MARTIANS 2014 - Thread 9: Heartbeats, hormones and more Gregg's pasties than you can shake a stick at!

[rescoonetwothree]

Old thread!

Stats spreadsheet thanks to MTB

If you want to join the Facebook pm me your link and I'll get you added!

Welcome Martians!

Hottie, that's a really difficult question, simply because I'm too ashamed to say 'no' and not a good enough liar to say 'yes'. This pregnancy is making me very territorial and demanding - I refuse to allocate even an inch of my baby's bedroom to Oliver (I plan to put baby in its own room ASAP).

Can I just say that, thus far, DH hasn't spent one single penny on maternity clothes for me or anything for the baby. Not one penny. He is spending £100 on Oliver's bike and it costs him £20 in travel to go and see hi son because the mother 'is too afraid' to drive her car over here.

*'too afraid' of unfamiliar roads, not of me

Pram I know how you feel, I don't want to go into detail, but I've been in a similar situation.

moosey we've been together for almost 4 years :)

Karam So you are a stepmum to 10 children? Plenty of practice for you then!

If you don't mind me asking, are the 10 children all to the same mother?

Feel free to tell me to fuck off and stop being so nosy if you wish

Away to watch big mommas house. Give myself a bit of a confidence boost.

OH has sent me to bed cause I had a panic attack and he cares about me so much because I really freaked him out

Prammy you're stuck between a rock and a shit hard place aren't you. I get the feeling, and correct me if I'm talking shit, that it doesn't matter what you say to ManPram at the moment, or how you try to approach the situation. It will always seem as though you are deliberately trying to be 'difficult'. Not sure if that's come out the way I wanted it to. It's almost as if he isn't ready to compromise on it at the moment. We have seen a similar thing happen with good friends of ours, a previous child from another relationship. The boy, who is a lovely boy, went through a big phase of playing everyone at their own game. Kids are the most astute little humans ever. They pick up on everything. He had an ability to always get his own way by playing the adults off against each other. Whilst it's important both for ManPram to feel Oliver is accepted by you, it is also equally important for Oliver and ManPram to understand that when he stays with you, you have the right to be treated like a parent too. If he wants Oliver to be a part of yor family, then you have to act like a family unit. Especially when Prambino comes along. There is to be no favouritism on ManPrams part as it's a recipe for disaster. I feel I have ranted in a most ineloquent way . But I mean well lovely x

No I'm not a step mum, 3 are to the same woman the rest are to different. He's got a VERY high sperm count (tmi!) Although we were ttc for 1 1/2 years so our baby is a miracle :)

Ooh Wonder, Yorkshire puds. Mmmm. Did you have them?

wow! he has been busy kara!! sorry we're so nosy but, just clarifying, the rest are ALL to different mamas? so there are 8 different mothers or am i being thick? also, the 10, are there multiples and from what age are they/was he when he had them?! sorry to be so outrageously nosy i am just intrigued! as with hot tell me to fuck off if you wish!

comms I'm leaving all that side up to him, but ill pick stuff and make it sort it out and send the emails and timings hahaha, ah romance!

as ever pram, maybe is speaking so much sense. i want you to live in my brain maybe.

Marbie, your posts could never be ranty or inappropriate and your last one made tons of sense. Th'usband has just returned and The Bike Has Been Purchased. £90. We are about to go to Pat & Ron's (DH's customers who are kindly giving us the Mamas & Papas moses basket, blankets and matching curtains) and I can't help thinking how utterly generous everyone is being to this baby except for DH I don't wish to monopolise the thread any longer on this issue, so can I just thank everyone who has given their opinions (but where are those of you whose hubby's have kids from previous relationships?? Maybe there are none. I wish that were me.)

Kara, thanks for indulging my nosiness. Your DP deffo has super spunk!

I don't consider myself a 'step-mum' either. Fuck that. He already has a mum.

Kara, what was the panic attack about? Do you want to talk about it?

panic attack kara?! i bloody missed that, echoing concern of prammo!

Prambo I don't have an issue with you talking about it, it seems to be a very delicate complicated situation. Best of luck to you and I hope everything works out for the best.

