Sneeze births! We shall BROOK NO ARGUMENT about overcoming any issues in our way! (part 10 yikes)

[NinjaChipmunk]

This way ladies

Actually my shopping contained a lot less crap than normal as I couldn't browse the chocolate and biscuit aisles with such ease with my assistant tailing behind. I was too to buy so much bad stuff!

Biscuits I'm actually now thinking it's a brilliant idea to get a member of staff to follow me round the shop post birth. Actually it would have been a brilliant idea to have an assistant follow me round the shop during pregnancy. I suspect I've single handedly kept Starburst in business since I got my BFP, I'm getting through at least 2 bags a week .

I find shopping with my mum has the same impact

Or even with DS now that he can work out what things are - especially if it looks like it might have some chocolate content!

Scream what a lot to think about - families are so complicated aren't they

You know once you're home, can't you just say that you can only feed comfortably upstairs - that gives you a ready made excuse to vacate avec baby?

Doesn't really work at the hossie. I know none of my family would want to be there when I fed so they'd bog off easily for me.

I suppose if they are that insistent and you can't dissuade them then trying to look for the positive you could perhaps try to nap while they're there? Would that even work - difficult with visitors I guess. But you'll be on your own overnight which will be tiring and then you've got the morning. At least you'll have someone to hold the baby if beed be while you eat your tea? But to stay from 3-8 is a bloody long time!

If it were me I think I would want an assurance from DH that if I was finding it too hard (too tired, hormonal, feeding, whatever) that he would ask them to leave. Or at least perhaps go for a coffee to give me a break for an hour?

And sorry to hear your BIL is being a problem again.does your DH mind him not coming to the house? If he's happy enough to just nip round with the baby I would leave it at that. Is he back in the country by chance or to See. The. Baby?

Is it worth speaking to the staff on the ward Scream? If you explain the situation then maybe they could help you. I'm sure they will have experienced this before. If you tell them you don't want visitors then I'm pretty certain that they won't let people in or at least seriously restrict them.

They are there to look after you and the baby, if visitors are stressing you out then you are not able to recover as quick and they will do something about it. I'm sure that there will be some there that are very good at bossing around dealing with overbearing visitors.

My family have already agreed to our 2 week ban on visitors when we get home, so in theory they shouldn't be knocking on the door then! It's just the hospital thing that has flared up recently. I desperately want to use the afternoons in hospital to sleep, because I doubt I'll get much sleep at night, and I think the mornings will be taken up with checks/catheters/showers etc. Sleep will be impossible with my family around though.

I know we're also going to argue when I kick them out so I can bf, because they don't understand why I won't bf in front of them. Mum thinks I should just throw a muslin cloth over, and they'll look away while the baby latches on I doubt I'll be that good at bfing when the baby is less than 24 hours old, and even when I'm a practiced bf'er I'm STILL not intending to bf in front of anyone other than DH, simply because that's my choice and that's what I think I would be comfortable with. I'm intending to express to get around this issue, but obviously that's weeks down the line.

I like Jen's idea of enlisting midwife assistance with limiting the length of the visits. I think it's hard for DH to have to be the enforcer when it's my family not his (plus he's on their side which doesn't help!).

BIL is coming to the UK for a month long course of some kind, not officially for the baby. The problem is he's only around for a month and 2 weeks of that is visitor ban time. DH isn't happy with not having him round, but DH is never happy unless BIL is actually staying over at our house and spending every waking moment with us!

Apologies for the me me me! This will work itself out. There's going to be lots of difficult stuff in the hospital - just moving around will be hard and getting used to looking after the baby. This is just one more challenge. Mostly I'm looking forward to getting home and having quiet time with just us 3 (so long as DH isn't constantly trying ti sneak BIL round!)

Ninja, I'm glad to see a fellow brooker is a crumpet fan! My LO is made of bananas, carrot sticks and crumpets... brooking your DS gets a much better offer school wise when it comes along, although a month seems like ages to wait :(

Scream, it's survived the first onslaught (a new wardrobe), but will have ordered new sofas and a fridge freezer by the end of the weekend, eek! Exciting though.

Well done with talking to your mother. It sounds like you've got somewhere, even if you're not all of the way there yet. I think Jen's idea of getting the ward staff involved is great - and also you could also say after they've been there for a bit, "right, DH needs to get his skin to skin time now before he has to go home too" so they a) can't hog the baby, b) DH gets time with it, and c) You can then point out that they might as well go home?

The BIL situation sounds annoying too - that your Mum is trying to get you to let him come round! You should definitely hold firm on that one!

Haven't decided what we'll be doing about family yet, other than letting them just get on with it! We're lucky that at our hospital DH is allowed in from 7am until midnight, and visitors are very select hours in the afternoon. Once home, I think we'll be grateful of the help to be honest - I'm not too fussy about BF in front of people (I don't think, yet - that may well change though!). Luckily the three sets of GPs all work, and so we can't be bombarded by constant visits as they won't be able to take huge stretches off of work! Which hopefully means we should be able to stagger them too so we're not overwhelmed. I also imagine they'll all be lovely and very willing to help out, though I suppose time will tell...

