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Connect with mums-to-be with similar due dates to share experiences and support.

Martians 2014, thread 13. Who will win, team pink or team blue?

999 replies

LyraSilvertongue · 22/10/2013 16:52

New thread, hoes!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
JustCallMeBaldrick · 02/11/2013 21:16

Thanks for the leg sympathy and advice ladies. They're not as bad today, so I think it was all the walking round yesterday.
I'm booked in at the MLU but I have a nasty feeling that I'll end up in the 'normal' delivery suite, as I've put

JustCallMeBaldrick · 02/11/2013 21:19

Gah!
...put on a lot of weight. This happened with DD as well, so it won't be the end of the world if it happens, but I will be disappointed.
I have never bothered with a birth plan for just this reason, but go in with an open mind and demand drugs (or at least gas and air!)

Rockchick1984 · 02/11/2013 22:37

Statistically home birth is just as safe as hospital birth. When I had DS I was frequently left alone (other than DH) for 30 mins at a time, so they wouldn't have known if something was going wrong. Home birth will mean I'm never left without a midwife, they will transfer me in at the first sign of things not going perfectly to plan, and I will (in theory) be more relaxed so less likely to have problems. Fight for it Cookie and get your water birth!

Baldrick how much weight have you put on? I've gained exactly a stone so far (23 weeks) - had put on 2 and a bit at this stage with DS!

April13 · 03/11/2013 08:35

I've put just under a stone, is that considered normal??

HappyHoppy · 03/11/2013 09:06

There's a calculator at www.calculator.net/pregnancy-weight-gain-calculator.html which shows what's normal weight gain - although it is American (I think) so not necessarily NHS-sanctioned!

lumpylumps · 03/11/2013 10:56

Morning all. I'd err on the side of caution too. They're very protective over IVF babies and understandably so. You just need to listen to all the advice, see how things go and do what you think is best for you and your baby.

CalltheMadwife · 03/11/2013 11:10

Hi all

To be honest it's all a load of bollocks, the line between 'low' and 'high' risk is a fine line. There are very obvious things that are high risk: heart conditions, diabetes, epilepsy, pre-eclampsia then there are IVF, age, raised BMI (slightly not massive). Anyone who is concerned should be having a consultant appointment and speak to the supervisor of midwives, if you are still not satisfied that they're listening to you, contact AIMS there is an amazing advocate for women called Beverley Beech who stands up for women's choices in difficult situations.

I've got a consultant appointment because my BMI is 37.5 and I want a home birth, I have declined taking aspirin and declined a GTT, as long as you know the information you can choose what you want and what you don't, ask them straight what their evidence is and where you can find it.

With IVF pregnancy the only risk is normally associated if there has been issues with previous pregnancies, lots of surgery etc, if it is simply a donor egg and pregnancy has been low risk then risk is no more than another pregnancy once in place really.

Hope this helps,

In other news I've been having major mood swings, last night was out and got majorly upset that I couldn't drink and join in the fun at a posh ball, then an hour or so later felt fine!? Bizarre hormones! currently enjoying my 2nd of 3 days off after 3 long 12 hour shifts in a row on a busy ward this week. Gonna cook up a massive roast dinner later and vegetate :)

MummyPig24 · 03/11/2013 11:21

I've put on 6lbs so far, I never gain much in pregnancy though which is good because I'm chubby enough to start with! I will see the consultant on Tuesday because my bmi was less than 1 point over the cut off number. Hopefully everything will be fine and I can go ahead and have the baby at the birth centre.

OwlinaTree · 03/11/2013 12:52

callthemadwife how can you say it's a load of bollocks? They will have stats on still births. If you are in even a slightly higher risk group for having a still birth you need to know and be advised accordingly. Do you think they should just let women in a higher risk group go ahead with a more risky birth and then say afterwards 'oh yes you were in a higher risk group' if it all goes wrong? Do you think those women would feel they'd had a good standard of care? I think not. The care givers have a responsiblity to offer the best possible care to each person.

And rockchick bear in mind those stats are going to be skewed as pretty much anyone with any type of problem will not be having a home birth. So you have

all expected normal births v all possibly complicated births + some expected normal births.

So they may not be comparing like for like there.

People have the right to choose what they like of course, but please don't encourage people to dismiss expert advice.

floatyflo · 03/11/2013 13:06

Ahem.
Sorry but I just don't 'get' your comment on the Vietnamese child and Gary Glitter. cookie

I find it inappropriate, distasteful and makes me feel uncomfortable reading and posting on this thread.

IceNoSlice · 03/11/2013 13:15

Callthemadwife great post. I don't think you were dismissing risks - just standing up for the right for us to have a say in our own medical care, be given all the facts and know how to be listened to.

CalltheMadwife · 03/11/2013 14:03

I meant the classifications of low and high risk are sometimes skewed to suit the obstetricians (NICE guidelines are created by doctors not midwives) and what they want, a lot of 'evidence' used is not accurate or out of date but because there isn't anything better they use it anyway.

The recommendation is that women who are higher risk have a discussion with the midwifery and obstetric team to make a decision on her care, not to be TOLD what's she can and can't do.

Yes stillbirth does happen, but for instance, 82% of women will give birth naturally if they are left to by 42 weeks when term ends.....NOT when induced at 40, 41 weeks, too much intervention too early when women's bodies and babies are not ready leads to traumatic births and worse outcomes eg. Prolonged labour, increased instrumentals, perineal trauma, Caesarean sections. I am not referring to induction for a real reason here, simply women who are getting to the end of their pregnancy with no other risks or worse....social reasons, SPD where women move around quite easily and jump onto the bed!

