April 2013 Part 7: As our miracle Alex continues to grow & the one that sees us reach TERM

[toobreathless]

Over here Ladies!

As the title suggests our fore runners will almost certainly hit 37 weeks this thread.

And the wonderful little Alex will hopefully continue to go from strength to strength and edge closer to the door home with Mama

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1658011-April-2013-part-six-what-does-the-third-trimester-have-in-store

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1560543-April-2013-stats-thread

Oh sleep bras look good for now - thank you :). I've just ordered a pack in each size. Hopefully we're going into Preston tomorrow so I can call in some shops and see what's on the high street for afterwards.

Maybe tmi here but my pelvis is killing me. It feels like its splitting apart. I also have what I think is cervical pain? It's stinging and burning.
I blame the baby haha! I think she's turned, I can feel her feet really low down kicking around. It's not comfortable. I suppose I can let her off this time lol.

Good luck floss and bona! Fingers crossed for quick, simple births :).

Oooh look at me remembering I'm like an elephant :)

Bonadea really hoping you get the most natural delivery you can and that the baby gets to stay with you rather than go to SCBU for a bit.

Can I give a teeny bit of Nursing bra advice? Don't buy too many before baby arrives (one?) and I strongly recommend getting a racer back sports type one such as this www.nursingbra-shop.co.uk/ShowDetails.asp?id=117 it starts at 32 and comes in a S/M/L (also do a plus version for larger cup sizes) etc which covers a range of sizes, perfect if you don't know what size you'll be and they are soooooo comfy! Also not too badly priced at £22.99 plus free delivery.

I have nothing but praise for the website too, they are brilliant, I have bought from them 4 or 5 times now.

DD napping :) :) :) and I am knitting. We have spent the morning swimming.

Good luck to Floss and Bona we are all thinking of you both!
Fab news for you too Mama to have Alex with you.

I had the most lazy weekend - I haven't felt this tired since about week 9. Seriously hope my energy picks up - 6 weeks of this will not be fun for me or anyone else around me. I did manage to pack my maternity bag though (it took about 20 mins of packing and 2 hours of just staring at stuff).

I was worried that my boobs had suddenly expanded till I checked my bra last night and realised I had been wearing the wrong one the last few days . I bought these bras a bit big so determined to make them last and get measured once the baby is born and things have settled down.

good luck bona and floss hoping for safe deliveries
mama so lovely to hear you have Alex with you now you must be so chuffed x

all ok here just a lot of pressure from baby in pelvic and bum area really makes me wince
ds is getting frustrated with me. hes not well and just wants to cuddle but the bump is in the way

hoping for a restful night tonight

Good luck to DonaDea and floss, you'll have your babes in your arms very soon.

Mama and Alex, you're doing so well - leaps and bounds. Home before you know it!

I'm grateful to be working from home for my last week to avoid the commute, so my swollen hands and feet are better for it and it's more relaxing, but been strangely tearful /emotional this afternoon and have had some really sharp pains shooting up me - is this the cervix pain some of you are talking about?

Other than that, feeling excited about meeting little one in about a month and feeling ready as I can be.

Sending positivity to floss n Bona!

Just walked about 3 miles to town and back and carried a little bit of shopping and I'm in agony now I'm back! Aching down there and little man feels like he's about to fall out!!

35+6

Good luck Bona and Floss I hope the induction works and you have nice smooth deliveries.

Trish be careful, you don't want to do too much. Feet up for the rest of the night please and be careful tomorrow as you may be a little achey.

It's my sisters due date tomorrow and I am really worried and upset about it all and have been having a good old cry I hate having to deal with this, it would be bad enough nprmally but when I am so close to giving birth myself it is just unbearable.

35+4

Aw jh I had wondered if your sister had baby yet, but wasn't sure if to ask, sounds like a really horrible and stressful situation for everyone.

I had a really long really hot shower earlier and been resting while oh fusses and runs around after me. Feeling a lot better in myself now though, still crampy but I guess that's just pregnancy (I started crampy too!)

I hope the inductions are nicely in progress now!

I will Vic! Underestimated how it would tire me!!! Sitting with hubby how watching tv xx

Best of luck Bona and Floss!

Thanks for the bra advice everyone, and for the labour encouragement.

Good luck bona and floss! Wishing you quick and smooth labours.

mama, it's so great to hear how well Alex is doing. So pleased you're rooming together!

Welcome and congratulations to the newbies. I hope all the new mums are having lovely cuddles with their little ones and everyone on the last leg of pg is doing well.

Re pain relief, I'm hoping to go for gas and air and a water birth but I'm keeping my options open and if I feel I need an epidural I'm happy to have one. The one thing I don't want is pethidine as I've heard so many bad reports and I don't like the idea of feeling out of it.

This may be a stupid question but does anyone know the difference between pethidine and diamorphine? Are they basically the same thing?

toothbreathless, did you mention co-codamol? Sorry if I've got mixed up with who said what. What is co-codamol and can you get it over the counter? I'm interested in anything that might help.

