Nov 2011 - Feathering our nests and buying baby vests

[PamSco]

Taking liberties again as there are only 5 posts to go on old thread. Hope everyone is well this morning!

caz I hope that things have settled and that all was ok when you got checked. Also if you are struggling with work would it be possible to be signed off sick for a couple of weeks rather than bringing your mat leave forward??

voodoo the 'quinny zapp' is suitable from birth if used as a travel system with the 'maxi-cosi cabriofix/pebble' car seat (though guidelines state that babies shouldn't be in a car seat for extended periods of time). There is also the 'quinny zapp xtra' which is suitable from birth without the car seat - hope that helps.

tjuice sorry that you were in such pain, hope that you are feeling better and that it remains eased.

Have had a busy productive day today :) have packed the hospital bags and organised them in such a way that they can be easily raided for homebirth as well. Also washed 2 loads of baby clothes, made it real seeing all the little outfits out on the line :o Also cooked up some bolognese to freeze in prep for last days of preg/first days of baby.

Think I may have overdone it a little though as spd pain is worse tonight, baby has changed into an awkward position and have been getting quite a few stronger BH. Just settled in front of tv with horlicks and chocolate :)

Hope everyone is well, night all x

Caz you are right to get checked out. You don't want to take any chances at all and far better to get checked out and find all is well, than not get checked out and regret it later.

Tjuice mind yourself! Rest up for a couple of days where possible.

voodoo I have a Quinny Zapp for ds4 but after using it, I am now going to get a Petite Star Zia for dd. The main reason being that although the Quinny Zapp folds up small and is lovely and neat, it doesn't recline. Now you might think, as I did that that doesn't matter for a toddler but when I took ds4 away for a weekend to a sports event, it was a nightmare. Because it didn't recline, he couldn't sleep in it and at 13 months old he still needed to nap during the day so was cranky as hell!

The Petite Star Zia folds up almost as small and does recline so I am getting that for dd instead.

Ah thanks bump and chip! Chip I considered showing OH a petite star zia, didn't think he would like it and was adamant he would hate quinny's..... He thought the quinny was pretty good so I may go back to researching the petite star's! I made the mistake of buying a good robust 3 in 1 as they were then, not really a travel system, needed a mclaren quick sharp! OH of course likes big buggies, I'm trying to wean him off and into lighter yet long-lasting options! Tjuice and bump hope u r both better soon!
Have to go for some sleep as got 32 week antenatal appointment at hospital. This is where I smile sweetly and repeat homebirth numerous times! Night night!! x

Apologies in advance for self indulgent post, but hey if can't do it here where can I do it?

I haven't been on for ages, not this week anyway so apologies I don't know how you all are and what's been happening. (Hope no babies have been born?). I hope all is going well guys.

I'm stressed out to the max, I'm up just now doing work, got home at 8.30 last night from work too. Then back up at 3am. Long days and worrying and stressing about finishing up in 2 weeks. I don't think it's possible. Out of those 10 days, 5 of them I'm working out of the office or on ante natal appointments. So much to do and it's really affecting my sleep. OH is now starting off in the spare room, rather than ending up there during the wee small hours.

I'm down, I'm tearful, I'm tired. I'm also concerned about all the stress hormones I'm giving to poor wee baby.

Baby room at a standstill, no buggy thing bought, no cot, a few clothes and some maternity pads and the like only. yadda yadda I could go on. Feel very out of control.

FA x

Oh Folic I am so sorry you are having a rough time! Try to stress less about the days left. It will all work itself out in the end.

Also try not to stress about the baby room. You will have enough time on ML to sort it all out.

I am in the same situation. 10 days left and baby room at standstill. It will all work itself out.

Try to relax and worry a bit less (I should really follow my own advice )

No more babis born that I know of btw

Caz hope you and Xander are well!

Voodoo enjoy your appointment

TJuice and bump feel better soon!

