January 2012 - Thread 4

[shonnomanom]

Can believe we are on Thread 4 already! We must chat too much

capy I like Padme too. And as for the sleeping thing - I'm having real trouble with sleeping at the moment; I inevitably wake up after 45-60 minutes of sleep and then am awake for ages. And last night I woke up and DESPERATELY NEEDED to sleep on my right hand side. Unfortunately I then didn't move again and woke up early with a really awful smushed up cramp like feeling in my ribs at the back on the right. I still have it now - guess my organs are all squished, because I have, ahem, bloomed a lot in the last few weeks.

And to everyone who likes the name Theo - I also love it and it's on our list, but I know a 6 month old called Theo and my (admittedly anecdotal) experience shows it's increasing in popularity. Not sure it would stop me though.

Am having the crappiest day already - not aided by lack of sleep and being hyper emotional. As I've already whinged about, my NCT class was just cancelled. I've managed to book on the only available space for 2011 classes nearby but sadly it's for late Nov/early Dec babies, so I'll be 4-6 weeks behind everyone else in my class. Even if I could get on a class starting in 2012 it would most likely be far too late for me to complete the course, as I'd be due on the 2nd week! And DH will have to miss most of the classes due to his overseas detachment. So, of the course I'm booked on, I need to miss the first class due to work, then I'll be alone for two more before DH comes along for the last two. And I'll be the weird one who is due in January. Am (ridiculously) >< this close to weeping about it.

Plus I'm having computer fail at a totally crucial time and I spent an hour trying to make InDesign do what I need it to do (print to separate PDF pages, not spreads). Achieved it now but felt like hurling something at the screen in frustration. And finally, the Bookseller made an error with the job advert for my maternity cover so 5 of the 8 candidates we wanted to invite for interview were misinformed about the location of the job and now need to withdraw their applications.

Ok, ok, so these are all imaginary problems really and normally I wouldn't bat an eyelid. Please reassure me that I'm not the only one who is over-reacting to the most basic stuff!

Ghost - yesterday I shouted at Dh on the phone because he offered to do the shop on the way home. I think it's safe to say you're not the only one being irrational - especially as it's very rare for me to lose my temper. I'm more likely to fume quietly or to cry than actually get grumpy with someone.

And I've been having the same insomnia issues - absolutely exhausted at night, but unable to get to sleep, not helped by a selection of (or all of) heartburn, nausea, baby kicking, very achey legs.

On the plus side my Boots parenting club vouchers for the free changing bag finally arrived so I'm going to go pick up my freebie and gloat over it.

Oh - and Dh got a huge guilt trip on about wanting me to make bump-y friends and said we should pay for the NCT classes as well as the hypnobirthing, but when we looked at it two of the classes would require him to take a half day off work and he only has one day annual leave left which we're saving for the late-on MW appts, so there's not much point going, imo. Now I feel worse about it than if he'd never mentioned it.

Still - stiff upper lip and am going to go to Pilates tonight (hopefully) so could maybe meet some of the other pregnant women who are still working...
Right. Better go to my bumps and babies group now and hope there's another bump there this week.

Thank God I've met the Oxfordshire girls off this thread or I'd be really glum about the friends thing atm. and to ghost

Anyone else feel like they're about to throw up a whale? Or a beach ball ar best??? IT hit me about 10mins into the lesson and still hasn't stopped. Hoping it's wind and some soda will dislodge it.

Also, anyone started looking into nurseries? I'm going to have to go back to work at 6 months ish it looks like, latest Sept. Had a look at some oftsted reports, but they're all good and frankly don't tell me much. Don't even know what hours I'll be looking at having, so it all feels a bit pointless. Hoping work will be flexible and maybe allow me to work 4 full days rather than 5 parts...

Anyway. Talking of work...

and I know what you mean re: friends. I seem to not have any really (some that call themselves my friends haven't even acknowledged my pregnancy), but, hey-ho!

