January 2012 - Thread 4

[shonnomanom]

Can believe we are on Thread 4 already! We must chat too much

glad the parental situation is improving fish. Seems we're all having issues in that dept, what with my FIL over from Spain for 5 weeks so we're having to share him around all the houses - does my head in. Then my DF is bringing his new gf over to meet us for first time in few weeks, not sure how I feel about that but can't begrudge him happiness or a bit of company since mum died.

Anyhoo - having the worst day in work. My boss, clearly not replacing me when I leave on mat leave, won't stop banging on about when I am coming back (er...never!) - and has now given me this HUGE task to do in preparation for some major changes that are happening in our dept NEXT APRIL 2012!!!! Its humongous, I honestly don't even know where to begin. Clearly she doesn't know how to want to do it herself when I am gone, so she's making a big deal out of it having to be done now, 6 months in advance ffs!

Leaving my attempt at starting it til after lunch. Not what I need on a Friday pm, with baby brain and no will power and no inclination of coming back to this dump place of work!

Sorry for rant - continue as you were!

little snuggs is craving a McDonalds, must resist, I don't like them at the best of times!

OMG - homemade tomato and basil soup. Yum. So happy it's soup weather again (I know it's suny, but Autumn is in the air).

Does anyone else find it hard to just kick back, even when they really need to? It feels like I'm making excuses. Jeez - trust me to turn this into a big drama - just rest girl!

Have had an angel visit this morning. An old friend popped in to help me clean. She scrubbed the kitchen and now only have some washing to put away and a floor to mop. I can't bend down with out wanting to be sick so I just did what I could while she buzzed round the kitchen. Wow never knew I had a friend like that. Had a little cry as it has been the most selfless thing any one has done for me recently. Now have the lounge to tackle but feel more able than before.

Nanny - that's lovely. So nice to have people reaffirm your faith in humankind like that, isn't it?

Fish I'm really glad your folks seem to be a bit calmer - parents bring such a special type of stress. Mine didn't see my sis's boys for the entire summer holiday period and then got sulky with my sister when she rang them because unbeknown to either of us it was their 2 week summer break from work and if they had have been able to go away for a holiday she wouldn't have been able to ring them would she?!!
Poor Miamama just stay serene and let it wash past you! That's so lovely Nanny restores faith alright.
My beloved iron broke yesterday, won't steam or heat properly. I went to JL to look at steam generators last night and a chap was demonstrating a really powerful Polti one that you can use to iron with or change the attachments and clean floors, curtains, carpets etc. It was amazing and I got him to demonstrate cleaning a jacket that was hanging nearby. I thought it was one of his props and gave it a good feel (no wetness) and crumpled the sleeve for him to show me the miracle steam again. On the way home dh asked me why did I attack the salesman's suit jacket like that, the poor bloke? I was very as wouldn't have been so enthusiastic with it had I realised it matched his trousers and wasn't a prop. Awful. And I still don't have an iron. Should I buy a generator at £90 then pay for grubby carpets to be cleaned (approx £150) or blow the budget for the Polti gadget and steam the whole house. Or would it stay under the stairs as its bulky - I can't decide but need to quick. Do you ladies have a steam cleaner thingy?

Very at all the cleaning angels!! I can provide a comfy couch for the night if they are willing to travel north to spread their duster magic

Suspected cold is here

Saw physio today. She was very happy that my hip alignment has stayed. Was given a belt to wear and unless im struggling she is happy not to see me again. Just got to continue as I ave been doing and take each day as it comes.

Hope everything went well today moobee

Hiya all,

Can I have a go of your cleaning angel please?

Feeling as bit mithered-me and mum are getting on like a house on fire but i'm shattered now and I want to relax. Mum and I talk the hind legs off, but i'm actually needing a bit of quiet. DH just came in to talk to me and I asked him to leave me alone for bit so I can be alone with my head. Poor mum-a lot of her issues with my dad is how much he thrown himself at work lately and because she does'nt drive or have a job or any friends up here she is pretty lonely most of the time. My sis and I visit as often as we can but we have our own lives to lead plus were both getting tired with being pregnant and all.

I'm kind of hoping she may ask dad to come get her tomorrow-they are talking on the phone and were sending each other jokey texts at lunchtime-so I think things are ok between them now. i dunno i'm torn-whats a weekend/ 48 hours really, maybe i should be happy she's here and i'm supporting her and it's cheered her up but you know we have 15 weeks left til this baby comes, i have 2 weeks left to get all my course paperwork-I could seriously use this weekend. I need every weekend! Do I ask her to go home now? It would probably hurt her feelings, but if her and dad are getting on I see no reason for her to be here other than company.

fish Glad to hear things are looking good for you parents.
nanny What a lovely friend!

