infamous wagoners welcome 2012 with new years resolutions , new babies and never ending chat and definetly no tumbleweed :)

[2012hellokitty]

hi ladies

new thread

wow lots to read

star - good to hear from you

bb - great to have you back (i was tink)
congrats on your ds
good luck with trying sorry for no luck this month!!
hi ginger

sorry if i have missed anyone!!

good day hear had snow so ccoollld

Wow tink! Glad to see the thread has survived, and thank you he is a treasure! Hows all of you?

Tink is our star! She single handily keeps the wagon going at times when we're quiet!!

Yay Ses! That's fantastic news - well done you. Think the shopping is well justified and you did very well to get all of that for that price!

Kayz, hope DS1 is feeling better now and you get more sleep tonight.
BB thanks for asking - is self-inflicted with DH: he had the snip on Friday (sorry if that is insensitive). His choice , I seem to just get brooder by the day now, but he's the sensible one in our relationship and I'm the emotional one. Sounds like you had a good day except for the non- sharing :-( so sorry you're out this month, will keep fingers crossed for you for this cycle.

Tink - snow?! It was forecast here for this week too... So hope our boiler is fixed tomorrow morning - really need heating before snow hits. Thank goodness for electric blankets is all I can say!

thankyou kay - that made me grin ear to hear
i do my best

agree shopping very good how did i forget to mention that one

good day here

star - hope u get boiler sorted !! so cold here today!!!!!

Wow starry If your weather is anything like ours you will be freezing! Our central heating system isnt good enough for the size and age of our house so we also use electric heaters they are great for warming just the room you are in! We have been out all afternoon seen friends (inc child from yest) but much better as in a larger group so DS not picked on! Other than that not alot for us, work for the next few days (yay ) then an evening out friday that should be good altho am feeling a bit self destructive so alcohol may not be best idea (sexual tension with boss manifests in some strange ways when sozzled!) still awaiting DS scuttle bug hopefully will arrive tomorrow!

YAY!!!

I've just booked our small honeymoon. We are going to Portsmouth as our neice is being christened on the Sunday after the wedding and BIL and SIL live in Southampton. I've also booked a 4D scan for that weekend too in Southampton.

hi bb - sounds like u had a nice day
good luck with work, hope u get scuttlebug they look cool
good luck for fri

kay
sounds good
have u had a 4d scan before?
they r amazing only had one with dd2 so amazing you can see everything we got a dvd too
sex should be a deadcert we found out properley had 4d scan the gender
went to drs re possible aspergers syndrome - has mentioned i-talk so going to give that a go is psychologists over the phone

No I haven't Tink, when I had the gender scan they put the 4d scan on but as baby wasn't being helpful it wasn't very good. I will be 29 weeks then so should be good.

kay - will be great - i was 32 weeks

I'm just off to bed after an exhausting day but just thought I'd pop my head round the door!

Kayz - I love Portsmouth as I went to Uni there. Sounds like a great plan and hope you have a great time. Scan will be very exciting too!

BB - sexual tension with boss??!!!

Star - did the boiler get fixed?

I (and the house!) survived the day after hosting for seven 2yos, a 1yo and a 6mo with 7 mums! I did jacket potatoes and soup for the mums for lunch and "picnic food" of cherry tomatoes, cheese chunks, cucumber sticks, cocktail sausages and cheese spread sandwiches for the LOs. All just about tidied up now!

It was the usual crowd that we go to soft play with on a Wednesday. The LOs seemed to be getting a bit bored of going every week though so I offered to host. It was fairly straight forward and it was suggested that I could go into business but I am now really tired an lots of pain around my buttocks / pelvis so taking it easy now and hoping for a good night's sleep :)

Morning all
Ses- well done for hosting and surviving that many! you are a braver woman than me!

Very cold here, as I am sure it is everywhere. It was minus 4 when I left home and minus 2 at the office (in the carpark, nice and warm at my desk thankfully!) There were definately some snow flakes in the air on the motorway...

Kay- we had a 3d/4d scan too was really good, got a dvd and pictures. Its something I'd do again with another pregnancy. :)

How is everything with everyone else?

I feel like a terrible mum. I was walking home from Playgroup with DS2 and he fell over. He didn't cry but asked to be carried. I can't carry him, he is a very big 3 year old. So I made him walk.

I've just changed his nappy and he has a big graze on his knee and there was some blood inside his jeans.

hi ses - well done u great job sounds lovely
hi kay - i wouldnt worry u have ur reASONS FOR NOT CARRYINg him he wasnt crying !!

Hi all!

Sorry ben a busy few days!

Ses its a weird relationship we have this strange tension... He can be an arse and just does things that make me think he is alright tho! Night out cancelled now anyway and tbh im relieved so couldnt be bothered haha!

Kayz you arent a bad mum at all! And i like portsmouth altho i am biased!

Hope everyone else is ok

Hello all, sorry for not being around I havent been in a good place.

DD2 has been ill AGAIN, only a nasty cold but it has knocked my confidence badly. Have been to counselling twice which is helping but funnily enough is bringing things to head that I manage to lock away..

So I am feeling really down, alone and not in a good place. I have no real friends, just the childrens friends mums. No one I can really turn to. My family are not interested in my or my children. Not one of them has called me to see how we all are since I had dd2 and my mum has only seen her when I pop into them. My sister mum and brother meet up every weekend....... nice

It is looking increasingly like I am going to have to have an operation as I have a prolaps that PFE are not helping and it is causing continence problems.

DD1 is feeling upset that she is the only one of her friends that cant read, all the others have set reading books where as the teacher hasnt given her one as she cant blend her letters yet. She feel stupid (at 4) and doesn't want to go to school. I feel its my fault for being a bit competative when she was little so she sees it as loosing.

