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November 2012 - the ten week countdown

999 replies

StuntNun · 04/09/2012 10:37

Previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1547119-November-2012-a-couple-of-early-arrivals-please-will-the-rest-stay-put

Stats list: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1485512-November-2012-Stats-List

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
ValiumQueen · 14/09/2012 13:05

Have been pondering over my boss saying I may not be able to move teams as I am on Mat Leave despite asking first. That is blatant discrimination and I am now fuming! Not sure what to do about it. A lot can change in a year. Unfortunately I do not think I put the request in writing. It may be handy to have a discrimination case to pull out of the hat if I need it. I think I will just let him dig himself a big hole. Not looking forward to asking about reducing my hours. I will keel an eye out for other jobs in the meantime as I think our services days are numbered.

horseylady · 14/09/2012 13:10

Vq what do you do?

StuntNun · 14/09/2012 13:12

I just had a sneaky cup of coffee and piece of chocolate and baby is going mental in there. Looks like he takes after his daddy - leave the coffee within reach and back away slowly!

Also just made an appointment with a solicitor to make a will in November. How grown up and scary is that!? I'm so silly I thought me and DH would make a joint will but apparently we need 'mirror' wills. I take it that means it costs twice as much? I asked my brothers if they would take the boys if anything happened to me and DH and they both said no! DH's older brother doesn't want to think about upsetting things like wills so he wouldn't talk about it, and DH's younger brother is still at university so he can't really take on that kind of responsibility. I'm hoping DH's sister will still be willing to take them all if anything happens to us.

Nervous don't worry about the low pain threshold. Mine is ridiculous, I can't even have splinters taken out. There are lots of different pain relief options available to you. You don't have to try and be a hero and have a drug-free birth. When you're in labour the midwives will assess how well you are coping and they will recommend what kind of pain relief you need. There are no prizes for having a drug-free birth, what matters is getting baby out safely.

I had gas and air/epidural/general anaesthetic followed by morphine after the birth for DS1 then gas and air/pethidine for DS2 so I think I've tried everything apart from TENS. With this DS3 I'm aiming for just gas and air (through a face mask though, not that stupid mouthpiece thing you see on OBEM, I couldn't work that with DS1). BUT if the pain is too much I'm going to ask for something else as soon as I feel I'm not coping as if you wait too long sometimes they can't give you pethidine/morphine if the baby's coming soon. If you think you'll need an epidural ask for one asap as it's always possible the anaesthetist will be called away to an emergency and not be available when you need them.

Please no syntocin drip this time. Please please please!

OP posts:
ValiumQueen · 14/09/2012 13:13

I am a mental health nurse specialising in addictions. I used to be a charge nurse, but am a staff nurse now (not bitter).

YellowWellies · 14/09/2012 13:45

Addictions you say? (hides crinkly mini cheddars, wipes chocolate off mouth)....

ValiumQueen · 14/09/2012 13:51

We deal more with alcohol, heroin, cocaine, valium etc. I can see in the future us branching out into food, but I would need to hang up my hat at that point Grin

ValiumQueen · 14/09/2012 13:52

Tell me more about your chocolate YW pleeaasee!

YellowWellies · 14/09/2012 14:00

A gurt big bar of Montezuma's white chocolate goodness.... which a friend left kindly for 'adding to the fat stores' for preggo lady working from home / doing house viewings / idling on MN. DH doesn't like white chocolate. (snarf...)

ValiumQueen · 14/09/2012 14:02
horseylady · 14/09/2012 14:06

Rewarding job!! Like many nhs departments, mh is taking a fair beating if our referrals are anything to go by (or attempts at them!!) thank god for macmillan is all I can say!!

ValiumQueen · 14/09/2012 14:12

Unfortunately the rewards are few and far between, but when they happen we rejoice!

Tell me horsey is it dangerous for a horse to lay down? They sleep standing up I think. My eldest has developed a bit of a fascination with the critters since watching 'Horseland' on telly.

DesperateHousewife21 · 14/09/2012 14:14

It def is one of those days today, im exhausted. Ds kindly let me have a sleep on the sofa while he ate crap food and watched tv. I have no energy to take him out. Meant to be seeing a friend but she's got an errand to run and will prob be home too late for me to drag my arse there.

I also haven't got a meal for tonight and we're £27 into our overdraft so really trying to avoid using the account. Will prob be a random meal of chips and beans and anything else I can find.

ValiumQueen · 14/09/2012 14:20

Just been onto HR and they recommend I get everything resubmitted. Proof of delivery means nothing apparently. I always scan everything, but on that occasion I was worried about missing the post office. I could kick myself!

Lane81 · 14/09/2012 14:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

horseylady · 14/09/2012 14:31

Mine lays down all the time. Well my big horse does. She gets very very tired. My pony used to get down at night for a bit.

If they can't get up it becomes dangerous. That's when colic and big vet bills happen. But yes, they do lay down.

Thechick · 14/09/2012 14:38

YellowWellies my birthday is 7th Nov and baby due 18th, Im one day ahead for both. My DH is 15th Nov, so lots of Nov birthdays in my household.

