feb 2011 - waving those pom poms

[slowangels1]

just to start a new (and possibly last) ante natal thread - come on knitta

at the DHs again

bit of a change of subject but does anyone know if the budget has happened yet today? I'm wondering if your child allowance is safe or if it's the next thing to go

any news from prof yet? think she's desserted us once and for all

Hi ladies. I'm trying to get Nate to adopt the gina ford feeding times...in the hope that it will eventually train him to go thru the night...paid for it in Monday for trying to get him to do something new...was feeding every 2 hours,grrr...but he is almost 4 weeks so I think it was also a growth spurt.

pinkie Nate was doing same on Monday..taking half what he used to then falling asleep...then up an hour later!! I have now changed his teat to the next one up & he's taking a bit more like he used to now.

And...don't want to get too excited but he had a feed at 10...then 2...then 6. He was doing 3 hours like clockwork so hoping this is his routine now in the way to eventually going whole night in a couple of weeks!

Eau at chocolate - my MW said the same but at the spinach! Not having loads of milk, just a glass a day, which is more than I would normally bother with.

Angels, sorry didnt mean to mislead you about the nights, just trying not to have Mikey wide awake during the night. He will wake for feeds but then want to go asleep again rather than play

he wouldnt f'ing dare need to,i told him last night id be better on my own.Arent you good with the routine,i just dont hsve the timea and did it all with dd1 but felt it made abit of a rod for things like holidays and in the summer when i just want to sit in the garden and drink wine

Birth story

Went for induction on day 40+15 after almost two weeks of pre-labour starts and stops. Got a slow release gel pessary inserted. It felt very wrong to be at hospital so left without telling anyone and went to our fav. pub which was just round the orner and a short walk. contractions started a few hours later, by midnight they were regular so called dh to come back to hospital, contracted all night, dh was amazing. Next morning was taken to the delivery suite and a mw checked me, was only 1-2 cm dilated but my cervix had done a lot of work as it was very posterior, it was now forward, completely effaced and favourable. The plan was to avoid syntocin as it meant continuous monitoring and she was happy with this, until she broke my waters and found lots of meconium... her examination then was horrendous, she said that it was to 'stir things up' but it was just violent. Went straight on to the drip after two failed canulas and lots of pain, gosh I hate that woman! Thankfully she left and didn't come back. Thing really picked up then, dh was great easing the back pressure (obviously he was back to back but nobody seemed to be too worried about this), by the afternoon I was 4 cm dilated and not needing pain relief yet, the feeling of elation that things were going well still makes me cry today. 4 hours later nothing had happened, the pressure to my bottom was unbereable, had g&A by now for sometime. Was examined, no more dilatation and cervix was getting inflamed, they wanted to put up the syntocin, but I could not bear the thought of it, had not slept now for two days and wasn't going to have the energy to push, so agreed to an epidural. It was great and managed to sleep for a couple of hours, the idea was for baby to turn with the stronger contractions, but alas, nothing, by midnight an obstetrician was called to check on baby and he suggested a section, although he would be happy to wait 2 hours, but no more. Baby was starting to be distressed and I didn't want to put him through that, so agreed to have the section. It was very calm and we were given plenty of time to make our decision. Baby cried immediately and the obs said 'congratulations you've had a toddler!' he was too big to turn and a vaginal delivery would have been horrendous, apparently. I was shaking with all the drugs so dh held him first. Then my uterus failed to contract and I lost 1.3 litres of blood, I new something was wrong because dh returned the baby to the mw and just held my hand, I asked him why and he said that he wanted to be with me, I felt like falling asleep and kept fighting it as not to scare him.
Spent a week in hospital, my milk was delayed probably due to anaemia, baby was jaundiced and we had a very strict feeding regime. The staff was absolutely amazing, but I so wanted to get out of there! Baby is now putting on weight again after loosing 12.5 %.
I am still crying about how the total opposite of my birth plan took place, and having had a section, cry everyday about it, but I know I was lucky and should be thankful, just finding it hard.

Hi everyone, been lurking but not posting as its been so hectic here!

Every day is a surprise for us, M will only go 2 hrs between feeds in the day if we are at home, but if we are out in the car/with her in the pram, she will sleep for longer. So I managed to go shopping yesterday and bought a couple of nice -tents- tunics in White Stuff, as none of my old tops fit me and fed up of maternity clothes. today DS2 is off school with a high temperature so we are stuck in the house and feeding constantly!

my DH has not been around much either, he works long hours and is training for a sports event later in the year, but I have had other family here -getting- -in- -the- -way- helping, which has been a real boon. my neighbour has been taking DCs to school in the am, which really helps too.

