Martians 2014, thread 13. Who will win, team pink or team blue?

[LyraSilvertongue]

New thread, hoes!

Put it this way, my dream involved being chased by strange creatures and then going down a zip wire from one tall building to another, lots of shooting, some hot men (good part of the dream as they were semi naked) and walking through swamps. I was knackered when I woke up. Felt like I had been running all night. Had a varied nights viewing including world war z, Atlantis and Dracula. Would make more sense if any of them were Included In my dream I think!

Am I right to assume weird dreams are common in pregnancy? If so, god only knows what my brain's going to come up with!

Thanks for advice about where to birth. I am beginning to feel as though pushing for a 'natural', non-medicalised birth just to prove a point is rather silly (and maybe even irresponsible). Why would I object to a hospital birth? Why? On the other hand, I am generally imperious and stubborn and a little voice keeps telling me that no fucker is going to dictate where I have this baby. When I watch OBEM I cringe at those women who are too fat to push for any length of time and so unfit that they're almost passing out after an hour of sucking on the gas & air. I can understand why those women would not be permitted to birth 'naturally' or in a pool, but why not me? I was weight training and running and spinning right up until I had IVF and I don't want to be treated with kid gloves just because I am an ancient hag who bought her baby abroad.

P.s..who reported my post about a dodgy seventies glam rock star with a predilection for kiddies? Hmm? Hmmmmmmm?

Madwife (or anyone else in the know), if I were to give birth in an MLU (or indeed those of you labouring at home), what happens if they decide the cord is wrapped around the baby's neck? How do they know this if you are birthing at home? Or an MLU? I presume there is no way of knowing in one's home whether this has happened to the baby? The thought of something so frightening occurring and being 40 mins away from the 'proper' hospital is unthinkable.

Ah, Floaty flo, I'm sorry I made you uncomfortable; my sick sense of humour.

I hope your cough gets better.

I'm one of those women from OBEM Cookie. Well, I'm not fat but Jesus am I unfit.

That's it: I'm off for a walk!

Cookie I don't think they normally know about a cord being wrapped around a babys neck until it's born. Unless for some reason you are booked in for a scan near your due date.

Could be totally wrong though. Madwife?

I just googled. Apparently it's v common and happens in about 2-3 out of 10 normal deliveries. You see it all the time on OBEM, the midwives just unwrap it before handing the baby to mum.

Foxy, I am not trying to denigrate fat women; I am using them as an example of births I watch on telly which leave me cringeing in terms of how rubbish that woman must be feeling. I am lucky in terms of weight but am viewed 'unlucky' because of my age. Bonkers.

Owl, I think I am right in saying you experienced a tragic still birth during one of your pregnancies? I fully understand the tone of your messages and thank you for your perspective. Many thanks to you, oo, Madwife. Just as I am determined to not be dictated to on the basis of my age, I am similarly determined not to fight for a home birth/MLU just because it is the current zeitgeist. I will probably never get the chance to have another baby (and this one cost a lot of money and emotional investment to create) and I would simply die if I experienced complications whilst stuck in a rubber pool at home. I would never forgive myself.

I have been quietly terrified of impending motherhood and the responsibility and massive life change it will bring. Then, at church yesterday, I approached a Pakistani family (converted from Islam to Christianity) and asked if I could hold their seven month-old baby, Phoebe (she looked only four months). Talk about squidgetastic. She was the most adorable creature I have seen in a long time and she smelled of heaven. I rested her on my (fucking gigantic) bump and she nestled into my neck and stayed there for, like, yonks, entirely contented and scrummy. I am so ready to me a mummy!

Sorry for cluster posts and rambling but I've been AWOL for several days and am catching up. Feeling bad about upsetting, Floaty, too. Must keep trap shut

Thanks, Hottie, for replying to me. The mother of my DH's child had to have an emergency caesarean because the cord was wrapped around the baby's neck. How would they have known this? I don't understand. Do you think my DH has got this wrong? He is adamant that this is why she had to have an emergency section and it is the one reason I am reluctant to have a home birth now.

MTB, how are your back and hips? How is the pain? Are you off work still? I know you had Friday off; hope you are getting better.

