Feb babies 2011 - We may not be glowing but we're definitely growing!

[Wanderingsheep]

The old thread was getting quite full so I took the liberty of starting a new one, I hope nobody minds! I thought I'd keep in with our glowing and growing theme (I'm not very creative, sorry).

Thanks prof. It does seem strange but i have worked for social services for 20 yrs so dont think he can get me the push (no previous warnings or issues)You did make me think that with me feelinmg so bad atm i could be pushed into acting in a way i normally wouldnt. I rushed form the room in ters yesterday and i hate people who do that.

The thing with the 8 hrs as opposed to the 7.5 is that even if i take a paid break which i aggree i will have to, i will still be working for 8 hrs and he is saying it only counts as 7.5 when you pro rata it for the full timers. But i am not full time so how can that apply. I am waiting for hr to get back to me but i cant stop crying. I am worried cos i am never like this.

He's treating 0.5 hour of it as unpaid overtime, AFAICS. If you do end up having to work 3.5 hours on the third day, you should be starting at 9.30 rather than 9. I would hope that HR will put him straight on that at least.

Yes i hope so. That alone makes me feel better. You know you start to convince yourself its you?
I could be signed off with spd but i am reluctant to do this as i like my job and actually going to work as it makes time pass and also will be off for along time on mat leave too. Unsure at the mo. Will speak to hr and see. I want to go and speak to him but would need support as i am just so down. Can hr do this do you know.Thanks again. Nobody is in and i cant stop thinking about it.

Are you in the union?

oh ledkr so sorry you'tr going through this - it's the last thing you need. Agree with prof - ACAS will be able to help you with where you stand legally and once you know this you'll have a better idea as to what to do. Would it be an option to work your hours as say every afternoon taking no breaks (4/5 hours in the afternoon every day)? Then you wouldn't have the need to have to have a break - how can they expect you to take a break with no where to go - you'll only end out working through it. I know you were considering getting signed off anyway with your SPD etc probs, maybe if they are trying to stress you out it would just be better to do that and stay at home not moving very much (especially as you said a while ago your office was moving further away). As people keep sayingto me, the next few months in the grand scheme of your life are nothing. If you need to have another meeting with your manager have you got any colluegues that could come in the meeting with you for moral support/make it a bit less stressful for you/help you get your opinion across if you get upset? Or is there another manager you can go talk to who might be far more reasonable and make everything get sorted easily and quickly (bit like I did at work)? It's probably best to know exactly what your rights are and sort this out with work as soon as poss (in my view) as festering with it will make you so anxious. Thinking of you. x

ledkr there's also a talk on mn somewhere you can post work issues etc and people there seem to know quite a bit and v helpful. I forget the name but sure prof will know.

Grr - don't get me started about part timers having more duties pro rata and getting less paid as I have to be very careful at school not to do too much as they try to take the mickey - I love my job too and I think they try to get as much from me for as little paid time as possible - it gets to the point where I have to draw the line.

I am in unison but they not that good but i didnt want to make such a big issue out of it just yet iykwim.
I dont really think its fair to involve other people but my sister is in hr and i may take her if i am allowed, I think he needs to know what he has done.Worried enough to force me take a brake and not get paid but not so worried he can make me feel like crap when pg.
I may suggest mornings yes good idea. If i do afternoons i will have to provide child care evry day instead of just 2

ledkr it could be that he hasn't realised how much this has upset you and he may just have communicated himself badly, in which case it could be that he will be very apologetic when he finds out and bend over to help you when he discovers this. How's other pg lady getting treated with having lots of time off etc?

Actually, my other thought was that he's had a word with her about her generally taking the piss and she's come back with "well, ledkr does x and y and z..." which would tie in with the "how you THINK you get on with people at work" comment, too. Although not with his saying he didn't really have a vacancy for you (if that's true then he's probably been simmering with resentment for months, but it's not your fault and it's not as though you haven't been doing work so clearly he had enough work for you to do even if he "didn't have a vacancy")

Ledkr thinking of you, I have had some really shit times over the past 6 weeks or so with work, mainly over annual leave accrued, when I am finishing etc, I work 19 hrs a week and its been a nightmare. I agree with Prof (her being the font of most knowledge ) that your pregnant colleague may have inadvertently or not stirred it a little. Write everything that has happened down, put it away, even if you don't need it now, keep it safe. I wouldn't speak to your manager, phone/fax, e-mail HR, with your concerns, ask them to advise you of best way forward, make sure they write it down (e-mail).

It doesn't matter if your boss doesn't realise how much this has upset you, he should do it's his responsibility. For better more detailed help, post in Employment issues, Ribenaberry is really helpful.

Let us know how you're feeling later, come and share a sneaky virtual cig bottle of wine xx

Gonna go back for bit then get signed off with spd. I am unable to walk far seeing physio 2 x weekly and am wearing tubi grip on my hips. I am 43 with a precious and unexpected baby which took 4 yrs to concieve. Why the hell am i being a martyr?

When we move to new premises it involves a 45 min drive on busy motorway and hot desking so prob no pc or desk by the time i get there and i dont even want to go back to that job either.Sod it.

So weird that you picked up on the pg colleague as she was told off about her sickness on Monday so she probably had a dig at me although God knows what about cos ive not done anything.She was suspiciously nice to me when i was upset too. My mum and dh thought it too.

