feb 2011 - waving those pom poms

[slowangels1]

just to start a new (and possibly last) ante natal thread - come on knitta

Hi everyone,

It's been ages since I last posted although I've been trying to keep up with everything. I literally don't have a minute to myself ATM, with 2 of them. It was DD1's 2nd birthday yesterday too so it was busy busy here. It only seems like yesterday she was a tiny baby and now she is a big lumbering toddler, where does the time go?

Tarlia and knitta you poor poor things with such awful times. It can't be easy to recover physically or mentally from that. Tarlia keep coming on here and we can try and be there for you. So sorry your MiL and OH are being crap. My DH is the epitome of crapness but I have lots of other family around to help so I can leave him to get on with his own thing. Sigh. Never expected my marriage to be like this. I am a jolly happy person and he is the miserablest misery you'd ever meet. He was made redundant 6 months after we married and he's not held down a proper job since then (5 years ago), and I think that may be at the root of the problem, he is a different man since then. And I am officially a saint. :)

S is doing well although I think she's getting her 6wk growth spurt- she's gone off her predictable routine and fed a lot more today. Just hope she needs to catch up on sleep tonight.... I know I do!

Hope all are doing ok and your babies give you a good night tonight.

PS knitta jut reread your post- try not to panic about not enjoying the early days. They ARE overwhelming but try and trust yourself as LO's mum and don't worry about anything or anyone else. And make sure you eat, drink and rest as much as possible too.

Hi girls just a quickie to say hi, sorry to tarlia and knitta for your rough times but hopefully you can take comfort knowing that these feelings are perfectly normal. You are doing brilliantly whatever you may feel and have brought a little person into the world so give yourselves a break.

And as for milk drying up, maybe eaurouge has some tips as she knows lots about this sort of stuff...I would just keep putting baby to breast and drink LOTS of water to keep hydrated. Eat well too, easier said than done but you will be ok. And if you're not, deal with it then and because you decide to stop not because someone else keeps being negative. Big hugs

Hello, sorry I haven't posted for ages. S has been hard work and ds1 has been suffering from jealousy issues. Also it looks like the application to renew dh's visa has not been received and it runs out next week. Really getting worried that he might have to leave the country (our renewal is being processed) and I don't know when he could come back. He would almost certainly lose his job and then the house etc. It's just a bit worrying.

Sorry to hear about people's birth stories not going to plan and ILs being really irritating. Sorry about feeding issues too. I don't have any advice about that as though I have plenty of milk, I am still sore feeding from my left and he is nearly 7 weeks old already.

I hope you all have good nights and plenty of really restful sleep.

Hi all..

sorry to hear about those having latch troubles and PIL's.....us mummy's definately get the rough end of the deal don't we?

Well LO is feeding better...but still not great. She starts to do something weird with her tongue. If she was tongue tied, would she have been feeding well then go down hill? or would it have always been bad? I just can't work it out. She is only having 3 oz max now!!

oh i hope one day we can look at this thread and laugh.......

morning

knitta what a birth story for you - so opposite from what you had hoped, you did fab to get through it all. I hope you and tarlia can get over your experiences - it can be really traumatic.

pinkie I'm glad LO is feeding a bit better - fingers crossed it gets better and better. Not sure about the tongue thing though

This swing everyone speaks of - is it better than a bouncing cradle chair? We have a bouncing chair but DD doesn't seem to like it that much. She is quickly becoming the high maintanence won't be put down and screams all the time type of baby and I'm starting to consider anything to get some peace.

Having said that, I'm trying to put her in the big girl cot (not moses basket) sometimes now to get her used to it for when she grows out of moses basket and she's just spent a very quiet half hour in there - I thought she was asleep but just popped in and she's lying there looking around all over the place in great wonderment - hope the quiet lasts as have had several mini breakdowns the past couple of days.

tad they won't make him leave the country will they????? Keep us updated.

Angels, think were all having mini breakdowns at the moment. I had one yesterday afternoon, and felt really trapped by Noah sleeping on me so put him in the pram and took me, Ben and Noah to Costa for cookies and hot chocolate. Part of me is thinking just let him sleep on me for now and fix t in the future and part of me is screaming for him to sleep anywhere but on me!
Am feeling v anxious about all this and not really enjoying Noah at all which makes me really sad.
Tarlia, it sounds as if you had an awful time, hopefully the memory will fade for you soon.
Tad, you must be really worried, keep us posted

Bensmum i felt abit better reading your post,i too feel like i have had very little enjoyment from this baby and dont remember that with the other 4.I feel very guilty,but i think it is cos she is such hard work with the reflux and cleft.I have no bonding issues i just feel completely over taken and resentfull of dh being at work and just carrying on with his life whilst mine has taken massive change,D had a good day yesterday and i managed to go to town etc and she was all smiley and sweet so i felt great and then lst night she was unsettled and i was back to being upset,weeping to dh telling him i couldnt believe how my life is now.Its so weird,do you think we all made a bunch of difficult babies on this thread.

