The 'We are brooking no arguments whatsoever for an uneventful pregnancy and pain-free birth' thread

[Biscuitsandtea]

Ladies, our previous thread was getting full so here is a lovely new shiny home for us all.

I've put some comfy cushions around and plenty of pregnancy safe snacks and drinks. The Segway park is in the corner over there next to the stack of glittery vom buckets (plenty of extra buckets too for all the newbies).

In the corner over here you'll find our library of leaflets including sections on early pregnancy private scan clinics, pushchairs and car seats.

Hope you all like it very much :)

Back from scan-land and looking smiley . Everything as it should be, heart beating away, nuchal measurement taken, arms and legs, nose, chin etc all seen . Not brillo pictures as I think my bladder could have been fuller (but last time they said it was too full and it was only early for goodness sake!) but that's beside the point. There's a real baby in there and that'll do me v nicely indeed!!

Scarlet that is a really tricky one. My mum found out when she saw the pic of the BFP (d'oh) and we told my dad and the in laws after the 8 week scan just because we knew we would tell them if anything went wrong, but then it doesn't sound like your in laws are quite as much on your side - mine are really lovely and really looked after me when we had the m/c before. Other than that we're 'coming out' today

I agree with the reasoning about it being too personal - could you perhaps suggest you tell your parents only to keep it to a minimum but so they can help with DS? Is it feasible that it would be easier for them to help than the in laws?

Congratulations again Biscuits that really is brilliant news. So, is that it for scans now until 20 weeks? How exciting to now be able to tell everyone after all these weeks.

I think that's what I'll go with Biscuits. The fact is we are probably closer to my parents and it is them we call on for babysitting and help etc rather than DHs parents so it does make sense from that point of view.

Congratulations Biscuits - glad it all went wonderfully!

I think we'll wait until the 12wk scan to tell the majority of people (DH's boss already knows- but she's lovely, and we wanted to tell her to ensure he could come to appointments etc). The only exception may be my closest friend - who has been through a lot herself and I know she would be excited, supporting, and wonderful whatever happens.

Currently trying to think of creative ways to tell the parents when the time comes..!

Congrats on another lovely scan biscuits :)

scream i think using the childcare theory is best, but make sure mil doesnt find out somehow that your parents knew before or i imagine the shit will hit the fan. I imagine my very over enthusiastic mother in law (who has her friends knitting booties even though they dont know we're ttc!) would implode if she got wind of my parents knowing before her.

I think im going to be positive and tell our parents. Ive had a scan, the sonographer says all great. That takes the chance of ongoing up to 95%+ (depending on which study you read) so im going to get excited and will be brooking NO argument at all. Go team Rat Smackers!!!

Now have to think of some cute but not vomit inducing way to tell them....

How exciting Meconium oooh oooh oooh, let's think of some ways you could just drop it casually into conversation Sunday afternoon to get maximum shock impact.

You could say something along the lines of

"Oh by the way, May next year. You might want to make sure you don't book any holidays as that will be when your grandchild arrives."

Or

start talking about Christmas and then say something along the lines of ""well of course next Christmas, there'll be extra presents for us all to buy what with us having a baby in May"

I dropped it casually into conversation like this when I was expecting DS. It really was brilliant. My Mum was speechless for about 30 seconds before the tears started. Then she was like "I can't believe it".

When we told DH's parents DH said "we've got some news for you" and MIL said "oooh am I going to be a grandma?" DH said "yes" .
Although a lovely moment, it didn't seem to have the same value as my parents, which is now one of the most memorable moments of my life.

Of course however you do it, it will be lovely and they will be absolutely delighted I'm sure.

Aww that's lovely Scarlet. I know what you mean though about your in-laws - it sort of takes something away if they 'guess' the happy news. Even if I suspected I would never guess something like that cos it's nice for people to be able to tell you themselves (or I might be wrong!). Plus most people have worked out already what they want to say so it's kind of mean to derail them!

It would be like in a proopsal situation - I'd never guess that I was going to be proposed to - you have to let them come out and say it.

NB I am highly unlikely to be proposed to now as I have already been married for 6 years but the point still stands.

