December 2013 part 2.

[TakingTheStairs]

Just starting a new thread as we're starting to run out of room on the first. www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/a1716486-December-2013#38680515

Fluffy, look after yourself, doesn't seem good to be feeling so dizzy.

Lisba, happy birthday for yesterday! Sorry about the nausea, that sucks.

Midwife appt this afternoon, looking forward to meeting her. Slightly concerned that she may not be able to take bloods. Have the thinnest veins ever and even the blood donation service couldn't get any out of me...! (told me to bugger off and not come back) Wish the rest of me was that thin, haha. Ahh well, just have to wait and see...

Just checking in - hope everyone is ok.

Have the biggest grin on my face today - heard babies heartbeat this morning!! Just looking forward to the 12 week scan now 9 weeks 4 days today !!

morning everyone!

How exciting babyiwant that's fantastic!

does anyone know, can you hear the heartbeat just with a stethoscope?

those of you on full fat coke and sprite etc- don't feel guilty! I eat really healthily when not pregnant. Today so far I've had a pack of salt and vinegar crisps (worked WONDERS with my nausea) and now I'm eating a bowl of packet chicken noodles. I never eat that sort of stuff (I'm the type of person that never buys crisps or processed foods) but whatever works I say! I know it's only temporary....ok 9 months temporary maybe! I've found fizzy drinks work, also dry ginger ale is quite good as it's not too sweet.

might try some coke...coffee and tea aren't working for me either and I know caffiene is bad, but sometimes it's that or fall asleep trying to look after 2 kids!!

oh and babyiwantabump did you hear the heartbeat on a doppler or was it at a mw apt? how lovely- very jealous! I so want to know mine is ok...still have a week till mw apt then 2 weeks after that for the scan I guess...

Hi ladies,

Those of you wondering about heartbeats, I have heard our babies beat several times on my doppler. It's lovely to hear. We are 9/10 weeks.

In other news had booking in appt. this morning. I cried when she left :-(

I said I wanted a home birth (my husband doesn't think it's safe). After discussing my previous labours she decided to put me under consultant care and said it was 'highly unlikely' a consultant would give their blessing for a home birth :-(

To add to that - it got to the bit about 'mental health', I have a history of depression; until very recently I was on a high dose of Prozac as I hate how I look. I used to be really big and lost 5 stone by starving myself; after this I caught pneumonia and was put on steroids, from there I put on a bit of weight and went through stages of starving myself, binging, vomiting etc... The Prozac has helped, as has private therapy... When I got pregnant they said they had to weigh me - as part of my issue was constant weighing I said that was fine, but, I a) didn't want to know my weight and b) didn't want to discuss it AT ALL as I was doing well eating 'normally' - I know I'm 'big' (12/14), but any mention of weight and I'm petrified of going down the same route.

I explained this to the midwife.

Later on in the booking she said 'I know this may upset you but, your BMI, do you know what that is? Well it's very slightly above what we consider normal, so I need to tell the consultant that you're over weight and refer you to a dietician!'

She then wrote my weight down on a piece of paper and asked me to sign it.

I know I'm fat! That is why I have got so ill making myself sick, starving myself and binging - I hate myself! What's the point in my saying 'I have mental health issues regarding weight - I don't want to talk about it?'

I am halfway through a medical science degree - my issue is psychological, it's not that I don't know what to eat, it's that I hate myself and use food to abuse my body. I feel awful now. To add to that she also said 'you will gain weight', she brushed off suggestions of my eating less and when I said maybe I could not gain weight at all as I'm so fat already she said that wouldn't happen.

I feel awful :-(

Sorry for the long negative and selfish post.

Just really down now - husband suggested I start taking the Prozac again.

Sammy

Belated happy birthday lisba!

Holly- I'm at work with my steth round my neck and was about to say ooh ill have a check before realising it would involve hoiking up my dress right here in the canteen.. Maybe later but tbh wouldn't have thought would!

Kyz- I'm big into junk food. Salad is a no no for me. Had mcdonalds for dinner on Sunday as just the only thing I thought I could palate!

Mum- it's def needed sometimes to have a little lift to get through the day.. I've cut coffee so figure it's only the coke and the odd tea going in caffeine wise. Life goes on!

