feb 2011 - waving those pom poms

[slowangels1]

just to start a new (and possibly last) ante natal thread - come on knitta

Yay knitta and supa on your fab news, how lovely. I will have a dairy milk in your honor, and maybe a glass of wine seeing as there are two babies to celebrate!

Well done knitta,am itching to know if my speculation was correct re your long absence
Congrats super too.
Didnt pick up D until 3 and my sister did say she had been good at night but hard work in the day so i know im not mad.Got back and she was cranky straight away,had a bottle then seemed to have tummy ache,i was trying everything and then gave her some medicine but then she seemed hungry.I went out into the kitchen and made a one handed bottle,i then poured boiling water into a jug and then spilt it on my hand at the same time i spilt her medicine all over the side.Cue a big crying fit from me and tearfull phone call to dh,poor dd was running around trying to help as D continued to cry.Is this normal?I am worried about pnd but i seem ok most of the time,i also dont feel too well i think i have a sinus infection.Its just that she never seems settled,wont sit in her chair,swing or even on your lap without winging and squirming and she hardly ever sleeps,it was 7 when i "lost it" id not eaten since breakfast had nor dinner prepared and had barely spoken to Ella,i know everyone says to leave it but you still need to feed your child,do homework,packed lunch,uniform etc.if dh isnt here on a weekday how will i do it and also drama,gym and dancing too and dh lates are increasing.Sorry to rant but i dont know who else to speak too,poor dh is worried i can tell and i feel sorry for him as its his first and only child.

"Need to" spanx off the internet,i did feel very firm.Going to start exercising next week(if i get time)and a half hearted diet.

yay knitta
Well it looks like we've all popped.
My ds has finally started calling his little sis by her name instead of baby (only taken 3wks) and f has got a cold and colic so is pretty grumpy. So our house feels rather like a war zone and i'm being pulled from pillar to post. Not feeling too bad yet hopefully i've dodged the pnd bullet this time but i've got the docs on speed dial just in case. Had my first drink post baby the other night just a bottle of magners but it was oh so good. I have planned a girls night for the end of april which i am really looking forward too. Its really sunk in that i'm a mom to 2 sometimes its so overwhelming the responsibility and lack of personal time is so strainin but hopefully i'll get used to it.

xposted ledkr
Try talking to your dr ledkr in regards to feeling low, you might not need meds but the reassurance may be what you need. Please don't beat yourself up. I know how you feel, i do 5 playgoups for ds a week 1 for f and then housework dinner etc for dm as i'm her part time carer and my housework and dinner. I occasionly have a small break down. Is there anyone who can come to you during the day?? Even if its just to hold d while you do bottles? And for you to talk to?

Ledkr Passing you a glass of It's really difficult "doing everything" I agree you can't ignore other dcs, getting ready for school, playgroup, its ok to skip dinners, have crap dinners yourself but other dcs need fed, bathed, homework is a nightmare in our house, dd1 is in P2 (5) so lots of crafty type of homework etc, feel like sending note into teacher saying "do you bloody well think I have time to make a feckin' robot out of cereal boxes " DD2 still needs me to wipe her bum sometimes and because my patience is a little (!) stretched, both dds have sensed weakness and are being particularly annoying challenging!! I don't have any answers but in the words of Michael Jackson "you are not alone"

Yes i think i may draft in the calvary,also told dh he needs to pay a bit of help when he starts the extra lates,its just not fair on dd1 to have no tea or attention.I recover quickly from my meltdowns but hate having them at all.I feel stupid as is my 5th baby and i am usually the one offering advice to others.The newborn stage is just pants if you have a winger i think.

thanks wiggles i think you understand the most,i get fed up being on my own at weekends and evenings to be honest,feel like a single parent which i was for long enough as it is.Tbh i am thinking i may have to leave her to cry sometimes as she does anyway even when i carry her about so whats the point.i know things will improve in time im just impatient and verty disappointed that im not enjoying her

whingers ahhh. Ds has turned into one. F is just permanantly awake am writing one handed on my phone as she won't be put down. Defo get dh to do more. Ohh must be careful f has just fallen asleep silent and still victory cheer

Ledkr I know exactly how you feel, Mr Wiggles has worked the past two weekends and isn't off for another two, he is also doing overtime so going in an extra shift a week on a rest day. I also don't think he realises how easy he has it, at the minute he's on nights 9pm-7am, he goes to work at 8pm, arrives home at 8am, goes to bed, sleeps until 4pm uninterupted , what's that like? Been 3 years since I've done that And then he wonders why I'm a tad unsympathetic when he complains about having a hard day!!

well dh has been really good (i think he thinks im a nut job)but when he was on nights before he used to come in at 8am and go to bed thensleep or stsy in bed until about 7pm,i only had my Els then so couldnt say alot but i told him that wont be happening now.I worked nights for yrs and used to sleep for 5 hrs when dcs were at school.He has a meeting with the inspector to discuss the new shifts hoping for some sympathy due to D's special needs-medication and its only us who can feed her due to the cleft-it makes me cross cos loads of the wpcs work cushy shifts due to "childcare" and their kids are school age,i have agood job too and would like to go back but wont be able to if hes out 4 evenings a week, at least with nights he would be here to help with bedtimes etc.

