July 2010: The end is nigh... To antenatal we say goodbye!

[stac14]

We're all nearly at the end so here is our last antenatal thread

mlic and jojo yeah I try and get out most days, I hate being stuck indoors too.
I took him out yesterday I went shopping with a friend and he slept the whole time (about 4 hours) do you think this would affect how he sleeps at night or does it make no difference at this age?

Ive tried co-sleeping and it doesnt really work for us. Also Ive read not to do this if you/partner smoke and DP does so bit concerned about that.

He generally only sleeps for lengthy periods when hes been in the car or hes lying on me. He never goes into a deep sleep at night.

jojo it probably will go away naturaly as its an immature digestive system that causes reflux, i would have left it but hv said the gaviscon would make life easier for rileigh so we're using it to see how she goes. The doc described it as heartburn which i had loads of in pregnancy so didnt want her to have that lol

dh rileighs a grunter to, and after she wakes for a feed at 3.30 tends not to relax well. We found taking her out in the evening for a walk helped but when we went to the park we sat and brought her out of the pram, she had a great night after that. Try dylan in his own room and see how you feel, as everyone says keep talking. Have you considered mixed feeding?

mlic i know what you mean bout feeling different this time, i was terrible with ds but it seems different with dd. Its other peoples feelings bout my pnd that drives me mad lol

Hopefully you dont have to go back into hospital gracie, could they not just assist you at home especially since ds is struggling?

memphis how are you feeling? My hv is keeping up visits till about 8wks due to previous pnd but she is with us till rileighs 5. Is dh still grounded? Dp was trying to go out tonight so i put my foot down, he's can wait for a night out as i've had none either

Hope munchkin is ok, wondering bout the other girls on the pending list hope theres some more babies born x

thanks for all the info and help stac. went to the chemist and talked to the pharmasist today. he reckons its reflux.so he's givin me gaviscon to put in her bottle and also dentinox drops as she's stil hard to get her wind up. so hoping they do something because i really dont like seeing her in pain!
dh i'd definately be trying him in his own room. i know it'll be hard for you but it'l make for a happier mummy and baby in the long run. also think you should try expressing or mixed feeding for the evening/night time. its so hard to know whats the right thing to do. ellie is very noisy sleeper too and i find it hard to sleep with the noise of her so i can knid of sympathise with you on that front.
munchkin good luck!
gracie hopefully a hospital stay wont be needed! poor ds! hopefully he gets used to the new addition soon...
sorry if i've forgotten anybody!brain not functioning properly today!
well we're just back from town. got a new pair of shoes for my first night out which is tomorrow night! mum coming up tomorrow to stay the night so she's going to babysit for us. dp going out with his work mates for one of their birthday and im going out with my friends and we'll meet up later in the night. cant wait for a drink and a dance!yay!although i had a bottle of beer from the fridge last night and half way through it i was feeling tipsy so i'll have to take it very easy!

gracie I'm soooo with you on your trouble with your DS. DD broke down yesterday and just wanted me to cuddle her but Sam is constantly feeding so she stood next to me crying, I was crying and it was miserable. She's been really sad the last couple of days, not jolly and gorgeous like she usually is. DH pointed out though that I went away for 3 days, came back and now I don't pick her up/change her nappy/settle her at night/get her up in the mornings/put her in her highchair/take her to the park. It's like she's been pushed to the side so this little screaming thing can feed all day long. This is the main reason we were trying to avoid a cs - I can't stand not being able to scoop her up and cuddle her. I just want to get these first few weeks over with.

dh I know how you feel, Sam feeds almost constantly at night and won't sleep unless he's on me or lying right next to me with my arm around him. DH is sleeping downstairs at the mo cos he's not got paternity leave and needs to sleep so I'm getting about 3.5 broken hours sleep a night. Even during the day it's very difficult to get Sam to sleep anywhere other than on me, it's very wearing and he's only a week old! I'm ok with co-sleeping for a bit but I've got thrush and it's agony when he latches on so no chance of sleeping while he feeds...

Good luck munchkin!

We're going to try him in his own room tonight and see how that goes.
I know I need more sleep, I cant function at the mo its actually making me feel ill but its going to be so hard not having him right next to me where I can see him.
DP said if I really dont like it or it doesnt make a difference to how much hes waking/making a noise he'll bring him back into our room.

Hope things are/were going well for munchkin cant wait to hear from her.

Ds is 2.5yo. Fortunately we knew we were having a section, and with bad hip/spd I haven't been lifting him for ages, so that's not changed too much.

It has been tough though, his fish died the day Elle was born, and moving house as well, it's all just been too much for him. He also asked me when Elle's mummy and daddy were coming to pick her up it seems he hadn't understood that we would be her mummy and daddy too. And he keeps asking when we go home.

