October 2013: The Fourth Trimester - the bit no one warns you about!

[roxvox]

Stats sheet here

New arrivals here

Key:
SC - still cooking (pre EDD)
SFW - still f*ing waiting (post EDD)
OWT - on way to theatre (CS)
IP - induction in progress
SWIL - somewhere in labour
LIT - lost in transition

Nat I am also in a mood with DH so .

Our DD doesn't cope with clock change so, as per every other clock change, she probably will be up between 4 and 5 tomorrow morning being very tearful and screaming at everything. Knowing that I am going to have a hellish morning as well as through the night feeds and have 2.5yr old DS to entertain all day he is away to bed leaving me to do late feed. His reason is he is working tomorrow. He sits on his bum in an office drawing on a computer, not exactly taxing.... Jelly is not amused

Sorry for the moan, just need to vent somewhere

Sorry jelly. Could you ask / tell him to do feed??

I really feel like saying "tell the midwife to fuck off"

Does your baby wake for feeds? Are they gaining weight? Are they alert?
Mw told me to give 3oz top ups every feed. I didn't. However on DH insistence I did give 2 top ups a day. Despite ignoring mw advice he put on weight.
I really feel that mw want to discharge you ASAP so you are no longer under hospitals care.

If your baby is waking for feeds every 3 hours stick with it. Don't shorten/lengthen the time.
Orange moving to 4hour will effect your supply. If lo naturally moves to a 4hour feed then its ok.
I was also scared of introducing a bottle, however seems to be working for us and makes giving expressed milk alot easier.

Hmm my post seems a bit harsh. But to tiered to re word. Meant with best intentions.

Oh and for tieredness orange can u just take to your bed. Enjoy baby cuddles and have dh bring you food? If he is at work , have food in your room? Pack lunch style?
Or if dh is off work (or at weekend) get dh to look after lo and you sleep. Lo is bought to you for feeding and then taken away so you can sleep.

Right better get ready for bed before nxt feed

Know what you mean about the emotional thing - every now and again I just get a bit overwhelmed... More the amazingness than problems necessarily, but Dh is suffering a bit - ds has, today, cried every time he holds him. I've left them a few times as it's important, but mainly he's only soothed when I've returned. I know it doesn't mean anything, but I really feel for him

Checking in too!

Mrs HN same here never would have thought of the pressure. Finally got him to sleep not looking forward to waking him for his next feed.

pink I've definitely experienced mixed messages and pressure to meet targets by the community midwifes. I think it was mainly one lady abut it then has made me sensitive to the process. Their priority has to be the baby but they should be at some recognition that it's an emotional process. There is one phone call that still upsets me when I think about it I don't feel they have always been supportive of bf but made it feel like an assessment process. The breastfeeding clinic I went to which isn't run by midwives (but was recommended by them) was great.

Hello ladies, sorry I haven't posted in so long - been totally absorbed in a bubble of breast-feeding hell for the past fortnight.

Tried everything to make it work - Tongue-tie snip, baby cafe, midwives, health visitor, NCT and hospital feeding team. We just can't get the latch 'right' and my nipples are now so mangled I can't bear the prospect of another feed.

The decision has been made to move over to formula but I feel utterly wretched and have spent the whole day tears. I was so determined not to fail again, but that's exactly what's happened.

Any tips on how to cope with the disappointment and the physical side of things (I'm trying to express and gradually reduce my supply) would be much appreciated..

Sorry for the me, me, me post - my head's a mess tonight. DP says he supports my decision but I feel so desperately alone. Wish I could go back in time to when I was still
pregnant and all my plans were still in tact.

bridget I don't have any advice but rest assured you're doing the right thing and have given bf a good shot. You should not feel guilty. Remember, happy mum = happy baby.

You have tried so hard Bridget.
I think expressing to reduce supply is good. Gradually reduce time or drop sessions.

But tbh in terms of stopping bf the emotional side is so complicated.
Last time it didn't work for me. And I was disappointed but glad I didn't have to do it any more. I secretly liked I could give the baby to someone else. I was pleased dh could do the 3am feed. But I felt guilty for feeling this was.
This time Bf has been tough. But worked. At times I've thought ff was easier and I should jack it in.
And an very confused about how I feel about it. Despite wanting to get it right this time and it all working still wanting to give up.

More and more I'm thinking , however your baby is fed is fine. As long as he is fed. Being sore all the time n dreading feeds getting stressed is not the way to enjoy your lovely new baby.

Sry for mish mash thoughts.

Oh dear that my 2nd rambled post tonight. Sleep deprivation I think.

Going to watch breaking bad instead of MN. Lol

orange I agree with GT I wouldn't worry about top ups if baby putting on weight. Also if you want to up supply don't move to 4 hourly feeds......feed as much as possible. How old is lo? If still less than 6 weeks I would demand feed as its a bit early for routines.
mrso I would use boiled water for the eye.
I hate clock changes, ds was up at 5 today and probably will be tomorrow. I did corn to bed at 8 and have had three hours sleep....hoping that's not all I get!
Good luck imp

Thanks all for your support and advice. he is 11 days old, loads of wet and pooey nappies, looking well.