Ah Folic what has happened to my laugh a minute gag gal? Your work sounds like a nightmare, is there no-one that can help out? I think we are all at that stage that our hormones are crashing. I ended up in the toilets crying yesterday after a colleague called me fat. He was very much joking around and I usually give as good as I get but I feel so weak and helpless I just can't fight back at the moment. gah!

My Mum was telling me the other day that when my eldest brother came along my Dad went out on the day he was born and bought the pram and other stuff. It didn't bother them back then for not having everything ready so why are we? I doubt we'll need a pram for the first few days and if baby is in a moses basket you won't need a cot either.

Take some deep breaths and come on gal I need some gags or funny anecdotes from you :)

morning ladies,

folic sorry you're feeling so low at the moment, how long do you have left till mat leave? Would it be worth you getting signed off for a little bit? Don't panic about baby's room, it's suggested baby be in with you for the first 6 months anyway. you don't need a buggy right now, you still have several weeks till baby's here, remember all it really needs to start off with is you.

caz hope you're ok.

Aah Folic there's a hug waiting for you here. Keep strong, work is loooooowwwww priority compared to everything else. It is draining. I'm with you there, but just plough through what you can. Don't let any natural perfectionism creep in.

I got my boss good stylee yesterday, He asked me if a 3rd person had realised I was going off in 5 weeks. I replied, well I told you in April - before my own Dad and you only realised last week so, I don't know? He was a bit annoyed.

Keep focused on that first day of ML when you call the shots - sleep and start on the room. Babs will be with uyou initially anyway so no hurry.

Hugs folic try not to let work stress you out, is there someone you can pass some of your workload to?? There is only so much you can do before you start mat leave and your employer needs to understand that - they are going to have to manage without you once you are on mat leave.

baby things there is very little that is 100% needed prior to baby arriving. You are the most important - you can provide warnth, food & love. Clothes, nappies and car seat (if driving) are the only necessities - baby can be carried & can sleep in bed with you if needed. Anything else can be brought once baby here if needed.

Am a little frustrated with DP this morning. I get up and sort DS out every morning - feed, dressed, lunch ready & off to school. I can do it on my own and can prob do it on my own once baby is here with enough organisation but I don't see why I should have to do it on my own when DP is upstairs "asleep" even though he has set his alarm to get up. I wouldn't mind but due to his work the only time DP can see DS is before school during the week. DS has been feeling as though he is being pushed out with baby coming - he is really excited but worried at the same time as he is so sensitive. I am doing my best to reassure him and spend quality time with him but he needs it from DP as well (esp as DP is step-dad). Have tried saying this to DP and he agrees, will get up the following morning but then it will go back to the same!!

Caz, I get a lot of those types of pains and the funny tightness where you have a bum or something sticking out on one side! DH finds it hilarious!

Just sorry you're not feeling great, just keep telling yourself, not long to go!

voodoo I have the quinney buzz which works with the cabriofix, and have also got a dreami carrycot, which fixes onto the same connectors, so i would presume that you could get that too if you wanted baby top be in it for long periods of time? I didn't like the idea of putting baby straight into the pushchair bit as they seem too big!

Folic all i can suggest is that you make work the very bottom of your list of priorities! They will cope without you when you go, and as long as you know you've tried hard to do what you can whilst you're there, you don't need to panic! COncentrate on yourself and baby, with some time to relax. My little mantra to get me through a similar period I went through a couple fo months ago was "life's more important".

I'm determined that today is going to be a good day, as it's friday and yesterday was a pants one! 28 working days left! (Though it's still 7 weeks till i technically finish!)

Ok on phone so excuse typos and babble.

I am threatening prem labour again. Contractions have been consstently 10 mins or less apart, and making me whince, although seem to be getting less intense now, so hope frequency will ease off too. Having steroids, drugs to stop labour and antibiotics atm. Cervix closed at last check which is good news. have been kept in and likely will be until at least Sunday. Although I want to discuss just not leaving now. Consultant was v nice and will review day by day. Early delivery not out of the question, but obviously want to. Keep him in as long as possible.

feeling v weepy and scared.

