Graduated Elerberries - 30+ and expecting DC1 (thread no 4)

[HazleNutt]

Welcome old and new graduates and everybody else who wants to join us, elderly primigravidas aka Elderberries.

I've gone from 32FF to 36G and now luckily shrunk back to 34G/GG. Trouble is, there's pretty much nothing available after an H cup even in nursing bras, which is ridiculous really, as so many women would need them, if they have been measured correctly.

By the way, Cavort, did you pull the measuring tape tight when taking your underbust measurement? You say that has not increased, but you look about size 10 on your pre-preg photo, and at that size, you're more liekly to be about 30 and not 34.

I was quite excited as I've gone from a 32c to a 32d but not sure if they'll grow any more pre-baby. A cup size a month could get a bit alarming!
Pls tell me the moodiness gets better in the second trimester. DP & I are just arguing all the time as I'm either a total grump or a weepy mess. I did try pointing out that I'm not having the easiest time at work at the moment either & about to potentially end a career that took 10 years of my life but he's being an unsympathetic bastard difficult.

frog I would nto worry about the boobs, mine grew pretty much overnight and then settled down.

As for the DP, can you get him a pregnancy book or something, where it is explained that we are incubating a new life here and therefore, whatever the pregnant woman says, goes. No matter how irrational.

Hazle I have tried on bras with smaller bands in the past and they just feel too tight around the ribs, even with a bigger cup size, so I tend to end up in a 34, but yes that makes me a 38 by 'traditional' bra measuring methods which would be ridiculous when I generally wear a size 10 top. I think any previous history of bra sizes gets erased post-pregnancy and I will have to go back to square one and see what my new size is when they settle down hopefully bigger.

If you have gone down in size have you also lost weight or just bra size? My Sister lost weight at the end because she said she could only eat small portions as her stomach was so squashed, but I am eating more than ever.

Frog I don't think I have been any worse than normal particularly moody but I have become more emotional in the third trimester. I have been torturing myself watching some OBEM's on Netflix and every time the baby comes out I start filling up, and the song I walked down the aisle to came on the other day and that also made me a bit teary even though it didn't have that effect on my wedding day. From reading threads on MN, I think it's completely normal to become a right moody cow irritable and emotional while pregnant and your DP needs to understand and cut you some slack. You are growing him a baby after all.

My 'lightening' cervical shooting pains went into overdrive last night and were sooo painful. I nearly had to pull over while driving so I didn't risk crashing while getting them. I hope this means she's further engaged, although my bump still isn't lower. I am seeing my MW at 3 so fingers crossed the pain wasn't for nothing.

How is the first morning of your ML going Janey?

Hmm it's an idea. I could try but not sure he'd read it. I'm sure I've seen one recommended on a thread somewhere. Stupid thing is that of course it's not the first time he's been through this but allegedly his ex showed no emotion at any time & pregnancy was no exception. Just great to be second to someone who breezed through. Either that or he's forgotten about it after 9 years. He did say he couldn't really remember going to the first scan.

Frog I think it's fair to assume he's just forgotten after 9 years. I was my Step Sis's birth partner 7.5 years ago and it's amazing how much you forget, even when it's something so traumatic/memorable. Your DP is very naughty comparing you to his ex in any way though. No wonder he thinks you are moody, I would also be moody if my DH did that in any circumstances, let alone on the sensitive subject of pregnancy. What next? When you start feeling fat will he be telling you how his ex hardly put on any weight? Men are odd creatures at the best of times but I think a preemptive chat about tact might be a good idea.

frog I got my DH this one www.amazon.co.uk/Pregnancy-For-Men-whole-months/dp/190541062X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1370853745&sr=8-1&keywords=pregnancy+for+men

cavort unfortunately no weight loss, but since baby moved lower, my ribs have shrunk. I also could not eat much when he was right under my ribs, but have more room for food as well, that I'm mostly filling with ice cream and cherries.

Mmmm, Ice cream and cherries.....

Poor you cavort with lightening cervix. I'm getting a lot more random pains now too, guess it's all part of the torture build up...

Day one mat leave going well. House is an absolute shit tip so instead of worrying about bringing a baby into it in under three weeks, I'm tidying and hoovering the lounge. Refusing to leave a face the chaos outside of this room! Oddly I feel massively guilty about not being at work and "pulling my weight" - DP is being fab and has been texting me to remind me to take it easy, but I feel ok so that feels a bit lazy...

(Although actually I am a bit tired today after seven and a half hours in the car yesterday to check out a wedding venue and see my nan in hospital)

Janey, just for you I've added a photo of how my upstairs landing looks at the moment just as encouragement that your house is probably not as big a shit hole as mine is. Don't know how clear the photo will have come out but basically we're lacking some fairly essential walls at the moment...

