February 2011 - still some left to pop, surely not...

[ZeroMinusZero]

Took it upon myself to start a new thread. Everyone's popping right now!

PS: Sorry for the awful rhyme, it was all I could think of

I should clarify that we're topping up with formula already so we have the worst of both BF and FF. I shall press on though but not be so hard on myself when he does have formula. I've been stretching the time between bottles which means he BFs almost constantly in between.

debka - I am at your partner on your behalf. It's not much different than being a single parent if he's not helping.

DH was a complete arse during night. Usually, I BF the baby for about an hour then pass him to DH for a bottle then he puts him to bed. Apparently, DH couldn't feed him last night because he had to get up early today. He regularly gets a full nights sleep because he can sleep through the baby crying next to his head, sleeps through me BFing, admits he needs much less sleep than I do (I turn into an emotional mess). AIBU to ask him to take 30 minutes during the night to give me a break?

jane I continue to think of you every day and feel real upset for you as if I knew you in RL. I will definately be wearing pink on Friday and shall put turtle in all pink in memory of Zoe too. It really must feel like a living nightmare to you right now and you must feel in such a daze through everything.

wiggles the way you are bigging up the royal wedding I'm imagining a big gypsy wedding style affair now with Jordan-style carriage and lit up wedding dress

angels I wish it was a big gypsy type wedding, no its worse than that, its a small (well 50) City Hall service with a meal,dancing at city centre hotel!! I think a big wedding can be easier as you can hide, anything that goes wrong can be hidden etc but this is a small classy affair , obviously she doesnot know her nieces very well

My sister is fab, but she has an eye for detail that would put the CIA to shame, she will notice anything and I mean anything that is not absolutely perfect, she gets that from our mother so the two of them together [shudder]. My dad and I are seriously considering forcing sister and bil onto a plane bound for Vegas!!

expat what a pain in the arse, you still have to do all the washing, sterilizing, boiling the kettle as well then - poor you. And I think you know this but of course yanbu - what was your dh thinking last night? Hope you tell him how you feel and he sorts it out for tonight.

I am going to order a sling now - am thinking sleepywrap after reading reviews on here - I need my hands free during the day so willing to try anything!

Jane thinking of in the lead up to and Friday. We are all standing holding your hand.

Will be wearing pink on Friday and Archie's big sis Imogen will on his behalf. X

jane you are an amazing mother and will be thinking about you on Friday.

Ponyo Anya is a beautiful name.

40weeks I had PND with ds1 but didn't admit it till he was 5 months old. At that point the GP prescribed me anti-Ds that deliberately didn't mix with bfing as she felt I needed a break. I'm sure that there is medication that is compatible though. Good on you for admitting it - that is the first step to feeling better.

debka unless your dh was working on the computer he needs to step up and help you. FGS don't post in AIBU though, they'll hang, draw and quarter him! There must be something in the water as expat and ledkr's dhs weren't great last night either.

wiggles your dsis' wedding sounds lovely, but stressful for you.

Hope everyone is having a stress-free evening, as much as it can be.

jane i keep thinking of you and your dh, i can't imagine what what you're going through but we will all be with you on friday. sending you lots of love. i'll find something pink to wear as well.

ponyo i bought a sling and it is really good but i need to feel more confident with it before i trust myself to do things like hang the washing out whilst wearing it.

wiggles wow, you have your hands full! you are obviously wonderwoman to get all that arranged!

expat we are doing 1 ff at night and occasional ones in the day if oh or my mum has b. the faffing with bottles and sterilisers is very annoying!

debka very at your dh, maybe you could show him the general consensus about his behaviour here on mn? i thought my oh was bad until i read your post, he's still going out training (martial arts) twice a week which makes me feel like a single parent as i only see him for an hour when he pops in from work, makes a mess gets his dinner then rushes off out again for the night. he gave me so much washing the other day that i refused to do it but then got fed up with the linen basket overflowing so gave in. he is good in some ways though

40 please see your gp soon, and look after yourself, i have no idea how you're coping with all that on your plate.

oooh, knitta hasn't posted in a while, i wonder if........

expat I think I'm in similar situation to you - trying to bf but mws have got me doing top up ffs at every feed as turtle was losing weight so I have the worst of both at present and finding it so tiring both bfing and then getting all the steriliers etc etc etc sorted at every feed. I have to bf then try and pump express what I can manage,then use the expressed milk in a bottle topped up with formula to how much the mws say I need to top up. It's all so time consuming and tiring

yes, maybe at last knitta wo'nt have to wait much longer

to all the oh stories of rubbishness

Im so touched by you all wearing pink for my little Zoe. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Im sorry to hear that some of your men folk are being arses iam angry for you!

Just had some friends round for a chat it was nice to be a bit "normal".

Went shopping today for clothes for the funeral, i had to buy elasticated trousers from evans as im in between sizes just now, my maternity stuff is too big and pre preg trousers well i cant even button! I bought a nice white top and bright pink cardi do you think that is ok?

Hi Jane ur outfit sounds absolutely perfect.

I actually have an aunt who knitted Nate a pink cardi even tho she knew we were having a boy but will put it on Nate on Friday in memory of ur darling Zoe.

Jane I think that sounds lovely - nice and bright and springlike! Glad you had your friends round, you need to feel "normal", it so important to keep in contact with friends and family, it can be really tempting to want to hide away and see no-one but you need to keep in touch with people that love you, you will need them xx

Thank you girls for your lovely messages, it's so reassuring andfewlbetter for gettIng things off my chest. Dh doesn't like the idea of medication but it's got to that point where I don't care! Have been doing a little research online re meds when bfing, will go see gp. I am totally besotted with Mikey though which is why I think it's more just general depression rather than just Pnd. Can't get enough of him.