I think im one of these women who faff about when having early labour contractions until waters are broken because this is how i spent the 5 days when i was induced until they broke waters.

Infection might have triggered it, waiting on lab to confirm. although consultant thinks anxiety and stress is just as likely a reason, or I just don't do well carrying babies past now. the are not ruling thatout and are on me like a hawk at the moment. Have said they will take my feelings into account and won't discharge me until im happy and are willing to take my concerns into account if I really want a early delivery.

Oh caz, sweetheart. Am so glad you went into hospital to get checked. You are in the best place. Do not leave that hospital until you are 100% happy with leaving.

You've done everything possible for xander. Fingers crossed he stays in longer.

Thinking of you and Jon.

Big ((((HUG)))) caz am glad you went in to be checked. Am glad that the hospital are treating you well & are taking your wishes and feelings into consideration. I hope that Xander keeps safe & you keep well. Do what you feel is best for you & Xander xx

Hugs from me too Caz and will be including you and X in my prayers for as long as you need. Hope he stays in there as long as possible but like the others have said, you are in the best place and it sounds like you have good care.

Please try not to over think things, although I do appreciate that it is far easier to say than do. Lots of love heading to you across cyber space

Folic I'm sorry to hear how stressed you are about work, but do understand it. DH has been 'nagging' me about winding down for a good few weeks now but it's really hard. I am hopeful that the candidate at final interview with my director today gets the thumbs up as I can then have a handover start date in mind, which will be helpful. I've been subconsciously not thinking about 'when I'm not at work' but it is coming up more often now as it comes closer. In one way I can't wait for mat leave as I know I'm tired (and of course can't wait to meet baby!) but on the other, I've been focussed on my career for over 10 years and hate the thought of things carrying on without me!! What an idiot I am but hope you can think about handing over soon.

Caz you stay exactly where you are, you are in the best place!
When I was admitted with a small bleed with dd, there was talk of sending me home. I was still in "working career mother' mode so was worrying at that time about taking time off work. I am so glad they didn't discharge me because had I been at home when I had my big bleed, well it doesn't bear thinking about. The staff know your history. I know you must be freaking out but hang in there,Xander WILL be OK!

Also, Folic please bear in mind that, as I found out, work goes on without you! When I had dd unexpectedly early, they bloody well had to manage! It's not convenient for them but shit happens, staff get sick, staff can have a family crisis, work still goes on. Now, you have a low-lying placenta. You need to take it easy and look after yourself. Oh and the baby room? All our boys ended up sleeping in with us, in our bed, maybe occasionally in the Moses basket when they were tiny but I found that once I had brought them in to bed, we would all fall asleep so they stayed in our room for a year. In fact, ds3 was in our room for two years! And remember, the shops will not close the day you give birth! For both ds3 and dd, I didn't even have a hospital bag packed and dh had to go any buy nighties and slipper etc!

caz - everything crossed for you here too. Glad you are in there and sounds like they are doing everything. I know you must be so scared but if I could send chill vibes over to you, I would. For sure, its going to be okay.

folic - also feeling for you. I just think work will "work" you to get every last drop and maybe its time to call it and take some sick time off. I don't know about the whole stress hormones thing (my mum is always telling me about it but what you going do - get more stressed about being stressed?) but I do believe there is a link with early labour, as caz' consultant says. So if you can, speak to your doc about the situation. Work will survive without you so whether you ditch it now or later doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things.
I have only been signed off once; I tried to soldier on in a really stressful situation and didn't admit to anyone, apart from my DH how messed up I was. Then I hit a wall and one night in the middle of the night, I woke up with one overwhelming thought "I cannot go back". And I called my doctor in the morning and she totally understood and signed me off without even seeing me. And then I called in and said "I am so sorry but I have been struggling and have hit the wall." and that was it. The relief was absolutely incredible.
Anyway, excuse the ramble - the point is - you only need tits and nappies at first anyway. My baby room will be a guest room

never - I so feel you! Literally 10 minutes ago, a guy called me a whale. I am so fed up with the constant weight comments - and this guy has a wife and two kids so he should know better. I toughed it out and asked him if he wanted to die today otherwise don't make comments on my weight, but honestly I am often very close to tears these days. Its really superficial but I am sensitive about my weight at the best of times.

