April 2013 Part 7: As our miracle Alex continues to grow & the one that sees us reach TERM

[toobreathless]

Over here Ladies!

As the title suggests our fore runners will almost certainly hit 37 weeks this thread.

And the wonderful little Alex will hopefully continue to go from strength to strength and edge closer to the door home with Mama

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1658011-April-2013-part-six-what-does-the-third-trimester-have-in-store

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1560543-April-2013-stats-thread

Dysgu you are doing an amazing job xxx

Bird no other advice than has already been given but I do think deffo confront her. Like the others have said it can't get worse x

Now these pains down there I've had all day: is that purely from the walking and excursion today? It seriously hurts to move! Is that little man dropping down? He was on the brim last week.

Bird, I can sympathise as I have a difficult relationship with my mum too but we do live near her. She's ruined so many happy times after the last few years including the build up to my wedding so was determined not to let her ruin my pregnancy. She (as predicted) started to moan that she wasn't being included enough in the pregnancy and couldn't understand why despite many arguments (which of course were everyone else's fault but hers!) so in the end with OHs support I wrote her a letter, I spent ages trying to word it write. I basically told her my thoughts on how I wanted my life to be from now on and she could either get on board or I would be more than happy to cut her out of lives completely. I made it clear that a negative or nasty response to the letter would probably be the final straw in our already delicate relationship so she read the letter carefully before responding. It didn't work initially with her writing me a nasty email back but as I ignored it rather than give her the response she wanted she has started to respect our wishes a little more. I'm sure there'll be plenty more dramas to come but I feel a little more in control now having told her exactly how her behaviour makes me feel and that I just won't stand for it anymore.
I don't know if this would work for you? Laying out the ground rules clearly before you moved would mean that if she doesn't respect your wishes you could ask her to leave you well alone without you feeling guilty as she knew the boundaries and still chose to cross them.
Hope that helps, if only to know your not alone if nothing else x

Another swift update from me - Xavier Joseph Edward born 5.14am this morning. He's gorgeous and we are very proud.

Congrats floss! That lovely news, and must be a record for letting us know in record time!

Congratulations floss!

bird she sounds a lot like my MIL! DH copes with his mother by restricting the ways she can contact us- no personal mobiles or home phone. She tends to email him incessantly. He only got back in touch with her after 5 years without contact when I got pregnant. She refused to come to our wedding because we didn't meet her demands.

You could try laying down the law, I'm not sure how effective it is with that type of personality. I think the key is not giving into to her demands. Manx is big enough that I do think you could look to live near there without being geographically too close.

Trish I had the same after a busy shift on Saturday - DH was all set to take me to the hospital! Take it easy today and see how it goes. Probably just overdone it a bit!

35+0 wahoo! 4 shifts to work!

Congrats floss fantastic news! Enjoy getting to know each other :-)

Sorry for not name-checking others..on phone one-handed (hot choc in other hand, en route to work!)

Xx

35+4

Congratulations floss and what a cool name!

Congrats floss!!! We had that name I our boys shortlist!!! Love it xxx

Congratulations floss!

I wonder how bona is getting on? Hopefully she's had her baby and is cuddling him/her already :).

trish I have that pain too. Be careful with exerting yourself over the next few days. I find if I do a lot of walking I have to take it easy for 3-4 days after to calm the pains down. If possible have a sofa day with a good book/DVD box set :).

Did anyone get the snow yesterday? We had some but it didn't stick anywhere except in the hills. Thankfully we can drive out of town the opposite way and avoid them so we can finish off the hospital bag shopping today :).

Will do fluff xx it's excruciating :-(

Morning everyone,

Congratulations floss and welcome to the world xavier! Love the name and thanks for the super speedy update

Bona-thinking of you and hoping your cuddling your gorgeous baby by now.

Dysgu-glad to hear Evan is doing so well. You sound amazing, I have nothing but admiration for you.

Bird-I have no advice I'm afraid but masses of sympathy, I can imagine how hard it is when all you want to think about is your baby.

Fluffeh-no snow here apparently but my brother said there was over the weekend.

Alex is amazing, and so so hungry! The dr thinks it will be a week at most before he is good to go home!!! And the tube can almost certainly come out Wednesday. They stress they cant know about an long term issues or his sight for a while but he is doing great. He is feeding every two hour religiously about half a hour before he start to make these grumpy noises as if he can feel his stomach start to rumble, then if you don't preempt him by sticking in the boob he screams blue murder about 10 mins before the two hours are up! It's so cute.
I had physio and a scan yesterday I can now manoeuvre sort of on my crutches, the pain is incredible but worth it the scan is to see what is happening now the swelling has gone down, they are getting a bit twitchy that my right side still isn't responding very well, there is a chance the damage is permanent at this point. Tbh that feels ok, it sounds strange but I knew the risks and Alex is worth them, I know I can manage just fine whatever happens. The last of my dressings came off as well-the scarring is very impressive coco and ds1 had great fun discussing whether they tell people I was half eaten by a tyrannosaurus or a spinosaurus! I was so worried ds might be scared as i look different but he's not at all.

Trishstar- hope the pain eases for you, rest and crap tv called for I think, oh and chocolate!

Congratulations floss! What a great name, hope you are both doing well.

Thanks for the pain relief and breathing info toobreathless, giddy and dysgu it's really helpful.

dysgu you are doing incredibly and it sounds like you made completely the right decision re feeding.

bird, that sounds like a tough decision to make. Don't let your mum stand in the way of anything that is best for you and your family, easy to say I know. I agree with mrsS, setting clear boundaries might help.

It's my penultimate day at work today can't wait to get it over with!