I have been really forgetful though and missed lots of stuff like a hairdressers appt which I made before DD arrived etc. Will have to phone them and grovel - hopefully they will let me off if I bring the baby in for a visit!

grannywhat teat are you on now? we changed yesterday to medium variflow....but maybe its too fast?? Also going to try a bottle of comfort milk instead of aptimil....she has had 5 oz since 12 am....

had a crying breakdown earlier...as i just don't know which way to turn anymore!!

pinkie he seems to take the variflow teat ok during the day, but first time I used it was at night & vomited over me,I think cos the flow was too fast. That was on Sunday night,but he's been ok since. Am also using the medium flow teat too (the one with 2 holes) so we now only have something like 2 bottles with the newborn teat left out of 7 bottles..

What is comfort milk??

pinkie hope you are ok - and hope you have someone supportive looking after you at the moment?
We are still using the same teat but if it helps, dd only drank 2oz when we first started using the gaviscon on monday, but now seems to be drinking more again. Might be getting used to the thicker milk? Hope you're ok.

ledkr will try the water, good idea thanks. Am going baby swing shopping tomorrow!

knitta at birth story, wow. Sorry you're finding it hard, I hope things start feeling better for you soon. Glad your lo is gaining weight too.

We just bathed dd and she didn't scream the whole time, progress!

pinkie,just replied on the reflux thread,please will you let me go how it is later.
Knitta-as a veteran section haver i went thru all that before,whem dd is asleep i will come back on to tell you my thoughts on the subject,its very disappointing i understand but you will move on from this,nothing is ever how you plan it with kids,look at me,i had an image of a perfect little life cos im an old hand and much more equipt for it all,i was not banking on a cleft palate and reflux tho speak later xxxx

knitta you've been through so much and whilst i'm sorry you didn't have the hb, you have coped with so much and you should feel proud of yourself. i refuse to feel bad about having a hospital birth when i'd planned a hb, it really doesn't matter how our babies come into the world, what matters is that you are all okay (your dh sounds lovely wanting to be with you after he'd been born). anyway, you're amazing in my humble opinion

i'm still that ben drank 8oz of formula this morning!!!! my mum had him whilst i had an appt and he had a whole carton of aptamil... he's 7 weeks not months and was still only 8lb 10 last week. guess he's got a lot of growing to do

knitta - sorry your birth didn't go the way you wanted it to. I ended up with a forceps delivery when I was aiming for a water birth, lost nearly a litre of blood, 3rd degree tears, etc. I have found coming to terms with it really difficult, especially as I've had difficulties breastfeeding as well. Nothing seemed to go the way I wanted it to and I felt really disappointed. I'm coping better now so I hope you feel better after a bit of time.

Grannyapple - our baby swing is worth its weight in gold! L likes to be held 24/7 but will sometimes sleep in it long enough for me to have a shower or eat a proper meal using both hands.

Hi ladies,

Twice in a couple of days means maybe I'm feeling better?!

I do think I am in fact. I am having more ups than downs so I think I am starting to feel like I might get through this without the anti-ds. I am also going to stop feeling guilty for letting Mum & MIL take her out for a couple of hours. As someone said, it takes a village to raise a child and I think I will be a better Mum if I stop assuming that I am supposed to do everything on my own whilst DH is at work. I know I'm stupendously lucky to have help, but that hasn't really 'helped' while I've not let myself make the most of it.

So in general am starting to feel better and am touched by the lovely comments on here.

In response to some others - I am also starting to follow a very loose Gina type regime. Not to the letter, but now Claudia is gaining (loads of!) weight, I have the freedom to tweak things a bit to suit her better than the strict feeding plan which I think was interfering with her natural sleep patterns.

Anyway day 2 of Gina-lite today and so far so good .

Am loving reading all of your updates and news, sorry for those having a tough time with reflux and difficult babies, it makes me feel a little lame for having my headcase issues despite Claudia actually not being that difficult LOL, but I am starting to understand that my state of mind is not actually about Claudia but about me.

Also big whoop and cheers for Knitta ! Congratulations.

