Graduated Elderberries - Thread 8

[Cavort]

The over 30's expecting/just given birth to their first little bundle of joy.

Thread 8 already!!

Oh lol

I don't know what we did differently, but last night was back to where we were. We woke him at 10pm for a feed, and he woke at 4.50am for another. Awesome. Feel like a different person after some sleep!

Cavort - hops your night was a bit better?

Hops = hope

Crikey Lol, that sucks but yay for Janey!

We got H in bed upstairs by 9 last night. He woke a couple of times for some chatter but both times soothed himself back to sleep - didn't wake properly til 245.

Meanwhile... we DTD :)

Only took 12 weeks!

Check you out brave Nice work.

Glad you had a good night janey!

Gutted you didn't lol.

I wad wide awake at 5am then fell asleep again at 6 something, now at my desk feeling like a zombie. I am 37 weeks tomorrow and finally 'feel' pregnant, I'm slower and get tired easier, plus I feel like more of a lump than before. Up until now I've felt the same as before apart from the dodgy hips so this is a bit odd, glad I'm finishing work tomorrow. Just hope he doesn't keep us waiting too long.

Think he has dropped so hoping he is engaged now. He certainly feels lower and I get the odd grinding sensation which could be his head in my pelvis I guess?

Still not worried about the birth....is that odd?!? I'm happy we know the way, happy with the hospital which seemed really nice, happy my bag an babies is 99% packed been getting BHs and just want to meet him now

That's a great attitude Mother, i'm sure it will stand you in good stead for the labour and birth

Go Miles!! I hope it lasts for you Janey and yours doesn't turn out to be a broken one like ours

Lol I hope the rest of your night was better. Gotta love a growth spurt.

We had a slightly better night, but only because I have abandoned the nighttime self settling until this phase had passed and fed/cuddled her back to sleep each time she woke (3 times last night) resulting in me getting a bit more sleep. This is frustrating and a definite step backwards because she was doing really well with it up until a week ago, but in the interest of my sanity I just need to do whatever it takes to get her to sleep in the middle of the night. As much as I know I should stick with it, I can't physically survive on 2 hours sleep in 24 which is what I got the previous day. I will still stick to self settling at bedtime and for daytime naps (which are still annoyingly short unless she is in the pram meaning I can't sleep in the day unless DH is around). After a bit of a battle for this morning's nap she did self settle eventually

The Wonder Weeks app reckons it will be another 26 days of this shit until it gets better!

I hope so cav feel a bit like perhaps I'm sticking my head in the sand though?

I don't blame you at all, sanity comes first!!! Do what you need to make life as easy as possible!

We had our last antenatal class last night, had a very angry lady their. Feel bad for her, she's obviously had a hard time, she was expecting twins but lost one, now is having a c section as bubs is breach, but she was so annoyed that the first 2 classes preparing us for labour and birth didn't dedicate time to c sections, she came to the first one then didnt bother with the second, she also didnt come to the relaxation session as decided that wasnt for c sections either. She moaned so much last night about not being supported, I felt bad for her but the rest of us were trying so hard to be positive it was a bit of a downer.

Woop go bear!!

mother I'm weirdly relaxed about the whole thing too?! Wonder if it's hormonal as I'm usually highly strung a planner but am very 'go with the flow' about the birth!

Although crazy pregnancy hormones again - after yesterday's waterworks about the baby tiger dying at London zoo, a panda has had a miscarriage and that made me want to cry too!

cavort not a step backwards if it's saving your sanity! I guess it's feeling your way as you go and doesn't undo the good work just to back down on things to catch up on some sleep.

Oh and mother, there are a couple of people in my NCT who might be having c sections but they didn't mind that we covered so much about vaginal births as was relevant to the majority, and relaxation is good for pregnant women either way. Bit mean of her to bring everyone else down but sad about the twin. Our teacher did ask though if we wanted to spend more time on c sections (as any of us could end up having one) but no one wanted to, think we all felt there was less we could learn to prepare (as it's more out of your hands) so it was actually covered quite quickly on our course but no one seemed to mind.

Off the topic, but weirdly we ended up in our last class doing a practice contraction which involved Marvin Gaye playing, sucking on a minstrel and grinding our hips leaning over the back of chairs with partners grinding away behind us?! Very strange and hysterical and I'm sure NOTHING like a contraction!

Gutted that no minstrels were involved in my labour.

What the hell Alex?! We certainly didn't do any of that in our NCT class. Are you sure it was actually an NCT class you were in? Sounds very dodgy!
Ha that reminds me of your friend (was it your friend?) who tried to enrol on a pole dancing fitness class, but then got there to find you had to undress and it was an audition to be a stripper...

I think that's a brilliant attitude you two - you have to be relaxed about the birth. I really wanted a c section, but only got the ok 24 hours before (and ended up needing one anyway due to miles flipping from head down to transverse breech at 37 weeks). Anyway I was weirdly laid back about wondering what would happen - felt very blasé that somehow what would be would be.

I saw the panda and the miscarriage yesterday and thought I'd better not mention it after the tiger tears!

Wow Alex - how did your other half take that! I think antenatal classes are very hit and miss - I paid for the full course (more detail and longer than free NHS one) but there was nothing mentioned at all about what might happen if things didn't go to plan - including sections (emergency or planned).

I can understand not wanting to scare people unnecessarily but it meant we were pretty unprepared for the way things unfolded.

thank you for the fanfare Cavort wasn't quite Marvin Gaye but an achievement! Was pretty sore in certain positions and I could feel a massive difference :( but DP wins points for lying saying it felt fine to him.

Ha yes - it was a recruitment class for strippers and she thought it was just a fitness pole dancing class!

