for you.

Eliza - I decided to have a private scan at 29 weeks as you get a check-up scan back home so just felt more comfortable having it; the only one I could find had a 3D/4D element which I could've done without, but I do get another scan DVD which I like!

I'm just going with the local Babybond clinic - while the private consultant I went to for my nuchal scan was ok, their follow up was really bad and they were much more expensive.

Congratulations Nosey how exciting for your house!!

Marlena & Redcliff both of those examples are awful how dare someone give your baby without permission they wouldn't pick one up & start bf them would they?!!! A midwife should definitely have known better too!

I felt a lot of pressure (more my own knowledge) to Breastfeed & was certain I would id never even considered it might be tough. I remember just crying once when he was crying because I just didn't want to feed him & go through the pain & I felt such a failure & guilty. But I also had lots of pressure from people to bottle feed. I really felt like I was a failure whatever I did tbh. I'm hoping I take to it more easily next time.

Has anyone who's had 2 already found Breastfeeding has been easier with the second? I'm really hoping it is as deep down I would really like to be able to do it to 6 months again

I've got my gender scan tomorrow and I'm really nervous they're going to tell me something's seriously wrong. I know it's silly but I just want it over with now so I can relax & obviously be excited about whichever it is!!

redcliff she was allergic to dairy too although not diagnosed at that point so no doubt it didn't make her feel good either. Just an example of why DM did not help my mental health when DD was a baby but she can't understand why I think that.

Welcome Mrs Bon and congrats on your girl Nosey

Glad to hear your scan went well Eliza and yes, ours was yesterday as well. All well for both of them, one wouldn't keep still and one was lazy and wouldn't move which was a pain when she wanted it to roll over to look at the spine, as she kept jabbing me with the scanner to try and get it to move! All measurements were right for age and due date still the same but the MW said something about induction if we got to 37 weeks so has put 21st May on my MATB1 - I should've paid more attention (there was a long wait and we had to get back to work so were rushing a bit) and got her to put the proper due date on for ML purposes, but since I'm still planning to go at 32 weeks I suppose it doesn't really make any difference, except that I'll need to get the form in earlier. As for induction etc, I thought that was more for identicals as higher risk but I'll find out more next time- it wasn't our usual MW and I think we saw this one as it was so busy, so hopefully we'll get our own next time as I much prefer her.

I mentioned this on FB yesterday but if anyone's not on it, I was wondering if anyone had any experience or advice of taking newborns to a wedding? One of my best friends has just got engaged and is already planning the wedding for this August. If she wasn't such a close friend I think I'd probably decide it was more trouble than it's worth but I'd really like to go. Has anyone taken young babies with them, or had someone look after them and pop back to feed them? Need to check if babies are invited first but thinking about the best way of doing things

Good luck to all having scans today - Bumble, you will be fine!

Bumble - I have the same feeling before every scan and always say to my DP "lets not go" (I always go if course) let us know how you get on.

Marlena - mums can be like that sometimes. Mines a trained psychotherapist and can still drive me and my brother mad. Not to your extent - she didn't really get breast feeding but didn't really say anything about it.

Congrats nosey that's lovely news.

Good luck to those with scans today, 10 days and counting until ours

Riblet I didn't have any kids at my wedding, purely because we would have 52 if they all came! But two of my friends had newborns at the time so I said they could bring them as I really wanted them to come and enjoy the day as was aware they were both first time mums and breastfeeding, as they are a newborn they will not need a 'space' at the table so it shouldn't be a problem as they can be in a pram or car seat at the dinner. I'm sure if you speak to your friend she would understand. They were really good and slept most of the time, the Dad's took them out to another room a few times when they were a bit grisly but to be honest it didn't make a difference to me with them there, I was glad my friends could come to the wedding. I think you would feel more comfortable taking the baby with you as you can feed when needed and won't have to worry about having to go home and feed.

Ladies do you know if we are going to have anymore scans after 20 weeks scan?

I took DS to a wedding when he was about 8 weeks (I think!) and it was fine. He was still at an age where he would either lie in the pram or just be held... (more the latter!) so we did have to do a bit of passing him between DP and I while we ate but there were a few other children there so didn't feel like a burden. It was a bit tricky finding somewhere to breastfeed other than sitting on the toilet.. nice! But that may/may not be relevant. They aren't too much trouble at the age so I certainly wouldn't rule it out. Even at a no-children wedding tiny babies are often allowed because they don't require a seat.

Don't know if this is true of all babies but DS seemed to be able to sleep through a ridiculous amount of noise at that age so in the end he fell asleep in his pram while DP and I had a bit of a dance which was lovely!

mylittlel no scans after 20 weeks on the NHS unless there is an issue!

Oh, one more note about breastfeeding/feeding choices that occured to me yesterday - I think my biggest problem is that it is a continuation of people trying to take over decisions about what you do with your body, after 9 months of pregnancy.

I mentioned to my mom yesterday that we had to start organising her 60th birthday bash and jokingly said how I love a buffet - and she immediately said "But no gassy foods!". I was like, excuse me?

"Well, if you're going to be breastfeeding you can't eat things that would bother baby!"

As if I need to give her one more reason of trying to control what I eat....

On the plus side you need extra calories when breastfeeding! I lost lots of weight in spite of craving chocolate icecream/chocolate milkshakes etc etc. I did not eat as well as I could have done when bfeeding but that was definitely a perk :)

I was very unsure about whether it was something I wanted to do while I was pregnant but once DS was here, even though a lot of the time I didn't enjoy I just couldn't/wouldn't give it up. I think I rather fixated on doing 'well' at breastfeeding because I 'hadn't done well' at birthing him. Which is ridiculous obviously but birth/babies/hormones do weird stuff to your head!

On some occasions, feeding him also gave me the biggest sense of well-being that I have ever had- it was both the most special and also the most claustrophobic experience of my life!

I doubt I'm alone in having a somewhat complicated relationship with bfing :) but I am hoping I'm a bit more chilled this time round as I was a little erm, 'intense' when DS was a newborn!!

Totally agree nosey I found it great in so many ways but awful in so many others! I hated never being able to escape without dh declaring DD was hungry (ie she is crying and I CBA to figure out why so I will hand her to you for feeding!) but also loved that despite all the things going on only I could feed her and these enormous breasts I have hated my whole life actually had a really wonderful purpose finally! Complex indeed.

mylittle I have a growth scan booked in at 34weeks. Consultant mentioned it, as there may be a little too much of "me" when mw measures with a tape measure, and so they'll do a scan to check baby is growing ok.
Almost a polite way of referring to my belly. Almost!

jaykay sonographer wrote that im above average when tried to measure baby on a dating scan (i was shocked), but told me that baby was too small (2 completely opposite things), so i wont be surprised if they say something like this to me)

Great to see the wedding stories today. We also have a summer wedding to go to (I guess lots of us will, it is the season!) and wondering how it will be with a six week old. We will also have to fly there... My sister flew with her three day old baby so I'm not too concerned about this bit!