Knitta-i havent forgotten you,i will pm you later xx

Ledkr, I really think Noah is quite an easy baby though, he cries when hungry or tired and that's it (touch wood). I don't have breast feeding issues as am bottle feeding and don't seem to have any other problems so I should be enjoying him!
I too feel resentful of dh getting to go to work and basically carry on with hid normal life while I'm here with this tiny little person attached to me all day!
Im thinking that mini meltdowns are par for the course for the next few months. At least we can come on here and talk to each other!

Hi all,

Just thought I would let you know dd is currently asleep in her new swing :) I got it yesterday and she hated it, screamed as soon as I put her in it but I persevered today and fingers crossed she'll sleep for a bit. angels dd has a bouncer but has never liked it, it looks a bit uncomfortable for her and might be better when she's bigger.

Seems things are tough for a lot of us at the moment. Has anyone seen the "things you weren't prepared for when you had your baby" thread on chat? I found it quite reassuring reading tbh.

Ihave been reading but not able to post lots, I need to go and make the most of dd being asleep now! But agree pinkie, hopefully we will be able to return to this thread and smile very soon ...

Hi everyone! Sorry I haven't been posting much recently. DD2 hasn't been sleeping much during the day so I have to make the most of when she does sleep.

Knitta and Tarlia, I'm so sorry that you've both had such horrendous birth experiences. I hope that it gets better to deal with over time. tarlia, you deserve a medal for not giving MIL a slap! When I hear tales of MILs on here, I feel so bloody lucky with mine!

Everyone - stop apologising! The amount of posts I've seen on this thread saying, "I'm sorry that this post is self-indulgent/self-absorbed/me me me!" no body on here is self-indulgent - we are all here to support each other and writing your feelings down here really helps!

Got my hearing aid fixed today! I've coped with just one for over a week and got used to it, so everything sounds dead loud now, particularly DD1! And we finally went to register DD2. I didn't realise that we now have to re-register DD1 as we weren't married when she was born but now we are!

I can't believe that DD2 is over 4 weeks old now! She's now officially no longer a newborn .

Knitta and Tarlia sorry to hear you had a rough time in labour/birth. At least with MN you know that you have our support and you are not the only ones to feel like this. I had a bad time having DS1, and looking back, MN would have been a huge support to me in dealing with the physical and emotional aftereffects, if it had been around then.

It does get better with time, and try not to feel guilty about not enjoying the first few days - there are much better ones ahead.

Oh ladies, sorry to hear everyone's having such a testing week / month. I can't help thinking it's very similar for all of us.

For me it seems directly linked to how much sleep I get. DH was a star and covered last night so I'm okay today, but LO tends to be awake most of the time between midnight and 5ish, which makes real rest pretty difficult. I'm trying to steel myself not to feed him more than every four hours during the night tonight, in an effort to persuade him that sleep is more fun! Not sure how that's going to go...

Hang in there everyone, it has to get better from here!

pinkie,yes persevere with swing defo,i swaddle Delilah in it ans she sleeps for ages.
Night looked grim when she woke up at 2am as from the first night feed she doesnt settle due to the reflux,its normally 4am which is a bit more bearable tbh. Anyway i fed her and low and behold she actually slept until 7,i was so relieved,it muct be the new meds.
Mini meltdown or mmd of the day was when we spoiled a nice afternoon in the sun visiting the charity shops for bigger clothes and having lunch,when dh pushe the pram out in front of an on coming car,i screamed, everyone stared at us,dh stomped off obviously feeling embarrassed. I then got into a rd rage argument with a fat bearded bull of a man then some stupid woman squeezed thru small space forcing me to scrape my car a bit,dh muttering in the passenger seat "oh nice one" What a twunt, he nearly killed our baby but has ago at me re the car.
I am not speaking to him now and he went off to do some gardening leaving me with D,when she woke i called him in and said that id actually like to be in the sunshine too but was stuck with the drudgery the same as everyday,he is feeding her now.
I dont know what is wrong with me,its not like im a first timer.Am fed up of crying,i just want my old life back but at the same time adore Delilah,i feel so guilty.
Sorry for being so negative,its something i dont want to admit in rl.

Ledkr, I don't know if it helps but going back to my old life would be great for me too. I miss it just being me, dh and Ben. Tho I love Noah sometimes I do think we should have stuck with one child. Im sure these feelings will pass for us once things settle down. You have been thru a lot with D, and I have PND, kinda makes it hard for us to feel positive all the time!
One of 4 , I think my moods can depend on how much sleep I get too. I think it's hard o think straight on minimal sleep.
Hope you've all had a good day and are enjoying the weather