Haha alex that sounds hilarious! We did some practice contractions, basically involving how to stand, sit etc, what the OHs could do to help, massage etc, but ours was far less risque

Seen this online a few times. I may be grasping at straws but for the last week I have been eating 4 to 6 dates a day....I'm a saddo aren't I! Plus I'm taking raspberry leaf tea and Evening Primrose Oil, I just figure anything is worth a try.

I hadn't heard about either of those, sad animal stories are never good. I have to say animal stories, especially relating to dogs really get me at the moment. Guess I'm more of a sucker as I have a dog?

In our NCT course the teacher got my DP onto a table and showed us roughly what happened during a c section - how you'd be wired up, the high number of people that will be in the room and what their roles are. Considering four out of the seven girls in the class ended up having a c section (none through choice) I think it was time well spent.

Given you didn't cover it - if it did happen to you, don't be worried if there are 8+ medical people in the room. Totally normal. In the end you'll only really notice the anaesthetist who is the only one who stays head end with you throughout....

I'm sure things will, erm, bounce back and feel back to normal at some stage brave! It's still really early days and I bet it's hard to relax and enjoy it the first time too. It will be Marvin Gaye and minstrels in no time!

DH was quite good in the NCT class, he got involved in things, selfishly I liked it when partners had to give you a massage, pretending you were in labour. He was worryingly bad at changing a nappy and cleaning the baby but it did make the class laugh! We had to do a bit at the end of each class about how you're feeling and what you've learnt, and he would come out with this cheesy bullshit, I reckon he was trying to say the right things!

mother I'm going to start with dates and raspberry leaf tea but not until nearer the time, maybe 3 weeks before, worth a shot?! Am also going to start eating more pineapple. When we get close to the due date, I might try and see if I can get some dtd action going on (DH has been on a sex ban since March because of my cervix stuff!) Would be weird dtd with a bump and moving baby in there but I'm going to try and seduce to avoid going over the due date too much! Someone at work told me the only thing that is proven to bring on labour is, ahem, tweaking nipples for ages!

alex sex with a huge bump is logistically tricky it is not a dignifed affair anymore. Worth it to shut the OH up though.

I heard you have to eat about 2 pineapples a day for it to make a difference, worth a try though!!! I started RLT and EPO at 36 (ish) weeks. I will be trying the long walks, ball bouncing, floor cleaning, hot currys etc as of next week.

My OH was quite good at our classes, he was quite sweet last night and said he was worried what he would miss out on when he goes back to work...bless him! Maybe he's not all caveman. We didnt do much on handling the baby but he has practiced putting nappies on teddies, his idea not mine!

brave I agree, panic not, our bodies are incredible things, just takes them a while to heal.

See I'm not sure DH will be up for it as I think the idea of the baby being right there and wriggling will dampen the mood a bit! This is why I'm going to go for a sneaky seduction plan rather than "babe can we dtd to bring on labour" which I've decided isn't a sexy line

As we're on the subject our v late pregnancy sex c. 39 weeks was amazing. It had been a while sincewwe'd managed it and I think we both knew it was our last time pre birth.

Do it!

And it may be coincidence but I started eating dates after I finished work - had a couple every day when I remembered and H was practically born on his due date :)

Alex your classes sound amazing - exactly what I would have liked in terms of OH participation altho mine would rather stick pins in his bits than get involved in any participation

Alex you know the phrase to use if all else fails... 'fill up the penis beaker, darling...'

Whoop for Brave! And sympathies for those of you engaged in the epic sleep sagas...

Can't believe we are getting to the preparing-for-birth stage!
I feel reasonably chilled about the birth, I think I've done a fair bit of mental preparation for that already. What is occasionally freaking me out is the realisation that a small, real baby will be coming to live with us and we will have responsibility for it forever and our lives will never be the same...
DP and I were talking the other night and saying how you can prepare for birth, you can prepare by buying all the bits and gubbins for baby, but there isn't actually any way to prepare for the unknown sledgehammer of emotions that are going to engulf you when baby is actually here, if that makes sense.
(Hope I haven't freaked you out Alex and Mother, you sound more chilled than me about it)

I couldn't bear to read about the panda or the tiger :(

quod they do go through all of that at the ante natal classes to try and reassure you, I was also terrified about being responsible for a tiny vunerable little person.....still am to be honest, excited though!!!!

It was good seeing that everyone at NCT feels exactly the same way - it is exciting but daunting! Weirdly I worry most about financially supporting a person for years and years and the pressure of that, and then making sure they're financially ok when they're older - I feel quite positive about everything else, we'll just muck through it together with bags under our eyes!

Also, worryingly, every time we had to do an exercise in NCT on the role of the dads, my DH kept saying 'jokes/humour'. So what would help during labour? Jokes. What would help if I'm exhausted or get PND? Jokes. What would help us be good parents? Jokes. I'm a bit worried I'm going to be in the midst of the agony of childbirth and he'll be there doing a stand up routine!

OMG if my DP had tried to tell me jokes when I was on the operating table being offered a general anaesthetic because I could move my legs and the spinal was wearing off, I think I would have throttled him

That's what the other guys in the class were warning him about! I overheard them during one of the exercises when the dads were all working together, they were saying "mate we might get in trouble with that idea" and all of them laughing! To be honest though, when I'm anxious, I love it when someone makes me laugh so within reason, a bit of humour will be appreciated. As I'm about to do the final push and crying and screaming, it will not.

OMFG has anyone read the Gina Ford book? A friend of mine gave it to me and I decided to have a quick look at it. Bad mistake. I am clearly the most disorganised mother and am damaging my baby by not giving her a structured routine.
Please tell me I am not the only one?
How do you ladies go on about daily naps? How many a day and for how long? What if they won't settle? What do you do? How much do you let them cry before cuddling them?? I am starting to get very worried about my slack approach