MM1 I have low iron too, but unlike horsey I keep forgetting to take the luctulose, really must remember. Do you guys have to take the iron tablets 3 times a day?? And were you told to take them with food or without. Midwife said with food, dr said on an empty stomach!!

applepieinthesky · 14/09/2012 14:49

Yep there is definitely something in the air today but hey, it's friday! Smile

Just back from my midwife appointment and the baby is fine. A strong heartbeat of 138bpm and I'm measuring spot on for 31 weeks. Only slight concern is my iron levels have dropped quite a lot. She said they are still within the normal range but at the lower end so lots of red meat and green leafy veg for me. Also because of the big drop she said I'll be feeling quite tired which I have been this week. I just thought it was normal to be tired when you're 7 months pregnant and working full time. She said baby is head down, not fully engaged but in a good position for this stage so I'm pleased with that.

VQ That is blatant discrimination and sadly a lot of it goes on but the problem is proving it. I want to cut my hours down when I return to work and I'm worried in case it gets turned down. When is the right time to mention it and how can I improve my chances of getting it agreed?

MissMummy1 · 14/09/2012 15:13

Dark chocolate is also lower in sugar, right?

Definitely something in the hormone pool today. I had a massive argument with DH at lunchtime about him being a controlling bastard and making comments about every bloody thing I eat. He conveniently forgets sometimes I had severe eating disorders through my teenage years and it's a bloody miracle I eat properlyish now anyway without some dickhead idiot running me down about it. He thinks he's helping. He's not. I stormed out the house knowing fine well he needs the car to be within 10 mins as he's on call and drove into edinburgh. Have blown £150 on his credit card buying baby things he's been promising to buy for weeks and now I am the one feeling guilty. And rather childish. But still too angry to go home. Arghhhh! Sorry for ranting. I know I'm the one being totally unreasonable as he's only trying to show he cares in his own stupid way. I hate the fact my hormones are turning me into a shouty(er) grumpy(er) nightmare Blush Sad

YellowWellies · 14/09/2012 15:27

The hormone pool. Good term. :)

Hope you're feeling better.

If he's been controlling your food, anyone with a history of eating disorders would find that impossible to cope with - that's not you being unreasonable. It might be how he has shown love in the past but it's not appropriate now, no matter how good his intentions. Hopefully the row (and the credit card damage - full respect MM1!!!! ;)) might have taught him that he might have to show love in other ways.

When you are self conscious about your figure or weight (and let's face it when you can't see your own toes it's hard not to be) - someone trying to control what you eat (however logical that might seem to them) is the last thing you need. What you need is someone to accept you however you look - that's the best way to get confident.

I speak as someone who once had an arse of a partner who, when I was contemplating quitting smoking, replied that he'd probably rather have a partner with cancer than someone who was fat. Nice guy. I a size 8 oh and also clearly a totally stupid cow at 21 for being with him....

TheDetective · 14/09/2012 15:49

MM He IS being an arse. You are not being unreasonable! He is being even more of an arse knowing your had issues in the past. God, some people are stupid at the best of times! I don't think DP would even notice what I ate... he just gets what I ask for, and brings it to me so I don't have to hoist my fat ass off the sofa.

Now isn't the time to be worrying about calories and intake. Not unless you aren't eating enough! And judging by your pictures, you look perfectly healthy!

Tell him that he won't be allowed in the house when you are eating. He must sit outside until you have finished. Because then he can't criticise what he doesn't see!

My rant is mostly about my meeting with the supervisor of midwives yesterday. I would never ever ever be so patronising to someone, even more so if they worked in the same profession as me! Oh my word.... I've been left feeling like an absolute nutcase. She asked me no less than 8 times to change the wording in my 'plan' because they were not happy with it. She had annotated it with words such as 'alarming'. I was hoping the meeting would be supportive. But no. The complete opposite.

She told me over and over again that if I call in labour and the midwives are at another homebirth, that I will be asked to go in to the unit. I stated that as is clear in what I have written, I will not be attending hospital, and that this is their issue to address, not mine. I expect to be provided with midwifery care as soon as possible if the above scenario occurs. She tried to get me to agree to go in. Said I have no right to a homebirth that they could provide an ambulance and that if I chose not to get in it, that covers them as far as they are concerned for legally providing me care. I didn't even bother arguing.

If it happens, I won't be going in. End of. She suggested an independent midwife. I said, have you got the 3k for one? I certainly don't!

Considering alternatives now

horseylady · 14/09/2012 15:52

Oh no to hormones but yay to good babies!!!! Mine has taken to sitting right where my waist is/was??!! Or at least shifting himself there then I prod him and he moves back.

Hope dh has sorted out his bank today otherwise well also be having words about finances as the agreement was baby comes along our money is pooled completely. He's now dragging his feet and I will not live off hand outs from him!! Right it's bloody windy and I was planning on hacking the horse out but I might ride in the field just to be safe?! It's really really windy!!

YellowWellies · 14/09/2012 16:00

Oh god detective. What a shitty response from your 'caregivers' (and I use the term loosely)... :(

Who has £3k for a private midwife - what a stupid thing to suggest.

horseylady · 14/09/2012 16:00

Detective perhaps they are being that way because you do work in the profession in an odd sense? Anyway, bad they're trying to get you agree to something you wound rather not have.

We've just had an argument over the phone about socks of all things. perhaps if he didn't hoard and helped pair the fucking socks ge wouldn't keep having to buy them I did say I was throwing out the two boxes full of socks!! Stupid man. He has started sorting his bank though....

horseylady · 14/09/2012 16:03

Ah the pigs in labour!!!!!

YellowWellies · 14/09/2012 16:03

In my view a partner has no right to tell you what to eat - doing so is in some ways, almost trying to be a parent or the boss?

Horsey - what is it with men and socks. DH ended up buying some black ones with different coloured toes (so black with green toes, blue toes etc) so now he can pair them :D I hate that fecking job.