DS is a daddies boy now through and through and wants nothing to do with me.

DD2 has dropped two centiles since birth and so HV is now sticking her beak in where its not wanted..

I feel a total failier and like i am swimming against the tide... Never see DP and so sad most of the time.

Wow bump you are having a tough time of it! I have no real words of wisdom, but fwiw you aren't a failure i think most people would feel snowed under with dealing with three kids with little support. Do you feel like you want to lake new friends or do u just feel like u need to reconnect with old ones?

Bumps

I am sorry you are feeling down. Please please please use us as your support network. I wish I wasnt so far away or I'd come and take you out for coffee and cake (stuff work!)

You have every right to be stressed and frightened after what happened to DD2, it sounds a bit like post traumatic stress disorder- I am not an expert at all- but I've had/got this and I understand that one of the normal reactions is to think something bad is going to happen any time..

.Im glad to hear you have had a chance for counselling. My experience of it is the same as you. While is a necessary path to feeling better about what happened, it does unlock a lot of stuff that can leave you feeling really fragile and brusied. Do hang in there.Maybe its useful if it helps you with other things. Does your DP support you in it?

Why arent you seeing him much?

DD1- she will pick up the reading really quickly, especially as her friends are doing it...She is still little and I'd probably bet that the other kids arent as good as being made out to be. Please dont beat yourself up about it.

DS- I have that issue with my DD going to Daddy and it hurts when they outright reject you. Although, they arent really doing so, its because he is so secure with your love that he is able to do it. When DD does it, I try and see it positively as the fact they are buiding a bond- maybe its good whilst you are busy with DD2?

What are you doing today? do you have any plans to go out?

xxx

PS you most definately are not a failure. You are amazing, you have 3 amazing beautiful children.

If you were a failure you wouldnt be posting here and worrying about it.

keep talking to us and take care xx

Thanks BB and Ginger I hate feeling this way.

I dont see DP as he is working 15 hour days 6 days a week. He comes home eats and falls asleep. On Sunday he is tired and spends time catching up with the children as he hasn't seen them either.

I really wish I had close friends but I left me real friends in london and never hear from them as they were career ladies. The friends I have here are dd and ds's mums who struggle to remember my name really and as most have older children too I am new to the groups.

Today DS has football so will soon be leaving to take him. It is a nice walk and they sell starbucks coffee there so cant be bad

BB sorry for not saying welcome back, good to see you and congratulations on your little boy. Would love to see a pic are you on FB?

Thanks again Ginger i just feel so lonely and wish my family would accept me more. They never really have I spend more time with DP's family than I do mine.

Right must get on, speak soon xx

Bumps You are certainly not a failure at all.

You have had a really tough and worrying time with DD2 and it is bound to catch up with you.

With DD1 and her reading DS1 isn't really getting it yet either or writing for that matter. I was worrying but his teacher said that they all take different amount of time to get there.

Please make sure you know you can talk to us anytime you need to. There is always someone about to listen to you.

Are there any groups you can take DS and DD2 too? Then maybe you could meet new mums that have babies a similar age to DD2.

I hope that you have a nice time while DS plays football.

Have a xx

Oh Bumps! Poor you. You are not a bad Mum, you have 3 young children and are doing brilliantly. I remember phoning my Mum when DD was about 10 weeks and crying because I was so exhausted and I only had 2 DC to look after. DD2's illness is bound to have made you scared. School is an added stress - just remember that the children in the class will range nearly a year in age and you would never compare DD2's current abilities with a 1 yo would you? if she has a competitive nature that will stand her in good stead in years to come!
I find it really hard to make friends too, but I'm sure that the other Mum's do know your name and would be happy to help if you needed it.
I don't know if this would just add to the pressure, but I was thinking of taking the DC into the Natural History Museum in half- term - we'd love to meet up with you there if you fancy it. It's free to get in and a picnic lunch would make it not too expensive.
Anyway must go - just didn't want to read and not post, but DD calls...

Hi everyone how have your days been?

Bumps are you feeling any better? I am indeed on the dreaded FB, feel free to add me, i don't know how to do private messaging on here so will have to be a bit cryptic as cant out self here atm ( you guys are my sanity saving escape from RL) but am on kayz and ses' fbs, initials are VSM if that helps?! Also i should say I find it hard to make good friends, you are definitely not alone on that one! I must have missed something re DD2 and being poorly but any illness makes us question what we are doing, our love can be a burden at times!

Its so cold here today we are forecast snow tommorrow i hate snow!! Never driven in it either as only passed back end of last year soo no snow for me haha!

oh bb - it is so hard being a mum you are doing a great job
on the reading - dd1 is 2 years ahead and dd2 not as interested they do all develop at different stages with different things - just read books at home
it must be so hard not seeing dp alot my dp comes home 6:30 - 7pm most days as work always busy
i dont have many friends just childrens mums left my friends behind too
i suffer from anxiety alot and often feel down
here if you need to chat i am also on facebbok

Oh Bumps, I'm so sorry for what you are going through. Also sorry that I've only just been able to log on and see your post.
The others have said all the right and sensible things. You are definitely not a failure. I have always thought you are a great mum and that first time we met when you came over when our two O's were only weeks old really helped me have confidence in myself as a mum because I could see how amazing you are as a mum yourself.

Having 3 young ones will be tough in any situation - nevermind with all the added stresses you have had with DD2's illness and the lack of family support. You should be proud of how you are doing.
Please keep posting on here for support. A meet up sounds like a good plan and I love the Natural History Museum. (Am away in Ireland most of half term week though :( ) I'm not sure when I'm next due to be in Maidstone with work but I will let you know and we can meet up for coffee and cake :)

Take care of yourself and you do have good friends and a support network - we are here :)