Is anyone else sufferin swollen feet/ankles? Mine were bad on/off during pregnancy, but last few days have been getting much worse. Even my calves feel swollen now, and I can't kneel properly because they are too fat. What's going on? Should I mention it to MW on Monday?

gracie defo mention it, are you wearing support stockings? Mine were causing swollen ankles but i wasnt in pain or struggling to kneel so think you should say. With ds a lots went on in a short space of time he will adjust hun it'l just take time. Are you involving him in helping with dd? Silly things like fetching nappies etc and getting lots of praise for helping his baby sister. Hope he settles soon, same for you with dd chulita could your dd not lie on the bed beside you for snuggles and time with you and the baby

mlic well done on tandem settling, have you had a nice evening?

kk hope your having a great night out, i want a drink but may have to wait for my birthday in a fortnight x

dh I know a lot of daytime sleep doesn't affect the nights, but I never allow my children to sleep between 5pm and 7pm and I'm sure this helps them to fall into a deeper sleep at night. It does take a little planning (no car journeys or walks in the buggy durin this two hour slot!) and you basically have to give the littlest one you constant full attention to keep them ineterested and awake, but I find a bath around 6pm helps!

Also I feed at 5 and again at 6.30 (one boob at 5 and other at 6.30) so that takes ups some of the time.

Also, because both my kids were cs, we do place towels under one end of the mattress to raise it. They still have mucous in their airways to clear that can make them sniffly when lying flat and keep them awake.

Hope this helps

mlic dd doesn't seem too fussed about helping, she just wants cuddles. dh should be getting paternity in 3 weeks' time but then we'll be moving so that'll throw dd off all over again. I just keep saying that by christmas it'll all have settled down... I might try asking her to wipe Sam's bum though, she's obsessed with the cotton balls And man alive, girls are soooo much easier to clean than boys - Sam's nappies are a nightmare!

gracie I was given support stockings that made a big difference, I wore them for about 5 days but my legs are fine now. I've got my wedding ring back on too which is lovely!

Anyone else desperate for more than 1.5 hrs sleep at a time?

Hope last night went better dh!

Last night was crap as well. He slept no better in his own room and I could still hear all his noises so DP brought him back into our room.
I think he may have slept for about an hour on his own and was then either moaning or sleeping on me.
Hes been fine since the sun came up and has been sleeping on the sofa so Ive been trying to catch up on some sleep.

Our only other option left is to try a dummy now. Im going to take him to see the HV on Tues at the drop in clinic and see what she says.

I literally cant go on like this Im really making myself ill with the lack of sleep.

I hope all you ladies are having better times of it, guess after such a good labour Ive got a difficult baby!

dh i think a dummy could be a good option i was adamant i wasnt going to use one but he just wanted comfort and i refuse to hold him all the time as then he will be stuck to me constantly and the dummy has really worked, took a few days to get him used to it, our hv praised the facy we used it as she said it wasnt hunger he just wanted comfort.
stac yes dh is still grounded, im going out bingo on tuesday he thinks then were even eventhough i will only have a coke and will be back by 9!!! he is taking me out on friday for a meal as all the way through pregnancy ive wanted a rare steak, although i think he thinks he on a promise as its a date night!! hmmm think again mister!! im feeling a lot more positive hv has said i can go to them anytime up to him being 5 its just nice shes making effort to come out to me, and didnt make me feel stupid

memphis yeah thats what I think too, he was feeding late last night but was doing little sucks and no swallowing and drifted off to sleep (only to wake and start grunting when i tried to put him down grr!)

DH my DD used a dummy from 3 months I think until her 3rd birthday! It saved us on so many occasions. She just stopped using it when she was ready herself (with some support and pointing in the right direction of course). I know some will think 3 years is long, but since it comforted her we did not see a problem with it. And I know people introduce them and take them before the 1st birthday too. I'd definitely recommend it.

Not sure about using one with Frank as he is much more laid back and does not require being carried all of the time. [fingers crossed he stays this way emoticon]. But I am opened minded if will use it if I find it helps.

mlic no we've got the dummies now I meant take him to the clinic on Tues to see what HV says about him not sleeping at night and his constant grunting.

I can guarantee he'll be just as bad tonight so will start the dummy tonight and just pray really hard it doesnt confuse things for him.

Morning all.

DesperateHousewife, I'm sorry to hear things aren't going well at present. I'm no expert at all, with my grand total of just over 3 weeks experience, but I can offer a few suggestions of things that I've found help settle Mindy.

