Nov 2011 - Feathering our nests and buying baby vests

[PamSco]

Taking liberties again as there are only 5 posts to go on old thread. Hope everyone is well this morning!

missy we were given a Moses basket on a rocking stand. We kept it in our bedroom, with one end propped up with telephone book to help her trapped wind. She outgrew it at 8 weeks so ,over her into a cot in own room. We had a baby beanbag downstairs for daytime naps (also given to use). Think it helped with her body clock know the diff between night and day. Well, eventually.

Missyraines we have a moses basket on a rocking stand for DD, and I found it great. I brought the whole thing downstairs in the morning, and she took her naps in it. Then, when we were going to bed at night, we took the whole thing back upstairs again. Its true they grow out of them quickly, but I found it worthwhile - and I'm one of those people who bought hardly any of the usual 'must have' baby stuff, because I think most of it is a scam by clever marketing people! (Actually, we didn't buy the moses basket either, we borrowed it! ) From the very first day I got home from hospital, I worked on getting her used to the idea of day and night e.g. I always dressed her in 'daytime' clothes after her morning feed, and never put her in sleepsuits during the day. She always took her daytime naps in the living room, first in the moses basket, then in the buggy when she was bigger, and only ever went into her cot when it was bedtime. I'm not claiming that she understood all this from the start, obviously she was oblivious for at least the first couple of months, but by doing it that way from the start, it meant we didn't have to introduce a routine at a later stage. It worked well for us, although its each to their own. I know someone else on this thread (can't remember who, as it was about 2000 posts ago!) said they hate seeing small babies 'dressed', that there is no need for it, and I remember thinking 'oooh, you would hate my way of doing things then!' because I was all about the getting dressed etc from day one. I just found it worked for us.

Horrible night last night and day tOday. As of right now OH has moved back to his mums and she has weighed right in and said some rubbish stuff. So not only am I facing this on my own but now have those awful feelings that actually I was only ever tolerated rather than liked. I've asked OH to come round to talk but not holding out much hope. Also now I have practical fears such as that Mil was paying for pram. Am not doing too good at the moment.
Cali keep out that hospital! Hope everyone is ok. Am sorry to throw such a downer on everyone x

voodoomunkee Sorry you're having such a rough time. Try not to worry about being a downer - we're an ear if you need it, only wish I could do more.

Thank u, honestly I feel awful that am stressing out the thread etc and whining on bout my idiocy. Hurt that his mum has said some awful things and nOw worried sick ihave no pram etc. Let alone the thought that I'm going to have to face all this on my own. Am actually a little bit scared.

oh voodoo don't think you are bringing the thread down, we are here for support, and support is what you need. You're certainly not whining.

Do you have real life support? Sister? Friends nearby? Parents?

Just my mum and a couple of close friends/colleagues. Didnt want to tell my mum just yet as she is just going to worry and she has enough to worry about with my big brother and my dad seeming a bit poorly. Am not normally such a glass half empty type person, I know this isnt so much of a shock but it still knocks the wind out my sails a bit. Questioning so much and trying to keep it all together for the dc's. Really feeling like I dont actually know my OH.

Moosey I read somewhere that the clicking is air bubbles in your amniotic fluid, dont know how the air gets in there though

Missey We bought a moses basket and stand for the bump, got the clair de lune one, which seems bigger than the rest of them and doesnt have a hood or any frilly malarky, am planning to bring it down during the day for naps and upstairs at night to put in our bedroom like Snoozle. I do like your idea of dressing for day and night possibly more cos I like a routine than anything else

Voodoo please try to ignore what your OH's mother has said about you, when I was dumped by my ex-fiance there were so many horrid comments made by him and his family and it was so upsetting at a terrible time. People say horrid things at these times, often they don't really mean it and wish that they hadn't afterwards. Re the pram, your OH does still need to help you financially out whatever happens so try not to worry too much at the moment, it's not good for the bub and there are enough things going on as it is. If you are anywhere near Perthshire I'd be happy to come round with a big bar of chocolate and terrible jokes to try to cheer you up :)

cali glad baby was ok.

can't remember who asked about moses baskets. we had one (although was borrowed) ds was in it till about 6 months it was on a normal non rocking stand and fit in beside my bed, it is recommended for baby to be in your room for the first 6 months to reduce risk of cot death. There was no way we could fit a cotbed in our room. we're hopefully borrowing the same one again this time, but if db can't repair it (something wrong with it, but of it can't remember what now) i'll be buying another one.

voodoo i'm sorry it came to that, and sorry his mother has been a bitch since. I hope he comes to his senses and realises he needs to work at it. i'm going to pm you about something as it's a bit personal. Don't forget if needs be you could always get a pram from ebay.

