Graduated Elerberries - 30+ and expecting DC1 (thread no 4)

[HazleNutt]

Welcome old and new graduates and everybody else who wants to join us, elderly primigravidas aka Elderberries.

I don't think I'm panicking but I do feel really, really low at the moment, hopefully it's just some stupid hormone rush and will quickly pass.

I'm not worried about having an ugly baby though, no way any child of mine will be anything other than gorgeous...of course, all the rest of them seem to look like hairless monkeys to me but mine will be perfect

Yours will be purpley perfect, guaranteed

Sorry you're feeling low though... Anything specific? Feel free to share, I'll get a ready...

Cheers Brave. It's nice to hear when I feel like a whale with sore hips (do whales even have hips?) Nice to hear that your OH is excited.

My friend's baby is not very cute and she often jokes about it so i'm not sure everybody wears new parent goggles. Her first baby was also not very cute and is now a pretty 2 year old so ugly baby does not necessarily mean ugly child, which is reassuring.

Janey I have been quietly panicking for several weeks already and it's definitely ramped up a gear since finishing work.

Purple

Poor you purple. A few weeks ago I felt really down for absolutely no reason I could put my finger on (poor DP bore the brunt of it!) but feel totally fine again now - hope it passes quickly for you too.

Cavort - I agree that finishing work is making it feel more real. Argh!! Less than three weeks to go

Thanks guys, I just feel a bit isolated at the moment I think.

Relations are slightly strained with Mum, my best mate is a bloke who seems to have been completely unable to relate to me since I've been pregnant and when I met him for lunch on Saturday spent the whole time looking at his watch. I've only got a few days at work so I feel really 'out of it' with all of my colleagues, OH is useless at the best of times and I seem to spend all of my time putting a brave face on it because nobody really wants to hear that you're in pain all the time do they?

You lot are the only thing keeping me sane! I'm sure some of it is hormone poisoning as I'm usually more positive than this but I think the prospect of finishing work is actually quite worrying me.

Phew, long rant sorry but I feel better for letting it out.

purple hopefully it'll pass, but until then, moan as much as you like here! And no need really to put a brave face on otherwise either, you're heavily pregnant, people expect us to complain.

Thanks, I hate being whiney but I've been suffering from SPD/PGP for nearly 20 weeks and have been in constant agony (and I mean agony not just a bit of pain) with my back for about the last 6/8 weeks as well. I'm pissed off with it! I've had enough! I'm NOT fine even if that's what I keep telling everyone, I'm at bloody breaking point!

If OH tells me 'never mind, not much longer' as I writhe in agony one more time I'm going to fucking punch him! (Even though i know he means well) Another three weeks is a bloody long time to be in this much pain when the only pain relief you've got is crappy paracetamol which might as well be bleedin smarties!

You know, I feel better already

can you go swimming? You don't actually have to move (I think some styles are not recommended with SPD anyway), but a lot of people have said that they are only pain-free when they're in the water.

On that note I shall take myself off to the supermarket in search of cherries and ice cream, it sounds like an excellent cure to me

Purple I second what Hazle has said about finding a pool to float around in for a while. You have done amazingly well to have spent half of your pregnancy in loads of pain and have hardly moaned at all. Just let it all out and tell people the truth rather than saying you're ok. These common pregnancy complaints are swept under the carpet all too often. Not long now though

I asked about the sweeps and apparently not done here. In a way good, one less decision to make.

Considering that I've eaten 3 kilos (really) of cherries over 2 days, it's not totally reasonable to go get some more? Wondering if one can get cherry overdose..

3 kilos over 2 days??? Nah, go get some more! They're much better than the gallons of ice cream i'm getting through.

I've always been adamant I would decline a sweep after too many stories of agony, but now it's getting close and I want her evicted I could be tempted.

I do really, really like cherries

Hazle my best friend from school who I've known for 25 years is the most sensible, emotionless (to the point of a complete lack of sensitivity & empathy on occasion), practical, unsentimental person I know. She gave birth 4 weeks ago & has turned into a gooey mess who is madly in love with her baby even though she readily admitted that before she could not get excited about one at all. She thinks that she is the most attractive baby around when in fact everyone says she looks like her dad (who is strange looking). If she can be turned into a doting mother than anyone can. It is like she has had a personality transplant!

Oh & I've bought that book for my DP. It shows willing even if he doesnt' read it.

Has anyone read the relationship bolsters on thread of the day by the way? I don't think any of the posters on there were pg & moody. It made me feel v & also .

purple or maybe - no harm now perhaps? Got to be the least used emoticon on the pg forums!

Purple I second what Cavort and Hazle said - you've had a really rough ride this pregnancy, there's absolutely no way you should feel bad about moaning.

It's bloody hard work for even the most unafflicted of us upduffed so I cannot bear to imagine how tough it must be for you, especially with your house in chaos and your DP not being as supportive as you need him to be...

If the only thing we can do is recommend swimming, cherries and a blank screen for moans then please feel free to use the latter at least!

I've just had my DP text me saying he feels really ill, and that every time he burps it has sick in it. I replied that I'd felt a bit off-colour, but just put it down to being upduffed and/or vitamins - sickburps are more or less a daily occurence in Bear world these days!