Congratulations Floss!

Has anyone else absolutely given up? I am so tired from insomnia and (I think) I've developed PGP and I can't walk or even shift position without being in agony. I know I'm lucky to only have it now, but OUCH!

I feel terribly guilty as I'm relegating DD to the sofa for a cbeebies morning until nursery, but I have not one ounce of energy. Also, this DC has started to engage but is b2b so I was hoping to keep mobile and get him to turn - no chance! Even sitting on my ball hurts.

Sorry for the me, me, me post, but I'd forgotten how rubbish the last weeks of pregnancy could be!

37+3 (come on, baby)!

Congratulations Floss!! Lovely news.

Bird I would suggest forgetting about your mum for a minute, and consider what decision you would make if she were not part of the equation. What would be best for you, DH and baby?

Then, if the answer to that question is that you would move, that's that decision made.

Then think about how you'd deal with your mum. I'm no expert, and you would find some excellent advice on the relationships board, but in general the advice is if you cannot change people like that, you can only manage your response to them. So your mum would come to visit, regardless? Then don't be in, or don't answer the door etc, set very firm boundaries and do not let her cross them. I know that's easy to say and hard to do, but do not let your mum affect your decision. Make your decision, and if that then means dealing with your mum, there's lots of advice and help out there! Good luck!

36 + 4

sneezy your DD probably sees a tv morning as a huge treat, try not to feel guilty. Plus your bringing her a brand new sibling in a few weeks I'm sure he/she will be worth it. Although ican sympathise with not wanting to move. I honestly never thought pelvic pain could impact so hugely on mobility. Worse than this the nesting instinct just wants to clean and organise but my body is not playing along.

mama Alex is so cute! I bet he was worth every last struggle. He is amazing to think how far he has come. If its any help, even with sight problems, there isn't much you can't do these days. I can use my phone, a computer, get out and about and I managed to study too.
Hopefully his eyes will be perfect but even if they aren't u have no doubt that it won't stop him from reaching his potential with how much he has already proven :).

Bird I think angeltattoo hit the nail on the head with her advice. I have experienced similar problems with a family member in the past and have to agree that once you accept that they won't change and the only thing you can control is the way you react, it will make a big difference. It's taken me years to get there, but I'm getting there at last.
I think if you think about what is best for you, DH and your baby, you will know what you want to do, then deal with how your mum will factor into that later. Just take it one step at a time....

Fluffeh what a lovely post! It made me a bit teary reading that...

Congrats to all the arrivals! What wonderful news!!!

congrats floss and everyone else, sorry I haven't been congratulating as people announce but I am thinking of you all.

I love this thread, you are all amazing and thank you everyone for your advice. mrss I sympathise sounds like you had a similar problem and it's good to know you were strong enough to deal with it. One of my big problems is I hate confrontation and feel really guilty every time I argue with her but you're right I should start standing up for myself and my family and stop letting her ruin everything that's ever gone right in my life...
angel I love living in London and if my mum wasn't a factor I would definitely tell my DH to take the job as it's only a 2 year contract and in the long run it would help us to move away for a bit and save money as London is so expensive! I keep on thinking yes lets do it, but then I remember what it was like living near my mum. I guess having a supportive DH and a family of my own to think about would make it very different to when I was a teenager.
I guess I need to look at the long term rather then worry about the 2 years we're there and if she really upsets me while we're living there I won't feel so guilty to block her out if/when we move back to London. Thank you everyone, I find it really difficult in rl to discuss this with friends as I've spent years pretending to everyone my home life was fine so it's great to have somewhere to let it off....I'll keep you updated on what we decide. Anyone on here live in Manchester btw?!

37+2

I'm about 30 mins outside Manchester.

Its been busy on here! congrats to the new arrivals! Baby is 3/5 engaged. Having plenty of shooting sabbing cervix pains today.

37+4

Just another thought - if you do move, don't tell her

Floss fantastic news! congratulations. I am sure after everything you have been through it is great to finally meet Xavier!

For everyone having tiny babies, I just stumbled on this website while having a browse online www.earlybaby.co.uk/ - clothes and accessories for early babies.

Floss - congrats - I popped a message on fb as well. Take it easy and enjoy every moment.

I got back from hospital a couple of hours ago after having reduced baby movements the last couple of days and then this morning nothing, plus sudden pains under bump, more BH at the top, backache and loose bowels over the weekend (sorry, TMI!) so we went in for monitoring for an hour or so.

Typically baby started moving a bit when we got there and a lot when the monitor went on - I wondered if she could hear her own heartbeat echoing back at her. Things seem to be fine apart from i've an SPD diagnosis now (I guess it's good I lasted this long without) and have to have my kidneys scanned next week in case they are also swollen with all this edema/water retention swelling.

So glad that I'm working at home this last week then on mat leave from Sat. Counting the days. Might have a sneaky nap.

35w

Congratulations floss!

I'm having a lazy day! In a great mood and just waiting for oh to be here to open giant parcel and Moses basket from my aunt for baby (thought oh would like fun of opening baby pressies too!

Bump is going crazy today, felt like she was using her feet on my upper abdomen to push herself down whilst wriggling her head into my pelvis... Someone needs explain to her to wait for contractions!

angel already thought of that DH suggested it but then I would be to scared to leave the house incase I bumped into her

On a completely flippant note, has anyone been given anything that wouldn't have bought themselves and which you're really pleased with? Work want to buy my a gift which is lovely of them and I don't know what to suggest. We have all the practical stuff (mostly hand-me-downs from family and friends ), and I got a nice changing bag from eBay. Any ideas on more luxury / fun / non-essential but nice stuff?