Folic

I totally know how you feel - I went off MN for a while because i was feeling exactly the same - too much to do, not enough time to do it in. Stupid loft extension/kitchen replacement/running business/having job/insert other ridiculous things here.

My coping strategy is the same as pretty much everyone else's - prioritise

What I have done:

Packed birth bags
Got nappies, wipes, maternity pads, breats pads (boots)
Sorted moses basket/bedding (Borrowed/Amazon)
Sorted car seat (Amazon)
Have emergency bottles and formula in case breast feeding doesn't work out (also boots)

That is basically one shopping trip which I could handle in my stressed state. Now feel much better. :)

Everything else can come later as far as I'm concerned.

Hope this helps my love.

Caz

Big big love to you - hang in there and stay put!

See y'all soon
xxx

Caz, you are in the best place. Sending you positive vibes. Please look after yourself and rest.

Folic, come on woman, this is quite possibly hormones and very definitely stress. Work WILL survive without you. The baby does not need a buggy immediately but I bet you have one before the time comes. The room is not vital! What is, is that you stop and review what is causing you to feel like this and as soon as you can cease and desist from letting it get to you. In the scheme of things work is important, but not as important as your emotional and physical health. Be realistic about what you can expect yourself to do and dont feel bad. I had that blip with OH, had a day and a half off and a conversation with my line manager on my return that went much like 'voodoo STOP trying to work so hard, this is an important job but it is not as important as your health'. I felt better just to hear it and when OH said much the same about how hard I was working to make sure that I didnt look like I was letting the company down and myself I really felt a bit daft!

Ignore the people who are making you mad - we will lose the baby bumps and weight but they won't lose the insensitivity or avoid a smack in the face in the future!

Hospital appointment - AH MY GOD. OH is so peed off with them hes now advocating a homebirth for me! This was after he said he couldnt possibly comprehend the thought of one a few weeks back. Got to the consultant appointment, minus the consultant, needless to say got a student who went ah no your bmi is not low enough for the mw led unit so 'YOU CANT DELIVER HERE'. I forced myself not to leap from the seat and throttle her. Then started saying well you could have tried to lose weight harder with diet plans slimming world etc - i asked how I was supposed to know this if I hadn't been told!!!!!! I have put on what can only be baby weight yet lost weight at the same time if you see what I mean. BMI is 1 point outside the cut off. It was about this when I was first pg! I am so peed off with all this and fortunately the MW is supportive of a home birth so that is what I am going for. OH is so excited that time is passing by and is excited about the whole birth and afterwards bit. Even setting a list of times when people can visit and that they can only come if they do not annoy me or need looking after!

Folic - sorry forgot to add online shopping is your friend at this time!!

caz having been through the whole threatened labour thing (but obviously not even beginning to understand what else is going through your mind) just wanted to echo what everyone else has said. You are absolutely in the right place. Trust that they are experts in what they do and will continue to be right on it in terms of monitoring. Sending you all the love and luck in the world and also from Livia to Xander x

Oh Caz how stressful for you. Totally understand you being anxious and teary, but like everyone else says you are in the right place and sounds like you are being well looked after. So glad they're watching you like a hawk. You just need to trust that everything is going to work out just fine and before long (whenever it is) you will have a gorgeous little wriggly Xander in your arms and all this worry and pain will seem a distant memory. Thinking of you though and hugs!

