feb 2011 - waving those pom poms

[slowangels1]

just to start a new (and possibly last) ante natal thread - come on knitta

sorry had to switch to lap top as my typing was waking d up.
Last night she slept well but i had a gallstone attack and was awake all night puking. Wiggles wiggles,how does one get a balance between dh working lates and our needs?I got up at 6.30 cos he is on lates but ive also had them for last 3 nights on my own.I went back up at 8.30 to get my shoes to go to school and he jumped out of bed all guilty and started cleaning up etc,made me feel like a nagging wife but i also work lates in my job and have never once led in bed the morning before or after. Sometimes i worry that our marriage has become a bit of a nag fest and competition to see who does the most!I did point out that i am not a childminder but a social worker on mat leave cqant do right for doing wrong it feels.

Hoping Thursday comes quick for you Jane xx

Ledkr It's shit, Mr W if he works 5pm-3am, he isn't there for bedtimes and he doesn't wake up in the morning for the school run. If he's on 10pm - 7am (Mon-Thu) he can help putting them to bed but then he's asleep 9am-4pm so we only see each other for about 90 mins a day!!! I feel a bit like a childminder as well sometimes Oh we constantly have competitions to see who is the tiredest!!! At the minute he's getting a lot of overtime but we don't see the benefit of that, as we are so skint at the minute, its not just me is it ? Because I work part-time there isn't that much difference in my work pay and maternity allowance but it's not stretching far at all - bloody feckin' price of bloody, feckin' diesel

Weather has turned lot cooler here, dd2 was searching for her socks this morning, she's been living in her Peppa Pig sandals for the past few weeks but socks and hoodies today

Well hes off for 4 days so i am going to sit on my arse while he does it all too and may well go to the pics one night,its like i say,not as if ive never worked shifts,i used to be up half the night if the kids in the childrens home didnt settle,they'd be setting off fire alarms and having water fights etc,i once got an hrs sleep by putting a football with a hat on it in the window so it looked as if i was watching them hahaha-they were the days.Best job in the world.

where are you all? i know i moan but theres no need to ignore me
Delilah giggled for the first time today at Ella mucking about,a proper giggle it was amazing.

ledkr, I just checked in to read posts quickly, am too bloody tired to write much that makes sense, don't know whats wrong with me at the moment?!

Am about D's giggle, how cute! Bet it was fantastic, can't wait for it with dd. Was it you that mentioned really enjoying her recently? Am feeling the same :)

Nighty night all, am off to bed, could have gone an hour ago to be honest

Delilah! That's lovely. Can't post much as dh is away in bloody California! Still got to clean up after dinner! Hope to catch up properly later in the week.

Morning all!
Wiggles, I know what you mean re diesel. I checked our credit card bill the other day and couldn't work out what we'd spent £70 on at Morrisons, then realised it was dh filling his car! It used to cost him about £50!
Ledkr, how lovely about D's giggle, makes it all worth it!
Both boys are still asleep, and dh left for a meeting in Rugby at 5am so I'm sat in bed eating breakfast playing on the iPad! Had a dodgy night with Noah again. He needed his dummy to settle after his last feed and his dream feed, then woke again at 2am for his dummy! Dh couldn't really help cos of needing to get up so early so am a wee bit tired this morning. Am hoping he's not going to become a pain with this dummy and am starting to regret giving it to him already!
Noah has become a lot more smiley and responsive over the last few days which is fab.
I had a chat with mil yesterday about my anxiety and she said I find it hard to go with the flow, which hit the nail on the head! Thats why I find this whole baby thing hard, cos with a baby you kind of have to take things as they come and cant control them!
Well it's another sunny day here, yippee. Have a good day you all

Morning ladies,
Well done Delilah, i bet she was super cute ledkr and Ella must have been such a proud big sister . Enjoy your 4 day rest!

tad hope the days fly by until DH is home.

bensmum I am like that too, i have to plan everything and stress out a bit when things don't keep to my schedule .

I cant wait until tomorrow is over, im stressing too much can't sleep and tmy tummy is knots thinking about it. I'm going to pop into the labour ward with a card and some chocs for the fantastic midwives who were caring for me and Zoe, i can't than them enough. Well im waffling on a bit here so im heading off to clean the house. Hope you all have a good day

wiggles love the photos . Was it a family dress for anna? We have 4 (yes 4!) family christening outfits to choose from which are all over 100 yrs old but they will prob all be too tight in the arms for Alice as she'll be 6 months when she has her christening due to my family being annoyingly busy unavailable earlier.

