February 2011 - still some left to pop, surely not...

[ZeroMinusZero]

Took it upon myself to start a new thread. Everyone's popping right now!

PS: Sorry for the awful rhyme, it was all I could think of

Hi all
It seems we are all having good and bad days at the moment, and selfish as it seem, I am so relieved to hear it. I honestly think it is just a normal part of being a new mum, whether it's your first or third. It is all so overwhelming!
I've had a much better day today and think it's due to me not putting too many demands on myself. I have also listed the things I need to get done. Just silly things like book hair cuts for me and Ben, and change the bedding on the marital bed etc. I feel now it's listed down I can relax.
I'm trying to just enjoy Noah but also have to admit I am counting off the days ad hoping that each day gets easier.
Can I just say how massively helpful I am finding having all of you to talk to on here. It is so reasurring and I think your all fab! Xx

We all need a virtual support network to help us get through it sometimes. Whatever anyone is experiencing, someone else has already got the t-shirt! It is so helpful to be able to post here.

Pinkelephant I feel like the sofa has got a large bum-shaped dent from the amount of time I spend feeding! I'm sure the older he gets, the less often he'll want nursing!

jane - your post brought me to tears. You and your fiance are amazing for planning Zoe's memorial service. xxx

I was still in my pyjamas at 5pm today when DH came home. L refuses to sleep any where but in my arms or on my chest during the day which really limits what I can do. I am definitely feeling overwhelmed with DH back at work, find myself in tears a lot from frustration and exhaustion, and we're still struggling with breastfeeding. It doesn't help that DH gets a full nights sleep then trots off to work leaving me with a baby that won't sleep and only 4 hours of sleep myself. It seems like it'd be so easy to give him more formula and have a break but that won't help my supply problem. I'm going to try to stick it out until 6 weeks (3 more weeks) and see how things are. If things haven't improved, at least I know I spent 4 weeks really trying to increase my milk supply.

L acts quite sleepy during the day, will fall asleep in my arms or while feeding, but a few minutes after I put him down, he wakes up screaming. If I put him down awake, he's happy for 5 minutes then starts fussing. Any ideas on how to get him to sleep during the day (so I can have some sleep too)?

americanexpat will he go to sleep in a pram, for an hour or so, give you a chance to get your head down for a while. Sorry to post and run but Anna is screaming politely mewling for food Wishing everyone better sleeps!!

expat you could try putting him in a sling if next to you is the happiest he is, then you can get more stuff done. Plus that way he is likely to fall asleep and you could put your head back for 5 mins on the sofa without worrying about him falling out of your arms. Have you tried hand expressing the other breast while you are feeding? You could collect a few drops and it stimulates the supply as well. Well done for trying to increase your supply - it is hard work!

He'll only sleep in the pram if it's moving - maybe I can sleepwalk? I have taken to having a nap in bed with him on my chest, but he doesn't wake up for feeding when he's so cosy.

I have been getting a lot of RL help with the BF issues. I had an appointment Friday and another one this Friday with the breastfeeding clinic, and we're trying a few different things - fenugreek, breastshields, feeding from both sides at every feed, improving my diet. I'm just feeling really low and negative about it right now.

Can some of the FF ladies remind me that it's not all kittens and sunshine? I feel like it would be so much easier and solve all my problems but I'm sure that's not the case.

well its expensive-9 pound a tin,its a hassle,wash bottles sterilise them boil kettle let it cool then make it up in a certain way cant store it,have to run round like a headless chicken in the night when tired,when i go out i take bottles,powder and a flask of hot water as well as all the other shite.
That enough for you? Seriously,stick with it if you want but dont make yourself miserable over it.

It can be difficult, expat, but once you've cracked it (pardon the pun) it can be so convenient just to hoik up your t-shirt and let them nurse straight away! Diet is really important as you need to keep your strength up.

also exp dd is the same asa your ds,wont go down all flippin day,i cant eat or do anything much and cant go out much as she wont be put down even in a moving pram,carseat or sling.It is cos of her reflux to be fair to her but a huge tie none the less.Try to see this time as precious and temporary,you will never get it back so try and get a tiny bit of enjoyment from it,dd had a cuddle tonight without squirming and grimacing,she just led there looking at me,this was the first time since she was born,i dont know if the meds just kicked in or what but i will never forget it

Agree with ledkr. Enjoying your baby is far more important than how you feed him. I'm no breast-feeding militant btw, I find it painful on the left and according to the lactation consultant, I don't have wet t-shirt winning nipples. (I'm aware of that, just want to feed my baby ) You are doing a great job as his mum.

That's lovely about D ledkr.