I think the idea of wearing pink on Friday is great; and your outfit sounds perfect Jane. We will all be with you in spirit and hope there is some comfort for you knowing that we will all be doing something together to mark the impact your little girl made on the world. X

jane i too will be wearing pink on friday...what a lovely idea. And yes your outfit sounds lovely.

I have never met you, don't really know anything about you jane but i really look up to you and your courage and strength. Your absolutely incredible.

Will be thinking of you and your family and of course little Zoe x x x

Thanks for all your faces at DH!! I'm not going to post anywhere else about him, as I believe that marriage is a commitment through better and worse, so there's no way I'd leave him. Besides I do love him, even if he is, well, rubbish. TBH I don't think he was ready for a second child. He's been awful today, he seems really resentful of the DCs, that he can't do his own thing in his own time. He works from home on the computer and the phone, although a lot some of the time he is doing his own thing. It would be 100x easier if he went out to work, at least then perhaps he'd leave it behind and be a dad when he gets home. It does make me a bit but mostly upset when he gets annoyed at the DCs disrupting his life- FGS what's it like for me? BFing every 3 hours, with limpet baby in a sling the rest of the time, plus trying to manage an extremely lively and wilful toddler (also Imogen justonemoreplease), and try and run the house.

OK rant over. For now.......

jane we'll be in pink here too on Friday for your Zoe. Your outfit sounds perfect.

Having a growth spurt here ATM God it's exhausting. Anyone else? OK, off to bed, PLEASE SLEEP LONG LITTLE BABY!!!! And DD1 please don't fall out of bed! (1st night in big girl bed, I know, I'm a glutton for punishment!!)

jane that sounds like an ideal outfit,would be nice if the sun shines for her,will be an immensly difficult day for you all,i cant even read your posts without crying,i think we all feel so helpless and so wish we could help more.It sounds lovely that you spent some time with friends,when i have had hard times my friends always make me feel so safe.Hope you sleep ok tonight/

Debka i hope we didnt offend you about your dh.I would never suggest anyone ends a marriage,i was a single Mum for yrs and its really tough,altho i have to say to everyone its easier in a way cos you just get on and do it all as there is no choice
Im sure he has his great points.Its not always as tough as it is now either as the children get older you can claim back some time to yourself.

Ponyo,Delilah wont be put down either during the day its a nightmare isnt it?I think its her reflux but then she sleeps ages at night so

She has her first paedatrician-sp-apointment tmw,i hope he will increase her meds as she is in constant discomfort.I also bought a sling today in desperation.i coulnt afford the close one so i went for a 2nd hand brightsparks one,it looks really sweet i hope it wont be long.

Dh has been ok today altho had to goad him into hoovering as my bleeding is still bad,will discuss it at my post natal check on Friday if i have any blood left

jane I second what the others have said your outfit sounds just right. How lovely that you have arranged such a special service for Zoe, I feel sure that she would be v proud of the two of you. Will be wearing pink and thinking of you on fri. From the sounds of things you have good friends around you, lean on them and let them take care of you. I don't even know you but wish I could help so can guess that your friends are desperate to make things better in any way they can.
debka hope your dh gets his act together as things sound pretty full on for you with caring for your mum as well as dcs. You sound v selfless I must say, would have snapped and gone nutso at my dp if he wasn't helping!
40 hope your gp can help and I think meds are way forward, depression is a treatable illness and anyone can suffer from it. Its just luck, nothing to do with the feelings you have for your baby, and he is lucky to have a mum who is clued up enough to seek help quickly x
Hope everyone else is ok, I'm just about to put cassia down til about 4am if prev nights are anything to go by. Here's hoping for a fab nights sleep for us all!
PS sorry in advance if this posts twice - my phone hates me!

not offended in the least, you are all my kind and lovely friends xxxx

apart from that ledkr she's well 'ard

Re slings I have just ordered a ring sling off eBay for £20 - you are supposed to be able to use them while bfing which should help keep hands free. Will let you know how I get on with it. They have loads of nice colours too. I have a baby bjorn already that was my sisters but can't BF in that

Re slings I have just ordered a ring sling off eBay for £20 - you are supposed to be able to use them while bfing which should help keep hands free. Will let you know how I get on with it. They have loads of nice colours too. I have a baby bjorn already that was my sisters but can't BF in that

Sorry for double post, seems my phone hates me too!

Ledkr hope Ds appt today goes well, how are you doing 40weeks

Just back from M&S, they have a sneaky sale on, not sure if its nationwide or just here but they have quite a few baby bits reduced. Note to self must stop buying clothes for Anna, she has more clothes than me. I'm very lucky I have got so many presents for her, all my mum's friends buy for babies, a lot of them aren't grannys yet so they use any excuse to go baby shopping and I am a very grateful receipient.

Anna and I are meeting my best friend for lunch today, really looking forward to a catch up. Anna still feeding and sleeping well but to be honest I am going to boast about dd2 - she for the past three nights has went to bed herself, well I've tucked her in and left her awake, she has fallen asleep in about 10 mins. I know she should be doing this anyway, but this is the amazing non-sleeping child we are talking about So proud of her, may have overcompensated and bought her the noisest book ever in M&S - didn't really think that through, she's a big fan of books that make noise!!!!

Oh look at my "me, me, me" post

Will join you in the me me me wiggles- DD1 slept the night in her Big Girl Bed for the first time- had to restrain myself from going in to check on her! And S slept 8-2. And DH JUST CLEANED THE OVEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!