35+5 and just 2 more days at work before annual leave and then maternity leave!!

Ooh bona and floss how exciting, good luck to you both!

JH be selfish and look after yourself, I know it will be hard but don't let yourself too stressed. [hug]

My induction is due for my due date (3rd April) unless I get any more severe symptoms of pre-e. Protein in my pee is up to +3 now and BP still high. But apparently last weeks blood results show my kidneys and liver are still functioning well so no need to rush delivery.

Pethidine and diamorphine are both opiates- very strong painkillers. Diamorphine is probably better known bu its street name- heroin.

They are both given as injections usually into the thigh or bottom, by midwives. They tend to be used fairly early in labour as given too close to baby arriving they can make the baby a bit sleepy and 'flat'.

You probably won't get a choice between them, most hospitals use one or the other.

Diamorphine does have the edge over Pethidine as it is less likely to make you feel sick & probably better in terms of pain relief and less likely to cross the placenta and affect the baby- but they both can.

Other side effects (of both) include nausea/vomiting, drowsiness and possible impact on breastfeeding.

FWIW I didn't get on to well with Pethidine as it did nothing for the pain and stopped me being able to pace around which didn't help but some people find it a very effective stop gap for a few hours and then manage without an epidural etc.

HTH?

Apologies above for teapig

tea co-codamol ismade up of 2 drugs, paracetamol and codeine, and comes in 2 strengths, 8/500 meaning 8 mg codeine and 500 mg paracetamol per tablet, (can be bought over the counter) or 30/500 meaning 30mg codeine and 500mg paracetamol and is prescribed by a dr.

Pethidine and diamorphine are 2 similar drugs but diamorphine is stronger.

pethidine

diamorphine

I have had pethidine when I had a medical menageme for mmc and it had no effect on me what so ever, where as after my section for DS I had 10mg IV diamorphine and was completely pain free (was under a general anaesthetic so no epidural pain relief)
I think it depends on your tolerance to drugs, and everyone reacts differently.

Sorry xposted

Planning for pain relief is such a difficult task and you never know how you are going to cope. My MW also suggested that labour just be thought of as a marathon. She said it is probably the only time you are told in advance to expect pain but at least you get something fabulous at the end of it.

We did a lot of breathing exercises as she talked about the pain as being like a 'bell curve' so you breathe in 3 different ways.

1 - in between contractions you take deep breaths and imagine the air filling your lungs all the way to the bottom.
2 - when a contraction starts, you keep the breaths about the same timing but now you only breathe to fill the lungs about 2/3 to the bottom. Generally you would only need to be doing this for a minute at a time.
3 - at the peak of the contraction you try to keep the breaths to the same timing but they might naturally be a bit quicker as you only aim to fill the lungs 1/3 of the way to the bottom. Generally this breathing only lasts for up to 30 seconds.

Then you go back to breathing type 2 for up to a minute and you are back to normal breathing type 1 IYSWIM. If nothing else, it gives you something to focus on rather than the pain and can be done with the gas and air. I found it good to practice in bed at night as it is a good way to get to sleep in the early hours!

I know I did not spend a lot of time in labour with DS but this breathing method helped as the contractions came on very quick and very strong and I had nothing to help other than breathing whilst we waited to be able to leave for the hospital.

And, as everyone always says, the pain of labour is quickly forgotten otherwise everyone would be an only child. People generally say you forget the pain as soon as they place the baby in your arms, but with 2 of mine we didn't get to see them for over an hour as they were whisked off to NICU - and the pain is still quickly forgotten as I must have had the same 'happy hormones' pumping round my body.

warning I just need to have a little cry and ask for some advice...

my DH just got offered a job today in a graduate scheme. I should be really happy but I have big problem. The job is in Manchester, which is where my parents (divorced) live and at the moment we live in London. The truth is that we can't really afford to live in London long-term at the moment we're renting and if we live in Manchester for a couple of years we should hopefully be able to save more to go towards a down payment somewhere in London. It's the only job he's been offered so far and it's with a really good company so it's an amazing opportunity and I grew up in Manchester so I would have an advantage over DH that I know the place, but here comes the problem...my mum! I don't know if anyone remembers but a while back I had a moan about how much she was stressing me out. Basically she's a total control freak, but I mean that she seriously needs help not just she likes to be in control (which is why my dad who I get on with fine divorced her) and if things aren't done her way she makes life really miserable for everyone around her. I left home as soon as I could and moved to London and got a job here when I finished college and I've been so happy here since then, made friends and set myself up a life away from her. I still speak to her but it normally ends up with me in a really bad mood. When we got married a year ago she refused to come to the wedding claiming that she couldn't travel down to london for it as travelling makes her feel really ill and she spent the whole engagement emotionally blackmailing me to have the wedding in Manchester or she wouldn't come (which she didn't). Now when I'm due very soon she keeps on talking about let her know when I go into labour so she can come to London!!!!! I just get so stressed and upset by her, I really don't want her to be more a part of my life then she is and I know if we lived in Manchester she would pop round without asking first and expect us to visit her the whole time....DH knows how I feel about all of this and he really wants it to be my decision whether he takes the job as he doesn't want me to be unhappy there. What should I tell him, I want him to have a job and be happy and I know it makes sense to be able to save money but I don't want to live near my mum even for a couple of years......

sorry for the long long story, I'm just feeling very tired, emotional and achey, and any advice would be appreciated!
37+1

Poor you Bird. I can imagine that the situation brings on such a mix of emotions.