Oeisha- please consider a child minder I have worked in day nurseries and as a nanny and as a child minder. The child minder is a good option and though she will have a few weeks holiday a year the family home environment is much better for a child under 1 as they can only have 1 under 1 and 3 under 3. They will do more normal things for baby than in a nursery and be more flexible about hours to. My ds2 went to a lovely childminder who even throw in free lunch and she was a bargain at £3.50 and hour ( though we are out side London but still some are £4.50). D--nursery's will be mega expensive to. Ofsted inspections won't tell you much I agree. Often these nursery have a hi turn over of staff. I worked in nursery's and hated them.

:( to oeisha and cakes I also flew off the handle at dh last night, he said he would be home from his govenor meeting by 9.30, didn't have signal in the school so phoned me at 9.30 to say he was just leaving as they had run over. Totally irrational but i cried for hours then got really angry! Stupid hormones

I think dh and i have chosen a name (and im very sorry as ive stolen it from one of you!) Dh love Kali but was concerned about the negitive connotations so did some research and came up with callie pronounced the same but Greek meaning beauty. So i think that's the one!

Having worked as a cm (so obviously no bias at all) I would agree that its a fantastic option and much more relaxed environment. but visit as many miseries and cms as you can, that's the only way you will know if its right for you

Callie sounds lovely addicted I wasn't so keen on Kali when OH explained some of the meanings in Punjabi. Fine for a goddess but maybe not for a little girl.

I think Theo will be my back up name (if i can get OH past his Lenny Henry issues ) We are team pink but better safe than sorry. I also like Thea for a girl.

Hi everyone,

Been off the radar for a few days, and having just read through reams of posts, I now can't remember who's been doing what, so apart from the raging hormones, I hope you're all well!

capy a friend's just had a Theo, and I've heard of a few more, but it's a great name you both like, so why not!

We're totally stuck on boys names, but have one sorted for a girl, so I'm hoping it's a girls purely for ease. Although DD's decided she wants a little sister called Thomas! Sigh.

oiesha - I had dreadful piles after having DD, and had to suffer the humiliation of the doctor slapping on a pair of rubber gloves and doing an examination (he was a man too!) I couldn't look him in the face for months after that. And to top it off, the chemist didn't have the right cream on the prescription so he did the typical bellowing "Mrs G, that piles cream you're after..." across the crowded pharmacy. Suffice to say I'll be stocking up on the lactulose in advance this time round!

DD's in nursery and has been since she was 9 months. She absolutely loves it (2 weeks of misery to settle in, but I think we'd have had that anywhere)! I really didn't want to go down the childminder route (sorry ladies above!) because I wanted her to mix with as many children as possible of her own age, and she's now so sociable, chatty and confident that I couldn't ask for any more. Also for us the nursery hours were better than we could get at a CM (6.45am - 7pm - not that she's in there all that time, obviously, as that would be too horrible for words, but it's handy if something crops up!) In nursery they can only have 3 under 2s to one carer, so the ratio's not too bad. Definitely agree that you must visit as many nurseries/CMs as you can before you decide - you need to be happy with whoever you choose. As around for recommendations too.

ghost - I accidentally ended up in an NCT group where I was offically due 6-3 weeks later than everyone else - as it worked out with DD being a bit early and the last one being 2 weeks late, there's only a week between them. In some ways it's quite handy as well, as they can give you loads of advice and help by the time your DC comes along.

crikey - sorry, that's a tome and a half! I must have missed you all!

oops - that should obviously be ask around for recommendations too!

I just had a bump in the car. Feel so stupid as it was mostly just because I was tired and not concentrating and pregnant and I feel like I'm a huge burden to DH - emotionally and financially. I can't stop crying because I've just cost us several hundred pounds and I'm not earning anything like that much. I'm a big stupid waste of money and it's all due to me that we're having a baby now because I couldn;t wait any longer, but if we'd waited then we'd have had more money and wouldn;t be so stressed and I just feel so guilty and awful.

