November 2012 - baby shopping time has really taken off

[StuntNun]

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:)

Last day of my hols today :( my feet and ankles swelled up yesterday as we went on a bus ride round the island. Anyway back to normal size today has made me think need to maybe get some better support socks or something. Dh took the piss last night as I decided they would never go back to normal lol!! Today they seem fine!!

Very busy few days when we get back but will buy some paint as the whole house needs sorting really!!

Hope those of you with pains are getting them sorted. I feel quite lucky really. We've been walking a good 10km a day here and swimming so fingers crossed I can get back on my horse tomorrow!!

tits you're only 3 years older than me :) nice to have someone close in age!

Yes you read it correctly. I am very old (43) I was 18 and it was in the John Lewis sale - beautiful Beatrix potter cotton. Got the whole lot for less than £10, and put it in my bottom drawer.

I am clearly old enough to be your babies Grandmother.

Izzy what sad news, I hope you and your family are ok.

It seems to be a week for bad news. DP left me yesterday. Packed all of his stuff and has moved out. I feel so lost at the moment. :(

I'm so sorry SwissArmyWife. Was it expected? Can't imagine how hard it must be for you...

On a much lighter note... Potty training Day 2; first wee in the potty!!! I cried and DD asked if I was sad :) so I said I was very, very happy. Lots of praise, phoned Daddy at work, choc button, sticker.

DD then asked for more choc, I said when she's done more wee wees, so she's pulled down her knickers & sat waiting to do another one...

Oh I love Beatrix Potter! I think it's lovely that you've kept hold of it and your baby will have it, and so cheap! You can tell the difference from today's fabric, I have made. 6 blankets, cotton backed with fleece, everything from Noah's Ark, Dinosaurs (DP is a geek) Safari, Frogs, Owls and Fish. They look lovely but I had to go to Fabric Land to get anything near a bargain. That serves me right for giving away all the stuff I had for my boys!

Oh x post Swiss how awful, I hope you have someone with you in RL.

Swiss (hugs) hope you're ok? How horrid.

Izzy hugs too

swiss I'm so sorry for you :( if you want to talk about it we're here for you. Did you have any idea it was coming?

Oh swiss big hug from me too! If you need to chat, you know we are here for you, but as tits says, hopefully you have RL support - people who know you and DP.

tits I used to live near a fabric land, and really miss it. For fabric now I tend to go to Ikea or charity shops. I like doing patchwork quilts, I think they call it grandmas garden, all done by hand with little hexagons. I will be cutting up a few of the girls old clothes to add to it. My Grandmother left it to me in her will, so I am finishing it. It has some lovely 60s polyester in it, but I did not have the heart to cut it out.

Quite a few of you having 32 week scans then. It's definately just because it's an IVF baby, I wouldn't be having another otherwise. It's new hospital policy that my sonography friend mentioned had not long come in. I suppose it's good I get to see the baby again, although one more scan to try not look at the bits

Thanks Izzy for telling me your story. Good to hear some positives. I think it's my health anxiety making it worse, I'm fearful that a more medicalised birth will bring some of my anxiety/depression back. I'm already feelin myself get more panicky, I think a trip to the GP is in order.

It's also a bit annoying as all the IVF studies that the newer protocols are based on are on fertile vs non-fertile women. Where as ours is male factor infertility

I'm not talented enough to patchwork sadly, me and my little sewing machine can only knock out the simplest of things (blankets are very easy)
eBay is handy for fabrics, we have 2 local shops that are ££££ for anything so I only ever go for remnants. I used to have a business making Kindle/iPad covers when they were a lot harder to come by so cheap fabric in bulk was my lifeline.

Oh gosh Swiss, there's nothing I can say but send you positive thoughts and reiterate that we're all here if you need to get thoughts down on (virtual) paper.

And Izzy I hope things are getting a little easier for you and your family day by day.

Puts my minor grumbles into perspective xx

Ohh Swiss I'm so sorry to hear that. Has he said why?

Thank you ladies. One of my friends is coming over today, which after the morning I've had (throwing up, pgp and a very unsettled dd) will be welcomed.
We argued a lot, and it was at a point where we were always grumpy with eachother, yet we spoke only the other day (Sunday) about it and agreed to work hard at it to change things. I guess things didn't change fast enough for him because he said he couldn't do it anymore.