Finally have internet back - hurrah :) was frustrating but must admit got alot more done in the day without distractions

ledkr I hear you with feeling like a nagpot. DH accused me of nagging the other day and I felt so . Hope the gallstone thing gets better

jane thinking of you and hope the time isn't dragging too much in wait for your apt.

yes wiggles I only worked pt too so not a huge adjustment in income but enough for everything to add up quicker. And all our savings are going on doing bits to the new house/that darn car we bought.

jane good luck for tmw and also to go to the labour ward,i hope you will be ok,it will be very hard id imagine.
bensmum i think thats like me,i wanted my life to just carry on as normal and it cant I thnk when things were really bad i felt scared of D and what id do next time she cried or woke,i think that feeling has finally gone,i hope.I think thats the prob with dummies but he will soon be able to pick it up himself so i wouldnt fret,mine all had dummies and D certainly would have had it not been for her week suck from the cleft. I made the room extra dark last night and she defo slept later better.
Ithink i just managed to put it into words with dh,i said when we met i had a good job,convertable car,hectic social life and was planning on selling up and moving to spain,now i am going to struggle to work,drive a family car and am back in the rat race big time.I told him id be better off still going to spain than carrying on being a childminder for him. dh was working 9-5 when we met/married/had baby. He had yet again said he will try to change shifts but he doesnt.I was talking to one of his colleagues yesterday she has 2 kids and works 9.30-2.30 in the same dept!!! cos she is a woman.She had the audacity to suggest i wouldnt be able to go back to work due to dh shifts,i wanted to nut her. I bet her baby never had to come out of the bath to be dragged to brownies and her 9 yr old didnt rol around with hunger pains or go to bed at 10 on a school night grrr.My shoulders ache from doing everthing whilst holding delilah.

wiggles and ledkr I do feel for you with your DH's shift work, and am very that they won't alter the hours to make them more family friendly. Can you not kick up more of a fuss?

ledkr I'm with you on life changing. I wouldn't change my DDs for the world BUT when I married DH he was a designer for a construction company, drove a posh Audi and wore a different pair of shoes every time I saw him. He was made redundant after 6 months and only now (5 years later) is he earning money again- and that's working in his parents' business. He really is a different person now, everyone says it. I love him but he doesn't treat me well (not violent or anything, just not kind, no hugs or kisses, doesn't do anything for me, doesn't help out around the house at all). I keep holding on to the fact that he USED to be different and the depression that came on after he lost his job has led to him being so crap.

Not sure where all that came from....???

[bensmum] you're MiL is right, you really do have to go with the flow with a baby, and remember the day will pass and the week will and the months and then they'll be easier. Don't have regrets, they just make you feel bad.

O the diesel, the diesel, so depressing, you know it cost us £115 to fill up the tank this week and it wasn't even empty

Bensmum I was like that with dd1, not much of a go with the flow type, I had suffered from Anxiety and depression about 4 years before she was born and I really liked to have everything quite tightly under control but when dd2 came along I just had to try and loosen my grip ever so slightly, I just did little things differently and now six years later all everyone who meets me comments on, is how easy going I am, and how I'm so relaxed with the kids and Mr W etc. My Mantra in life is "fake it 'til you make it"

slowangels what is this thing called savings you speak of A's dress was bought for dd1 so its not that old but my mum bought it so I have given it back to her incase my sis needs it. My mil had found the christening shawl her mum had made when she had the boys so I used it for Anna and will put it away for her First Communion.

Ledkr I have said before that I really think you have the rough end of the deal, having D when Els was getting more and more independent etc, I know you wouldn't change it for anything but at least I was still wiping dirty bums and getting up through the night just before A was born, its not that big a change for me.

I don't mind Mr W shifts, I quite like being on my own I think what I find very difficult is how much our lives had to change. Mr W only decided to change careers 4 years ago( he had always wanted to be a policeman but we never thought it would be a safe option for us) He decided to go for it and flew through recruitment etc (some benefits to being a minority religion ) He absolutely loves it, and is so good at it, to be honest if something happened to a member of my family, or if I needed the police he's the type you would want turning up on your door but it has been such a life change for us. We had to move to a different area, we can't tell people what he does for a living, which makes things at dd1s school a bit difficult etc.

Debka when I was at my worst re depression I couldn't stand to be touched or having anyone to touch anyone and I'm a huggy bunny. It's good that you are talking about how you feel xx

Jane thinking of you, wishing away the time until tomorrow for you, hope you can feel all of us here beside you as you go into the meeting tomorrow.

tad Make sure dh brings you back something nice, a hunky but dim actor would suit me or at least a bottle of wine!

ooh wiggles can I be nosy and ask what Mr W's religion is?! And whilst I'm at it ask why you had to move? Hope you don't mind

deb I'm sorry about the lack of hugs etc from your dh. I know that would really get me down, I hope he appreciates what he has got with you.

