Martians 2014, thread 13. Who will win, team pink or team blue?

[LyraSilvertongue]

New thread, hoes!

ps I've got a 'dead leg' thing going on in my right leg had it all day...what's going on? Also bump has suddenly expanded and already feeling waddley. Feel so fucking ancient and decrepit wah etc

Oh had my 20 week scan and I am team yellow. I have a healthy baby but he or she kept her legs crossed tight!

Happy birthday apprentice!

Yes my birthday wasn't too rock and roll this year either! Hope you had fun tho

Congrats panto! Another for team yellow!

Congrats panto!

Evening ladies!

I'm being a bit dull tonight trying to work out which energy company to switch to, in my drive to save us money. Can anyone recommend any?

Had an accident earlier in my new car as when reversing out of car=park, man also did same in his car and we bumped. His car sustained no damage whilst I have damage to rear of mine, I think from his tow-bar. We seems to be being hit by run of bad luck that involves us losing out money-wise... sigh! Anyway hoping it will all be sorted asap via insurance, but still want to wail "But it's my new car!" Burpy and I are both fine, so trying to stay positive about that.

Burpy is very wriggly at mo, loving feeling Burpy moving around more and more. Yesterday I think Burpy was kicking with feet and smacking me with hands as could feel movement in 2 different places, as could my friend when she put her hand on to have a feel!

On the not such fun front, my body seems to have given up on bladder control when am having a coughing fit, so have resorted to wearing pads. I have always struggled to do the exercises, as never been highly sure if doing the technique is right. Just hoping cough clears off asap, as hating leaking when coughing and it's making me really paranoid that I smell or will have an obvious wet patch.

Happy birthday apprentice and great scan news panto.

I'm so frickin cold and we have had a terrible night with ds up 3 times with nose bleeds. After 4 hours in hospital yesterday and an hour journey each way that was not what we needed!

bionic sorry to hear about your car. Hope you get it sorted soon.

Exciting to feel the baby tho!

Oh, really hard to get up this morning!

Morning all, hope you're all keeping well.

Had my first Lazy Daisy birthing class last night and it was fab! Lots of useful advice on breathing techniques and positions to use to help shift baby into the best position for your comfort, and for birth. I highly recommend the classes if anyone hasn't booked an antenatal class yet.

Turnip has stepped up a gear with the kicking and wriggling so there's no doubt there's someone in there!

Belated happy birthday apprentice

Is anyone keeping score on Team Yellow v Blue v Pink?

Happy birthday apprentice

Well I feel poop :( the one day I leave my phone in my car, I go back to it to find 2 missed calls from my friend (old friend, grew up together) - try to call her back but no answer, don't think anything of it. Get to my mums house to drop something off - friend has been there in tears as she's just been told her mother (who lives miles away) has cancer :(

I feel so bad I missed her call, the one time she needed me! She's having such a shit week, her DH is being a 'wankbadger', and she didn't get the promotion she was promised at work.

I'm half tempted to blame morning sickness and go home to see her. :(

Morning everyone - wasn't feeling great last night but after a much needed lie in (yay for being own boss, it does have some perks!) I feel slightly more human.

Stressy work phone calls coming in already so I will definitely have to leave the confines of my warm bed at some point and go and deal with everyone's shit in the office!

With regards to floatyflo about "not wanting to need" certain medical interventions etc.. I agree with that to an extent - with things like forceps and EMCS no one wants to need those things but if you do... then you DO and there's not much you can do about them if you have a medical need or you or your baby is in danger.

But when it comes to epidurals I think some people go in to hospital to give birth and things like pain relief are on their mind as something they actively want from the get go (gimme all the drugs!) whereas what I was trying to explain is that without wanting to try to be a superhero or to belittle anyone else's choices - I am going in with the attitude of not wanting the pain relief and going it on my own steam (for the reasons I stated - main one being I want to be in the MLU not the delivery suite)

In other news... my Mum has been to visit her cousin and has brought me back a LOAD of baby stuff - steriliser, monitor, bouncy chair, baby gym, clothes, bath, door frame bounder harness. So I have gone from having nothing to have nearly everything now - YAY!

