January 2012: Thread 2

[supadupapupascupa]

As you were

Hello ladies of the list!i've been following this week's discussions with interest from a rather sunny Cornwall, but the signal down here has been so dreadful that I haven't attempted to post.

Gaviscon is still very much my friend and I'm looking properly pg now - at least I hope so, as my belly is huge!

Good to see all's well with the bumps various

Re. the fabled second trimester: not sure about bounce, but nausea etc seems to have disappeared from one day to the next, to be replaced by ravenous hunger. We had really crappy takeaway pizza laid on for lunch at work yesterday (don't ask) and I ended up scoffing four pieces. Then this morning I woke up literally faint with hunger and made myself a giant cooked breakfast (normally I'm really not a morning eater, even when not pregnant) Googled 'calorie needs second trimester' and apparently you need an extra 300 p/d? Breakfast I've just had was def. more than 300 cal, but maybe I'm making up for lost time :)

Anyway, I hope everyone else starts feeling better soon. I have to emphasise that I still feel tired, emotional etc, just - thankfully - no longer sick.

I finally got my screening results through today! :D Low risk! :D

Also a long awaited bra's arrived too! Liked Mr. Postman today.

Feeling a little more 'bouncy' today, but then yesterday was soooo shit on so many fronts, short of waking up to find the house flooded/my cats had left me/the world on fire I'm not sure I could have felt worse (I exaggerate a little, but did wonder whether I should be thinking about looking into antenatal depression choices as another few days like that I'd be searching for a padded cell).

Just need to not vomit copiously for the rest of the day now!

I thought I was getting over the jet lag style tiredness I'd been feeling until yesterday. I was tired after about 1/2 hour of getting up! Got sent home an hour early by my boss for looking exhausted and fell asleep about 7.30. Woke up wide awake from about 2-3.30 am when I fell back to sleep and finally got up about 6. Knackered again now :(

Congrats on the scan results Oeisha :)

Capybara with you on the ravenous hunger but then I eat too much and feel nauseous for a couple of hours until I'm starved again. It's a wierd hollow ache - never felt hunger like that before. I think I may need to find a better balance... ;)

Glad to hear about people who are feeling better, it gives me hope!! Oeshia, sorry to hear about your rubbish day but congratulations on the good scan results. I have my bloods on Wednesday (16 weeks) for Downs as apparently Wales has yet to catch up with the rest of the UK and still only offers the triple test (actually now it's the quadruple test so we have moved forward a little!). I can accept that 5 years ago with dd1 there was no nuchal scan in Wales, and then we were living in England when I was expecting DD2 so had the nuchal, but come on Wales, I think it's time we introduced it!! I also have the ravenous hunger, followed by sickness and indigestion...fun isn't it! Ah well, I'm sure it'll be replaced by something else soon enough !

Anyone else's sonographer get all weird about the screening? When taking the nuchal measurements, I mentioned I was having the bloods done and she started to talk about how much she disagreed with it...she was questioning the efficacy of the results...and that mums already at 'low risk' really didn't need the tests...and that putting a figure to the risk for some makes the risk more 'real'...but hey-ho! I just wanted all the information possible without being invasive. Informed if forwarned...

Re: hunger. Not really getting that yet. Never really lost my appetite to the point that I've not tried to eat, but also not been so hungry I'm eating any more than before. Beginning to feel a bit 'special' now... :S

oh, and thank you for your 'congrats'.. :o

when i refused the test at my scan my sonogramer had a right attitude with me and didnt give us much time to actually see the baby on the scan. hope we dnt get her at the 20 week scan

oeisha that's great about being low risk, and new bras are always good! Our sonographer just measured the nuchal bit at least 10 times which had me freaking out, but it seemed to be normal practice were I went as everyone was taken for the blood test straight after the scan. I was the same in that I would like to feel as if I was mentally prepared rather than possibly grieve the baby you thought you would have, which I've heard can be a common reaction.

I have no appetite, no energy, and still puking. But at least we had some sun today! And I managed to get out to the the park with DD and DH, although I needed a good nap after getting back.

falabalamb - can't believe that Wales can do this so differently when I thought this test had been around for some time now! Oh well, better late than never I guess! Fingers crossed for you.