Thinking of you all xx
Dx

Sorry I should have said Knitta , sorry your birth didn't go the way you would have wanted, but congratulations on your arrival anyway, I hope you start to feel better soon, and I hope you have lots of RL support and people to talk to about it if you need to.

Didn't mean to sound insensitive, I just wanted to give you a cheer for your safe if obviously somewhat traumatic delivery.

Dx

knitta i too started to bleed heavily on the table as they could not get the uterus to contract and the drugs they gave me to help it triggered an asthma attack and a serious plummet in blood pressure. Nobody will judge u but yourself and the feeling that you have failed at one of the most natural things in the world can be very overwhelming. Talk everyones ears off about it as talking it through makes things clearer. These feelings will eventally fade and you will be able to face it. Look after yourself and cry as much as you like

Knitta, sorry you didn't get the birth you wanted, I think your very brave and have obviously been though alot, it'll only get better I hope.
Were not really following any routine. With Ben I was quite strict and ended up stressing myself out if he didn't conform! Were kind of following Noahs lead at the moment, so feeing every 3/3.5 hours.
You sound a lot less stressed Dekia, which is good. Feeling anxious all the time is horrible isnt it?
Pinkie, I hope you are ok. It's hard when no answer seems right isnt it? I hope you have lots of support around you in rl.
Hope everyone else is ok

Knitta I'm so sorry it was so traumatic. My baby was very big and got wedged after a very similar story to yours, and it's taken me nearly 4 weeks for the damage from the vaginal delivery to get to a manageable point. I'm still wincing if I move too fast! It is hugely disappointing though and I've found that things going so very contrary to how you think they might needs quite a bit of processing. Big gold star to your Dh though.

Delia - glad you can see some light at the end of the tunnel. I think quite a few of us are struggling with ups and downs. I cried all over the registrar yesterday morning when she told me off for being 10 mins late and didn't stop until mid-afternoon. I'm trying to get through without Anti-ds too.

Deliaskis glad you're having more ups than down, please take advantage of any help from mum or mil - its lovely they can and want to help. Take care.

Knitta thanks for posting story, well done and hugs for your dh as well, must have been so frightening, take it easy on yourself xx

I don't have any real routine with Anna either, at the minute she goes to bed at 7.30-8.00pm, wakes between 11pm-1am has a feed, goes back to sleep quite quickly, then wakes up for the day at about 5.30-6am. At the minute I'm happy with that, she can sleep most of the morning or can refuse to close her eyes and just continuously feed!! I actually find that the more she sleeps during the day the better she sleeps at night . I haven't had Anna weighed since heel prick test, she's 5 weeks, so just going to wait until we have 6/8 week check up. She's due to have her first round of innoculations then anyway!!

i have a slight routine with freya but it's more what she seems to have fallen into. Feeds 8 am, 11.30, 2.30, 5.30, 8pm, 11 and 2.30. She stays awake from the 8am till 11.30 feed then sleeps till next feed and then sleeps again. Awake from 5.30 till next feed, then sleeps until about 10 then is awake till her feed an hour later. She sleeps during the night only waking for her feed. If she is still awake after her night feed, i just put her back in her moses and she drops off herself. It is not rigid just letting her tell us what she needs

As you can imagine i have been inundated with offers from mil to help out with Delilah,do a little light housework NOT enjoy it those who have it.

D slept better last night 8-4 then slept on her swing for the remainder of the night,dh manged to sleep but i was kept awake by the noisy swing.
I am hoping her increased meds have helped.She is going for her injections in a bit tho so l probably be up all night tonight.

Hope you are all enjoying the sun,i have got my summer linens on.......with a bloody elastic band holding the button closed

Ledkr you mean your in-laws haven't been taking your washing in, scrubbing your floors, having D for you

Jealous of your summer linens, I had to run to Primark the other day for a pair of cheap sunglasses for driving. It's lovely here but dd2 wasn't feeling great last night, so we had a restless night, thankfully A didn't join in. Dd2 waited until we were at dd1s school before announcing she was going to throw up, thankfully was able to find plastic bag and she thoughtfully threw up into that Not doing my reputation at dd1 school any good to have a 3 year old puking into a Tesco bag at 8.30am. We are ensconced on the sofa eating ice-lollies at the minute. Anna's been asleep since 8amish so probably about to wake up at have mammoth feed!!

Hey Ladies and babies, I too have been reading and not feeling up to posting.