My Mum didn't exactly guess but her first words were 'well, I knew you were' as if she had some great intuition. When later quizzed she admitted that it was just because we had had a previous m/c that she 'knew' we were. I think that's a bit different - anyone who knew we had been married a few years and had a recent miscarriage wouldn't be surprised if we got pregnant but that isn't like 'knowing'. I was a bit miffed about that as she seemed to make the announcement more about how jolly clever she was rather than how nice our news was.

I remember telling DH's parents the first time (with what eventually turned out to be a m/c but that's beside the point) and DH said something along the lines of 'Next March, you're going to be grandparents' and it took them ages to cotton on. I could almost see them thinking 'Are DH's (younger) brother and gf pregnant? Wonder why they didn't tell us themselves.....' It was still quite funny and they were v pleased about it all once they figured it out!

at your Mum Biscuits and her psychic powers. Funny how Mum's have those isn't it.

Ooooh, I've found Aubers, but a bit by accident. She started this (rather amusing) thread.

She is still out there....

Scarlet, that's great! We hadn't had any real ideas as of yet, other than for my nagging stepmother in law. We think we're going to tell her how much we don't want to have children, saying about all the faff etc, waiting for her to counteract our statements, and then say something about "We don't want to be those kinds of people waving a scan around everywhere! Like this one!" and hand over a scan...! She's gone on about it for so long, so she deserves her comeuppance!

Problem is that's a bit cruel on my FIL, as it'll be his first 'biological' grandchild (rather than step-grandchild, not that he thinks of them like that I'm sure!).

I definitely want to avoid people - well, parents at least - just guessing the news, so will have to ensure we avoid the "We've got some news!" tactic..!

Lovely news on sacn, Biscuits!

I have seen Aubers on other threads, she obviously just doesn't love us anymore .

Biscuits that's wonderful news! I'm so glad your scan went so well. Such an exciting time!!!

Scarlet, Meconium and Musical I'm loving the suggestions for letting people know the news. I had just intended to do the whole "We have news" and let them guess, but I like the other suggestions, they sound more fun!

I feel sooooooooo pathetic right now. I spent the morning travelling around London to get to a Dental Hospital, spent an hour waiting to be seen by the dentist, only to be told they can't do anything for me while I'm pregnant - which I had EXPECTED and I specifically rang them last week to discuss this but they told me to still come in. Sooooooooo annoying! The reason I feel pathetic though is because I'm now home and I feel WIPED OUT! I'm exhausted and sooooooooo sick. How on earth am I going to do a normal week at work next week!?! All of you amazing ladies are still doing your day jobs (whether that's going into work or keeping up with a active toddler all day!) Dream and some of you others are far more sick than I am, I feel like such a whinger for even complaining when really I'm so happy to be pregnant and I'm so lucky not to have hypermesis! I'm just so fed up of feeling like I'm always on the verge of throwing up, and I can't eat anything so I'm dizzy and tired.

Whine whine whine! I sound like such a moany cow! Please forgive me. I really just wanted a quick rant, and it's out of my system now, I promise I'll stop it now! Thanks for making it all the way to the end of this post!!

Hooray for the good scans Biscuits and Meconium. What does that make your due dates now?

MusicalMrs I would think that the EPU would see you even if you aren't officially in the system- my GP told me just to contact the EPU directly if there were any problems, even though the hospital would have had no record of me. Of course, with all the excellent brooking I don't suppose you will need to

I have only told two of my good friends at the moment. My parents and PIL live pretty far away and we won't be seeing them until after 12 weeks so I think I will wait. However, my mother also seems to have psychic powers- she asked me outright if I was pregnant when we were skyping a week or so ago! (And that is not like her!)

Anyway, I can hear DD waking up. Hope everyone has a non-vomity afternoon.

Oh Scream you poor poor thing. You don't sound moany at all! The exhaustion etc is very very real. Even if there are people who have it worse, it doesn't mean that you don't deserve sympathy too - there isn't a limited amount to go around!

Now we have oodles of sympathy here and I'm ladling a load in your direction.

And how annoying about the dentist - they should have told you when you phoned - grrrr

musical hope you're doing ok xx

scream, don't worrying about moaning here. The rest of us can Brook No Argument for you.