I basically have no friends (thanks to depression alienating them all, and I'm just not that likable I don't think), so this is seriously unlikely to happen to me. My MIL will always come and help me out which is so very sweet of her, but, well...the place is such a mess I just be too embarrased to ask!

I have tidying plans for tomorrow, but will have to see how this cold is. So friggin snotty it's not funny.

cakes I seem incapable of properly relaxing at the moment. House is in chaos and I'm sooo flippin tired I just want to be asleep all the time. Know how you feel though. Feel like I'm just being 'overly dramatic' about how tired I am. Ah well. Hopefully I'll get the downstairs straight tomorrow and can then tackle 'nursery' on Monday.

Very excited today, I have a list of jobs to do around the house and a dh who is actually home to do some of them! were sorting dd's room, fixing the garage door and taking all junk to the dump as well as other little fixing jobs.

Now if only I could get him to turn off bob the builder and go and have a shower we might actually get some of the jobs finished!

Oeisha I know what you mean about the no friends due to depression and being unlikeable add to that moving 2 hours away from my home town to be with dh which upset alot of friends and I don't have any either. But baby groups etc are a great way of meeting people.

fish if you are getting on ok with your mum would she take kindly to a little gentle prodding to get her out the house? If you really need the time and space to yourself this weekend and they're getting on ok, you should just ask. Go on girl!

I am off to Jersey today to do a gig in a film festival, should be really fun. Wish I hadn't woken up quite so early this morning as there's a big fancy dress party tonight (!!) - not that I've got a costume, or can drink much, but still. Should be interesting... might take my camera and pap all the crazy film freaks in their mermaid and 'dead celebrity' outfits.

Can someone come and clean my house while I'm away please? My OH insists on doing a tiny bit of wallpaper removal at a time and then leaves all the bits all over the floor.... the house looks like a total rubbish dump!! I've got nice friends, but none of them are THAT nice that they'd come over and tidy up!!!! well, not unless I was really desperate....

Anyway so have a nice weekend ladies, hope all colds are banished and all front rooms become miraculously finished/tidied, and you all win a couple of quid on the lottery I'm not back til Monday evening so I won't be able to catch up for a while - I expect 4 new threads by the time I get back

x

Hi all, thanks for the good wishes and thoughts. I'm not sure how the interview went - there were some questions I really struggled with and others I answered at the wrong level. I was meant to answer on a more strategic level rather than a 'doing' level. I was able to give a lot of detail about actually doing the job well though. Today I just feel exhausted and quite down. I had really long days in Geneva last week (and the w

(oops pressed send too soon).

Tuesday, had a work day that started at 6am UK time and I got home at 9.30. I had a ton of work for a meeting I'm running this Tuesday coming and I could have done without the interview, I felt like I had no time to prepare. I woke up this morning and 5am and just ended up crying downstairs.

Anyway sorry for venting, I'm looking forward to a relaxing weekend at least. Hope you're all well and have good weekends!

Oeisha- I feel like you my house is never that clean and tidy due to the other 5 people that think they shouldn't have to do any thing. Is it my fault? I am not sure I try to get on to the kids to help with some of the jobs like loading the dishwasher. My house doesn't stay tidy for long and I find my energy levels aren't good. I try to do the essentials and hope this term with it being only me at home that I can do a little and often my friend who helped the other day doesn't judge me but like you I am very embarrassed about the house. There is not a single room that is how I would like it. Over time I have battled the mess bit like my weight really and had to accept that it will never be what I want. I told our kids that no friends would be coming over unless the house was significantly tidier so visitors aren't frequent. Other people have offered I find it really difficult to accept help to. Please reach out to others people are really sympathetic to us in our situation ( pregnant). I only feel sad that my dh and kids don't see that I can't manage. Dh is lovely but is a workaholic so doesn't want to tidy at the weekends or keep up stuff that is tidy. There for I have to be laid back and do what I can do which isn't that much.

When I had my other kids at home I did reach out to the local college so would encourage any one to check out what free help is available. I intend to join a mother and baby group to as I know I will feel quite isolated. Hope you feel better and the cold passes by quickly Oeisha you sound so down so sending you a cyber hug.

Moobee- you sound like my poor dh is there any way to shed some of the work load. Just wanted to send hugs I can only imagine how hard it is for you holding down a busy job and being pregnant. Have you other kids. Forgot to add the house work is just another thing for you. Please reach out to others before things get worse. Sending every one a hug who needs it.

Hi Ladies - think I'm just about caught up but I may have missed a couple of pages! Big hugs to whoever needs one for whatever reason ladies I'm really appreciating these threads that we have to talk to and support each other. Feel like we're really starting to get to know each other!

Just wondering where we all are geographically....I'm in up in Leeds.

me and Fryn are in NE London..

Thanks Nanny - I was ok with the work, the interview pushed me over the edge! I don't have any other children so I don't need to look after anyone else at least.