I will return on monday and work very quietly for my instructed time despite the fact that everyone else isn't. I shall take my enforced lunch at my desk with a large broadsheet open over my face and ignore the phones.

I shall then leave bang on 5 and no more late night and weekends for me.I have 24 wk appointment Friday so wil get my mat b 1 and inform him of my pregnancy and intention to go on leave.

Thankyou everyone. I appear to have got my mojo back now.
My new uggs have come-heaven-and my best friend has just had her baby Kiki 7lb13oz so i am off to purchase goodies for them both.

Bear in mind, ledkr, that he didn't have a vacancy for you, so clearly there can't be a need for you to work weekends or evenings or stay until one minute past five.

ledkr glad you're feeling more positive now. I'm envious of the uggs as I eyed some in a shop the other day thinking how blissfuly comfy (and potentially easy to get on.off) they will be when we get big.

Btw I know someone (prof??) mentioned that you should have had a risk assessment done at work as you're pg - and hopefully they should take your spd into account with this - would they get you a ball to sit on when you're at your desk? Might this help a bit with spd? My physio has got me to buy one and it arrived today and it's great to sit on (and I got it for a bargain £1.20 from ebay). Also, at my work when I had back problems with a slipped disc last year they offered to get me on of these balls to sit on in my teaching room when using the computers to help me out (I declined as the floor in my room can get a bit messy with dropped food as students cook and I didn't fancy having to clean a ball all the time or risk getting food all over my bum ).

Btw I don't think I'd trust pg colluegue one bit. You attitude is great though - if you do everything as they ask to the letter they can complain about nothing and it shows you are the better person.

can i just say thankyou for the support today. I really would have found it har dot get through the day without it as nobody was about to talk to. I am a bit worried about my mind at the moment i feel very unpredictable and quite anxious and everthing feels such abig deal.I remember knitta was a bit like it a while back so am hoping it will pass. I remember being fairly emptional when was pg with dd. The other day i felt happy and elated so am hoping its not some sort of manic/depression.
See now i am being irrational about that too

Glad you're feeling stronger/more positive Ledkr. No more martyr complex, its usually me that suffers from that, no pun intended. Take care.

I don't have anything clever to add what others have already said but I do want to send you positive vibes, ledkr:)

thanks zero. I am feeling calm and focussed and not as upset. Only had 3 hrs sleep last night so will prob feel better tomorrow.
What a lucky lot we are to have this thread its got lots of us through some hard times and good of course.

ledkr just wanted to say that I am absolutely fuming on your behalf. There's nothing like dedicating yourself fully to a business for years and years to have it all thrown back in your face by a prick of a boss.

My sister had a similar situation during her last pregnancy and had fantastic support from her union - they gave loads of good advice and were really lovely to her when she called them in tears - if you are paying for them there's no harm in seeing what support they can give you.

In my last pregnancy I negotiated reduced hours but on full pay when I told them that my GP had suggested signing me off for my SPD - at least they got a bit of me for their money! Not sure how I'll end up this time, but if I need to be signed off I will be signed off fully, as I was the martyr last time, and didn't get any thanks for it.

Aww, Ledkr I'm sorry that you're having to deal with this when it's the last thing that you need. I have no advice and nothing clever to add but your boss is a twat!

ledkr just wanted to say I'm sorry your having this needless added stress at a time when you really could do without!!

I hope it will all pale into just a vague, distant bad memory once your beautiful little baby arrives :)

Ledkr, just read your whole thread on this, what a prick your boss is. I'm glad you've got your mojo back, that's more the Ledkr we know! You've been given some great advice & I have nothing to add but I'm thinking of you. Kick ass! x

I hope you get a good night's sleep ledkr and feel more like your old self tomorrow. Don't let your boss bully you into thinking differently of yourself and find out your rights from your union or CAB. Good luck!

Morning all!
Sorry to hear about your work trials, ledkr it is horrible to feel unappreciated. At least your clients seem to love you and the work you do for them (the important ones).

If anyone needs to get any more broody, I can recommend watching Babies which is a gorgeous film about the first year in the lives of four very different babies. What struck me most was not the differences (between babies raised in Namibia and Tokyo, San Francisco and Mongolia) but the similarities. Just shows that how every many books or baby yoga classes, cockerels in your bed or eating dirt you do, most babies laugh, cry and walk at around the same time. It is a documentary, and has no commentary really, but it is beautifully shot and even my DP enjoyed it (don't tell anyone I told you that).

byron that fim sounds fab - I excitedly put it on my love film account to be told it's not currently released with no known release date (according to love film anyway), must be the lucky Greeks who get to see that one before us here in chilly UK. I did see a very sweet documentary a few years ago about life in a rural french primary school with only one class and teacher in the whole school. Think it was called 'etre et avoir'. Quite slow in pace but very sweet.

Hope all are feeling OK this morning. Got ANOTHER hospital appointment this morning .

Shame... or the lucky Greeks have fewer downloading laws (haven't really caught up with the whole internet thing yet!) and so....
Anyway, enough lawbreaking for one day - look out of it, it's lovely :)
I saw that french film too, it's sweet and made me nostalgic for a time when teachers were teachers not administrators & etc & etc.