I'm feeling a bit queasy and had a major craving for bacon this afternoon, but otherwise I'm fine. I've told a couple of very close RL friends but if the sickness is the same as last time, it won't be long before everyone realises!

biscuits, marvellous scan news! I'm very very pleased for you.

Blooming loads of people know I'm pregnant because of The Puking. Incidentally, I went to the GP today. I'm thirsty. I'm hungry. My mouth is like a desert. Nothing but nothing was staying down. Unfortunately he was concerned, says I'm dehydrated, so I've got to push the fluids (with the Bucastem and Dioralite he's given me though he says he doesn't care what i drink, just SOMETHING!). He says I need to have significantly improved in the next 12-24 hours or it's another assessment and likely hospital and IV fluids

Now, I am NOT going to hospital, so I am Brooking. No. Argument. I have an anti-emetic in my gum right now, and diorlite ready to follow it up. The puking is OVER. SO OVER.

scream full sympathy for the sickness, it's so grim. I know what you mean, I'm delighted i'm pregnant but god I feel bad (whinge, whinge, whinge some more). I am relieved to tell people, I couldn't hide this. What would I say- err, I've got a stomach bug? People would think get out then/don't invite me round, and don't spread your germs!!! My dad is up looking after DD. I couldn't cope today... Knackered. They are at the swings. Peace. It's lovely.

musical, i'd ring and either get your blood test repeated or ring EPU. If nothign else it will calm you down. I'd want to know my HCG was still going up. It does all sound very, very promoising though. Clearly, only needed for reassurance as you's brooking no argument and all, but that is perfectly valid if you're bleeding in my book!

Dream - glad to her you're over the puking, but also glad the doctor is looking after you all proper like. I do hope you don't need to go into hospital, but they don't do that sort of thing unless you really need it so you're in the safest hands. So, how are you getting checked tomorrow? Will you have to go to the hospital or how can the doc check you on a Saturday?

Bartlet hope the puking stays away for you

I feel so sorry for all you pukey people :(

Oh and dream when I said 'you're over the puking', I meant OVER it (not as in I read your post and thought you weren't puking any more - I mean I'm glad you are taking steps and brooking no argument about it all)

Dream try apple skins if u live near Birmingham come to Hosp lol I will look after u xxx

Scream - Mostly today I have just told people who already knew. But told one of my best friends yesterday and she was sooooo excited for me which was lovely and told another friend today who knew we'd been trying for a while (another one who knew when we started to try because they were starting at the same time, and now has a 6 mth old!) and she said it was the best news she'd heard in ages and it had brought a tear to her eye - which is kind of sweet of her. Think I will do some emailing over the weekend to others :)

I'm always several posts behind! Must type faster!!

Thank you Bartlet and Dream, very kind of you! Dream I'm so glad you went to the GP as well, although the possibility of going into hospital must be a little scary! I am sending a huge wave of No Brooking your way. The Puking is so OVER!! We are not having it! You're armed with new drugs, and you're an experienced Rat Smacker, this sickness is history!

Musical I agree with everyone else's suggestions. I do hope you feel better and more confident soon. How is it going today?

dream, , I know you don't want to go into hospital and we are Brooking No Argument for you, but, from previous experience, going into for IV rehydration meant that I coped for the rest of the time MUCH MUCH better. I'd been getting gradually worse and worse and the IV fluids made a huge difference. A lot of places don't admit women with HG anymore (unless they are really, really poorly) and instead do IV fluids in their day case area so you'd be home by night. Please, please consider it!

musical, I hope everything is going okay today.

biscuits, the GP said out-of-hours GP tmw, and if they think necessary they will send me in. IF i'm not significantly better. Which I will be. Almost half a dioralite drunk. not that i can often keep it down for 10 min and was wretching just before starting anyway

Apple skins meme- now that I could try. Birmingham's about 2 hours away for me, just think of all the sick bags I'd need in the car!!! And anyway, I have decided enough is enough. I am the weight now when I stopped losing weight last time, so it's clearly OVER though i have lost another lb i discover

Awww Biscuits that's such a nice story, I'm glad your friends are so happy for you! Just like us!!