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Connect with mums-to-be with similar due dates to share experiences and support.

October 2013: The Fourth Trimester - the bit no one warns you about!

999 replies

roxvox · 27/10/2013 16:24

Stats sheet here

New arrivals here

Key:
SC - still cooking (pre EDD)
SFW - still f*ing waiting (post EDD)
OWT - on way to theatre (CS)
IP - induction in progress
SWIL - somewhere in labour
LIT - lost in transition

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
pinkbuttons · 28/10/2013 08:16

Sounds manic but also lovely 3blondies hope you managed to get some rest.

bridget sending you hugs, I have no wise words but it really sounds like youve done everything you could and you really need to look after yourself now.

dilating vibes to all SFW...

any more storm babies??

with regards to sleeping, Isla is now 17 days, last week midwife told me I shouldnt let her sleep for more than 6 hours at night even though shes gaining weight but have been having to wake her up. wondered if anyone knew at what stage I can just leave her be? all a bit odd for me to have a baby that sleeps.

Sanjifair · 28/10/2013 08:28

Hello everyone. Eloise Laura born at 4:05AM Sunday 27th October weighing 8 lb 13 oz.
Once I finally got a room, the induction went very well.
The registrar came to break my waters. However nothing seemed to happen. He was disappointed in himself, said it hurt his professional pride. He started talking about ELCS. Anyway, after he left the room a little trickle started and then a stream, so he had actually done it.

I then had to make the pain relief decision. You all know what had happened to me over the preceding 4 days, and I was an emotional mess. I didn't think I was in the right place to try a syncotonin induction with a back to back baby. So with some regrets I asked for an epidural.

The anaesthetist came and did the local anaesthetic and put in the needle but no drugs, at which point I got a big electric shock in my leg (normal, and I was pre-warned). However, I then fainted! While they were reviving me from the fainting, the anaesthetist had to go to an emergency in theatre. Midwife suggested getting the drip going, and see how it went. I thought this might be fate telling me to give it a go, so I said yes.
So started on drip about 9:15pm. Things went fine and contractions started slowly. I was coping just with breathing exercises. When the anaesthetist came back 3 hours later I told him I no longer wanted the epidural.
Went onto gas and air at about 1 am BST, and was coping OK. Midwife said that counted as going into established labour. At 3 am she checked me, and I was only 2-3 cm. I was so disappointed and felt like a right wimp as it was feeling pretty tough. This really dented my confidence. My midwife went for her break and at 3:30 I was finding the pain terrible, and the idea that I was only 3 cm and probably had more than 6h of this to go was unbearable, so I asked for an epidural. The anaesthetist was in theatre so not available. Midwife suggested pethidine to tide me over. I said yes, but it only really just took the edge off the pain. Some more waters came and the pain and pressure moved downwards. My midwife came back and told me to open my legs and push. I was like 'what, but I am only 3 cm?' She said 'no, the baby is coming'. So I gave a few pushes, but kept trying to close my legs (!), so she put me in stirrups. Pushed and pushed, and she told me I needed an episiotomy or I would tear. Then she said she didnt have the local anathaetic to hand. Then the next push the baby's head came anyway! All the rest of her with a gentle push and I had my baby in my arms. She looked so much like my DS that I assumed another boy and didn't check for a while. Was then amazed to have a little girl! My intuition clearly sucks, as do all the old wives tales re bump shape and heart rate etc! So happy.
I delivered the placenta reasonably quickly, then had to be stitched for a second degree tear.

All fine with Eloise, APGAR score of 8 as she took a little while to breathe as the cord was quite tight round her neck. Nothing too scary though.

So mother and baby doing well, I had an epidural free birth and am very happy about it. Only regret was having the pethidine. If the midwife had checked me before I had taken it I would have found out I was already 10 cm and I then would have just gone with it - it was the idea of hours more of that level of pain which made me want it. However, as Eloise was here so quickly after it was administered it didn't affect her in any way, so it was all fine anyway.

We are still in hospital, but breast feeding now established, so will be leaving today.