Also hear everyone on the work stress. I have 14 days left to work (spread over 4 working weeks due to days holiday I am taking on Fridays etc) but yesterday I got given a new "special project" - so irritating, I am so stressed and so mad that they expect me to take on something new and scary and deliver it before I go - just when I want to wind down and let work take a back seat. Wish I had the guts to tell them go jump, but unfortunately know they're not doing anything illegal. Oh well, once I get it started I hope it won't be too bad.

folic internet is definitely your friend. I did a big mothercare online blitz, one trip to John Lewis and going to NCT sale tomorrow to hopefully pick up other bits. Definitely not finished, but once you make a list of what is really needed (prioritise) it can definitely be done in an afternoon and then you start to feel more relaxed.

Caz I was dreading reading this message after your post yesterday. :(
I am very glad that you are in hospital. This is the best place for you and Xander right now. Please do not leave until you and they are 100% happy.

I hope they can tell you in detail about what would happen, if Xander was to be born early. Hopefully that should help your decision.

Thinking of you, Jon and Xander. Stay strong little man! Hope you can rest a little Caz

I am so tempted to go to John Lewis. Just been chatting to my mum who has seen a cot in there and despite the fact that I have told her not to and this is her 5th grandchild (3rd of mine!) she now wants to buy a cot. It seems lovely, one handed drop side with a kick bit on the bottom to release the dropside I guess! May have to have a squizz at a pram. I now really really want a Quinny or similar. Hmm. Cot

Hey all,

been feeling sorry for myself too today have strained my neck for the second time so sore!! Nothing compared to Caz and Folic, hope you are both feeling better, but will be glad when I can take some proper painkillers, paracetamol is pants!! Even took the day off, if no better then doc's on Monday for something stronger I hope

Voodoo cot looks good, I do like John Lewis, i could spend ages and a fortune in there, good thing Perthshire is a bit rubbish for most shopping chains or I'd be penniless!!! :)

Folic, its Friday afternoon, what plans do you have for the weekend? Please try not to stress too much, in two weeks you'll be able to spend time on the baby's room and relax, you dont need to worry about things until then and as someone else says our mum's generation didn't really buy anything until after the birth. Please try this weekend to spend at least a couple of hours not thinking about work, demand that your OH makes you dinner and the two of you settle down on the sofa and cuddle, watch terrible TV or whatever you guys like to do for fun - mind gigging, trampolining or horse riding might not be the best idea at the moment!!! If you dont might just organise the Edinburgh/Perth posse to cheer you up!!!!

Caz, thinking of you, and I'm very glad you are in hospital and being treated well, because at least that way, all eventualities are covered.

Juststarting that cyst thing sounds horrendous, a nightmare ailment, so I hope the antibiotics at least give you some relief.

As for me.....can I have a bit of a whinge? I'm another one having a rotten time at work, I have another four weeks to go, and it just seems so long. Now, I'm not going to claim that I am some massive high flying career woman - I work mornings only, doing accounts for a medium sized business. But......I work alone, taking sole responsibility for this, no one else is trained in my job, so I can't ask for any help. My hospital is 3/4 hour travel from work, so when I have antenatal appts, I miss most of my day at work, and sometimes the whole day, and now that I am attending hospital once a week....well, I'm struggling to keep on top of work. On top of that, its year end, so busiest time of the year, and finally, our computers keep crashing for some reason, so I'm losing hours of valuable time even when I am in work. And on top of that, my employers have only now thought about covering my job whilst I am off, and are somehow expecting me to finish up all the year end stuff, and somehow train someone to take over my job whilst I am off, and there just isn't a hope. I've put in all the extra hours that I can (am a bit restricted in this due to childcare arrangements) and I'm drained. Its a family business, and they are lovely, decent people, so I really don't want to let them down (if I still worked for some big mulitnational like I used to, I'd get signed off ASAP and think no more of it, safe in the knowledge that I would barely be missed), and I can't bear the thought of someone else taking over my work and starting off with a backlog and thinking I'm not capable. Oh, and I'm having terrible cramping, period like pains, ligament pain and what are presumably BH pains. Oh, and insomnia. Just pissed off, really.

On a positive note, I have two lovely friends coming for lunch tomorrow, and I think I'll spend the evening browsing my cookery books to decide what I'll make for them.....