voodoo, I cant speak for everyone, but you're not bringing me down, and I feel glad that you have a forum for talking about this stuff here, please dont stop because you feel worried about doing it. I'm sorry you feel so bad though. It must be frightening and dissappointing. Its hard now but it might make things easier in the future, one way or another. And his mum can weigh right back out again, frankly. You're a mum, you know its a mum's job to side with her babies. Who knows how she felt six months or a year ago. Now all she can see is her baby hurting and you on the other side of it. Most rational people would, in time, begin to see the balance, and she might, and if she doesnt, she's being blind because relationship problems are rarely just one person's doing. And stop worrying about burdneing your mum - would you rather your kids came to you or tried to save you some hurt? Of couse the wind will be out of your sails, dont be afraid to ask other people to blow you along a bit.
And chip, I know its a different situation but my son really struggled to start breastfeeding - he had a tongue tie but noone checked until a random midwife on a visit from another health authority happened to see him cry, and he could feed froma bottle but not from me (and no one told me to pump, so he got no colostrom, just formula) and I was so devastated when everyone kept telling me just to give up. But I didnt and bar those first few days, he was breastfed for 14 months with no further bottles at all - in fact, once he learnt the boob, he wouldnt go back. It still can work for you. But the other thing I learnt was how ill I made myself trying to make it work and I wish I could have been in a more rational place and seen that me breastfeeding was not more important than me being a calm and happy and healthy mother. Breastmilk isnt the only thing we give our babies.
Other things - we still have a lenghty names list, with ones we like but flaws with them, like not going with my sons name or being hard to abreviate. We didnt use a moses basket, went straight to a cot bed, and will probably do so again. looked into co-sleepers, but they are so expensive for a few months, and I dont think I could sleep with genuine cosleeping.

Can I ask a really odd question? Seeing as it has been nearly 11 years since I was last in labour and cannot remember all the ins n outs so to speak.... Braxton Hicks.... they can hurt rather than just be a 'tightening'? I honestly thought that the bump was just kicking my bladder but now am more and more convinced tis BH? Its like a tight but sharp pain about where I imagine is my bladder! Nothing that is regular or anything but it bloody hurts! Am I being really dense?

i never had them, but i believe they can hurt, cause don't some people think it's the real thing??

voodoo Don't you worry - we're all here for support in situations just like these!
Ex-MiLs get horrid in break-ups. Don't let yourself get dragged down with her - you'll end up in a "he said she said" house of horrors - just take it slow and have some good chats with mother/sisters/family etc.

I'm getting pains when Sprout presses down on my bladder - could be the same?

Today I found out we're having a house guest for three weeks starting next Thursday - I'm hoping that a) it won't drive me insane and b) I'll get some help with housework. Probably not - she'll be working full time, so I'm expecting to be the good housewife for not just DP but an additional adult.
Am a bit scared that she won't move out on the decided date, too, but I'm keeping that positive and happy - she'll find a house/flat, we'll be happy bunnies, and it will be cool to have someone to talk to other than DP!

Yes, its like a squeezing or something dragged along it type pain!!

What gets me is how little OH had told her and I didnt feel it was right to start a slanging match. He created so many problems last night and was a not very nice person at all yet all he had told her was that I had nagged him and thats why he left! Whilst this was at my DD's school where they had come to find me to make me return my car key. Hmm, I KNOW how unreasonable they are being and I know that she will of course take his side but in my head all I can think is god no here we go again, its just like my ex. All my normal coping strategies are out the window - hot bath, vodka etc!!!! Am sure it will work out one way or not! Really appreciative of all the support ladies. x

remind me where abouts you are in the country voodoo hold on he left yesterday and came straight round (with his mother) to your dd's school to get the keys to the car back??? She's being stupid cause if you two do get back together how does she and you now move on past her comments. What about a glass of wine? only one obviously but you are allowed that.

Oh voodoo poor you. Nothing new to say, but just wanted to add my support to that of everyone else on here. I really feel for you, as if being around 7 months pregnant isn't enough to cope with. I really hope that you work things out for the best,whatever that is, and yes - just ignore nasty MIL's comments - not helpful, not kind and as someone else said probably just due to her desire to protect her son. Still, makes me cross that she feels able to say things like that knowing that you're pregnant and have enough on your plate without her sticking her nose in. Anyway. Hugs!

voodoo Ah - drama monkies! What you need is a thimble of wine, a good meal and the line "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all" on the tip of your tongue. Develop a "no drama" policy and stick to it - i.e. if you come around my children's school, saying nasty things, you will lose privileges (such as seeing LO), and you'll only get it back if you behave. "This is why you can't have nice things" is also a good philosophy.

I found with people like that, a hard line "if you act like a child, you get treated like a child" policy is the only thing to keep you sane.

Also - if he left you because you were nagging him, he was obviously not man enough to be what you needed him to be!

takes by hat off and goes to cook dinner

Agree strongly with the comments! I really feel she has compounded the issues that we were having anyway and obviously there have been other things said that I think should probably not be shared on here! I would just like to say though that my dc's are fab, they are supportive and proud of their mum who works hard and I was worried I was letting them down until I had a little chat to them and they have made it very clear in adolescent speak that that is definitely not the case. Things like this are sent to make us the people we are meant to be I feel :)

that's the main thing as far as i'm concerned voodoo as long as your dc's are all happy, and have no issues that's all that matters.