Grrrrr cannot believe posting so serenely only a few hrs ago,does anyone else sometimes think they are married to a child?
Tonight dh sat on arse whilst i got the bedtime bottles ready.I said "dont forget the heating" as i went up,he then came to bed and i said did you do heating,no he replied and went down 2 flights to turn it off.FF to 1.30 when D inexplicably wakes up,first he gets up and picks her up-clearly he isnt going to be able to do anything else now!I stay "asleep" and listen.He then goes out on the brightly lit landing (remember the lovely routine i have her in)to make a bottle and draw her meds into a syringe all one handed i then get up and say dont be stipid she'll be up all night and do it myself.He then gets into bed with her to feed her of course forgetting her blanket and muslin so i get that.I then discover that the heating is still on!!??? Down 3 flights to put it off.I get back into bed saying id have rather done it myself.He then goes into the en suite with baby and i figure hes cooling bottle down a bit more altho i did do it,i then hear the toilet flush and yes you've guessed it,he had peed whilst holding our new born daughter.Is it just me arrrrrgh.I have had to come downstairs as i cant be near him at the moment,i sometimes think he has a problem.I had to tell him 3 times after D born not to put the powder in first when making a bottle,he just kept doing it.
Sorry for rant i just had to share and didnt want him slated on aibu

ledkr without wanting to make you feel bad... my DH has NEVER changed S's nappy, he gets angry if she cries for more than a minute, and will hold her whilst I go for a wee then give her straight back. Yesterday we went to Sainsburys (BLOODY FORTUNE but that's another thread), got back at 5, had to feed S who was screaming, then put the shopping away, then cook dinner for all of us and my mum and dad (mum has cancer, I look after her), all the while looking after DD1 who has a monstrous cold. I had S in the sling wailing whilst I chopped and DD on a stool next to me 'helping' and wailing on and off. He just sat there on his computer. He was rubbish when I was pg and I said he'd be better now, he isn't. just feel lucky I have an obliging baby (she fell asleep in the sling after 5 minutes and slept all through dinner).

Sorry, long ranty post!

I also can't put S down awake, it bothers me because I do think rod...back... but she will get it when she's a bit older. She will fall asleep in the sling or whilst feeding and I can put her in her moses basket after 10 minutes or so to make sure she's properly off. She sleeps in the living room with her big sister zooming around shouting and tucking her in and kissing her on and off!

Morning all, what a crap night for you ledkr. I fully understand your frustration, why bother doing something if you're not going to do it properly - its not helping its making more work for you! If it makes you feel any better my dp can't even work the boiler for the heating so I always have to do it When he asks how to work it I tell him to read the instructions like I did!

deb am actually feeling very angry on your behalf. I don't want to slag off your dh but he has never changed her nappy?! And at him leaving you to cook etc. Wouldn't know what to suggest but if it helps then do keep ranting posting about it on here!

expat Just wanted to say well done with the bf - I can second what ledkr said about ff - constant washing up, planning ahead and the cost - if it helps a friend of mine was determined to bf but found it really difficult until it all fell into place around 6 weeks. She had a lot of support from bf counsellors etc but said it was much harder than she expected and it really got her down. Good luck :)

Well dp is off to work today - eek!

Oh, and I thought I would share dd's name - she is called Anya - I felt a bit weird about it at first (paranoid maybe?! ) but wanted to share as you all have :)

deb and on your behalf,was it you who posted about him when you were pg?Sorry i cant remember That is shocking,was he brought up in that kind of sexist family? My ex never did a night feed for all 4 of our dcs but he did do housework and nappies-oh yeah and have affairs

Do you think you will ever put your foot down? Or do you just like a quiet life,have you asked him if he will be happy for dd's to have hubbys like him?
Sorry im off on one.Maybe you should post in relationhips and let the likes on dittany and peterandre sort him out.
Anya is lovely ponyo xx

Hello girls

I have been lurking but everytime I go to post there is another page to read!

Jane still thinking of you, your post made me cry, you are being so brave.

expat have you tried fennel tea? It's supposed to increase milk supply - make sure you drink plenty of fluids to help supply. Good on you for persevering

debka you must be superwoman - that's all I can say.

Mikey doesn't like to sleep anywhere but in soneones arms, preferably me or dh. He is asleep at the mo in his travel cot in the lounge though but won't last long. We had a bad night last night as ds 1 got in our bed so there were 4 of us - I have a stinking cold that have had for a month and can't shift. Think it's actually a chest infection. Sinuses are agony and was shivering in bed. So dreading dh going back to work on thurs... He has been fantastic but am still having massive bleeds if I do too much but how can I stop that when I have 3 kids age 4 and under!!? Gonna be a wake up call.

So, anyone know if you can take happy pills when bfing? Am trying to be brave but not sure i can get through this without help. I didn't admit to it first time round but had terrible Pnd - probably because have kept depression a secret since early 20's and it was exacerbated by
Motherhood. Don't want my boys to suffer because I am too proud to get help [grimacing emoticon]

Anya is a beautiful name by the way! I love it, great choice ponyo

Sorry I haven't replied to everyone, can't remember who said what now!

40 I'm sure there are some kind of happy pills you can take when bfing (not sure which ones though...). Sounds like you need a trip to the GPs as that coldy thing sounds nasty.