I know Manchester isn't massive but can you live at opposite ends of the city or out of the city and commute in (for example north Derbyshire or south Lancashire, depending on where your mum is)? At least that adds a bit of distance between you?

And this might be a silly question but have you ever told your mum how she makes you feel? It might open a can of worms worse than you've got already but it doesn't sound like it can get much worse so I wonder if you can make it plain to her how you feel and set some ground rules if you did move back? Perhaps it's time for you to be as demanding of her as she is of you?

I was going to suggest the same thing Bird re living outside the city and making it hard(er) for your mum to visit. Does she drive? If not, can you look to buy somewhere off the public transport routes? (On the assumption that you and DH drive and DH can commute into the city easily).

I also agree that it might be the time for you to be open about how she makes you feel. She must have some idea - especially considering that her control freakness was the cause of your parents divorce. I know it might make the situation worse, especially int he short term, but perhaps the outcome will be better than the current situation. Do you have any other family members who could help you get through to her?

Your DH is lovely to let you work through this and to decide if he should take the job but he really needs to be fully involved in the decision making. How will he feel if you decide he should not take the job? Could he be the one to advocate for you with your mum?

I hope you find a solution - this must be so stressful for you, especially when you are so close to having your baby.

Good Luck

Sorry bird I can't suggest anything different only offer sympathy as we know all too well what it's like to have a very difficult family member like this x

Today has been the first day since DS was born that I have not spent hours crying in fact there have been almost no tears at all

I did the school run (and it was getting the girls ready for school that led to the only tears of the day - DP had told me he had got their clothes ready before he went to work but he had only hung everything up in their wardrobes and I still had to hunt for everything, pack PE bags, spare pre-school clothes.... there were only a few tears whilst DDs were still eating breakfast when I started to panic that we were going to be late for school and that I couldn't manage!)

Anyway, we go there in time (and I bought spare PE clothes today so there will be no more panic about not being able to find the one pair of PE trousers and the one PE t-shirt).

And then I ran a few errands and spent the rest of the school day with Evan in the hospital.

He was asleep when I got there but one of his IV lines had been removed so that was a positive start. The doctors have declared that he just needs to grow and learn to feed before coming home but that he has no medical issues. He is coping much better at maintaining his own temperature and should be moved into a cot by the end of the week and will then be able to wear clothes - it is the small things that make a difference.

He was weighed whilst I was there and has dropped 70g down to 2.22kg which, I think he has gone down to 4lb 9oz. His liquid allowance goes up on Thursday so he will be getting more milk then - he is managing 12ml every 6 hours right now but is over the nausea medicine and is keeping the milk down all by himself.

He was able to stay out of his incubator for 90 minutes today which was lovely as I held him next to my skin for the whole time and he was awake for the first bit so we read the next bit of Sense and Sensibility He then went to sleep but it was lovely to see his eyes - they are actually a dark blue colour! We also had a long chat about the blackbird in the tree outside his window trying to attract a lady-blackbird

The big change is that I have made the decision to give up on the expressing. Being tied to the milking machine and getting nowhere was just too stressful and I was really struggling with everything. Now I have rationalised the decision and DP is supporting me and he spoke to the NICU staff so no one has mentioned it there and Evan is just going to move onto bottles and formula when he is ready. The girls are happier too as I have been able to play with them instead of constantly watching the clock to make sure I expressed on time (but was getting nothing so it was just taking up the time with no results) so things are looking up.

Sorry I have just gone on about me - and have not name checked this time.

dysgu its lovely to hear your news. sounds like Evan is doing well. total admiration for dealing with your two DD on top of everything else as well!

thanks bext and dysgu. I don't drive and would want to be living in a certain area that's near to places I know and a couple of jobs I have my eye on if I decide to go back to work, so it's quite difficult to live far from my mum and anyway when she's determined to do something she will so she'd come visit anyway! I tried confronting her when I was planning the wedding and she started off on a rant to me about how selfish I was being by not planning the wedding where she lives and I told her that for once I was doing things my way and I was very sorry if she didn't like it and basically we just ended up having a massive argument and I hung up on her so I know that approach won't work. She's in total denial that she's got any problems and blames the divorce on my dad being irresponsible and uncaring, but if you ask any family friends they would all say how lovely my dad is and how she has problems!!!!
It's just so hard to make such a big decision in such a short time especially when all I want to think about is the baby
but thanks for trying to think of things...I'll accept any sympathy going!!!

Aw bird I can't really add anything to the advice given, but it sounds quite delicate.

dysgu sounds like you are coping really well!