Awwww voodoo massive hugs!!! No need to worry about saying stuff on here get it all out... I can't really offer any advice on the situation other than MiL needs to back off and is out of order and how old is your OH if he's running back to his mum just because you're nagging? (obviously not saying you are just going on what you said he told her)

I second the glass of wine or a choccy bar you need a treat, and how lovely of your DC's to be so understanding!!

I hope things get better for you whether that's sorting things out with other half or telling him where to go and jump!

voodoo sending love to you. hope your doing as ok as you can. xx

I've been having really dull ache period type pains low down on and off now for over a week. Mainly in the evening. They really feel like I'm about to come on, but my midwife today suggested they could be braxton hicks pains... when I get tightenings though they are usually over the entire of my bump.

GTT results came back today! No diabetes! yay! :) made me feel so much better. If X is big at least its because he's naturally growing that way rather than me pumping him full of sugar :)

Consultant appointment tomorrow... looking forward to her take on his estimated weight.

Voodoo oh sweetie, you poor thing sounds like a really really shite day. I'd say good riddance to your MIL but frankly only you know what to do for the best because of course your OP is a part of that package. I hope it resolves quickly and with the minimum of stress, in an ideal world I hope you get your OH back as a sane, loving and useful human being but whatever works for the best I guess. I really, really don't want to stress you but can I just ask you to keep an eye on those tightenings. I was unsure about the whole Hicks/contraction thing with Willow and was told BHs tend to be across the whole bump top to bottom but early contractions just stay fairly low down, BHs also fade away if you move, but contractions get worse if you move. Mine hurt with Willow but I never felt any BHs with my son. I hope they've disappeared anyway - and even if they were early contractions they can and will stop for many women - but don't worry about bothering a MW if you have any concerns - they really won't mind.
Chip I'm sorry about the feeding mare. We're so not there yet not for at least three or four weeks but it is already worrying me - I can't be there all the time either - I'll admit to being v jealous of the first time mums who can, but then they have my sympathy too because what a first taste of motherhood :( I hope Sylvie-Rose gets many more boob feeds and works out that's the way to go. And dear god after all this pumping I hope Willow does too.
Bit of an up and down day today. DS was quiet after the child minders but wants to go back tomorrow. He's being quite reserved with me full stop, I think because from being his full time mum we now see so much less of each other. Plus his whole world is upside down.
On the plus side I had a lovely long cuddle with Willow, and she had a lovely stable day doing better on the cpap and only one bradycardia (slow hb). On the downside they are still worried about why she's tiring more than she was at first and if she has another night of being like that they want to do a lumbar puncture :( :( :( to rule out meningitis :( :( :( Our doc says he's being super super cautious but both words strike utter fear in my heart. I'm afraid I'm going to have to beg for more good vibes please. Can't wait til I'm in a position of near normality when I can return them all to you.

Eugh, we have SO not mastered the bedtime routine, its a flaming nightmare! How is it done? We now take it in turns, which has only worked the last six or seven weeks, before that it had to be me. WE take him up, do nappy and pijamas, come down, get milk, say night night to the other parent, then go up, two books max with milk, sleeping bag, teeth - possibly another book if he wants it and only had one before teeth) then light off, into cot and then the hour long sitting and waiting and trying to sush and stroking and trying to ignore and singing and so on and so on and so on begins. And I have tummy pain and enough gas to keep Richard Branson going for a year, my anxiety is sky high thisevening, and I dont want to go to work tomorrow and I really really need to and I am tired out and just feeling it a bit. Hmph. I feel like a spoilt brat, my partner is outstanding, my pregnancy is fine if rather uncomfortable so far, we can afford what we need (you know, apart from the loft extension type things) and our families, while imperfect, really aint that bad. So I apologise for having a moan. Its none of it that bad. My anxiety makes it horrible and difficult. That bit is bad. The rest, normal.

Sorry Poppet. Didnt see your post. Tough day. But I think coming back from the childminders subdued is fantastic! SO much better than coming back outright distressed. we had mega problems getting my son cared for, it was such a battle. He's settled now though, it happens in th end. And I hope Willow is ok. Its good she is getting prompt care with everything. I am sending her and you lots of positive vibes. I may not be able to muster them for my low key grizzley evening but I can certianly muster them for you and your little girl.

voodoo sorry to hear you are having a rough time! If MIL was smart she would keep out of it (try not to let her get you down, she is probably hurt seeing her son hurt and being defensive... or a cow - sorry but some people just are). Your children are proud of you so keep your chin up:) Stay as unstressed as possible so a glass of wine or a really yummy treat you wouldn't normally have might be in order.

As to braxton hicks.... first timer here so might be bubba pushing on my diaphragm but I think they are quite uncomfortable and take my breath away... so I have to practice breathing through them.

poppet sending you and willow tons of goods vibes!!