I'm basing my (limited) info on google. So I've just copied and pasted! By the sounds of it maybe the babies heart rate had started to drop? (Bottom paragraph)

If that happened during a home birth I think they would recommend you transfer into hospital. My midwife has said they err on the side of caution even though in most instances everything turns out absolutely fine.

READ MORE: labor & delivery, cord, umbilical cord
Q: I am 26 weeks pregnant. Last week my doctor did an ultrasound which showed that the umbilical cord was around my baby's neck. My doctor said not to worry. Should I be concerned?

At this point of the pregnancy there is no reason to worry about a cord around the baby’s neck. It’s always possible for a problem to occur, but you should know that most babies who have the cord around the neck at the time of delivery have no problems

Umbilical Cord Around The Neck: It’s usually not until the delivery of a healthy baby that the diagnosis of an umbilical cord wrapped around the baby’s neck is made and most of the time nobody suspected or knew about it before the delivery. Though it seems a very dramatic event, a cord wrapped around the baby’s neck is seen in about 2-3 out of 10 normal deliveries.

The diagnosis of a cord wrapped around the baby’s neck before delivery is a rare incidental finding on a routine ultrasound examination because the diagnosis can not easily be made with a regular black-and-white ultrasound machine but often requires a specialized color machine. An umbilical cord seen around the fetus’ neck early in pregnancy does not increase the likelihood of a problem, and the chance of damaging the baby is very small.

Because the fetus moves a lot inside the uterus, the umbilical cord can get wrapped and unwrapped many times throughout the pregnancy around the baby. While there are some stories of cords getting twisted too much around the baby (‘cord accidents’), these events happen extremely rarely, and though it won’t help the families that it happened to, it usually can not be prevented.

Occasionally the umbilical cord gets stretched and compressed during labor before the baby is born, leading to a brief decrease in the flow of blood within the umbilical cord. This can lead to fetal heart rate changes which are distinguished by a sudden and short drop of the fetal heart rate, so-called ‘variable decelerations". Because all babies are normally monitored during labor by listening to the fetal heart beat variable decelerations are usually diagnosed during labor. In most instances these changes are of no major concern and most babies quickly pass through this stage allowing for a normal birth. But if the baby’s heart beat worsens, a cesarean section is sometimes necessary.

"zeitgeist". Nice.

Thanks, Hottie. Am I right in thinking that, at a MLU or home birth, there is no monitoring of fetal heart beat? This is what worries me, essentially.

Oh, weight gain: I have put on 1st 10lbs at 23 weeks. This truly horrifies me but I still maintain it is largely bump and tits. I still consider myself slim

Maybe! How is the work situation? How is your sickness and general wellbeing? x

Pirate's, I think you are getting results of your blood tests tomorrow. I am hoping for the very best scenario and wanted you to know I did pray for you at church yesterday and will continue to do so x

They do monitor you! If you are in the pool they use an underwater doppler. If there were any issues then they might ask you to get out of the pool so they can do continuous monitoring by putting that thing on the babies head technical.

What kind of church do you go to Cookie?

I'm really going for that walk now.

it's very common for umbilical cord to be round the baby's neck, or their body, leg, arm etc. The only signs of this occurring during labour could be seen on a CTG monitor but only if its tight and causing an issue. Most babies are born with the cord wrapped around them in some way, a lot of births I've done have had this and its not been an issue, but sometimes has explained decelerations on a monitoring afterwards. In a low risk setting, the fetal heart is listened to every 15 minutes for 1 minute following a contraction, if there was a deceleration heard this could indicate a problem then you would be transferred in order to be monitored which would indicate if there were any problems such as a cord tightly around the neck or normally baby squeezing the cord with their hand during a contraction.

Cookie, I was hoping for a Water birth but being diabetic has put paid to that (am also, as previously explained, a bit chunky although less so at the moment cos I haven't put any weight on after the weight I lost in the first trimester). In some ways I quite like the fact that I have no options on the birth. I will be under consultant led care, I will be induced by 38 weeks and I will be in a bed being monitored until the baby comes out (on its own or by c-section). The way I am looking at it is that this is my only time of having a baby and I want it to have the best possible start. If the doctors are saying that means in hospital being monitored then that's fine. The reality is that the birth is a very short time out of the baby's entire life and it's the start of my focus having to be on the baby and not myself. Hope that doesn't sound patronising. I guess in a nutshell, what I am trying to say is don't get too entrenched. Focus one the beautiful baby at the end of the delivery and do what you think is going to get you that in the best and safest way. Hmm. That is patronising, but seriously not intended that way!