I honestly don't know how single mothers/those with other DC cope - I'm struggling and it's just me and DH and turtle and DH is being so good. I had a bit of a mini meltdown last night (think it was lack of sleep getting to me) - the tiredness honestly feels like torture sometimes

debka am feeling very at your DHs behaviour.

I have my mum over helping me this week thank goodness and she is upstairs cleaning the bathroom for me

wiggles how long till the bridezilla wedding is it now?

Hi all, we have arranged Zoe's funeral for Friday at 11.15am. I really dont know how i will get thrugh it but i have to for my baby. The past few days have been unbearable, i just want to scream and shout. I miss my little Zoe so much, we have moments where we think its just a horrible nightmare and that it will be ok when we wake.

Today we are dropping off music to the funeral home we chose "lullaby" by Billy Joel, "first time ever i saw your face" Johnny Cash and "Zoe's song" by a german band called Vaden.
We then have to go shopping for clothes for ourselves for the service, we are both wearing something pink (first time for both of us!) and have asked for the guests not to wear black.

I m sorry a few of you are having a hard time with babies and hormones but you will get there!
ponyo Anya is such a beautiful name.

40weeks get down to GP/Mental health team now and come up with a plan (not sure about medication) but they will be able to advise you. You've been through it before - can see the early warning signs etc, which is always a really good sign. Being ill with the cold/flu etc will not help, Mr Wiggles has had a cough for about 10 days (I have not been overly sympathetic he got an appt with GP, cue much eye rolling from me. GP put him on antibiotics right away, beginnings of bad chest infection!! Depression is not a shameful secret and you are doing really well at the minute considering your options, realising your might need some additional help. Please contact GP and see about medication - you need to be well in order to enjoy your beautiful family xxxxx And please see about the bleeding again, Dr Wiggles orders!!!

Ponyo Lovely name, we were thinking of Aine for a while, pronounced the same. Dd2 (3) keeps calling Anna "wee Anna" which sounds like Rhianna in her little girl voice which is driving Mr Wiggles mad, its very funny

Ledkr seriously not sure how you didn't slap dh, its so annoying when you are trying to get a well deserved rest and other half fucks it up annoys you.

Oh Jane I am so sorry, I really shouldn't be moaning when I think of what you are going through. I will definitely be thinking of you on Friday at that time as will be on my way to my friends mums funeral, so a sad day all round but especially for you as no mother should ever have to go through what you are going through. The only thing I can think of that might help is that one day you will hold your own baby in your arms, and without Zoe, that little baby might not have come into the world. I don't know if that's consoling or not but I can't bear the thought of the torment you must be going through, and I don't even know you in RL

Jane am going to nip in and light a candle for Zoe on Friday morning, will do it at 10 mass, say a prayer to help you get through the day. Thanks for letting us know, we will all be with you and your fiance on Friday and for as long as you need us, scream and shout if it helps. Don't know if its too soon or if you don't fancy it but there's a fab group of parents on the bereavement thread (under body and soul topic) You know me I can't do links, too old!!

snowangels Royal wedding sisters wedding is 3 weeks today, have outfit, girls outfits all organised, booked hairdressers appts today, so getting there. She is being ok but getting a bit nervous herself, my mum is deffo being a tad bridezillaish but suppose its to be expected

Looking forward to it, really happy for her but too be honest, can't wait for it to be over as well, bit stressful, getting 5 and 3 year old organised as flowergirls etc and hoping Anna doesn't hit 6 weeks old and decide its crying/colic time!!

jane im glad its all organised and i will also be lighting a candle for Zoe and saying a prayer for you all,cannot imagine how you are still breathing,you are very brave.

Ladies shall we wear pink on friday for Zoe?

Jane thanks for letting us know about the funeral and how you are getting on. you are so brave to keep posting here. I think the teddy is a lovely idea and think it is so important to create these memories of Zoe for you and your DF. I know Friday will be really tough, I will be thinking of you and I like Ledkrs idea of wearing pink.

I hope everyone else is ok, it is a roller coaster ride at the minute isn't it. 40weeks thoughts are particularly with you too. When the sun comes out I feel so much better- its not long til Easter now!

Hi Jane and thank you for letting us know about Friday. I like ledkrs idea and will be digging around in my wardrobe for something pink to wear! I can't imagine how it is going to be for you, but you and your dp will be in my thoughts and I hope you are looking after each other and yourselves. Sending lots of love your way xxx

Keeping this short b'cos its been a bit of a shock to the system today - I have literally spent all day holding dd and as soon as I put her down she cries - I agree angels how on earth do single parents do it?! And you parents with other children too?! expat if it helps it has been a nightmare trying to get time to just make up bottles of formula today!

Right dd has started making a noise again, I have read all the posts just don't have time to respond sorry, but 40weeks just wanted to say I think you are brave for asking for help and hope you get the help you need - no need to put a brave face on! xx