I know what risk is and yes some women are DEFINITELY high risk I was merely pointing out that not all RISK is the same, and lot of issues arise in labour unexpectedly and nothing can be predicted, that is the nature of pregnancy and childbirth, with life comes death unfortunately, and the majority of stillbirth still cannot be explained, education and informed choice is what I want for all women so that they make a decision based on this rather than fear. Birth occurs exactly the same whether at home, MLU, in the car park, in the lift, in an obstetric room.

A midwife's role is being an expert in normal pregnancy and childbirth, obstetricians are experts in the abnormal, that is why an obstetrician will advise against a home birth for someone who may be classed as higher risk (eg higher bmi) they have probably never been to a home birth and wouldn't have a clue what happens in a normal birth and the normal process of labour, they deal with intervention when things go wrong. I am stereotyping here and yes there will be obstetricians who are better informed of normality, it just frustrates me when women are made to feel bullied into something they don't want because they haven't been told the full story to make them feel their decision was their own.

Right it's my day off.....I'm off to aldi.

OwlinaTree · 03/11/2013 17:15

What you have said there callthemadwife makes much more sense. I'm sure you know much more about this than most, since you work in this field.

I'm not sure what you expect consultants etc to do about calculating risk, other than using the data they have available to them. Unfortunately they can't look into a crystal ball. It's true as you say many still births are in low risk groups, but i do believe women should have all the risks explained to them regarding their situation before they make a choice.

My sister had a home birth and had a wonderful experience, i'm certainly not someone who feels everybody should have an assisted hospital birth. I strongly feel people should make their own choices. But these choices are to be taken after thought.

What i really objected to in your first post was the 'It's all a load of bollocks' regarding risk factors. I don't think women who have had a still birth regard risk factors in such a way, and as you are a midwife you stating that carries a little more weight than any of the rest of us saying it.

CalltheMadwife · 03/11/2013 18:14

Again I will say my 'it's a load of old bollocks' was a reference to the categorization of risk, quite often women are told they are at great risk when evidence says otherwise.

I am not disregarding risk, my whole job is about risk assessment, I was just trying to say that please don't just be told what to do, being in an obstetric unit doesn't prevent unexpected outcomes, if a pregnancy is normal and labour is progressing as normal, and fetal movements are felt then women should be able to choose where they labour with the option to transfer in if needed as the situation arises.

Anyway I'm not going to say anymore on this as I've obviously upset you.

OwlinaTree · 03/11/2013 18:37

Ok, let's move on from this topic. Thanks for responding to me.

I'm making apple crumble for pudding tonight and DH making beef stew. Autumn is definitely upon us!

floatyflo · 03/11/2013 19:44

Sounds delish Owl, I've got some bread pudding baking in the oven. Haven't made it in yonks!

OwlinaTree · 03/11/2013 20:18

Thanks flo.

OwlinaTree · 04/11/2013 07:41

Very exciting news! My DH felt the baby move last night!!

MummyPig24 · 04/11/2013 08:13

Yay owl that's so lovely!

floatyflo · 04/11/2013 09:05

Aw that's so nice Owl

Hopefully he will feel bump move more and more!

My dp has felt a tiny kick just the once so far. Movements aren't very regular or felt very often at the mo. 20wk scan showed that its due to placenta being at the front cushioning everything!

My sil is also pregnant but her oh is in the armed forces. He is away for four months now and won't be back until about a week before the baby is due, but just before he left, he was lucky enough to feel their baby move. He was so chuffed as he is away for the majority of her pregnancy and thought feeling kicks would be one of the many things he would miss. :) and its their first.

HotCrossPun · 04/11/2013 09:09

Owl Re the home birth thing. The stats are also skewed the other way as well. My midwife told me that non-planned home births are included in the home birth figures.

How are you all today? We still haven't bought a single thing. I was making a list the other night on the Mamas & Papas website because I think we are going to order it all from there. Is there anything I've missed? Apart from clothes, nappies, wipes and things?

Travel System
Nursery furniture (cot, mattress, wardrobe, changing unit + chest of drawers)
Moses basket with stand
Bath
Sling
Breast Pump
Nursing pads
Changing mat
Swaddle wrap
Gro bag

Blockette · 04/11/2013 09:16

Ah Owl that's lovely! I loved it when DH felt her move as well made it feel real, it was defiantly not in my head any longer :)

I must say I'm very impressed with the amount of baking people on this thred do, I'm an awful cook / baker :( my Dad (catering consultant) has promised to teach me properly when I'm on maternaty leave :)

I had a boring soggy weekend, nothing really happened. But sleep is becoming more of an issue again, even worse now that I'm getting kicked to death at god knows when in the morning.

FoxMulder · 04/11/2013 10:06

Morning all! What a beautiful day. When I stepped out of my house this morning the sun was just popping up above the hills (I was late again) and the fields were covered in frost. Sadly my car was too and it took ages to defrost! What a shame to be in to office all day. Especially after a weekend of such crazy heavy showers.

Cookie If you're still here, that photo on FB is of me & DH when we were 18 & 20, so no wonder we look young. I don't really have any recent pictures of myself. Especially not since my stupid computer decided to lose all the photos from June-Aug this year.

I've just started feeling baby move this weekend too. It's pretty weird! Got the scan tomorrow. Am a bit nervous.

Can't help you with your list Hottie I've not really though about it. I'm not planning on getting much at the mo.

Cassiopeia01 · 04/11/2013 10:15

Morning all! Owl, my DH also felt the baby kicking last night for the first time. Made me very emotional. Although everything makes me emotional at the moment Grin

Had the most bizarre dream last night. A mix if Strike Back/the mummy/twilight/hunger games. I woke up seriously confused!!!

Blockette · 04/11/2013 10:31

Lol! That's an odd mix cass care to explain any further?

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