Right off to bed now, it's way past my bed time.

mummyzoe that's so rude, I can't believe she could be like that. It's your choice and your baby. I really hope you have a much nicer sonographer at your 20 week scan.

Good night everyone. :)

Hi every one back from sunny cornwall. ghosteditor where are you? We were near St Columb Major which wasn't far from padstow. Managed to get sun burnt feet and lower arms as I forgot to put sun tan lotion on my self after doing everyone else. Loved the icecream, had a couple of meals out other than that cooked at the campsite with friends. Have to say camping was not a break for dh and I we are shattered after the 6 hour trip home and I ended sitting in the back with ds 2 who was hitting and kicking his brother and sisters. By the way it is not that great in the back seat.

Now just looking forward to dd1's birthday at the end of next week and the then after that the 20 week scan as they have decided that my due date should be 1st Jan but I am thinking it should be the 8th. Have no food in the house so we are all starving and dh has gone to get the cat from the cattery and food for us all. Really not looking forward to yompping all the stuff to the shed and into the loft this afternoon. I never get any dispensation for being pregnant. Are your dh's different or am I the only one who it continue as usual.

On another note my parents got the cd of the scan mum phoned me up straight away and told me "I don't approve" and "aren't you to old, it's very risky at your age your getting on now". Just shows you that more women in their late 30's and early 40's are haveing babies now. Haven't heard from dh's mother which must mean she has sent us to coventry.

It's too hot today, I burn easily, hate the greasy feel of factor 50 and am surviving by lurking indoors. I'm now screwing up the energy needed to take dd to our local shopping centre where they have a pretend beach, buckets and spades and a Costa for me.

Families are odd I've decided over the years Nanny01. I asked my sis if she could have dd when I go into labour and she said yes, depending on if she's at work or not busy! Seeing as I've dropped everything several times to bail her out of childcare emergencies I'm seriously not happy but what to do as I don't want to pick a fight with her. Whilst I've been signed off work I've had flowers, cards and texts from colleagues wishing me well which is unusual and really lovely and regular texts from my mil but only one call from my sis and no contact from my busy parents at all! Dh says I'm too soft and maybe he's right, I'm certainly feeling grumpy with my lot but know they won't have noticed!

knittiekitty- I know how you feel I have no siblings but my parents have never said congratulations to me ever for any of my pregnancies. At this rate we won't be having only us for christmas. My father seems to care more about cars than people. I really do think that they think we are still children and they can tell us what to do.

Nanny01 families are all mental...I often get treated like a child and it pisses me off a lot. Having to be more firm with my parents as it's getting to the point where I want to just tell them to "F**K off and leave my house"...but I don't and just get very upset about it. Not good. Also, my parents keep talking about 'coming and staying' when DC is born...not going to happen. They can visit us, yes, and if they must, stay in a B&B, but I do not want them there when we come 'home'. Even worse, they have mentioned moving to the area..which won't happen, but it's all still a bit :S. I know they love me dearly, and I love them, but they're just so flamin critical of me it's not funny (been checked on again about my weight during pg - "you'll have problems if you get too fat"...thanks!)

I have such happy memories of Padstow. Used to holiday in Porthilly Lane caravan park as a child.

I'm visiting my parents tomorrow in Newcastle - 5 days. Whereas I'm grateful and WANT all the support and advice from my parents (who know to treat me with delicacy at the moment!) I am dreading seeing their friend.

I've always been able to tolerate my parent's friends (her and husband - who once worked with my dad) in short bursts but recently - not sure whether it's hormonal or just a coincidence - I can't stand being near her. She's a loud, brash woman who will stop at nothing to tell you her opinion (even if you don't ask for it) and is extremely 'touchy-feely' (she kisses everyone all of the time and sends 'lovey-dovey texts messages to people) and smiles at people and stares a lot making me (and others) feel uncomfortable. I'm not that kind of a person but I have 'put up with it'.

Recent things she's done (some of it our fault because of us being on a 'guilt trip' and not wanting to hurt feelings).

