December 2013 - steaming towards 3/4 cooked

[LadyMedea]

Our shiny new thread... Pile in!

Hi all. Had today off with a sick 7yo, probably tomorrow, too, and then half day Friday so I can see midwife. After the wasted trip to the physio, I am asking to see the doctor and might try to get a 20 or 25% reduction in my work until I go off at the beginning of November. I did nothing today and my symphysis pubis is on fire. I think I am going to try to get my Wednesday and Thursday morning lessons covered so I can sleep in, but we still have a Qualified teacher in to do labs in the afternoon.

Sorry everyone is having a shit time

If anyone is having a little girl, I have some clothes that we won't be using (having a boy) so if you would like them, just PM me :) they're second hand so not new but still good quality :)

Hey stom glad you know where you stand with your sick leave. It's crap but just now relax.

I'm off back to doctors tomorrow (unfortunately mines on hols, hope this one is ok) and I'm not any better, if anything I'm worse - barely made it outof bed today and so sick and exhausted. I only have next week before annual leave/mat leave starts so I don't think I'll be going back. Will have into the office at least once though as I need to finish my handover, think I can cope for a couple of hours probably on Monday.

Ugh, this is not how I wanted this bit to go.

I know how u feel. Lady i really wanted to last until November but moved my mat leave forward due to the pain if i had a desk job it may have been different but I'm on my feet all day and you don't get a proper breaks. It was just stressing me out.

I feel. So guilty for being off... But people keep. Telling me I've got to focus on baby which is true. I'd be so upset if something bad happened...

I'm having a girl daley :)

I really hope the next few months go quicker! Seeing mw every 3-4 weeks now so hoping that'll make things seem quicker and got a consultant appointment in October.
Never wanted winter to come so quick haha

Blimey - realised I hadn't checked in for a while and couldn't believe that the 'new' thread had reached 21 pages! I have tried to speed-read but have probably missed some stuff, so sorry for no-shout outs.

Sorry that everyone's having a difficult Wednesday - I will join the queue!

I mentioned a while back that work has gone crazy and it hasn't eased up at all. I think I am actually working longer hours, and am more stressed about work both while I am working and when I am 'off', than I have been since I came back from maternity leave 2.5yrs ago! Not quite fair.

The plus side is that I have finally confirmed my leaving date - 7th Nov, when I will be 34 weeks, so I will hopefully have some time to put my feet up before D-Day. I have also been writing up my own version of War & Peace which is my handover notes, and has served as my own way of organising my head of all the crap that's going on with work!

I am definitely feeling more pregnant now, and the longer working days (last Thurs I left the house at 6.15am and returned at 9.45pm; it was similar yesterday, and I am still at my desk now working at home - and dabbling with mn, admittedly!) mean that I am feeling pretty uncomfortable and knackered a lot of the time. Luckily I am getting lots of reassuring kicks from little plum, so they keep me sane.

I am glad to see I'm not the only one being foolish enough to watch The Midwives - I love it! It's so much better than OBEM, even if I did spend most of last night crying. I also caught the repeat of Child of Our Time later on BBC1, which is a series I have loved, and was in bits watching that too.

My other moan is about maternity clothes - I ordered a load from H&M online back in mid-August but the delivery date just keeps getting pushed back. I have pretty much no winter maternity clothes (the ones I had from my last pregnancy are unfortunately too small - am somewhat larger now than I was then, oops), so I am stuck trying to make my summery clothes feel warmer. I complained to H&M saying my baby would probably arrive before my maternity clothes and they have taken 10% off my order, but I am still thinking of cancelling it and looking elsewhere for warmer clothes. Trouble is there's virtually nowhere that sells half decent maternity clothes!

Phew - sorry for epic post - looks like I had a fair bit to get off my chest.

Hope everyone's Thursdays are cheerier than their Wednesdays!

New look and asos do. Some nice maternity wear :)

Gosh thats a very long day!

I. Keep missing kiddies as dp won't watch anything like that and we don't have sky so can't record it.

Going to invest in one of those freeveiw plus box's so I don't keep missing my programmes I like lol

talk about clothing. i have to go to a black tie event tonight for work. i did not want to buy a new dress that would set me back at least £300 so i went with one i have that is made of stretchy material, but it's cocktail length (and now even shorter because of the bump). ah well, it will do. I just realized though that I shipped all my evening bags so i'm hoping I can get a friend to bring one.