Thanks bm,thats exactly how i feel. Its Friday, id normally be planning a big relax and a nice meal and wine,a late night a lie in cinema with dd tomorrow and the same again sat or a night out with friends.
I wonder about pnd too,maybe i will go.
Oh yeah and fitting into my lovely clothes would be ahelp,i feel like a fat drudge at the mo.
I keep thinking to myself D will be easier even in 6 months but its hard to see past it all, i am angry at dh carrying on as normal and his shifts changing so dramatically since baby came,i nearly told him to go earlier as id rather be on my own,dont have to rely on anyone that way. I think im very set in my ways,was on my own with the dcs for yrs and dh just fitted in,now i feel its different for some reason.
Sorry,ill cheer up by tmw-cant even get on the much as feel terrible for night feeds then

hi i am sorry for the moody post,i came back to post i spoke to dh and told him i think i have a little pnd,D slept like a dream and dh gave me a lie in,the sun is shining and i got up feeling refreshed and positive-THE FUCKING PILS THEN ARRIVED UNNANNOUNCED!!!! is it me? They will be here till late mess up D's routine and eat like horses.I am currently hiding in my room debating driving up ti brum for a clubby night out with my bessie mate,dh wont be happy but i can blame it on pnd haha. Last night i told my own son and his gf they couldnt stay long as it was d's bedtime and we hadnt eaten but its ok for them to just turn up I have to stay up here cos if they move in to kiss me i may head butt them heeeeeeelp

Ledkr, Im glad you were feeling better today......until the in laws turned up! Good that you told dh you may have PND. Now he knows he can maybe help out a little more when he can see your at your wits end!
I had quite a good night. Fed Noah at 7.30 pm, then slept on the sofa bec in the spare room. Dh got me up at 11.30 to feed Noah then I was back in bed by midnight. Dh fed him at 3.30 am but then Noah was wide awake. By 5.30 he was crying so I swapped places with dh and got Noah into bed with me. He fell straight asleep and I dozed. I made sure he was safe by places pillows all around him. He looked sopeaceful and I comfortable!
Am pleased Noah is able to go 4 hours at night but wish he would sleep after his early morning feed! Any tips on encouraging this???
Hope you are all well today

has anyone had any babys/dcs with severe hip problems. F had a scan yesterday as she was transverse late in pregnancy and they have found a severe abnormality in the shape/bone of the socket joint. She has been put into a pavlik harness which keeps her legs at a 90 degree angle. It looks so uncomfortable. I have worked so hard to avoid pnd and i think it has started to return. I'm just not sure i can cope with whats to come and the feeling this was probably genetic has left me with such a feeling of guilt and insecurity. I'm just so lost right now.
Ledkr can't believe your pil just turn up without so much as a phonecall i would be fuming

hubbard I'm so sorry to hear about dd's hip problems. No advice but please don't feel guilty. It must be horrible seeing her in the harness if it looks uncomfortable, its the best thing obviously but always hard to see them in pain/uncomfy. Really hope you get lots of help from hv/family/hospital and your dp, will you mention your concerns about pnd to doc or hv?

ledkr your inlaws are bloody unbelieveable I hope they have buggered off by now?! Or you are on your way to brum

wandering are they officially no longer newborns past 4 weeks then?! Dd is 6 weeks on monday, aah I still think of her as a newborn

Hope everyone else has a peaceful weekend with lots of sleep...

Hubbard, how upsetting for you. At least they've found the problem and are fixing it, although it must be hard for you to see her like that. Please speak to your doctor or hv if your finding it all really hard, it's not surprising with what's going on.

will be going to the drs on tuesday about pnd and to make an appt with their cbt therapist. Familywise i only have my mum as dh's are useless and have not even met freya (they live 10min bus ride away). Its just hard when all my friends see me as the strong one who they all turn to for help to be the one who is finding everything hard. I think everythings just started to pile on top of me and making the world seem a dark place. I'm hoping i will feel better tomorrow as it might have sunk in a little more. So so sorry to offload on here and be all me me me but i'm unable to at home. Thanks ladies xx

Sorry so many of us are feeling so down. I think tiredness is beginning to catch up and overtake us and the simplest things are getting us down. I can't believe your PILs just turn up ledkr, mind, it would be nice if our dps would come out and see us a bit earlier then they are planning. It feels a bit like they're not interested in S. I'm sorry about F's hips hubbard - I don't have any experience in this but I'm sure there's someone on MN who is full of wisdom. Hope everyone is having a relaxing Saturday evening. It's still snowing here but at least it looks like we won't have to leave the country next week!

They only live 10 mins away but havn't been to see you? Anyway good for you going to docs and getting cbt too, hope they are supportive.
I know what you mean about your friends seeing you as the strong one, but hopefully once you've told them how you are feeling they'll be able to help out? I know I have spent a long time myself deliberating telling people how I am feeling, and then once I've done it realised I should have done it ages ago because (good) friends and family only want to help if you're having a tough time of it. Thats a bit waffly but hope it makes sense?
Also hope you feel better tomorrow :)

Snow tadjenny?!

thanks ponyo. I have posted on childrens health for advice and am waiting for responses. My fil sent me a threatening e mail at 36weeks so i refused to allow him near me but he has not spoken to his son since beginning of jan. Not even a txt when his own granddaughter was in hospital but he is a waste of space and dh sisters aren't much better. I think my friends will understand i just need to be brave enough to show weakness. My mums been great offering to go to nxt apt with me as dh is not good with hospitals and will be looking after ds.
I'm more worried what other people will see. As to me she's perfect but in others eyes theres a problem and then answering peoples questions over and over seems very daunting at moment i'll get better. Being able to put my thoughts out there on mn is helping a lot though even if they are self centred.
Snow in march??
Wonder if ledkr is tearing it up in brum or having to put up with the pil