Having such a shite day at work. Been told this morning I can't have my handbag on the ward because of infection control but there's absolutely nowhere else for it to go. Apparently there's a room two floors down in the Hosp I can use. Bloody car park is 15 min walk away down a lane which is just lovely when you finish an on call at ten pm like tonight. Had an email reprimanding me for not attending a meeting I went to a month ago and clearly they've messed the records up. Saw occy health this morning- waste of an hour.. Said continue current on call rota til really struggling then get re-referred.

Grrrr.. Sometimes it's just the small things that drive you mad. Feel so unvalued.

Sorry- rant over. Save DH hearing it all tonight.

Holly - you won't be able to hear the heartbeat with a stethoscope - you can hear it with a fetoscope from about 26 weeks though ( its like a stethoscope but with a cone bit on the end)

And mum - I have my own sonicaid , as I'm a midwife. One of the perks of the job I suppose!!

I really wasn't expecting to hear anything - as it's so early on and we don't usually listen till about 16 weeks onwards so it was a lovely surprise !

Hi 5ammy, poor you, that's awful! What a cow! Totally out of order to write your weight down for you to sign after you've said you don't want to know and that it could be triggering for you. I'd put a complaint in if I were you.

But she was only doing her job - she probably felt awful about it too ! But BMI whether raised or low has a significant impact on the risks associated with pregnancy . She would only need to do it so that the proper care was given.

5ammy I think the midwife was wrong to do that, I agree with ccsays put a complaint in- sometimes midwives have no tac and no listening skills.

Mildred So sorry about work, have they done a risk assessment about your job and Pg, they are supposed to as soon as you tell them. I found counting down paydays until I went on maternity leave helped - it seemed so little in compared to days/weeks ( I even had a little tally chart under my desk to count down the weeks).

I have caved a brought a doppler - I am almost 11 and a half weeks so hope to hear something when it arrives.

Seems like everything is taking ages - I have my booking appointment on the 22nd and my Scan on the 28th - just seems like an age away .

Oh sammy, that sounds horrible. It's strange that she made you sign it when you had said there were issues and didn't want to know. Surely she could have just referred you without having to do that? I do get the point about her doing her job though. I'm just sorry that it has upset you.

I am feeling really down in the dumps. :( I am still struggling with my dizziness and I have a cold now too. I didn't realise how much I rely on cold medicine! I feel really rubbish and have got through 2 toilet rolls worth of tissue in just over a day. (On my nose, not my arse!) I was sent home from work yesterday lunchtime, am at home now and have told them I won't be in tomorrow. I had a doctors appointment at 4.30, but they have just phoned and cancelled it. The next appointment they have is Friday night, which seems quite far away.

I'm worried about going back to work. I'm struggling, it's so hard to control the kids when I'm ill. I had to come off the motorway yesterday morning to find a place to sit at the side of the road because I felt so dizzy. It can't be right that I have to do that. Now I need to wait until Friday to even talk to someone about it.

I'm so fed up.

(And thought your post was negative and selfish, sammy!)

Sorry guys.

Sorry the dizziness (and now the cold) is making you feel so crap ganet - can you ask a doctor or midwife to call you to check it's nothing preg related? I agree, Friday seems a long wait, struggling with kids etc feeling awful. My mum had a period of dizziness connected to an war infection (didn't hurt) so could be something like that... Or did someone mention under active thyroid? Wishing you well very soon. If it was me I'd have VERY low expectations of what I could do, would turn on the telly and lie on the sofa until I felt better.
Sammy I was so sorry to read your post - unfortunately some people's handling of anything mental health is shocking, shocking, shocking. I really would make a complaint if you can face it, if only to highlight you do not want any more insensitivity from the 'support' you're offered during pregnancy. It sounds like you've really struggled in the past but that you're now at a stage where you are able to eat well and look after yourself. Please don't let this set you back. Stay on track. Listen to what your body needs and don't give weight a second thought. I bet you're gorgeous x

Ear infection! Not war infection (!) sorry...

I do agree that it could have been handles differently though sammy. She doesn't sound like the most tactful of people !

Argh, thinking of you all Mildred, ganet and 5ammy, hope your days improve

I just had booking in appt and midwife was lovely, I mentioned anxiety / mental health issues and she was reassuring and sensitive. My bmi came out at 28 and she said 'that's fine', which really surprised me! 5ammy, do you have a supportive / sensitive GP you could talk to about your experience with the midwife? You deserve to be listened to and supported!

