Nov 2011 - Feathering our nests and buying baby vests

[PamSco]

Taking liberties again as there are only 5 posts to go on old thread. Hope everyone is well this morning!

Lady Sylvia Rose sounds a really nice idea. let me know when and how to contribute.

i'm in too. The rose is a lovely idea.

I think the rose would be apt when the time is right. I feel honoured to be part of such a caring & thoughtful group xx

Let me know when/how I can help with this xx

Count me in too. Id like to contribute as well. The Rose is a lovely idea.

Am I the only one thinking of the song by Bette Midler?

Chip i am sooo sorry to hear your news... i cannot imagine how you and your family must be feeling nor going through right now. Sending hugs your way.

I often peep in and have a read on this thread as i too am due a Nov baby, i joined many months ago, but as this thread moves soo fast i kind of lost touch and just pop in for a read every so often. I know i'm not part of the group as much as everyone else, but i would like to contribute something so i'll keep a look out for the info.

xx

Hi guys

I have heard from CM, she is obviously very upset but thanks everyone for thinking about her.

We're getting a rose named for her from the money we have raised but- and this is a huge but- she is planting a rose garden so frankly I think you guys sending her one as well would be an incredible thing. The one you ahve found sounds perfect, when my cousin died age 5 my Uncle planted a naomi rose for ehr and I still know where it is in the Churchyard (I was the smae age)

If somene wants to message me that theya re taking charge I will pass on her address as I have it now.

Thank you and God bless you for the love you are showing her X

I would also like to contribute. I too have fallen behind on this thread but Chip has always been such a source of wisdom and support for so many. I am so gutted for her and her family. It's just too cruel.

A rose is a wonderful, wonderful idea, and TwoJacks what an amazing find with the name. I'd very much like to contribute too, but agree that we should maybe wait a little. CM has so much to deal with right now :( I'm no gardener but I think you have to plant roses at a certain time of the year, but I don't know when that is? Anyway we can sort that out nearer the time. Just let me know how to contribute. Peachy thanks so much for keeping us in the loop. Give CM our thoughts and prayers.

I'm so so sorry chip.....no words. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. xx

Think the rose is a lovely idea...would definitely like to contribute/help sort when everyone feels the time is right. Take care everyone x

I'm in too. Thank you Peachy for passing on our thoughts.

Morning ladies,

poppet, it depends on the type of rose, you have to plant bare rooted ones in Nov time, but you can have containerised ones at any time.

I really don't mind arranging the rose, there are a fair few of us, so we could get a few, but to be honest, I'm not the most organised person at the moment so if someone else wants to organise things I have no problem with that at all. I'll pm Peachy anyway and get CM's address. Merlioness, where else did you see that rose?

Hope everyone is feeling okay today, after such horrible news it is hard, but at least it's Friday and there are a fair few of you guys finishing up for mat leave today, so hope you have a good last day, I've been on sick leave all week, but had to hide in the house, at least next week I'm on annual leave/mat leave and I can actually go out and do something, but I have almost filled the freezer with pre-cooked meals and some baking for the first weeks after bubs comes that DH should be able to cope with reheating, although I might have to actually defrost them first for him :)

TwoJacks thanks for offering - I am happy to help in any way I can - I could collect in contributions if you like & pass over to you as I wouldn't know where to start with roses - let me know as that might just be over-complicating things. The Lady Sylvia looks perfect - if we send more than 1 variety Peace and Remember Me I think are lovely from memory.

Seeing consultant today for scan date...

You could set up payment via paypal? Via PM?

Been awake since 3am with period-type pain. Think it's just baby's head stretching things but it's been so long since I had a period I'd forgotten how grim it is!

Glad it's Friday and hope everyone is doing well.

IM came yesterday and kept going on about strep b test and it's ok if I've changed my mind about homebirth. Got a bit fed up in the end, feels like she's changed her mind or doesn't have confidence in my homebirth now.

She kept pointing out that strep b test would mean hospital birth on IV antibiotics. I'm nothing risk for it, didn't have it with DD and they don't routinely test for it on NHS so why would I have the test.

Just feels like she's looking for a reason to get me into hospital rather than home.

Feel like I should have stuck with the NHS midwife afterall. At least their lack of faith in me was free!

If there's a PayPal account or something similar that would be the easiest way to give money, maybe?

I feel kind of guilty venting here now - no amount of stress I'm going through could possibly compare :(

Spent all of yesterday in the assessment unit for BP monitoring - all looking fine so far, but I'm being kept an eye on.

House guest out tomorrow, but sprung a final "Oh, can you help me move" on us last minute (literally this morning) - but I'm in for monitoring again tomorrow so DP can't drive her. So glad to get rid - she's stopped doing her dishes promptly, had the gall to guilt trip us about not having any food (didn't ask for food, then came home sighing that she "failed her first work assessment because she hadn't eaten all day"... All she had to do was ask!) - I've turned into a right mare towards her, and I feel so guilty for snapping at her, but I just can't tolerate it any more.

I'm nesting like mad, and running out of puff for it - but my house is tidier! One more week and we'll be on even keel again.