PS - it's v good to have you back on here Cookie. far too quiet without you!

PPS - for all those having babies at home or in MLU's I am, as my DSD's would say, well jell

Gosh, you lot talking about want you want is making me feel like a right sheep! What ever the Midwife has told me I have just nodded along and said 'ok' then followed orders!

She hasn't discussed birth plans or anything yet, and to be honest I haven't even looked into things ... I was assuming the MW goes over this with you? Maybe?

Apart from being the person pregnant I don't feel part of this whole having a baby process. It feels like I'm just going to hand the baby to someone else once it's out. - This might have something to do with MIL being over barring but it's my fault for letting her be so, maybe I'll spend a week with cookie and learn how to speak out

Foxy, I go to an evangelical church, which simply means they spread the gospel of Christ. Nowt cultish or weird, thank you very much; no screaming in tongues or wafting incense around. I am an incorrigibly shit Christian, which makes me truly sad on a daily basis.

Cassie, you are absolutely not patronising me. I agree with everything you are saying. I am afraid of letting myself get swept away with bullish anecdotes about home births and, at the other extreme, obstetric-led births. I keep asking myself why the fuck I would object to being in a hospital to give birth. Why? These people (the hospital staff) are trained and have my best interests at heart. Mind you, I am not the kind of person who will stand being dictated to so maybe that is why I am recoiling slightly from the medicalised birth scenario. I must try to remember that I know fuck all about labour and birth and they know everything.

Blockette, there is a lot to be said for handing over your pregnancy, labour and birth to the experts. What the fuck do we know? There's this feeling at the moment that it is vital to be 'in control', 'fully-informed' and determined about birth plans, and that some kind of magical birth scenario is essential, but I thought Madwife was spot-on when she said every birth is the same at the end. You could probably read every informative hypnobirthing book there is but still experience the most agonising birth. I dunno, I think the best laid plans and all that...

Madwife, I forgot to thank you for cord-wrapping information. I can see now that this should not be the sole reason for not having an MLU birth

Back from my walk! It really is very lovely out there. The lake was looking gorgeous. The water is clear, the sun is shining & there's snow on the mountains. Mmmm.

My sister has said she's seen a nursing chair for £30 which she seemed very impressed with. Is this something I want? Sister tells me it's hard to get comfy in bed/on a sofa for feeding.

Afternoon everyone.

Hope everyone is doing ok.

Still on fruit cravings. So very strange. I'm doing baked apples tonight for a nice autumn pud and to stop me from drinking 2 litres of juice, as I've done quite a few times recently.

Baby Alien is kicking like mad. Scan tomorrow, about this time. Slightly nervous but it can't come soon enough.

I've been off work for a few days, just having a little break. Went to see the circus of horrors and it was freaking awesome. Though those of you on the FB group may have seen that I was there at the same time as the 70mph winds that thew a bloke under a taxi. Fortunately, nothing that serious happened to me but I did flash my arse and bump to the world for quite a sustained period of time. I couldn't control my skirt and ended up getting quite a few honks (was wearing some quite sexy underwear in anticipation of getting home - the wind did ruin the surprise) and dashing for the car rather than continue trying to hide my modesty.

Where the circus of horrors is concerned: fellow midget lovers absolutely must see it. A midget swings a 2 stone cannon ball from his cock (which hangs down to his knees!) And there's loads of great acrobatics and sword swallowing and the like.

I was sad to see Pirates' news. If you're reading chuck, I hope the amnio gives you more info. We're all here for you. xx

Fox, I actually returned a 'nursing chair' which I had delivered from a second-hand shop last Thursday. It was fifteen quid and fabulously roomy and squishy and arm-less. However, it was taking up unnecessary room in my bedroom and I decided that, if I am going to be up for periods of time during the night feeding the baby, I am fucked if I am going to sit there in a big ol' chair in my bedroom with no fucking telly.