Scarlet very excited by these twinges! Keeping my eyes peeled

On a completely different note, isn't it infuriating when people won't talk to you because "your name isn't on the account"! As DH is working I've said I'll take over as much of the paperwork for the move as possible, but have found two suppliers who won't talk to me! Which means I'll have to spend ages nagging DH to do it, which is just rubbish.

Cross post Scream! I think you're being perfectly reasonable (and also think you need to rant about it, so rant away!).

You should make it 100% clear to DH now that you're not going to be feeling up to having BIL anywhere near because of recovering and bonding etc - and that although he can take the LO for short periods to go and see him, he is not to come anywhere near you while you're recovering!

Definitely enlist the MW's help :) Maybe you could tell them before the CS that you do have a very overwhelming family who will want to spend all their time with you, and can they help kick them out/encourage them to go etc?

Maybe DH will see your point of view when he sees you in hospital, and wants to spend time bonding with the baby too yet the little one's being constantly handed from one family member to another..!

I think the trick with the visiting hours, scream, is not to expect them to be thoughtful and considerate and decide when they should leave themselves - I think they need specific visiting times laid down for them. I.e. you will be available between 4 and 8, or 3 and 5 - then you need them to leave, because after that you will be very tired etc. And be very firm about it - at whatever time you want them to leave, say "DH, can you get MIL's coat?" etc. It sounds harsh, but they're clearly going to try and stay as long as they can, which is not what you want.

Thanks for the support Musical! I know most people wouldn't have a problem with the BIL thing but my relationship with my BIL is acrimonious at the best of times and he is literally the last person I want to see when I'm feeling exhausted and hormonal. Mum thinks family is paramount though, and of course she is right but I just can't bring myself to regard BIL as family, in my mind he will always only be DH's family not mine.

Thanks for letting me rant. It sounds good that you've got three sets of GPs around to answer any q's! All of DH's family (apart from the useless brother...) are medical. Unfortunately the useful GP ones all live far away, it's just the highly specialised surgeons etc who live near us!

V envious of the spouse visiting hours lasting until midnight!! Good luck with the sofas & fridge purchase by the way, those are substantial hits on any credit card! There's nothing quite like shiny new stuff though It's so exciting that your move is so close!

Just lost a very witty post... Grump

scream am happy to come and stand outside your curtain and be the brooking enforcer and let rip at your family if they step over the line particularly as I can be rather vicious when I'm tired and I'm very tired explain the visiting protocol to your mum.

Thanks Fluffy. The tricky bit is it's not MIL, it's MY Mum, so it's difficult for DH to be the one doing the chucking out. You're right bout just needing to be firm. My biggest concern is that when tired and hormonal I'm likely to just scream at them or burst into tears, rather than calmly and politely reminding them that they need to leave now.

I should stop complaining though because I'm making them all out to be totally self-centred when actually they're all lovely and genuinely want to be involved in a positive way. I get on really well with my family, but we're very different in a lot of ways. My Mum and the others just don't understand my desire to have time alone with DH and LO. From their point of view we can have lots of alone time over the next few weeks/months/years. They want to be there for the first few days. It's ironic because my view is the exact opposite! I very much want my family to be regularly involved with my baby, and they can do that over the next few weeks/months/years. However just for the first few days I think it should be just DH and I!

Hee hee Never if that's your not witty post then I'm genuinely gutted to have missed the even funnier one! I would definitely appreciate your support with some in-your-face brooking! My Mum is a fairly formidable character and it would be entertaining to see her go up against the might of a No Brooker!

The mood I'm in it would be no contest...

I completely understand scream - I hope you work it out with her to both your satisfaction! It's DC1, isn't it? :)

I forgot that chocolate makes me feel sick. I'm sitting as my desk with my waste paper basket in grabbing distance, going "eeeeeeuh" :(

Oh Fluffy I remember all to well sitting at my desk and trying to look normal whilst mentally calculating how long it would take to run to the nearest bathroom... Hope you feel better asap! Sucks that chocolate is the trigger!

Sorry to hear you're so tired and it's killing your mood Never :( Sending lots of sleep vibes your way (and towards your two tiny men of course!)

Nice new fred ladies!

Just marking my place as this could be the thread for my sneeze birth!

It WILL be your thread Wants! It WILL be! You, and Musical I reckon (unless Musical would rather we Brook No Argument for a post-move sneeze?). Naturally Scarlet is first though, seeing as she's practically in labour already!

Ooh, look, this is where the grown ups all hang out. I like what you've done with the place.

Grown ups? where are they then?

Evening all

Just checking in

Love the Tesco entourage biscuits but mighty impressed you're going and not wimping out with online shopping as i have moved to!

I have 6lb and 7lb babies now and dc by the midwives. Chuffed. But tired, oh so tired.

the chocolate morning sickness has got me! This is horrible. I have undying respect for those that deal with it on a daily basis