Good news at MWs Cavort apart from the sex and sweeps bit Fingers crossed you won't need that appt! I'm off to GP for 34 week check in the morning, followed by whooping cough jab.

Tsk no bloody cherries at the supermarket! Do they not know I have NEEDS? Barstewards.

Genuinely, thank you for all your support, it really does help. I'm liking your thought on lounging in a swimming pool. Think that should be top of my list of things to do when my maternity leave starts.

If they offer me a sweep I'm taking it, I'm afraid I don't entirely trust myself not to weep hysterically at the consultant that they can do what they want to me just GET THIS BABY OUT NOW!!!! (I definitely won't once I'm there, I'll be all composed and reasonable) it really isn't much longer though...

DP and I were comparing people's babies at a recent social gathering and noticing how sometimes the truly beautiful babies don't stay as beautiful when they are toddlers, and likewise some really ugly little buggers even out later on!

Purple you have all my sympathy. Being in pain for long periods of time really takes it out of you, you poor thing. You have reminded me I need to make a preventative appointment with my osteopath to put a plan of action in place hopefully before my buggered back gives in.

Some babies just need a bit of time I grow into their face, I had a kitten like that once, looked like a funny gremlin when she was small, beautiful now.

You might be lucky with your back Quod - being pregnant hasn't aggravated any of the problems I've had with my back before, this is an entirely new problem which is all down to extra weight and where it is so if you've got a pe-existing back problem it doesn't necessarily follow that you'll have back problems due to pregnancy iykwim?

I do hope so Purple, but one of my back issues stems from hyper mobility which is a red flag for SPD. I also seize up if I don't exercise and stretch enough which I haven't been doing, so I want to be on the offensive about it and not take any risks. My osteopath (who I haven't needed to see for 4 yrs now thankfully) recommended that I come in if I fell pregnant so we could look at how we could prevent the weight changes affecting me badly. I'm willing to do anything that has a chance of reducing future back pain hell!

I have relatively mild SPD Quod (at least compared to poor old Purple anyway) and it's stopping me from doing a lot of things now and is very uncomfortable. I think you are very wise to see your Osteopath in advance of it possibly developing if you are at increased risk.

Has anyone got any stretch marks yet? I haven't but have an increasingly itchy bump so wouldn't be surprised if some appear soon despite my vigorous bump oiling regime. Oh well, it's not like i'll be wearing belly-flashing clothes at my old age anyway.

Interesting Quod - I used to have hyper mobility issues (mostly with my knees) when I was younger (got much better since old age has seized me up a bit) wonder if that has made my hips worse? Your preventative measures sound very sensible though.

I haven't really got any stretch marks Cavort but I hear they often appear in the last couple of weeks so I'm not counting my chickens just yet. Especially since my mother who has spent MONTHS telling me how big my bump is has now decided its too small and I've got lots of growing to do in the next three weeks or the 'baby is going to be too small' yeah whatever.

Just one thing on stretch marks - do you really think oil etc makes a difference? I've heard of people oiling religiously and still getting them, and other people not bothering and staying stretch mark free! I guess it's down to genetics and how quickly your skin can generate new skin cells? Maybe I'll do a bit of bio-oiling to be on the safe side but I wonder if there are foods which help with skin, vitamin e maybe?

Getting annoyed about work - as I have a holiday coming up, people are putting pressure on for me to do my workload from those two weeks before I leave. And just been sent an email about another new project which is now scheduled for autumn which I've been told I can really get my teeth into but excuse me for not jumping up and down at the idea of a heavier work load yet same crap stat maternity pay right after plus because of the cervix stuff, I really don't want work stress. What a grump I am today Just waiting for my 16 week midwife app, not sure what they do in this one, guess I'll find out soon!

alex no idea if oiling or moisturizing really helps, but I'm thinking that it can't hurt either. Besides, my stomach gets quite itchy otherwise. I've used this one, as it's not greasy (and so far, no stretch marks. My sister got loads):
www.mamamio.com/us/pregnancy/must-haves/tummy-rub-stretch-mark-butter.html

I haven't really bothered with any kind of bio oil or moisturising 'routine' and so far, no stretch marks. I did have a few times when my bump got itchy for a day or two as I was having a growth spurt so would put a bit of body butter or something on it then but otherwise I haven't bothered I do think a lot of it will just depend on what your skin is like anyway but I suppose for a lot of people it at least makes them feel like they're trying to do something about it!

My MW said a person was more likely to get stretch marks if they had got them during puberty growth spurts, which I did but only a couple on my inner thighs which you struggle to see nowadays, but this makes me think I am going to get some. I agree Alex, i'm not convinced the oil will make a difference other then it makes me feel better that I am doing all I can to prevent them.

I also agree that you shouldn't be taking more work stress on.

I am so bored today! It's the Decorator's last day and he has glossed all the door frames in the hallway, meaning I can't shut any doors but need to somehow contain the dog. It's pissing down outside so I can't shut him out so I am stuck on the sofa trying to entertain the dog to keep him from getting dog hair in the paint. And DH is away tonight so I'm stuck with this all sodding day until it dries! And my SPD is too sore to take him on a massive walk in the rain. Bah!