Makes take a deep breath. How bad a bump was it (did the seatbelt tighten around your bump?)

That is all hormones talking, if you asked him he would not say you were a burden (unless hes a total tosser) he is also just as excited for this baby as you are and once it comes along will wonder how his life could have been complete without dc.

There is NEVER a 'right' time financially to have children, you could always do with alittle bit more money. But its about what you do with what you have and the memories you make not about how much money you have. Do you honestly look back on your childhood and think it would have been better if only we had more money?

Concentrate on what you have, you will feel better soon

cakes - addicted is right, there really is never a good time financially. And let's face it, if you'd made more money you'd probably just have spent it without really thinking about it, so better to have the baby now when you really want it, rather than later when you start panicking about your body clock (voice of experience there!) which is just an added other stress.

Cars are stupid anyway.

oh cakes! have a . Poor you. Liked addicted, it's just the hormones talking, and your lovely DH will just be glad that you and sproglet are ok. These things happen. If the car is intact you don't have to fix the cosmetic stuff, you know - our big estate car is covered in dents from kids on the street and rude people at DH's work and the time when I swiped it against the trolley park at the supermarket . Frankly, we just leave the dents in! Good to hear you're ok, and don't worry, we all curse ourselves for doing silly things, but at least this time you have the hormones and person-growing to blame it on.

fryn thank you, that's made me feel a bit better. Some of the other mums could easily run late and like you say it won't matter in the long run, it will just be nice to know people.

addicted and parsley I might secretly still love the idea of the name Kali but it's quite a lot to live up to. Imagine if the little girl was a willful little monster - I'd deserve it, wouldn't I? . I really love the name Callie but for various reasons would want a more formal birth certificate name - Calliope though? I also quite like Cassie (Cassandra, even with the slightly negative literary connotations, or Cassidy, which I like but seems to be judged as very butch and American around MN).

and thanks for the hugs oeisha and cakes - needed it! To round things off, my intern has made what could have been a really serious mistake today (it looks like it will be ok). It's something I warned her about and gave her specific strategies to avoid, but it looks like she thought she could work faster if she skipped a step, which has resulted in a big error. Thankfully all looks ok but if it turns out not to be I'm probably going to get my hand slapped by one of the other departments. The poor girl was physically shaking when she told me - she's a great intern and very sharp, but she does sometimes think she knows better and so occasionally misses things. That's what internships are all about though - you learn what's important to do properly!

I want this day to be over already...

Like addicted said , I mean...

oh, and my copy of Birth and Beyond just arrived today, so that has to be a good thing. Knowledge is power and all...

I've booked an appt at the docs' just so they can have a listen with the doppler as I haven't felt Sproglet move since it happened and now I'm panicking, plus I hurt my neck and it's not easing off.

Luckily my mum, who lives an hour away, was doing a job in Windsor which is only about half an hour away so she's coming over to be with me cos she knows how upset I am. I just feel such an idiot.

And ghost - it's not our car we're going to have to pay for

Oh poor you cakes, you sound sso upset. I completely agree though that there never seems to be a 'right' time to have a baby, things can always be more sorted or we could be a bit more financially sorted. But I have seen so many people do this and put it off so late and then end up having trouble ttc. So although we are struggling making ends meet and have so so muc debt to pay off, I'd rather have a dc now and just deal with things as they come along. You have a roof over your head, food and baby basics, and you have all the love in the world. You and your DH won't remember the bump you had in the car when you see the face of your little angel, it will all be worth it in the end. Hormones are awful though, and I also feel a bit of a danger to the public when I'm driving when pregnant, not a good combo :(

Ahh Theo and Callie are lovely names! How exciting! We are really stuck with boys names, and time seems to be flying by...