I'm exactly the same as you mrsK. I hate that 'out of it' feeling that you get with strong painkillers, they make me feel sick. And the thought of an Epidural is a lot scarier to me than labour is. So my pain relief options are going to be limited to water & tens I think.

Everyone I've spoken to IRL seems to thinks epidurals are an essential and no one on here wants one. It's quite the contrast!

Owl, I smiled when I read that you are enjoying this pregnancy, that is so good top hear after the unthinkable stuff you have been through. You must be massively strong. I am seriously considering demanding that you lot decide where I give birth. Please help me. I can't make this decision alone. Despite being fully informed I don't think I can make this decision

Floaty, I don't mind being reported as long as the reporter has the decency to tackle me personally about how I've upset them. Does anyone know why my latest deletion occurred? I honestly don't remember writing owt upsetting. Perhaps I should hire an Amish ghostwriter or summat

Foxy, I am glad you like 'zeitgeist'. Did you miss Schadenfreude t'other day? I love words but am wary of coming across as a word wanker like the marvellous Russell Brand. How many times can that man use 'parameter' and 'paradigm'?

Imeg, I hope you get the birth you want. It hardly seems significant that your baby will be born with its condition in terms of where you birth.

Rock, I have read about women who suffer lasting trauma from their birth but I honestly don't get that (unless, of course, something tragic occurred). I don't care if I am given umpteen internals, sweeps, stuffed with drugs or screamed at to push. My vision of birth largely involves excruciating pain for up to 30 hours, midwives changing shifts, me screaming for pain relief and then a baby coming out. The rest is just nice stuff you can tell your friends about. My feeling is that women lie romanticise or exaggerate the details of their births anyway

Fox yep haha!

hotcrosspun I'm leaning towards water at the moment too - the only thing is that I don't want to get my heart too set on it because there aren't pools in every room at the MLU and I don't want to feel disappointed if I can't use a pool.

What's everyone's thoughts on birthing partners? Ever since I can remember my Mum has been super keen to be present at the birth and I always said yes without too much thought. But now it's actually happening I'm less and less enthusiastic about her being there because I feel its quite an intimate thing between us as a couple. MY DH wants it to just be the two of us, but I don't want to make my Mum feel bad. Think I'm just going to wait until the time

My philosophy on birth is yes, I want to have a nice experience and do it as naturally as possible, but if I feel I can't cope or need extra help then so be it. As long as both me and the baby are safe and healthy the method of delivery is a mere minor detail.

As someone once said to me, you don't get a medal for delivering a baby without pain relief so if you think you need it, have it!

Yes, BionicEar! Yes! I can tell you the cheapest energy company around.... it is M&S. Yes...! M&S! (summat to do with Scottish & National). My gas man came t'other day to officiate over our new house's appliances and he himself has just switched to M&S because they are the cheapest. He was very impressed and bored me to death with the details. P.s...have you had your new cochlear implant fitted yet? Is it great? OR DO I STILL NEED TO SHOUT??

Happy Birthday, Apprentice! I've been thinking abut you. A few weeks back you were toying with the notion that you and your husband weren't going to make it. How are you both now? How is the counselling? How is your job situation? Here, have these: They are from down by the canal near my new house.

I'm sorry for cluster posting but I'm catching up again as I'm at mum's.

Good luck today, Foxy & Jolls. Congratulations, Pantomine. I'm team yellow, too.