The MIL saga gets better, after her having a huge tantrum about LO name being too British (hello he IS half British!!??) and it being me that was forcing OH into "allowing" the name. She is now complaining that I have not been "welcoming" them when they visit post birth. Bare in mind the occasions she speak of were 1.5 week post birth, where I'd been feeding all morning and finally got a shower just before they arrived so was getting dressed, drying my hair and and getting LO to sleep then came from the bedroom straight after to hug and say hi etc etc and 3.5 weeks post birth, when I was sat on the sofa with LO who would have woken and screamed. The front door is directly into living room so spoke as they arrived and hugged when they came over. I had a 2nd boardering 3rd degree tear for gowds sake and am still suffering in week 6 - yet she ecxpects I jump around offering drinks and food!? Errr, whats wrong with her sons coffee I'll never know, especially since he is a coffee freak and I don't drink it!!

Breastfeeding has been going very much downhill too- I was getting uncomfortable and LO was taking so long to feed, so I googled about latch etc, bad idea as ours is crap and I'm finding it impossible to get support over here. Oh and the MIL again is helping heaps by keep telling me I don't have enough milk... my milk will totally dry up by 6 months... Hmm, thanks for that! What did I do to suddenly deserve the MIL from hell, just when I need the support as do not have much of a network of here.

I feel awful, I keep finding myself crying when LO is and then I suddenly notice its gone quiet, I look down and he is looking at me with his beautiful big eyes . OH is being a bit crap too, apparently I should do everything as he is "at work all day". He is very good at doing the 7am feed at the weekend (early bird) but its a long time weekend to weekend when LO is waking to be fed every two hours some nights and not being put down all day, it would be nice if he could do the 10pm feed without the guilt trip.

knitta I'm so sorry you didn't have the labour you had hoped and planned on. Nor did I, it gets a bit easier to deal with as the days/weeks go on.
I didn't feel it was appropriate to speak about before when others were still to labour and I also found it a bit hard to speak about, I had a horrible experience, no pain relief at all as there wasn't time. Everything went too fast for communication other than shouts of "breath the oxygen for the baby", my veins collapsed, they punctured one that then bled out, I was passing out betweeen contractions, ended up with a trapped nerve at the beginning and couldn't move legs, lovely tear as I had to push him out as quickly as possible even though he had his hand by his ear and to top it all, he came out cold and blue. I'll never forget the feeling of him being put on my stomach as they rubbed him with a towel. I had spectators the whole time with MWs on standby at the end of the bed and 2 doctors in and out. God knows why they didn't take me for an EMCS, I think it was to do with me not being stable enough as they were having to medicate my pre-eclampsia, I'm hoping my notes will explain all as I'm requesting to see them. Urk, I wont even go into the days that followed :-(.

Still, he is here and I love him to bits and I am thankful everyday that things are not different.

Jeeze, I'm so sorry thats so self indulgent, it all sort of spilled out.

What is this 'swing' you all speak of? Is it like a bouncy chair?

Delia I'm so sorry you are feeling down. Do take the help thats being offered to you, take a little time for you, if even to have a hot shower without the worry of screams as soon as you switch it off.

knitta Pablo is such a cutie, congratulations! Sorry I meant to say that before too.

Loving all the Gina-lite's going on. We are still not falling into a routine, I'm going to start writing down what he is doing, as I just forget.

Wow, 8oz, needto thats impressive, go Ben!

I was wondering about prof too, angels. Maybe she is just very busy or something!? Any news on the UK budget then?

tarlia I wrote down Ben's feeding times to get an idea of how often it was but then got a bit obsessed with it so stopped but it was useful (I had no idea what day it was let alone how often he was feeding at the time!). Again, I think that you should be proud of yourself for dealing with such a hard labour. I hope you start to feel better soon, it's awful what your MIL is doing, please don't let her undermine you, one of my fears is that my milk will dry up so I understand how upsetting her comments could be. She sounds like a control freak anyway!

hmm, budget.... even ben fell asleep!

So sorry for such a me me post, and thank you for all your comments. ledkr do write please, I still don't know how to deal with it even though I know it was the best and had the best outcome. Sorry to hear am not the only one with a problem with my delivery, thanks for sharing tarlia oneof and amer and everyone else. I just feel very guilty as know I should be enjoying these precious early days with LO but instead feel just overwhelmed by it all.
And I'm so behind everyone too! no idea what a routine actually is!