Oeisha, you seem very likeable and fun on here! hopefully things like having children will bring new people into your life. I don't have that many local friends and none have children. I've hardly seen them since announcing my pregnancy.

Deesus, I'm in oxfordshire. Leeds is a lovely area.

nanny and Oiesha-you girls sound so down about the state fo your houses-no one ever puts on thier grave stone they wished they spent more time doing house work. Don't put too much pressure on yourselves-if youre intending to BF you'll find that it just gets messier and messier :) On a more serious note-you do have to accept that things aren't always perfect and compromise to a certain extent-it's all so overwhelming if you look at it as a whole house-i have recently been reduced to loonking at it one drawer at a time-there isn't a cupboard or drawer in this house which isn't cluttered with shit, and that gets e down, nothing stays the way i put it.

in other news
Would it be crass of me to start singing ding dong the wicked witch....?

Mum has just left with DH taking her home-her cheeriness of yesterday has gone out of the window and she has turned back into a snipy moody one. It was her decision to go home in the end, she was stressing about all this stuff she has to sort out with my dad and get ready for the move (the whole row was kicked off because my dad spent the money they had as a deposit for thier new rental flat-they have been evicted fro thier old place due a neighbourly dispute-like i said he's an idiot, he hid that from her and was going to get a loan to cover it, to be fair he spent it on living-petrol and stuff rather than anything else) and I simply said "Dh would be happy to take you back tmrw if you wanted" and left it with her. By the time she awoke this morning she was back in a foul mood and ready to go home. dad is working til 6 tonight so i guess they will talk this evening. She wasn't acting like a woman who's marriage was over yesterday. Trouble is her mental health is all over the place, she refuses to seek help for it. I have tried to talk to her but she wont have it.

Anyway, I just want to say how much i appreciate having you guys here to listen over the last few days. All the kind words have meant so much. i'll be back on form soon xx

Quick one! Had private gender Scan and we are definitely team pink am in tesco car park so off again now speak to you all soon xx

Fun news Supa! :) How was the private scan - I was wondering whether to book one at about week 30 or so to check everything is OK. I'm not sure though, maybe I should just trust it's all fine...

Great pink news supa!
House mess - I think at any one time there has only every been 1 immaculate room in this house. That's usually cos all the crap is put in the other rooms behind closed doors.

Fish - your parents issues no longer being on your door step will make things a lot easier for you I'm sure. X

Apparently I kicked dp out of bed last night. Poor guy slept on the couch. iv been feeling soo lousy recently that all I want to do is sleep. Had about 11 broken hours last night and about 2hours this afternoon.

Friends - as a parent making new friends please make sure that you tell people your name, its too easy to fall into the dd's mum trap.
Most of my friends moved away when I was pregnant with dd. Not cos I was pregnant lol, there are only so many jobs in the sticks and if you want a promotion you need to move away. The friends that did stay live in their own little bubbles and only rear their heads when the bubble bursts.

Hope your all well x

Yippee SUPA-girls are ace. I'm glad i'm having going to be parent to one of each but freaked myself out last night thinking of different nappy changes, bits fiddling boys, inappropriate erections and weeing in your face and then later, shaving, boy hormones and wet dreams. I told DH he was in charge as far as that was concerned. EEK. I dont know what to do with a boy flavour one! Unfamiliar territory!

deesus i'm in Worcester i'd love to meet up sometime with local fellow January Mums. I feel like were all becoming better aquainted, and you are all lovely.

I have cleaned like a demon today, just me some very loud happy harcore music and my hoover, steam mop, polish, duster, and some bin bags, the house looks lovely now. The few jobs mum did while she was here have really given me a boost-it was just so overwhelming. She's a damn good "sorter" my mum, she's done my linen cupboard and dd's room-two of the worst areas in my house.

I also got on top of a huge pile of paperwork, DH took mum home then took DD off for a big massive trek up the malverns and gave me 3 hours to myself. I feel like a new woman and I have really made the most of my time today-amazing how much actually getting your teeth into a job and quitting the procrastination makes you feel better!

I am treating us all to fish and chip supper with my ebay profits and i am going to RELAX!

My friend had her baby today :o she was told it was a boy, imagine her suprise when there were no boy bits but girly bits instead!!! I'm so excited for her and am even more excited to give her new dd an invite to my dd's party.

addicted oh my really-I do hope that doesn't happen to us as I have just been ebaying all of dd old girls clothes that i have kept just in case. I'm having 3 more scans anyway so i'm pretty sure we'll know.

Hi everybody, just settling in for X factor......
Hope everyone is ok. I am feeling really huge and heavy. But cheered up as I got a maternity coat in mothercare for £25! and it's not even that obvious it's maternity so reckon I can get away with it till it stops being cold after baby is here.

Went to a home birth class this week. Seriously considering it now, after having a v bad time in hospital with DS. The thought of doing it at home sounds really nice, but need to talk it through with DH some more.