She's big enough now to use one of the little sleeping/gro bags for overnight. I put it on her before her last feed, so she's all nice and cozy. She tends to fall asleep during the feed, then stays asleep once I put her into the moses basket. I guess because she's still all snuggly and warm, not being put onto a cool sheet. Then unless she needs changing, I don't tend to remove her from the sleeping bag during the night time feeds.

Also, I tried singing her to sleep one time but she just got more awake and watched me in fascination. I shifted to humming the songs and she fell straight asleep! I guess maybe having the song as a vibration when cuddled close was more soothing? Possibly sounds more like it did when I used to sing when she was in the womb.

Not something I use myself, as I seem to be able to sleep through Mindy snorting on one side and my DH snoring on the other , but maybe you could try earplugs? They might block out some of the grunty noises, but I doubt they'd block the noise if he starts to really insist on food. Besides, your DP will likely wake up if Dylan does start squalling for food and can nudge you awake.

Things are still going fine for me, I can't believe how lucky I'm being so far. I'm sure everything will even out in the toddler/teenage years. Either that or when we get around to child number 2 I'll end up with the spawn of Satan or something.

Only thing I can really complain about is that the little Milk Monster seems to feed every hour during the day at present, so I'm pretty much glued to her during waking hours! Makes it a bit tricky to time going out places. She does still sleep well at night though.

I have lovely friends who are coming over to see me a lot and don't mind me feeding while chatting with them or playing board games. And my DH is being an absolute star at keeping the house running. I can hear him downstairs at the moment running the hoover around!

The books assure me the situation improves at 6 weeks, that babies go longer between meals at that point. Keeping my fingers crossed the books are right as I'm getting bored of sitting on the sofa during the weekdays when I'm home alone and I'm running out of films to watch-!

Still struggling with feeding :-(

spent 4 hours this morning trying to force boob into her mouth (so total 8hours since last feed) and eventually resorted to semi cold bath. It made her panic enough that I could wrap her in a towel and get her to latch on to boob for comfort.

I just don't know what to do. DS was always so hungry, but Elle just wants to sleep all day and night. I'm setting alarms to wake me every 3 hours to feed her, but she just isn't interested. She even turns her nose up at bottles (tried expressed and formula [3 different brands]) she just isn't hungry.

After eventually getting her to feed for 15 mins, she vomited the second she finished. Just hoping some of it stayed down.

Really worried the MW will make us go back to hospital tomorrow.

not going out til tonight stac!
dh id definately try the dummy tonight. it works wonders for ellie to space her out between feeds and puts her to sleep.
well thought the gaviscon and stuff was working because she didnt puke when she normally does yeaterday but she puked last night and this morning. really afraid of her gettin dehydrated or something cos she pukes up loads. i give her the odd bottle of cooled boiled water but would she be hungry if she's getting sick her whole feed?

kk I'd be really surprised if she was vomiting her whole feed, although I know what you mean because Elle is doing the same!

Are you bfing? If you are there is no need to offer water at all, and you may be filling her tummy up so she drinks less milk.

My bf feeding counsellor friend suggested pretty much the same as you stac but has since seen latch and says it's fine, and the problem is Elle spits boob/bottle out and clamps her mouth shut after 5mins feeding refusing to have anything else, sometimes for up to 9 hours

Obviously this isn't helping her weight gain, but I don't know how to force feed a new born, hence the MW saying they might have to readmit and feed her through a tube

Although she was full term and very tall (and at 9lb 11oz you'd think a healthy weight) she is actually very skinny, with virtually no brown fat and a little underdeveloped (problems with feet in particular that we have to see physio about).

You can see all the muscle in her calves and legs very clearly and there are no fat creases on limbs, even at wrists/thighs. She has the body of a delicate old lady - as DH put it.

She is also very difficult to wake and sleeps through everything, including being tickled, nappy changes, blowing on face etc...

We were warned at around 30weeks that her heartbeat was slow and she was very unresponsive (never had 10 kicks a day - lucky to get 3 or 4) although they haven't been able to find a reason for this.

There was some suggestion that she might be born slightly disabled and at one point the consultant was convinced she was unconscious, so we just feel really glad to have her with us at all. I was so pleased when she was born and awake that I never thought about the effects this 'unresponsiveness' might have on us after we had her. I just assumed everything would be normal, and if it wasn't I thought she'd have learning difficulties or something. I never imagined she wouldn't eat.

Sorry for the long post, just getting a bit weepy about it all.

Sorry, just realised it was tsc not stac with the great bfing advice. Mind all over the place atm!

gracie try not to worry uneccessarily, has the mw mentioned anything to you about ellie being unresponsive or are you thinking about this due to her feeding? If the hospital had concerns they wouldnt have discharged her. My friends son was readmitted due to not feeding so he was tube fed, basically he just struggled to suck properly so they had to teach him. Try talking over your fears with dh and mw hun x