Thank you all for your support while I was on my hellish wait, it meant a lot to me. The midwives strongly recommended I complain via PALS. They themselves believe that they are chronically and dangerously understaffed. I will certainly be complaining when I have recovered.

rubytwosday · 28/10/2013 08:50

Congratulations 3Bs! I hope Sanji is ok - have we heard from her since she got a labour room? Ooh and Imp? Feeling pretty crappy after very little sleep. A is very squirmy and uncomfortable after feeding and it takes ages to settle her - she just seems miserable and that makes me so sad. Everyone keeps saying "enjoy her" but she doesn't seem to be enjoying life. She is mega cute and when ever we have visited people she has been cuddled and seemed relaxed but at home it seems to be a constant battle to settle her then, when she eventually sleeps for a bit, a mad rush to try and get other things done. I honestly didn't believe mothers who said they didn't have time to shower or brush their hair with a newborn - I haven't had a shower since Friday, have had biscuits for breakfast most days and haven't hoovered in 2 weeks. How am I meant to have time to enjoy her? Sorry for the woe is me post - I know I am very lucky to have my baby, I just hate feeling that she is miserable and that I am not doing a good job.

rubytwosday · 28/10/2013 08:55

Crossed posts Sanji! Congratulations - so glad you now have little Eloise after such a horrid time in hospital.

roxvox · 28/10/2013 09:29

ruby we have a velcro baby. DH makes me breakfast every day, but if I needed to make my own then I would pop her in a sling to make it as I have done when I have wanted to make lunch or do a chore (do the washing or empty the dishwasher etc). Yesterday DH and I cleaned the house through for the first time since A was born. We waited until after she'd had a feed (so was a bit sleepy) and then popped her in a sling that DH wore whilst he hoovered. I did all of the dusting/the bathrooms. It went fine and she seems to like the white noise of the hoover Smile

sanji I've said it on FB already, but congratulations! It was lovely to read your birth story, and whilst you might be regretful at having the pethidine, it's lovely to think that you didn't have the epidural!

No sign of clapham yet this morning. I have my fingers crossed that she's SWIL!

OP posts:
roxvox · 28/10/2013 09:32

Oh! And I had a fussy baby last night too. She cluster feeds every evening, so that wasn't new, but then she refused to settle unless she was being held upright. As soon as I lay her down (next to me, or on me) she started crying. Then I'd sit up with her and she'd settle in seconds. Took me ages very slowly changing her angle from vertical to horizontal to get her to lie down next to me, but it worked in the end!

OP posts:
apperleydapperley · 28/10/2013 09:57

morning. congrats again sanji glad it (sort of) went to plan in the end! enjoy your well deserved bundle!

very Envy of those with babies that sleep 4+ hours at night. We are still on 2-3 hour feeding at night (on demand) but T slept for pretty much all of yesterday, just waking for food then going back to sleep again, which meant he decided that it was time to wake up (all) last night. He wasn't unhappy, but wanted to be awake and seemed to be looking for company and whinging when i tried to put him in basket and turn light off...Hmm yawn.

bridget sorry you're feeling rubbish about the feeding, but as everyone else has said, you need to do what works for you and you have tried so don't beat yourself up about it. Thanks

forgotten what everyone else said, but Cake and Brew to all x

apperleydapperley · 28/10/2013 09:58

i will update the spreadsheet now...

Sephy · 28/10/2013 10:01

Really wish I'd heard about the cooled boiled water for eyes sooner - she woke up this morning with a crusty yellow eye :-( Midwife helpline said to wash it with cooled boiled water today but if it gets worse or turns green or is still there in two days I need to take her to paediatric A and E. really hope she's alright.

And on other topics, for those bfing, do most people just stop once the baby unlatches? For my LO, that would generally mean she's fallen asleep. I tend to take her off and burp her and then get her back on the same breast except at night when she's generally not interested in a second go, and I feel like we all need some sleep.

apperleydapperley · 28/10/2013 10:09

sephy i was told that if they have a crusty eye try expressing a few drops of breastmilk and gently wiping bad eye with it - it should help clear it.

cazboldy · 28/10/2013 10:09

Off to hospital in a bit. I think she looks a bit less yellow so fingers crossed! Will catch up later x

MrsHoratioNelson · 28/10/2013 10:10

Sephy that's what I do - if he's unlatched he's almost never interested in more.