PMA: Two parcels arrived with baby clothes from my mother! And another one is on it's way with a duvet and pillow... Woo!
DP adopted a polar bear as her birthday present the other day, too - it's my favourite animal, and very endangered, so the WWF adoption gift was perfect!

TwoJack I saw the rose here and I preferred the fuller bloom to the Dave Austin one, but I really do not mind. We could get a mix of both? This page suggest that we can buy the rose un til end of March, but I would have no idea if chip is likely to be still too sore. Caz can we get your thoughts?

TwoJack, hope you are feeling better

alicat hope consultant goes well

X posted!
Kelly that's a bit crappy that she is pulling that now, so late?! Don't take her to heart. If you want your homebirth, have it. You are paying her for a service afterall!

Cali Not good about assessment unit, but better be safe I guess.
I'm so relieved that your houseguest will be leaving tomorrow. That should help you BP.
Sorry, not your fault that she doesn't eat. She isn't exactly a toddler that you have a duty of care to..?
Don't think you should feel guilty. She has simply pushed you too far. I'dhave snapped ages ago!
I love the polar bear adoption. Post a picture when you have one please? They look so cute.

All well here so far, though I am being troubled by loads of anxiety for no reason whatsoever!
Hope everyone has a good Friday

I can help you organise Two Jacks if that helps? I must have a pay pal account as buy from ebay (on an irregular basis)?

x

Merlioness obviously everyone is different, its difficult to predict how chip might be feeling any time over the next few months but personally for the me, the first 3 months after Belle died I was in a complete shock bubble, I can remember very little at all and its all one big haze, like I'd completely shut down. Reality set in at 3 months and I was horrendous for a long while after that but I was feeling again at least, and I can remember what was going on.

I'm struggling to know exactly what to suggest... I know she'll be in no place to deal with any extra stuff the next month or so at all, and then Christmas will be upon her before she knows it and that will be hell. Organising Sylvie-Rose's funeral and the aftermath afterwards will be all consuming, and of course she has the boys to look after too. Christmas and New year will be unbearable but I know I appreciated people who remembered Belle's 1st Christmas last year with little token gestures in her memory - do you think we could get something organised to arrive around Christmas time maybe? Or just after the new year in the first few days of January when there isn't all the christmas crap going on... I don't know much about roses either tbh, my Dad has been more or less looking after ours!! The Lady Sylvia Rose looks just perfect though.

This company is run by another angel Mummy and she makes lots of cards and little things to remember babies. She is always really happy to personalise things with names. One of the cards I cherish the most is the one that had been made for us and had Belle's name on the front. Like it was really for her rather than just another general we're really sorry shop bought sympathy card. This company is shutting for a few months soon as the lady is due to give birth soon too though, she is taking orders to the end of November. www.facebook.com/CarLisaCrafts.BecauseMemoriesMatter

I'm feeling awful, there is so much I want to do for chip right now, I'm hating the timing where I'm so self-involved at the moment with Tuesday coming up and knowing I won't have the time to dedicate to organising anything as it deserves. I wish I could volunteer myself, but right now I know its not possible. :( I'm so sorry.

Oh also, we're likely to collect far more money than will be needed for the rose. The Autumn 2010 ladies asked me what I wanted done with the remainder and a large donation was made to Sands in Anabelle's name from them. (My charity choice) I don't whether people think this is an option here too? Sending a donation somewhere of chips choice?

I also recieved lots of pages of messages inside the card, that one person had collated through email from everyone on the board who wanted to send one and printed it off.

Found the ladies full website now... www.carlisacrafts.com/

Caz of course everyone is different. I didn't mean that we could stamp a timeframe on Chip at all. Sorry if it came across that way :(
I was after your personal experience, as I cannot even begin to imagine the pain that comes with losing your beloved child. Thank you for sharing your experience.
Maybe we could play it by ear.

I was thinking about Christmas time too, but I personally don't know if it seems too soon, especially with what you said about the numbness and darkness that surounds you.

I really like the idea of a personalised card! Ladies, what do you think? Thank you for the link, Caz.

Please don't feel bad about not being able to fully involve yourself. You have a very important event coming up and you have been through so much to get there. Plus, this is all being done as a group and I don't think it matters who actually organises this, as it is from all of us together.

Sorry again if my wording is not the greatest. I hope that none of the above offends, or rubs anyone in the wrong way

morning ladies, i too like the idea of a personalised card. i have an paypal account but have to admit i've only ever used it through ebay so have no idea how to send unprompted payments.

i was thinking christmas as well, but then i remember it's actually not that far off. It's really difficult to know what's best.

I'm not going to be able to post much if anything over the next week as ds and i are away till next friday. I wanted to wish caz all the best luck in the world for Tuesday, not long now till you'll be holding your little boy.

hope everyone has a good week.

cali yay for her going soon and goodluck for the monitoring.

no, you didn't come across like that at all merlioness. I know its very difficult right now to know what is best to do. Sorry, its just remembering all the rawness, its so easy to be put right back there, and I'm really feeling it for chip at the moment. I do think Christmas/New Year is a probably a good timescale though, I'm sure chip will appreciate Sylvie-Rose being remembered around it all. From all the bereaved parents I unfortunately now know, we're all in agreement that gestures remembering and including our babies/children at significant times of year and dates 'help' you to get through them.