Sorry you've been feeling a but overwhelmed Ledkr, I think we all are feeling this at sone point. Am really struggling with anxiety from around 5.30 every morning, dh gave me a massive hug in bed this morning as I was shaking and crying. Weird tho now I feel ok again.
It is hard work with s newborn, and doesn't last forever. In a few years I'm sure we'llbe moaning about our little ones having tantrums etc!
It's just a phase is what I keep telling myself when Noah is wide awake at 5 every morning!

thanks bm,i am finding it hard to sleep even when d does,last night she was good and slept from 8-4 but then went back down at 5 and figeted and snuffled until 8!wtf? i went to spare room at 7 but it made me ache so came back up,managed an hour when dh took her down,i may move her into her room,iknow they say 6 months but i wont last that long and all my others were in thiers from a few weeks,is a icious circle cos she will be hard all day now dh is at work and im knackered.

ledkr sorry you're having a tough time of it. Dd is my first so whilst I have no words of advice I do have a lot of respect for you (and anyone else) looking after a newborn and other children too. I honestly don't know how I'd do it - its hard enough with dd at the moment!

And why does 5am seem to be snuffling time for babies?! dd is so loud when she starts snuffling and grunting - I'm also thinking theres no way I'll keep her in with us until she's 6 months, not a chance.

bensmum sorry youre feeling anxious every morning, its such a horrible feeling isn't it. Glad you're getting hugs from your dh, I found it really helped when I was feeling physically sick from feeling anxious in the early days - probably because its so reassuring.

I had 2 glasses of fizzy wine last night then had a headache (I'm officialy now a lightweight) and dd was up every 2-3 hours in the night. That'll teach me!

We are also considering moving Noah into his room. Only problem is that we live in a town house so he would be on the top floor with Ben, disturbing his sleep, and were on the second floor. I have been tempted to shut him in the en suite but felt a bit mean. Dh has done the feeds for the last two nights but I still haven't had much sleep!
Oh how I took sleep for granted, now I can't imagine when I will have a good nights sleep again!

just uploaded two pics. can't type yet so story still to be written...

Hi everyone! Hope you're all having a nice Sunday.

Ledkr I'm so sorry things are feeling tough at the moment I'm sure it'll get better soon though. I know how it feels to have a DH who works all the time too. DH went back to work the day after I gave birth (it's his own business and he wasn't able to take any leave). I was discharged from hospital after 6 hours and with hindsight I wished that I'd asked to stay in so that I could get some rest. It's been non stop for these past few weeks and it's been quite tough. I can imagine it being really hard when your DH is on nights, when he's out all night and sleeping all day - you have my sympathies!

Bensmum I hope the anxious periods stop soon. Your DH sounds like he's being supportive .

Ponyo is your DD a noisy sleeper too? I can't believe how noisy DD2 is! She grunts and wriggles and snores! DH keeps complaining about how noisy she is. It's not too bad for me at the moment as I wear two hearing aids (I usually take them out for bed but can't ATM coz I need to be able to hear her) but one has broken so I'm coping with one, which means that I can hear her wake up for a feed but her grunting and snoring doesn't keep me awake

I don't think it's working Knitta. Are they on your profile?

knitta I can't see the pics either - can't click on your name to see them?

bensmum I know exactly what you mean about sleep - its hard to imagine the luxury of sleeping all night or having a lie in now, although 5 weeks ago I did that all the time!

wandering dd isn't too bad when she sleeps, its when she's sort of waking and then properly awake that the grunts and snuffles start! And yes, very wiggly too, although maybe thats her trying to fight her way out of her swaddling blanket . When you get your hearing aid fixed are you still going to sleep with just one in?! I would if I were you! :)

the sleep/night time thing DH and I do is DH sleeps in the spare room with the moses basket and I sleep in our room - I look after alice until she is asleep after 10pm sleep and then sneek her in to DHs room quietly. He takes over for the night time feed and then I set my alarm for 6 and sneak in and collect her for next feed. If she's awake before then DH brings her in to me to sort out. DH can sleep through her noises whereas I just panic she'll start screaming all the time and can't sleep. Assuming Alice cooperates (she doesn't always) we both get some sleep and when she crys she doesn't wake both of us up. Works for us . Am shattered today though as I usually grab half an hour or so nap in the afternoon and the phone decided to ring to disturb me. Am so hopeful for sleeping well tonight.