I told the midwife about my thin veins and sure enough, she couldn't find any blood. Have to go to the blood clinic tomorrow instead. Yawn, always have to wait in a queue there for about 2 hours...

Congrats to those who have heard heartbeats, so excited for you!

Thanks for your support guys.
The weight was taken when I was pregnant, before that my BMI was in the normal range - I got really bloated and said before they weighed me (I didn't look at the scales) that clothes were getting tight on my waist. She did say today 'you are literally borderline over your BMI' - I don't understand how I can be 'healthy' then gain weight during pregnancy to be told I'm unhealthy, but when I said I'd not eat as much she said it was normal to put on weight....

I have eaten reasonably normally today (so far) mainly as I faint if I miss meals - but all I keep thinking is 'I can easily manage on 600 cals a day again, I reckon I can still lose a bit of weight pregnant or not'.

I really can't face making a complaint! Feel like she'd just hate me more if I did and having a midwife hating you is no good :-(

Sorry to hear everyone is emotional and/or sniffly, may be its just the time of our pregnancy. Lots of immune system boosting vitamin C recommended :-).

Sammy

Fair enough 5ammy about not making a complaint, but please don't crash diet! Sounds like you are fine and healthy at the mo, for what it's worth my tummy is ENORMOUS, I'm due 13th December and reckon it must be that I'm showing early as it's baby number 2. I was surprised at how much weight I've out on, as apart from the tum (and boobs) the rest of me feels the same. Big tummy and weight gain is normal pregnancy stuff. Keep eating as you are! You will feel rotten, sick and faint if you starve yourself!

You don't have to see her again, 5ammy, you'd be perfectly within your rights to request a different midwife. The things she has said and done after you've disclosed an eating disorder show a complete lack of understanding and/or training on her part. Dealing with women on a daily basis she should really be a little more knowledgable about these things and how the things she say could be triggering.

Also, if you're having thoughts about getting by on 600 calories, you should perhaps contact someone, maybe beat? Living off that little wouldn't be good for you or your baby. It takes a lot to grow a person!

CCsays - I already see a councillor privately through beat - I'm seeing her tomorrow so I'll ask her advice. Would I be awful if said the worst bit was that the midwife is no skinny mini herself? Or am I just trying to make myself feel better?

Yogafan - I am also due on 13th December :-)

I think I'll go back to running and maybe add in some swimming - hopefully that'll keep some weight off and make me feel better.

Sammy :-)

Hi ladies

It is with regret that I have to get off this bus and leave you to your journeys

My symptoms (mild as they were) all disappeared five days ago, then on Saturday night I started bleeding and it has carried on for three days so far, like a light period, mostly brown but a lot of red too. The problem is that I'm in Italy on holiday, so I can't get checked out until I get back to the UK next week. But in my heart I know that there is no longer a little penguin chick in there.

It seems cruel for it to happen as late as 10 weeks. It is also cruel that it was Mother's Day here on Sunday, and when I went down to breakfast in the hotel they gave me a posy of flowers to "celebrate". I felt like bursting into tears, but just smiled and said thank you, then hid it under the napkin on the table.

But I can take a lot of positives from the experience. I really enjoyed being pregnant for a few weeks, it has helped DH and I get more mentally prepared for parenthood and also brought us much closer together.

So onwards and upwards. I wish you all happy and healthy pregnancies!

Oh penguinita :( I'm so sorry. Can you not get checked out in Italy? Your EHIC should cover you.

Sammy last time I only put on 10kg through the pregnancy and all but 2kg of that disappeared in the delivery room. I hate pregnancy for what it does to my body (although I'm hoping to make leave with that this time and celebrate having a bump) and I have enormous issues with food too so I have no practical advice or help but I do understand. You shouldn't have to see a MW who makes you feel like that :( there are much more sensitive ways of dealing with that information even if she does need an accurate record of your weight at the start and needs to make you aware that its something which will be monitored.

I am feeling utterly shit in the mornings. Found it so difficult to get up and out on time this morning, dreading tomorrow and Thursday, and then I'm going to see my parents so hopefully they'll give me a hand with DS. One can hope.

Oh penguin, I am so sorry to hear that. Look after yourself and try to enjoy what's left of your holiday x