Reading some of the shifts other peoples dp's have to do makes me really grateful that dp is a teacher so lots of hols and sensible hours. If it makes anyone feel any better - he does my head in sometimes having him around when he;s off - the house is a constant mess when hes home all the time and my routine gets thrown off! You can tell me to bugger off if you like

jane really good luck for tomo, don't know if it could be worth doing a list of any worries/questions you've got incase you forget anything when you're there? Just hope you're ok and will be thinking of you xx

Oh and I'm another nagger here - I know I do it and feel like a boring nagging old bint sometimes, the thing is if I don't nag dp won't do stuff haha! He rolls his eyes when I nag but then (for example) if I don't ask him to put the bottles in the fridge 3 times he won't do it and then I find bloody bottles in the sink the next morning

Something I meant to moan post about earlier (i know, all me me me ) - I think my very good friend is being a bit 'off' with me since I;ve had dd, especially in the last few weeks.
She's older than me and said she feels a bit depressed she might never have children (not in relationship etc), and me having dd has brought it home to her a bit, and has just been a bit funny with me recently.
I just feel a bit sad about it, saw her yest and thought I don't want to feel guilty for having dd.

Something cute (i may have already said this) dd has recently dicovered her hair (which she has a lot of) and is now lying on the floor rubbing her fingers in her lucious locks like shes in a shampoo advert

ILovePonyo We're Catholics - not the religion of choice in the police service in NI We lived in a very Catholic area of Belfast and we were worried about our neighbours knowing about Mr W - well not so much our neighbours but you know how gossip spreads!!

Love the fact that your dd is auditioning for next L'Oreal ad, dd1 had lots of hair from birth - not so much for dd2 and A - they're my little Kojacks .

Jane how are you this afternnon, still cleaning xx

Ha ha wiggles the cleaning lasted a whole 10 mins, went shopping instead!

ponyo i have a HUGE list of questions for the consultand, he is not going to know whats hit him! Your DD sounds so cute, playing with her hair already.

Oh yes, completely relate to the control freakishness and finding it hard to adapt. In a way I think I'm much more laid back now in a on holiday self as opposed to an organised and efficient at work self, but that's prob just as I've not been working for so long . Sometimes I feel quite pleased with myself with how I can go with the flow but other times I'm still the same organisational fiend (the other week end I was in tears trying to workout when we could go out for the afternoon to work with alices feeds - I got so muddled and anxious ). I find at home I'm very laid back but whenever I have to go anywhere I get very stressed with timings of feeds etc as I don't know where I might be able to feed etc.

Think in a way I struggle to adjust to change in lifestyle but also sort of have been waiting for it for a while - I only worked part time on purpose so it would work as a job once we had a family and made a conscious decision not to progress up the teaching career ladder as I knew for me it would be too much with a LO so my whole recent life has been planned and gearing up to this . Thing I struggle with most is not being able to go to the gym most days like I used to. Can't believe how fit and healthy I was and now all I do is eat chocolate and get miserable with my massive size 18/20 :(

ponyo love the hair fiddling. Alice was born with quite a bit of hair (well, so people told us when they saw her) but she's getting a baldy on the sides where she sleeps

bit of a question. does anyone leak wee? . Thought I was OK and had escaped all that but the last few days I've felt I keep every now and again leaking a bit. It's not really when I need the loo either - sometimes it's straight after . It's odd it's only started a couple of months post birth too. Anyone else get this a while after birth or am I just odd?

jane - today is nearly over now - not long now [hugs]

Hi ladies, having a quick skive whilst Cass kicks naked on the bed, DD and DS are at tennis and football respectively so house is calm!
wiggles love the pics glad christening went well. If it makes you feel better we are skint too, DP keeps going pale every time I mention projects we need to do in the house or new clothes I've seen.... Maybe its lottery ticket time?
jane hope you get some sleep and good luck for tomorrow.
ledkr poor you with gallstones, hope you feel better soon? Sounds like your DH's dodgy hours are getting you down, don't know how you cope. I whine at DP if he doesn't rush straight home after work and he's a 9 to 5 boy.
Speaking of DP he did his first night shift with baby on Sun night as I went out drinking then dancing night away (in Cookie Club - ponyo you must know it hehe - bit of a dodgy. Nottingham indie club!). So of course Cass slept through from 630 to 530 for the first time ever and hasn't done it since. DP was so fooking smug! I did upset him tho by telling him about the two student boys who (separately) tried to chat me up that night - I didn't mention they were pretty minging of course.... Got to keep him on his toes!
Going to go out for a run later, not looking forward to it but needs must.