I obv didn't sleep well last night - first night sans hubby - and it will be late tonight on my feet all evening. I just hope I don't faint because that's been my weakness since I got pg.

I hope everyone has a better day today. Thursday.... bring on the weekend!

Morning all

Holly1977 sends her love to all. Shes hoping to be back on here soon but is a bit hectic at min. Her and baby Isabel are doing fine though.

Well am knackered today. Spent the day blitzing kitchen yesterday. Cleaned and swapped all the cupboards around, cleaned the oven, all the scrotty baking stuff has had a good scrub and done the skirts and windows and taken the curtains down for a wash.

But am feeling it today lol. Did loads of bending and stretching and every muscle aches and I'm so tired my eyes are burning. Going to have some soup and a duvet day with my kindle I think.

Can't wait for the bloody weekend and am planning on doing sweet fook all!

Ugh Thursday is no better than Wednesday so far. DS didn't want to go to nursery so I was late for my scan. Had scan, baby is measuring 'small' (for me, apparently) so yet another scan in 6 weeks. This is after the MW appt on Monday where I was told due to DS's size I'd have to have a GTT.... Baby is also unstable breech so off to start spinning babies exercises. To top all that off the consultant was running late so I had to ask DH to pick DS up for lunch and bring him home as I wouldn't be there in time, which means he'll be late home this evening.

Oh and I dropped my phone so the back is completely smashed and leaving glass splinters everywhere but it was the bike basket or the bike with DS strapped into his seat. Aaaaargh.

Morning all

Been out of this new thread for a bit.

Went to go into work yesterday and about 15 minutes before just burst into tears. Lied and said to work I had hurt my hip. Cried for an another half hour when I got off the phone. Phoned the doctor to book an appointment for this morning.

The doctor was awful, worst one I've ever seen in terms of mental health. She didn't know that this a) was my first, not second child and b) that I hadn't actually had the baby and was in fact, still pregnant. First thing she did was run through my mental health history, didn't ask me how I was, barely looked up from her computer screen. I'd had two weeks off work at the start of my pregnancy for depression and basically I'd come to ask for that again to give me some breathing space from my work. She asked what it was about my work that was making me stressed and anxious, so I told her and she said 'yes, but hasn't you job always been like that? So why now? Yes, but that's not really answering my question, I need to understand what's different about it now'. I said I didn't want to talk to my partner about it because I was scared of frightening him and she said 'but wouldn't you be better talking to him about it? Why would he be frightened by that? Wouldn't it be better for him to know?'

I was sobbing the whole way through this and she just kept asking me questions and saying things like 'your job's not going to change when you go back though is it?' I ended up saying 'please, please just give me some time off' and feeling totally pathetic. I honestly almost just ran out of there, I've never made to feel so scrutinsed and rubbish by a health proffeaional. She said she would get an appointment with a mental health nurse brought forward and when I asked if I just wait for them to phone me she thought I meant my work and said 'well, I think it's really your responsibility to tell your work you're going to be off'.

I feel about a million times worse than when I went in

Oh gosh Ccsays that's sounds awful! I'm so glad I havea nice doctor.. Nothing worse than having a Dr that doesn't care!
did she give you the 2 weeks off?
Make sure you rest
By the sounds off it we all need a duvet day and junk food!

Starting to feel rather lonely being off work and not having any friends that care enough to check in and see how I'm doing :/
And breathe nom! At least your phone is replaceable... I take it it's an iPhone? You get get replacement backs on ebay that are easy to put in :)

I think the change in weather is taking its toll on all of us! The chillyness is definitely affecting my joints

omg ccsays i can see why you'd be upset at that dr. Did you get your time off? While the job may be the same when you get back, it's a whole other game when you're pregnant. I doubt she has kids else she'd understand how it takes a toll on everything.
I really hope you got your time off. If you get a couple of weeks, you must then be close to starting your mat leave afterwards, no?

stom sorry you're feeling lonely. that's the worst. i know how that feels... can you go to a pg yoga class or something to just have some interaction with people in your situation?

I agree with blaming the change of weather. While I welcome the cooler temperatures, the fact that last night it was getting dark at 7 and pouring rain definitely contributed to making me cry the whole evening on my couch because I felt so lonely...

well just had three godiva pralines. thank god there is chocolate.