Flyer747 · 28/10/2013 10:18

Health visitor just been in 5 days Alexandra has gained 30g so still under what they want. I'm now being closely monitored every 2 days for weight gain and am being referred to the infant feeding team at the hospital. I could cry Hmm

Sephy · 28/10/2013 10:40

Thanks. Sorry to hear that Flyer - hope they're helpful at least.

I'll give the milk in the eye a go - dies it still work when it's not colostrum any more?

OrangeBlossom2 · 28/10/2013 10:47

Thanks apperly for doing the spreadsheet.

Good luck Caz.

Well done sanji, sounds like you did amazingly. I know what you mean about the pethadine, I regret it too and only had it because I was "4cm" and couldn't face another 6-12 hours, but was actually 9cm. But good that things worked out to stop you having the epidural if you would have regretted that and it sounds like the right choice for you after all you had been through.

Thanks flyer. She is going in the right direction. I hope the infant feeding team is helpful and not just more stress for you. She was quite a big baby to start with wasn't she? I wonder if part if it is finding her natural level...?

claphammama · 28/10/2013 10:50

Congrats sanji! And glad you can go home today. Glad you managed to have epidural free birth after all - admire you after all the stress leading to your induction... But I bet it made it much quicker and you had less intervention than you would have had otherwise. I know from experience how hellish the drip contractions are...

And glad you had a good first night with your little boy blondies - looking forward to the name :-)

Also hope imp is progressing nicely - no updates from her so must be SWIL!

Unfortunately, I'm still here and as far from labour as I can be... 40+6 today, no signs at all and I'm gradually mentally preparing myself for an induction in a few days... Completely dreading it... And very upset with mg body that it doesn't go into spontaneous labour. I'm too depressed now to post, go on FB or even watch a film and read a book. Nothing distracts me anymore. DP working from home to keep me company...

Is everyone OK after the storm by the way? It was vicious in central London around 6-7am so I can only imagine how bad it must have been outside London... Hope you are OK and sorry so many of you are having problems with feeding and babies not putting on enough weight. I never had this problem with DS as he actually put on 50g 3 days after being born but I know it was super unusual. So i'm afraid I have no advice to share on this front. However, as far as I can remember, all my NCT friends had the same problems you have with midwives making them feel inadequate and worried. I honestly doubt so many women got it wrong and so many babies are in danger... Just using common sense, a lot of it must be overreaction... And babies are little people, not robots. Hope they are off your backs soon! X

Mnippy · 28/10/2013 10:54

Congrats new mums! So so glad it turned out well in the end Sanji.

Bridget, so so much sympathy here. Feel free to indulge in all your feelings - it helped me to remember that they are about me - baby is fine with ff.

I am also struggling with the fact that MnipJnr gets angry and frustrated with my rapidly emptying breasts, takes less and less time on them and roots like hell until he gets formula. It's a vicious cycle. I feel like trying to increase production is like swimming against a very strong tide. I just don't have the strength to express regularly or through the night, feeding and burping takes 1 hour without expressing.

Wickedgirl · 28/10/2013 10:56

Sephy.......Amelie had a crusty eye. I did one drop of breast milk into it and wiped away the excess. For the rest of the day, I wiped her eye with cooled boiled water. The next day the eye was clear again.
Feeding, I do the same as you. Once she comes off, I wind her and offer the same breast again. Sometimes she has a little more but mostly she is too sleepy by then and isn't interested. She is 2 weeks old today.

Health visitor is coming today for weighing. The midwife discharged us last Thursday (day 10) even though Amelie had only put on 1oz in 5days (she dropped 6oz in days 0 - 5). So she was still 5oz lighter than her birth weight. I really hope she has put on a decent amount of weight especially since she is no longer projectile vomiting!