I can be hired for a very reasonable fee Grey

I'm glad I wasn't ranting too much Pramsolo. I love the sound of Pat and Ron. Is this the same Pat that made the jam?

Panic attacks are scary Kara. Hope all is ok

maybe where do i sign?

also, at pramsolo

Pramsolo is fucking genius. 'Nuff said.

Pantomime, that's really nice of you, thanks.

MarbieSwallowsKen'sSpunk, Pat & Ron are not the same as the jam-maker. She is the morbidly obese lady with the 'shithole' for a home. I can't wait for this baby's arrival - th'usband doesn't know quite how much of a shithole he's going to be coming home to

Kara, my head tilt was genuine and not sarcastic or patronising.

I have just declared that I am having a rather expensive takeaway for my tea when we return from Pat & Ron's. I have also declared that we cannot afford for th'usband to have one too. This is solely because he has just spent £90 on his son's bike. I am aware how pathetic that is but I feel much better for actively being a twat

Sorry have been a bit AWOL!

kara hope you're having a nice rest!

Glad it's not just me getting excited about the nursery. Although ours will be mega budget.

Can't remember who's DHs are not excited, but I'll join that camp. Phoned on Friday after I'd heard the heartbeat, and he said "oh, OK"

pram glad you feel you can talk on here, and second others advice. My stepbrothers never had a room or their own space at their Dad's house as he had two small children. They were guenuinly not fussed by it as our house (with their mum, my dad and other brothers) was/is their home. One actually said it was good not to have to pretend he had two homes once. When they webt to stay they shared they each had a camp bed in the kids play room. I hope that that helps.

PS you're dead right about the takeaway.

I'm not sure I want to divulge much more info on OH, he's had a colourful past but his future is with me and bump :)

The panic attack was definately brought on by me worrying, I'm absolutely terrified I'm going to be hopeless at being a mum, I'm scared I'm doing not doing everything right for the pregnancy. I'm shitting myself about labour and I'm so so scared that my baby won't be healthy.

I know I need to get a grip and the stress is not good for bambino :(

Kara you'll be a great mum. Just a case of learning on the job

Pram you make me . Now, tell me what you're ordering so I can eat vicariously through you.

Grey I'll get a contract carrier-pigeoned over to you

Hi all. Can I join? Have been lurking for weeks but been waiting till my 12 week scan (which was on Friday) before I was brave enough to join! (Had a MC in March so been a bit paranoid). This is my 1st and my EDD is 1 April but I have type 2 diabetes so will be induced at 38 weeks. Means I am consultant led and will be monitored through labour. No options for me other than lying in a bed being monitored, although the midwife did tell me I could move onto a chair. Yey for me .

Pram - my hubster has 3 kids (all girls -13 yr old twins and a soon to be 15 yr old who keeps telling us she is legal next year... ). Being a stepmom is reet tough but the best advice I can give is to accept that your OH loves his son as much as he will love your baby and try to accommodate your step-son as much as possible. He will be in your life forever as your bumps brother and you will probably save a lot of stress in the long-run if you try to find a way to make your family unit work now. I hope that's not too lecture like for a first post!

Also, before you accept me I should tell you that I have never been to Gregg's and probably never will because of the stupid diabetes. Which has caused me many issues over the last few weeks with your chat about doughnuts as they are all I have wanted to eat !!!!

kara, please give yourself a break. I had a fairly major freak out a couple of threads back about my ability to be a mother, and still worry on a frequent basis about how I'll deal with things. The fact that you think about it is actually a good sign; it just means you want to be a good mum. Everyone worries about their baby being healthy, and I think everybody is at least a bit worried about childbirth. It's too easy to let everything that worries you overwhelm you, but the reality is that you'll actually only have to deal with things one step at a time. I've found myself freaking out about breast feeding in public and how I'll deal with a toddler tantrum, at the same time. And then worrying about schools... . There is always support available at all stages, don't forget.

welcome cass!

kara exactly what muddling said!

Welcome cassiopeia! Sorry about all the doughnut talk, it's all prams fault...

maybe, 'eat vicariously through you' sounds ever so slightly obscene. Or is that just me being infantile?

Been lurking have we Cassi?

Great name by the way. Welcome. x