Ok

Gah stupid phone!

Photo wrong way up but basically we've had to knock most of the bedroom wall down from the box room so it's all open and you can fall out if the bedroom and down the stairs from quite a height.

Poor you Janey and Purple. You both seem to be very calm in the face of adversity, I think I would be quite stressed if my house was upside down with a baby due in a few weeks. I already feel like we're in a big mess with the decorating and that's nothing compared to what you two have going on. I take my hat off to you both.

Crikey Purple that's a bit hairy!

Fx it's safe soon...

Morning all.

Frog the rage calmed down for me in second trimester, but also htink that DP got better at dealing with it and I got better at directing the rage at other things and not him. We have the occasional blow-out, but it's now over pretty quick, first tri fallout could last a day or longer for us

It also helps having a visible bump - I think it's triggered something in his brain to make allowances, prob the same thing that's shot his libido to bits tho, dammit!

Totally out of order for him to compare you to ex though, esp as it was so long ago. My DP would never do that, although occasionally talks about how easy it was to look after his son when he was born - they bottlefed so he slept thru the night very easily, was very docile in general and labour was done and dusted in a handful of hours. This was 11 years ago, so there may be an element of amnesia at play here.

Saw our friends who had their baby at 36+4 on Friday... Seems that she had one of those soap opera labours... waters broke in a supermarket car park at 2pm, contractions started 30 minutes later, baby arrived before midnight after just 1 and a half hours of 'established labour'.

She said it wasn't that bad though, and that she actually weirdly enjoyed the pushing phase (the word orgasmic was used).

Oh something else I wanted to share, I think I'm slightly weird. Newborns are supposed to be like kittens, that everybody goes squeeeeee.... and most women describe how they become instantly broody whenever they see a baby, any baby.
Saw friend's 2-week old this weekend and even though I will have one like that in the very near future, I still didn't really feel much. Was more like "well, that's a nice looking, quiet model..I think we can handle one of those, right?".
Were you all totally into babies before you decided to TTC? Or at least now?

No Hazle, I'm not into babies at all, they do nothing for me, I thought it was just me! Hand me a puppy or a kitten and I'll coo over it but babies not so much, I'm assuming my own will be different although I still expect I'll be more interested in the toddler phase. Newborns are just so boring.

I've never been too fussed about babies and spent my (mostly single) twenties thinking I didn't want any. Then I met DH and suddenly heard how loud my clock was ticking and suddenly wanted a baby, which really took me by surprise. I'm still open-minded as to how much i'll enjoy it though but I think I would have regretted not having any to find out.

I agree, newborns are dull. Although I have to say my Nephew is so cute I could just eat him which I have never felt about a baby before so my mindset must have changed with ours on the way.

Lol Hazle I was always mildly scared by babies, thought I'd drop/maim/do something terrible by accident to them. This changed a bit when a friend had her youngest about 2 years ago. I felt strangely comfortable with her sat on my lap aged 4 months or so shoving my hand into her mouth (she was teething) while we continued to have a moderately normal conversation.

Not seen any little ones recently (well, not to hold, anyway), but will meet our friend's tiny tiny bundle in the next couple of weeks I reckon so will see if I can handle it bit late now if not

I also have a thing about ugly babies. Lots of babies aren't really that cute. Of course, all elderberry babies will be, but really, I think there's such a thing as baby goggles judging by some people's reactions

Puppies and kittens are different. I really, really wanted cats. And I really, really wanted dogs, was massively excited when we decided to get the puppies. With this baby, was more like 'Hm, people have them and I can't find an excuse not to..'

Ah I'm probably just panicking as it's the PFB, the great unknown..and it's getting close now.

Ahh the ugly baby worry. I also have this as Nephew is super-cute and our baby will no doubt be compared to him (I have uploaded a photo so I hope it's not just me being a biased Auntie thinking he's cute). I really really hope ours is not an ugly one.

Aw he is cute Cavort - and still in awe over your bump pics, wow, you look great!

I spent Friday night having lots of DP's friends patting my bump (I let them, and strangely didn't mind too much) and everyone telling me they think it's a boy 'because I'm so neat'.

Was also quite sweet as DP was in amazing form (well lubricated by the booze, it has to be said) and we just had a really fun time - just what we needed. I also overheard him telling one of his mates that he was really excited about the baby and everything

I'm pretty sure we will have the new parent goggles on and will genuinely believe our babies are the most gorgeous ever, no matter what they really look like.

That scares me - I always accidentally judge when I see an ugly baby on FB, and think I wouldn't post any pics until they looked less horrendous much cuter. But what is my baby is awful, and I'm blind to it? And I post pictures thinking he/she is gorgeous, when they're clearly not?!

Do you think those of use due soon are starting to panic a bit?!