Smitten1981 · 28/10/2013 11:21

Clapham, I'm the same. Still no bloody signs at all and woke up at 2:30 this morning worrying about being induced and them making me stay on a hospital ward without DH there. I get really anxious and claustrophobic in hospitals even if I'm just visiting so this is really filling me with dread.

I was told an induction will be booked if he's still not here by my next midwife appt on Wednesday. Sniffle. He's cutting it a bit fine now really.

Also I have the worst pelvis pain, it's so stiff and achey. It's all really depressing me. And to top it all off I'm so bored I don't know what to do with myself, I can't even take the dog for a walk now as it's too painful to walk far.

Sorry for the moany post.

Oh, also I wanted to ask how the pets have been with the babies. Have those of you who have dogs had any problems?

claphammama · 28/10/2013 11:26

my midwife appointment is on Wednesday too for my first sweep (have you already had one?) and to book for induction if it doesn't work. I'm losing hope now... I couldn't have the birth I wanted last time and now again things don't work out for me...

Smitten1981 · 28/10/2013 11:36

I haven't had a sweep yet but hoping she'll do one on Wednesday and it will kick things off, she didn't mention doing one at the last appointment though, I hope it's not left to me to bring up yet again. My antenatal care has been so crap. It would be nice to know if any of the pain I've been having is actually doing anything at all to be honest. Probably not though.

I'm so uncomfortable Hmm

Back to moping while shuffling about the house. I've decided if I am induced to just have an epidural from the start too. Not putting up with pain for a birth I really didn't want to have.

Pinkforboys · 28/10/2013 11:42

clapham/smitten my sympathies are with you. The last few days are miserable especially when you don't feel mobile enough to do all those things people say you should with this time to yourself. Nothing I can say to make it any better or faster for you. I just hope the funny pains you're getting now are a sign that your babies are moving south and planning their escape...

I was wondering how pets were reacting too. Willow (our cat) occasionally gives me that dagger stare as if saying 'how dare you cheat on me with that strange looking creature'. She's taken to sleeping at the end of our bed now that DH isn't there to kick her off in his sleep, but disappears in disgust if Thea squeals too loudly.
How are everyone elses pets coping?

I still think half your MWs should be shot for stressing you out so much. pseudo i feel the same way as you- far more confident second time round. Babies are far more hardy than they look. Second time round this one is having to cry and amuse herself on her own more than DS had to- as no-one else is offering to do the household chores.

For those in need of a few mins peace- have you tried a mobile in the cot for entertainment? THe Tiny Love Symphony one (that I've mentioned before) is a godsend as it entertains with music and b&w patterns for 20mins. Enough time for a shower....Grin

Sephy · 28/10/2013 11:55

Thank you wicked, that all sounds very reassuring

Shirehobbit · 28/10/2013 12:03

I was one of those a bit anxious about how our rescue hound would react to the new arrival, but he has exceeded all our hopes and been so accommodating of the noisy, demanding new being. There was a moment, somewhere around day 3-5, when he gave me such a look, a real heart-wrenching stare, that seemed to say, "oh, so this is really staying, then?" followed by the deepest sigh...
But he is my other constant companion, sleeping by me (or on my feet) while I feed. He gets a bit antsy if he feels he's missed out on a walk, or we're later going out than he deems acceptable Wink and he's also become more vocal/defensive with people coming to the door - so I'm keeping a close eye on that.
But, bearing in mind we have no idea what his history is, or why a beautiful dog that had clearly been a family pet at some point had been thrown out of the house and starved, our worst fears were that maybe he'd reacted badly to a new arrival in that family. But it's going better than we could have hoped Grin

MrsHoratioNelson · 28/10/2013 12:14

Well, DH's first day back at work and C is fed - overfed in fact, greedy bugger - and I'm showered and dressed of sorts. Loose pyjama trousers that I didn't wear to bed counts as dressed, right?! Grin

We also dealt with our first projectile vomit incident at about 5:30 this morning - I sat C up to wind him and what looked like the entire feed came straight back up again all over the duvet and matteess. Off to google waterproof covers for the bed. Any recommendations?