Thanks wiggles I feel I should have known that b'cos of the Christening thinking about it but am not knowledgable on that sort of thing

jane good for you with the list, hope you didn't think I was stating the obvious in a patronising way, am a big fan of lists so thought of straight away. Sending you big hugs for tomo.

angels I think I have been leaking wee every now and then, very and about it. Though I have not been doing my pelvic floor exercises as often as I could, naughty. Its so annoying, I worry I'm having some sort of bleeding or something but no, its just wee At least I can assure you you're not alone or odd!

MizK I can't believe you went to the cookie club, brilliant, a few years ago I was there every week along with Rock City! I bet they played loads of old school indie classics, I remember I fell over getting onto a (very low down) stage there in front of a load of people once haha Bless C sleeping through that night, shows you probably need some more nights out then

What I didn't mention about dd rubbing her hair is that her sharp little nails scratch her scalp so she looks like she's got dandruff .

Jane, all the best for tomorrow, will be thinking of you.
Angles, yep to the weeing. It's not too bad, and is usually not when I feel i need to go.
I'm pleased a few of you also find it hard to let go. I always feel happier when I've had a busy day with Noah getting out and about. Baby massage was good this afternoon, although we couldn't join in as when I 'asked' Noah if he wanted a massage he cried so the leader said he was saying no! there are sone nice girls there tho o I got to have a good chat

jane hope you sleep tonight and that tomorrow goes well. Really hope they have some answers for you.

I'm a bit worried about S. She doesn't seem to be gaining weight- she's turned into a skinny little scrap. She feeds well in the morning, but in the afternoon, even though she feeds every 2 hours or so, she just doesn't seem to take much. I'm taking her to be weighed tomorrow so I'll know for sure, hope it puts my mind at rest, but I don't think she's put much on at all. DD1 has always been skinny, perhaps because S was so inflated (!) at birth, it's skewing things, IYKWIM.

ponyo glad you asked wiggles about the religion cos I was about to too!!

Just think girls, we can move to POST NATAL soon- wahey!!

debka I'm sure if hv is in any way concerned she will sort you out when you have S weighed. They were super worried with Alice as she lost what they consider to be too much weight, but she's fine now (IMO). She weighed quite alot when she was born too but has levelled out to 50th centile now.

bensmum complete at you not being able to massage noah because he sad no when you asked. I don't swear (good girl emoticon) but my reaction was WTF?! I keep reading you have to ask the baby permission to massage before you start, now, I see how that's all very nice and everything but they can't really understand. I massage alice every night before bed time and I never ask her - I just stop if she winges. My massage class was due to start tomorrow but has been cancelled :( so am starting another one in June. I'd be really if I'd payed for a class and I couldn't practice what she was showing.

Debka I'm sure S is fine, remember I had that wee wobble about A's weight after the helpful HV thought she hadn't put enough on compared to her birth weight , I put a tunic/dress on A this morning size 3-6 months and although it was big everywhere else it didn't go down as far as her knees

Got some bits and pieces for the girls today for our holiday, has really put me in good form, gotta love Tesco double up vouchers - 6 weeks today I'll be getting ready for the mini-disco . The girls will be vvv disappointed if they've changed the dances from last year. Mr W in a moment of weakness found the songs on i-tunes, so for the past few months we have been listening to the most inane songs imaginable but at least they've been in Spanish.

Hi ladies...hope all is well. Jane really hope tomorrow goes ok as it possibly can for you x.

Ladies I have a question re: return of periods...had my first period post birth at 7 weeks...lasted a bit longer than normal,but wasn't particularly heavier than normal. 2.5 wks later,had another tho only lasted 3 days & fairly light (mine are usually lightish)...is it normal to have the early ones so close together? Am normally a 28 day cycle girl!

mizk good luck with the running...I started running again after 5.5 weeks...getting there but must do pelvic floor exercises!! Running the British 10k in London in 10th July for nct...thought afterwards I should've run for SANDS in memory of Zoe. Thinking of doing another run in September..so will try to run for that charity then

Nate slept thru til 6.15am lady night from half 11....tho bad mother alert...both me & Hubby forgot to take monitor upstairs last night so god knows how long he was crying for....oops! Felt soooo guilty this morning....

Hiya! Sorry, I haven't caught up with the thread, I just wanted to wish Jane luck for tomorrow. I will be thinking of you and virtually hand holding (hugs).