Oh gosh ccsays you win on crap day news. I can't believe how bloody insensitive that doctor was.

Thanks everyone, I feel a bit better now. I got the time off though she didn't seem very happy about and said 'it's anxiety, not depression'. DP phoned me at lunch time to see how my appointment went and was really pissed off at her for being so insensitive. I've ordered a pizza then I'm going to have a bath and see what's on netflix, and maybe use the two weeks to go visit friends and relatives and give the house a good clean and a tidy. Once this sick leave is over I'll only have three weeks to go until maternity leave, so it's not so bad (though when I said that to the doctor she said 'yes, but I don't really see you going back' )

Sorry, you're feeling lonely stom. Do you have a friend you feel close enough to be able to say that to and to ask them for a wee bit more support?

Yeah sorry you're feeling so down ccsays did the doc give you time off? If not try another doc, hopefully one who is more sympathetic! Sounds like my old midwife- no bedside manner/sensitivity.

frouby have I missed something? Has Holly had her baby already??

ccsays that dr sounds horrific. You should consider complaining. Imagine if you didn't have a supportive DH. It's really irresponsible of her to make those comments when you are clearly not feeling great. I think some people don't have an empathetic bone in their body.
Rose feeling for you with your do tonight. I struggle with work dos at the best of times let alone having to wear black tie (while pregnant!)
My Thursday at least is slightly better. I have worked from home this morning and have my osteopath appt this pm so hoping that is going to help.
Hope everyone else is ok.

Yeah i do but she lives 150 miles away. My a presents moved to Sussex when I was 17 and so I had to leave all my friends in dorset.. I'm going to see her in 2 weeks it just seems ages away :(

The friends I've made here don't really care i never here from them. I spend alot of time with dp but he hates my Moanin. And I spent time with me brother.. He came over to watch a dvd with me and he came and done my washing up yesterday bless him cos my back was killing.
I would do the yoga class but they are £56 for 6 weeks which is good but because I've been on sick I haven't got the money :(
Glad yoy got the time off.. I saw a different Dr a couple weeks ago and he was reluctant to give it to me. Saw my Dr yesterday and the first thing he did was get the sick note out and write a month off. Thats why I alway try stick to the same one cos they know more about
you.
Roll on December :)

CCSays I am horrified you went through that with the doctor. Is there another doctor you could see in future?

I am completely surprised by her attitude. Particularly as mindfulness (minor mental health issues such as stress and anxiety) are so high on the NHS agenda. There is a big effort to change people's attitudes to mental health and break down the stigmas related to it. It is hard enough to admit you are not coping emotionally but to have it thrown back in your face is disgraceful. I would have been a mess throughout the whole appointment. I would suggest complaining to PALS (patient advice and liaison service) and let your practice manager know that you are doing this.

This type off approach is not acceptable and the practice manager will agree.

I know as pregnant ladies we have to doubley cope with our hormones and extra physical pressures, but we are still able to make decisions which are for the health our us and our babies.

Sorry for the rant, but I am really cross for you. If you want any help constructing a letter, pm me. I am not assuming you don't know how, but I am just offering my help if you would like to go ahead and complain.

The chances are the GP was having a bad day, or not aware of her behaviour and this will bring it to her attention, professionally.

Failing all that, make another appointment with her when you feel a little bit stronger, take a friend or DP and share your experience with her face to face.

Alternatively, ignore my really long post and just look after yourself, which you should be doing anyway.

Rant over, take care of yourself :)

That's absolutely ridiculous ccsays sorry you had to go through that on top of how you're feeling at the moment too. Really awful.

Feeling a lot more prepared after this week- pram arrives Saturday, and thanks to tesco's baby event we now have nappies everywhere & other essentials in and ready

God ccsays what a cow of a doctor! Hope you feel better soon

Off for a long weekend now, feel a bit of a lazy mare as went home sick on Monday and stayed off Tuesday but I've had these 2 days of leave booked off for ages. It's DPs birthday on Monday (40th ha ha!) so going to try and get him something nice tomorrow. And iron the mountain of baby clothes I've just washed, it's been so cute seeing them all hanging up drying around the flat!