The bit that really gets to me is that he said he really does love me. I love him. This just wasn't supposed to happen. Now I'm going to have to struggle physically and emotionally for god knows how long. He said he would still help me and obviously there's dd to think about, not to mention the unborn baby. My head is swimming with so many ifs and buts and why's, and of course blaming myself for driving him away, as he said it's my fault.
A "I wish I could turn back time" moment for me.

Sorry for going on, I'm just so worried about the not so distant future.

Swiss I'm really sorry to read your news. But we are all hear to listen if you need to vent.

DesperateHousewife21 No they didn't say which hormone. They kind of brushed it over. I went in for my 20 (22) week scan and the lady that was doing it mentioned that they noticed the low hormone at the 12 wk scan that could cause a small baby and was surprised that I wasn't told. They did my 20 (22) week scan and the baby was dead bang in the middle of normal so she wasn't worried about the growth and she said I shouldn't be either and that was it.

Oh swiss I'm so sorry. It sounds like you do still love each other so hopefully you can work things out but know that doesn't help you right now. I'm glad you have RL support and please come and write to us anytime about anything. Sending you and a {hug} Take care xx

I too have a bruised feeling vag - sadly it is definately not through dtd! Glad to hear others have it too as I wasn't sure what was going on.

Brockle that sounds horrible. Is there any other way of getting to work or working from home? I had hip pains from about 16 weeks which ended up with me finding it hard to walk but after starting to do a bit of pilates it really helped and I'm hardly suffering at all now. BUT it sounds like yours is worse than mine so not saying it is a magic cure. If it helps the dvd I'm using is '10 minute solution prenatal pilates'. The woman gets a bit annoying and it hurts while I'm doing it!

swiss it is not your fault.

You are pregnant, and have a young daughter. Blaming yourself will not help you or your children get through the immediate future. He says he loves you. Hopefully if he has a bit of time to think he will realise just how much he loves you, and his little family. You say you love him. Think long and hard if you want him back, but from what you have said, I guess you do.

Pregnancy is hard for men too, but leaving you in this situation is a pretty un-manly thing to do. If anyone feels guilty or blames themselves, it should be him. My husband drives me potty, we argue, we find things challenging, but that is sometimes the case in all relationships.

I do hope you work it out soon, and without too much pain x

Sigh, i've not even had a cuppa today, i'm just sat here in my dressing gown moping while DD naps. Suppose I should get myself dressed really.

Valium We've gone through it a million times, how difficult it is for both of us, and I agree that him leaving me to cope on my own is not fair at all, and he replied that it was my fault he was leaving, so supposedly i've made my bed and will have to lie in it.
I'm in two minds about the whole situation, really. Maybe when the baby comes along he will want to try again, I don't know. Maybe i'll feel differently then, but I can't imagine i'll cope well doing it on my own with two, especially as there will only be 18/19 months between them.
I hope fate knows what it's doing, because I don't.

Anyway, thank you everyone for your support, at least I have my little baby to look forward to :) Thought now I don't even know who my birth partner is going to be, shit. Should I still have him at the birth?

swiss I am so sorry. You must be in complete shock. As has been said, if you both still love each other then hopefully this can be worked through. Maybe he needs to leave to know just how much he actually wants to be there. None of that makes it easier in the long term though. I hope you can work out a way of coping and focus on keeping you and your family safe and happy.

If you are not together and relatively happy, I do not think it would be a good idea to have him at the birth, but only you can decide that. Thankfully that is a way off yet.

You need to be eating and drinking as well as you can, even though you may well not feel like it, as your little belly dweller needs you to be as healthy as possible. Thankfully DD is young, so unlikely to understand what is happening, but she will know something is different, and mummy is sad. How is she?

You will cope. Sadly many women have to. Hopefully you won't have to though. Make sure you ask for all the help you need, and in time have a think about how you will cope financially. For the meantime concentrate on getting through one day at a time x

swiss I don't know if now is the time for making big decisions like that.

It is dreadful that he blamed you. It is simply not your fault.

I was also born in 1987

Swiss things could change by November so don't make any decisions now. Maybe have someone else on standby in case you don't want him there. You say you love him and he loves you so perhaps with a bit of space you can work things out?