Can I share my fucking brilliant good news? My dad is leaving his girlfriend, Dolores. This is a gold-digging leprechaun who has accepted from him, in the last year, a £2800 boiler, fitted wardrobes (over £2k), a new car (£4k), a garden overhaul, frequent flights to Ireland to see her family and random gifts. I am happy to admit I see this as my inheritance being squandered on a useless lump who doesn't even satisfy him sexually (he had his prostate removed two years ago which has rendered him impotent. If I believed in Karma I would say this is the best example ever: he ruined my mum's life with his deviant sexual exploits for thirty years). He hasn't loved her for years but didn't have the nerve to leave her. When they got together he paid off all her debts (over ten grand. Grr) and hasn't stopped since. Hurrah!! More money for me!

MrsKay, my honest opinion? I think inviting anyone other than your husband to the birth emasculates him and undermines his status as father and husband.

mrsk my DH seemed to think that HIS mother was going to be there! I have now told everyone that they will be very unwelcome anywhere near me until at least 2 hours after the birth. The only person (MW excluded, they can stay!) I want there is DH, but even he may get kicked out if he's annoying. When I'm upset or in pain I like to be left alone, when I go into labour it will be about me and the baby - sod anyone else and their feelings. I hate people flaffing around me not being helpful just because 'they want to be there'.

(Just spoke to friend, feel a lot better, she's coming over later)

mrsK My midwife has said I can have as many people as I want at the birth, but to make sure they are all useful. She said it's not a 'spectator sport.'

So I'll be having:

DP, it's his job to not leave my side the entire time.

My little sister, She will be there for taking pictures, fetching ice water, making sure the midvives have enough tea & cake.

My mum, I hadn't planned on having her there. We haven't had the best relationship in the past, but she really opened up to me and told me how much being there would mean to her. She's not the kind of person that normally says how she is feeling so it touched me. DP thinks it's really important that she is there too. He is a big softie and likes the fact that we are building bridges.

Cookie I maybe wouldn't go as far as saying it emasculates (although everyone is entitled to an opinion). My DH and my Mum get along fine but I wouldn't say they are "close" and I feel that spending hours and hours together with me probably in my own world labouring would be awkward for him.

I don't mind her being there for the pushing part (I think she is just fascinated to be at a birth having given birth 3 times but never seen one) but the labour part may be long and protracted and I really just want it to be the two of us.

I am worried about the potential levels of parental fussing immediately after the birth - but am putting it out of my mind somewhat for a bit longer.

But I have made it clear that afterwards everybody has to clear out. I want it to be just me DP & the baby for a few days. I'm not having grandparents and family round to see the baby until I am ready.

I think we'll give grandparents and our brother and sister in law a chance to see the baby on day 1 or 2 and then we will hibernate for a couple of weeks to bond and get ourselves adjusted.

Fox I had an epidural with DD1 but I regret having chosen to have one and I think if I hadn't been at hospital with staff with attitude I would've been more relaxed and may not have felt that I needed it. Some people have them and think they're great and want them again but personally I wouldn't.

Cookie, an experience where you believe that there is a threat to your life or your physical safety where you are powerless to do anything about it can cause trauma - it doesn't have to involve actual death. This can easily happen if there are complications during delivery and nobody tells you what is happening. Personally I have flashbacks from a bad reaction I had to medication during a hospital stay where my condition was not taken seriously and I was not given proper treatment. The reaction I had was not life threatening but I did not know this at the time so it was very frightening as nobody took me seriously or explained what was happening to me. I can see how birth trauma can easily happen because it is related to the patient's perception of what is happening to them and when medical professionals deal with these kind of things all the time it is easy for them to forget that the person experiencing it does not have the same level of knowledge about what is happening that they do and therefore forget to explain/reassure.

Birth partners - I am planning on having a doula again as it definitely worked last time and given we will have a 19 month old at the time, DH may need to be paying attention to her some of the time I am in labour so a second person will be useful. For us, having a doula meant that he felt more relaxed about things as all the pressure wasn't on him which resulted in him being a better and more confident birth partner. He is so bad under pressure that with DD1 it took him over an hour to be ready to set off for the hospital after I told him I wanted to go.