1. Invited herself to my wedding dress shopping and other wedding preparation stuff. (She got huffed when we said 'no' to the dinner trial at the hotel).
2. Wore a hat to my wedding even though I told her not to (this confused guests who hadn't met my parents - they live far away - as they thought she was my mother!) Made my parents bloody cross. Everyone asks why she's trying to look like mother-of-the-bride when they see photos.
3. Insisted on having a copy of my 12-week scan (we did say 'no'!) despite only parents getting copies and not even best friends or aunts and uncles.
4. Inviting herself on my parents holidays.
5. Inviting herself to our house in March to see baby because she holidays booked (she never pays for her own holidays. She even gets an aunt to pay for her cruise holidays despite hating her!). She's never been to our house before for a 'visit' and she's been told we'll have the builders in doing our extension.
6. Text my mother and told her that she will be spending the day with her (and me) no matter what on Thursday!?!
7. Insists on visiting my mum every Saturday and staying late (til midnight) despite mum being at work the next morning. She's even started to expect my mum to pivk her up on Saturday evenings after she's finished work, saying her husband will pick her up (who never does) hoping to stay the night, which my mum dreads, so it's up to my mum to drive her home again! My mum has now asked for OT on Saturday evenings to avoid said 'friend' - hence the reason for number 6!!!

She does have her good points. She'll drop anything at a moments notice if you need help and support but at the moment her negative points are really outweighing the good. Mum has her opinions - she says she's lazy (she won't cook or do any housework - makes husband do it), she's been on sick several times and only goes back because according to her 'her sickness pay runs out' (she works for the benefits agency!?!). She never pays her own way on holidays - she asks her aunt to pay her way on cruises that she accompanies her disabled aunt on (despite admitting that she can't stand the woman), books her holidays to coincide with my parents, turns up at their caravan leaving my parents to foot the bill for their stay.

Mum says she's keep referring me as a 'mammy' which I don't want. I have never used the word myself and want to be referred as 'mum' or 'mummy'. I know she'll end up criticising me when I tell her and that winds me up. I just know she's going to pat my tummy, despite her being told beforehand not to by my mother and ask me endless questions about the pregnancy which i don't want because it doesn't matter what i say, she'll criticise it, tell me not to do it, or it's wrong etc, etc. My parents are getting fed up and my mum was in a panic when she phoned me yesterday to tell me that she was coming on Thursday. I think this week may be the week when my mum tells her to sling her hook. Even she feels like she's invading our personal space too much.

I'm quite hormonal today but feel very protective over my pregnancy, my right to privacy and my right to say who can and cannot be part of things. She has two children of her own (daughter a lesbian who she thinks will never marry or have kids. Admittedly she doesn't have a close relationship with her as my mum does with me. Son is 29, lives at home, smashed the place up several times when he can't get his own way and has smashed up cars and been caught for drink driving several times - as has his sister - yet she won't so anything about it). I know it looks like she's living her dreams through us but it's pissing us off now!

oh what to do!!!! (Sorry about the rambling!)

Well she sounds like a bundle of laughs Mum2be79. Don't forget that in your present condition you are allowed to say whatever you like to people and then blame it on hormones :)

I got my quadruple test results yesterday and they indicated 'low risk' so that's nice to know. I refused the bloods at the scan but opted to have the quad test done by the midwife. I tole my midwife how rude the sonographer was when I said I didn't want the nuchal scan and screening bloods and the midwife noted the sonographer's name and phoned and complained on my behalf. Really hope I now don't get the same woman for my 20 week scan in a couple of weeks.

Is anyone else getting pulling/ripping pains in their side and lowed abdomen? It's really quite painful and seems to start after hoovering etc.

I agree she sounds great fun mum2be79! I think there has to come a point when somebody is clearly told they are really over stepping the line, and have been for some time. Good luck to your mum, but it will mean she should get some rest on weekends finally. And maybe even holidays without uninvited unpaying guests, what a nightmare.

Families are great when they're helpful, but also have the ability to make you feel really miserable. Luckily for me (I think) it's my in-laws that are difficult rather than my own family. I think that's partly because I can be very blunt with my own family, but it's not white as easy with in-laws. Unfortunately my in-laws live much closer than my family, so they really drive me up the wall. With DD it was just non-stop criticism of my parenting skills, and daily visits during the newborn weeks where they expected to be fed and taken care of, leaving DD and us both very irritable. I'm hoping I'll be able to be firmer next time as I know I was an emotional mess last time round.