Wow shrubs and clare you're so organised! I haven't got any baby stuff out! But then we need to empty the office (soon to be nursery) before we can get any stuff down from the loft! Hopefully I'll be able to do more once Dc1 is at school full time next week (he's only just started and the 2 hours a day - well one really by the time I've dropped him off and gone to pick him up- are not long enough to get anything done!!

Aaw, thank you so much everyone and thank you carole, I teared up a wee bit when I read that. The more I think about the appointment the more pissed off I get, so I've written a complaint letter to the practice manager to politely accuse that doctor of being an incompetent arse:

...At one point in the appointment I considered simply leaving as it was causing me so much distress. I feel that her approach to mental health is extremely insensitive and that her questioning of me bordered on aggressive. As a result of this appointment I would not see her again, as I don’t feel she has sufficient skills or training to deal with those suffering from mental health issues....Therefore, I am writing to you bring Doctor O’s poor practice with regards mental health to your attention in the hopes that you will discuss it with her to prevent such incidents from happening again in the future and if necessary, provide her with further mental health training so that she can provide a higher standard of care to patients suffering mental health issues who attend your practice.

Oh and also this happened:

...when I explained to her that part of my anxiety was caused by worries about any possible problems with my pregnancy or the health of the baby she asked me if there was any history of anything like that in my family. When I explained that my great grandmother had had stillborn twins, she asked ‘but you weren’t around for that?’ When I said no, she said ‘so that’s just what people have told you’, a comment which I found both insensitive and upsetting.

Seriously though, what the actual fuck

Anyway, on a lighter note, I've found baby stuff in the house multiplying when I've got my back turned too shrubs and clare My aunt dropped off twelve(!) packs of baby wipes this weekend, so she will definitely be one hell of a clean baby.

Ccsays, you have written a good note. I would try to fit in the word mindfulness somewhere. It is an official term and following the IAPT figures that were published the other week, it has recently featured in the press highlighting how mindfulness is mamaged in each area.

I have just changed the order a little and added a few bits, I hope you don't mind, but please feel free to ignore my suggestions.

Mindfulness refers specifically to anxiety and stress, minor depression etc. I am not clinical but had to work on press responses to these results so learnt a little bit about it.

BTW - if you had been there when your grandmother had her sad day, you would be able to time travel, and then you would be able to check the future and wouldn't have anxiety! What a ridiculous thing for her to say.

I am writing to you to bring Doctor O’s poor practice with regards mental health to your attention in the hope that you will discuss it with her to prevent such incidents from happening again in the future and if necessary, provide her with further mental health training so she can provide a higher standard of care to patients suffering mental health issues who attend your practice.

At one point during a recent (date) appointment I considered simply leaving as it was causing me so much distress. I feel her approach to mental health and minfdfulness is extremely insensitive and that her questioning of me bordered on aggressive.

An example of her unprofessional management of the appointment was when I explained to her that I felt part of my anxiety was caused by worries about any possible problems with my pregnancy, or the health of the baby. She asked me if there was any history of anything like that in my family. I told her my great grandmother had had stillborn twins, and she responded ‘but you weren’t around for that?’. When I said no, she said ‘so that’s just what people have told you’, a comment which I found both insensitive and upsetting.

I will not see her again, as I don’t feel she has sufficient skills or training to deal with those suffering from mental health issues and question her her professional ethics.

As a result of this appointment I felt a greater sense of distress and I was astonished by her approach to my concerns.

I hope you are able to take my concerns forward and look forward to hearing from you.

Kind regards,

ccsays I would contact your midwife and ask for a referral to a peri-natal mental health nurse. I got referred to one and it's been good. Ask for a different Doc for a second opinion and then raise it was the practice manage (you can write a letter for this too)

stom I feel similar - most of my friends are guys or bloody miles away and my parents live 150 miles away so at times I feel so isolated

Once I stoppped having to hike around five different classrooms, the day perked up and evening marking has just finished, so I have a couple of spare hours with a boxset and some baby internet shopping - any ideas on good nursery colours?

Hi all, can I join the grumpy club too? I've been feeling pretty miserable and fed up recently caused by various things, and am seriously out of sorts

Can I ask how long everyone is taking for maternity leave? For various reasons (mostly financial) it looks like I will probably be returning to work when the baby is about 4.5-5 months old, and I'm already worrying a little bit about how I'll feel about going back and leaving the baby. It feels like everyone else in the country takes a year off, which I'm sure is not actually the case!