It all feels like it has been taken out of my control and isn't up to me. I had planned normal on demand breast feeing.

Thinking about it I am surprised how quickly we were moved to syringe feeding in hospital (our first skin to skin hour only resulted in 5 minutes on off feeding so we did it straight away in the delivery room).
He lost 11% birth weight, found latching tricky and and was a bit jaundiced which led to more intervention.

Thomas wasn't/isn't waking for feeds (he maybe has never had the chance, starting off on a 2 hourly routine?) but he is now starting to show hunger signs in the day at least. I don't feel happy about 4 hours, I am going to do it at night as I am struggling with the sleep but with extra every time he shows he is hungry in the day and maybe some extra pumping to keep supply where it is too.

GT my DH is being amazing, I am just knackered.

No advice but Bridget.

Bronze I was only really joking about the atmospheric pressure, but you're the third person to have said they've had a really fussy baby today, so maybe there is something in it after all.

Hello everyone!!!
Lurking but not good at writing with one hand!!!
Ds is also an Velcro baby and latch issometimes very tricky!
My fx to all sfw and those struggling like me!

I was always told to clean face with boiled cool water

Please can someone updatey details???
Notsoold
Joseph
18/10/13
39 weeks
7 lb 11oz

Clapham...hope you are ok!!!
Nat sometimes we have to spell it out with dps... They are easily able to blank things out!!! Xx

Take care girls and now it is time to feed the boy again!!!
Xx

Has anyone else's LO decided that sleep is for the weak?
Charlie's decided that perfecting his pterodactyl screech is far more interesting than feeding, sleeping etc. Bet my neighbours are loving me right now!

Could someone add me too?

Thomas John
Boy
17th October
39+4
7lb 1oz

Sigh. Listening to DH, who said he was "happy" to dont he nappy change, getting cross with C :(

I wish he wouldn't.

Dh and Harrison have redeemed themselves I out him down at 10.30 and he drunk 3.5oz and I just woke up to dh feeding him he slept all that time :-0. I'll have more if he carries on like that lol

nat very jealous. my baby H has been up all night eating random amounts every few hours!! He's got a snotty nose so maybe that's why!!?!

Orange I think your plan to stick to 3 hour feeds is fine. And 4 hours at night to sleep will help you rest.
Ps I was told lo would drink however much I gave him in the top up. And not to take it as an indication of how much milk I'm making.

An alternative to 90ml every feed might be 60ml, as he is only very slightly under the daily target weight. Also when he hits birth weight wean off the top ups. That's what I did. N now we have been formula free for a week. With my expressed milk replacing a feed here n there so i can rest.

Nat that's a great stretch of sleep. Wonder if your lo will be the first one to sleep thro the night! Think 10.30 to 5 is pretty much there!

C woke every 2 hours last night

Nat - sleeping through at this age is defined as a 5 hour stretch :o

Well done nat and H on long sleep

to bridget. Soo sorry you're upset you tried everything and at the end of the day lo needs to be fed and you need to keep sane! Xxx

for you orange

I HATE clock change!!!!!

Hope you all survived the storm.

JellyBaby fed last night at 7, tried to dream feed him at 10.30 but he refused and he never woke till 2am - 7.5 hours very good just wish I hadn't stayed awake for last feed now. Oh well we live and learn

Can't remember who is switching to ff but hope you get a sense of emotional relief now a decision has been made, I know I did. As for dealing with milk drying up I would advise expressing and reducing this by a small amout everyday. As for engorgement pain wear a tight fitting bra like a sports bra of even 2 bras for super support. Painkillers for when pain gets too much and if really bad express a little off. Engorgement will last 48 to 72 hours

Amelie slept for 6 hours at night when she was just a few days old however, very young babies shouldn't be going that long without food. I am now waking her up after 4 hours at night to ensure she is getting plenty of food into her tiny stomach. I will do this until she is at least a month old.

Morning ladies, had an "interesting" first night with baby and a howling storm outside! He (still feels strange putting that!) is feeding well and plenty of pooy nappies but needs to be upright for quite a while after a feed or is sick, had a few full outfit strips! DD's are besotted DD2 especially, goes through every part of him, eyes, cheeks, nose, every finger etc saying how cute and how much she loves them The storm meant quite a bit of bed hopping/swapping DD1 ended up in with me but wearing ear muffs as baby was crying! lol!

Am expecting hectic day today, visitors and a trip to hospital as couldn't be discharged properly by pead team as they were too busy yesterday, wanted to get home so thought the compromise of going back today was worth it.

Looked down under with mirror last night, piles the size of grapes appear to be the source of my discomfort so will send my mum for supplies today! Right need to move got a baby wedged under my armpit a 4yr old diagonal on top of covers and 8yr kind of length ways under duvet at bottom of bed, guess DH is in one of their beds!

Bridget go with your gut instinct with regards to feeding totally believe happy baby = happy mum

clapham fingers crossed things start for u soon, xx

Can't remember who else I was going to respond to about what, I'll check back later xx