BunMyOven couldn't agree more you need to develop a thick skin with pregnancy and motherhood, it's essential. I'm really not looking forward to random strangers coming and touching my bump when it becomes obvious, it's just something I could never understand!

ChocaMum I have a tshirt on today that says "hands off the bump"!!

GiraffeAHolic Yes I'm getting pains like that - a ripping sort of pain. Mine happens when I turn over in bed mainly or getting up awkwardly. Mostly in the evening. I've assumed its bits stretching.

Giraffe I have a few ligament pains that make me want to fold over. I avoid them by not hoovering...tehehehe...!

Mum2be Yup, awkard isn't it. I know with me it's 'cos the Parent-Adult-Child triangle is very mixed up, I'm usually the 'adult' and my Mum flips between 'Parent' and 'Child' according to whether she's getting her way or not...sounds not to dissimilar with your Mum's friend and your Mum, and you're just dragged into it through vicarious living. My only advice is just be blunt about it. Advice I will be attempting to follow next time my parents are here...

As for people touching my bump...not sure. Think it will depend on the person, can't say I'd be all that pleased if my mum's friends wanted to cop a feel, but my own friends, probably let hem have a feel of a kick. Just reminds me of that episode of e.r. when Susan ends up being bump-hugged by a 'freak' after her boyfriend punches him for propositioning her for a hug in the first place...

Not sure whether you mean she's a bundle of laughs 'ha, ha' (nightmare!) or you really think she IS a bundle of laughs??? Difficult to read tones of posts hence the need for caution.

I think for most people who come across her for the first few times (or in very short bursts) think that she is a laugh (good fun etc, etc), but after a while you begin to see through the charade and realise (me, on analysing my own post) that actually she's a very insecure person (needs company of others constantly and needs to be accepted and feel included). I spoke to my friend earlier who met her for the first time at my wedding and again 7 weeks ago who, when I raised the subject of 'what do you think of ...?' said she's taken a dislike to her. Apparently she was moaning and groaning about me and my mum talking about the pregnancy, saying it was dull and boring behind my back, yet in front of THEM only minutes later, was talking about how she was so excited about the pregnancy and looking forward to baby A coming?! WTF??

Spoke to my mum afterwards who said my dad had mentioned similar things. 'friend' feels she can say more to my dad because she knows my dad will bubble up inside rather than tell, unlike this time. My mum said she's gone too far and if she steps out of line on Thursday, she's going to tell her exactly how she feels so I'm expecting fireworks.

I for one know that due to my up and down hormones I have been given a new lease of bravery and I will not hesitate telling someone to back off or that they've over stepped the mark.

giraffeAholic congrats on the low risk. It's pleasing when someone's rudeness is dealt with but also quite nerve-wracking when you realise you may have to face them - eek!

And YES I have been having terrible pulling, rippling pains in my lower tummy and side. So glad I'm not the only one!

Oeisha samee here. Don't mind my friends but nobody else (apart from parents and DH!)

Giraffe totally missed that, congrats on the low risk! :D

giraffe sorry I missed that too, that's great news!
Love the idea of a t-shirt, must look out for one!
And weird pains very low done for a week, hasn't started in my sides yet, but I'm not doing any housework so maybe I'm getting of lightly, DH is feeling sorry for me puking non-stop and any bending seems to trigger more vomiting anyway.

I don't mind people I know and like touching bump :) It's the complete strangers that just come up to you with their hands coming towards you, it's really strange! I just can't imagine doing that to somebody I don't know well.

mum2be it was meant in a sarcastic way, I guess it's not very obvious over posts! Good luck for the fireworks though!

This happened earlier today but I can't sleep for thinking about it. Hopefully by "telling someone" about it I'll feel better. I told my Mum today about phonecall from consultant to come in for appointment tomorrow (she has been working so hadn't had a chance). She turns round in front of DSs aged 5 + 4 and says "it would have been much less stressful for me If you'd had a termination Belini" WTF!!!!! even if thats how she feels DSs are VVV excited about "their babies" (i think it is so cute when they say this) and she should not be talking like this in front of them. DSs also tried to show her scan photos and she said very firmly "later" and walked away. i feel very and

Oh Belini that's awful. It's not about her it's about you. Is she normally the sort of person who says completely the wrong thing when stressed out?

Crossing fingers for you today.