My DD has been at nursery for a year now and we love it. She really enjoys being around babies/children the same age as her, it really made her want to achieve her milestones a lot quicker. And the fact that there is more than one person means we haven't had the problems that our friends with CM or nannies have had when they go off sick/on AL. And the longer hours means you have more flexibility in arranging things, especially in an emergency when you have to stay at work late etc. All the activities are ages specific so she gets so much encouragement and support in what her needs are, rather than fitting in with older kids because she's the only under 1 or under 2 in the group. It is a very personal choice though but I guess I've just seen friends start with CM/nannies and then switch to nurseries later on after having difficulties. But then again when they start school some children are still picked up by the same CM that they use to go to as a baby/toddler so they get the continuity of care with the same friendly face. So just do lots of visits/interviews until you feel happy with your choice.

Right I will try to catch up on the rest of the posts a bit later, DD has been awake for the last 15 mins so I think I better rescue her now!

Hi everyone, loving the name game being played on here.
As are team blue, and really stuggled with finding a boys name we loved last time - I am trying not to stress about it. Anything I say DH has something against it.
It it had been team pink we were sorted for names.
So my list: Dylan, Zachary, Mason, Jacob (although supposed to be populardue to Twilight, so unsure), and Ethan. The other night DH said Mason, it has to be Mason (don't know why!) - so now I am waiting to see what he looks like, as I did when DD was born!

Had 2nd opinion at hospital today re. ELCS or VBAC and was made to feel SO stupid for even being there. In the end it was quite positive, as she said it was 'our choice' and if we were definite then we'd decide on a date in December. She also cancelled our previous Consultant's appointment and seems to be taking over our care?
Still doesn't take away from the fact my my mat notes now say 'consultant Dr X did not request 2nd opinion, patient is pushing this herself' - so half of me feels stupid and half of me feels 'so what, it's our baby, no one else matters, as long as we're doing what we feel is right'.

So I'm a bit emotional now. Not sure how to feel. Need to sleep on it before I can get over being made to feel so silly at the hospital and just concentrate on our baby...

grrrr, creme egg bar will cheer me up

Ghost that funny dh likes formal names on the birth cert. (dd is millie but her cert says Amelia) he hasn't even batted an eyelid, i expected him to rule it out because of not having a formal name but he's the
one pushing for it!

Mia that is exactly right, your baby YOUR BODY if you want a 2 opinion or even a 42nd opinion you should push for it. No one can tell you how you feel.

Has anyone seen red recently? Did she manage to get a scan?

Glad your mums coming cakes and your getting baby checked out. often its just baby is as shocked as you are so stops moving or it could have just fallen asleep. Dont stress too much, they are well padded in there

sorry cakes didn't mean to come across as quite so insensitive. But still glad you're ok, and I'm sure the little one will be more than fine, but it makes sense to get checked out anyway. I know things are tough at the moment with work etc but just think about how only you can nurture your little family - with all the will in the world your DH couldn't do it - and ultimately the menfolk would happily put off having a baby for years and years! You and your DH are in it together and you know he's not thinking those things, it's just your hormones going bonkers. anyway, with great formality and seriousness I would like to bestow upon you my first ever MN [hug] because you sound like you need it.

Wow glad to know it isn't just me I have been a real grouch and started going to bed at 9.30-10 pm leaving dh downstairs I just can't keep my eyes open.

Thanks ghost really needing lots of hugs today so will gratefully receive with MN-y .
And your comment isn;t insensitive - our car is covered in supermarket grazes, including the time Dh reversed into a 4x4 in a temper, it was just unfortunate that I involved another car.

Baby's heartbeat was good and strong, although the movement has been very reduced this afternoon, so have calmed down a bit on that front. I, however, have whiplash, which is lovely and just what I needed.

Thank you all for your sympthy and support, it means a lot. xxxx

Glad to hear your wee one is ok cakes. Hope you feel better soon too

We're pretty much down to 2 names I think for our baby girl - we're thinking either Sadie or Melody...keep switching between which one I like best..