ledkr how are you now? I hope D settles more soon and I'm sure E understands. My sister is nearly 10 yrs younger than me and she was the nightmare baby just liek you describe and my mum had similar issues to you with sister taking up all the time screaming. Mum now blames it on the fact my sister is very brainy (is currently studying at cambridge) so she was frustrated with not being able to communicate/do what she wanted - so clearly D is also a v bright child . If it helps I have no memory of feeling hard done by that my mum couldn't spend time with me/listen to me when my sister was little.

bensmum I hope you feel less anxious soon. I'm a bit of an anxious nightmare so understand how horrible it is.

knitta have you made your profile public?

thanks all.i feel a bit better managed to get out with the girls with no help from dh,i was scruffy and hadnt eaten but i got out weather was fab too.
wandering I feel resentfull cos dh shifts have changed and he will be working 4 lates in a row,finishing at midnight!! That is 4 nights i will have to do it all-pick ups tea activities packed lunches homework uniform bedtime bad enough at the moment but imagine that after a full day at work myself and i do contribute half our income,have a pension and am on top increment so dont want to be leaving either,There's loads of women coppers with cushy school hrs who work with dh too and their kids are at school not babies.
When i met him i was independent only had Ella ,had nice holidays,nice car good social life etc,now i feel like im heading towards domestic drugery iyswim.Sorry to go on but can you see my point or is it me? I feel a bit stitched up to be honest.
oh well the only way is essex is on now thats will cheer me up

Ponyo, I might do, ha ha! Well, the reason it broke was because I lay down and the pipe connecting it to my ear snapped as my ear pressed against the pillow, so it's probably a good idea to leave one out on the side I lie on. I desperately need to go to the repair clinic at the hospital to get it sorted but I just haven't had time. I'm sick of having to watch TV with the subtitles on .

Ledkr, God, yes totally see your point! It seems unfair that they are flexible for Police Women when they aren't for your DH - men have children too and partners who work, just as those women do! When are you supposed to go back to work? Hopefully things with D will have settled down by then (I'm sure they will) which might make things a little easier? As Angels said, I'm sure E will be fine - she sounds like such a lovely, helpful girl . I'm so sorry that I haven't got anything more helpful to add

Crap, I forgot about The Only Way Is Essex! I love that program, it's so bad it's good! ah well, I'll have to watch it on Virgin On Demand tomorrow.

Hi ladies,

Not been on here for ages as not felt able to post anything, but just popping on to see how everyone is getting on. I think about you ladies and your babies lots, but haven't felt able to post as have been very much hanging by a thread mentally/emotionally and I tend to 'batten down the hatches' and go bit incommunicado when that happens.

Claudia is actually doing really well, it's me that is having problems. Been to GP who just said 'sounds like PND' and wrote a prescription, which wasn't quite what I had expected or hoped for.

So really just saying I haven't forgotten you ladies, I think about you lots and hopefully will be back on the post-natal club thread when it is established and I'm feeling a bit better.

Dx

PS why are there no posts in the PND section? Is there somewhere else people post?

Hi girls

Looks like Imam in good company then as at wits end with whingy baby that won't sleep in crib or cot, only on soneones chest! I thought I was onto a good thing with the routine yesterday but he seemed to want to feed every two hours in the night and would not settle in cot - another grunter! It's the first time I have lost my patience with him, and me and the kids are all still in our pj's. Day two of no shower, i must pong! Feel so guilty that I am not doing more with ds1&2

Ho hum, sorry for whingy post, sorry you are all having it rough too

hi Delia sorry you are a bit down and dint get too much support.
I think its normal to feel a bit down tbh,i trained as a psychiatric nurse origionally and do feel that they dish out the pils a bit readily.we have all been thru a lot and are still recovering at the same time we cant rest-when else would that ever happen in life eh?
I find it so up and down its scary.Today i feel really positive and am coping well but yesterday was the end of the world.
wanderin thanks for the sympathy,what makes it worse is that the one woman who has cushy hrs doesnt even pick her kids up,she goes for a run instead!!Dh is going to do his best to get it changed and if not he may go part time cos the money i would lose if i give up would be much more than he would lose part time,the other option is to get some help but even then it cant be healthy for me to be on my own 4 nights in a row
sil is visiting at weekend,she is actually managing to visit and not stay,theres a first.We are up to pils at easter for few days i just hope they arent planning a visit before,mil informed me we would be staying for a week yeah right,im alredy dreading 2 days with D and her weird ways.haha