December 2010, where we waft about in mat gear eating icecream

[Miffster]

Yo December 2010 ladies, here we go - the mid-point of our pregnancies...and beyond!

I've just had to have an afternoon nap in the chair in my office - time to go and try to get some proper sleep I think!

Hi all,

DF I think I know how you feel. I go through moments of panic that I'm going to become the default domestic slave - I don't want to stop DH from going out and doing the things he likes, but I know I will resent it if it means I'm stuck on my own at home in the evenings when i am at home alone (well, with the LO) all day as well. Is it unreasonable to expect our DHs to stay at home with us just to provide moral support?? I'm hoping that he'll want to stay home so that I don't have to nag him or tell him what to do. According to the sunday papers, men get the same sort of emotional hormonal bonding to the baby as women do, so fingers crossed nature will do the job so we don't have to!!!

DF you're not alone. I had a horrible day yesterday - couldn't stop crying and had a HUGE argument with my DH. Work is horribly stressful at the moment and I should have been relaxing on a Sunday, so I was really upset that I'd managed to waste a whole day being upset and upsetting my DH. DH stressed at work at the moment too, so we are doing a great job of winding each other up at the moment. Urgh!!

Feeling much happier today though. Had our 20 week scan last Friday and our little girl is coming along nicely. Now we're past that landmark I'm allowing myself to give into my retail urges and buy some tiny little baby things - so exciting

F**king hormones!!!!

Hello,
Just been catching up, can't believe how much I have missed.
Have been busy with BILs wedding, it was beautiful, I cried my eyes out during the ceremony!
Spent a lovely day at a Spa on Saturday with MIL, SIL, and new SIL, only slightly marred by yet another other SIL who is a first class PITA!
Had a pedicure, eye brow wax, mum-to-be massage, lovely swim and lounged around! I have decide to go back in November as a pre birthday treat, as when it's my actual birthday I won't be able to have many treatments as will be nearly 40 weeks.
Getting ready for V-Festival on Friday, looking forward to it but it will be a strange one being completely sober I think.

Am glad I am not alone if that makes sense; I don't want other people to be hormonal

has Pjen been on since her email thing, I am worried about her.

GGG DF and kiwi5 and anyone else in SW/near Bristol - I'm up for meeting. Would a weekend suit you? Thinking a Sat or Sun maybe in Bristol cente (nearish train station? I don't know Bristol that well). Could do any weekend other than 10th Sept at moment.

DF and everyone else who has been feeling rubbish, please take it easy on yourselves. It's not easy being pregnant. I've had good and bad days and was really down last week, but feel ok now. Partly it is hormones, partly trying to adjust to a massive shift in your identity to pregnant woman and mother to be and partly it's the exhaustion and other physical discomforts that come from pg. Have you thought of seeing if anyone in your area does pregnancy massage? It is a brilliant way to relax.

In terms of the domestic drudgery, I did find (and most of my friends too) that there is a period of adjustement and renegotiation which happens with OH after baby is born and that can cause a bit of friction. The best thing is to try and really communicate and appreicate each other's POV. If it is any comfort, DH and I have come through fairly well even after a number of really rocky patches.

Welcome to button :) and hope you are ok PJen

I'm doing fine. Have spoken to a person at work who sort of acts as a bit of a mentor today and feel much calmer about things, although have a stupid amount to deliver in next three months. I've tentatively told work I'll be stopping mid-Nov at about 36 weeks. Doesn't seem too far away!

Also just bought myself a widgey nursing cushion. I really wish I hadn't put it off last time around as think it will be invaluable.

Huh. Just read that back and sorry if I sound like I'm lecturing or being patronising... I don't really know what I'm talking about!

Wholelottalove, DF, kiwi5 etc - I just checked my diary and flabberghasted to discover that I don't have a weekend free until 25th/26th September (except very possibly 4th/5th depending on whether my brother is in the country for his birthday!). Seeing as I'm being difficult, you should go ahead and arrange things to suit yourselves and I'll join you if I can. Sorry!

Oh and that didn't sound at all patronising to me Wholelottalove !

DF - perhaps there was something about the weekend that made it particularly difficult for pregnant women. I felt horribly anxious and flat at the same time, all weekend...culminating in a horrid moment of bursting into tears at work this morning. I don't know why - I just downloaded all my emails that had come in over the weekend and I could see how much work I had to do, how urgent it all was - and suddenly felt horribly out of control. I had to run to the loos - where I actually started to hyperventilate. Ridiculous - and totally not like me. It isn't as if my workload has increased dramatically in the last few days - it is always pretty full on. I just felt completely unable to deal with it this morning.

Wholelottalove you didn't sound at all like you were lecturing - and I concur wholeheartedly with what you've said - there is definitely a period of readjustment when a baby is born. My DH and I really really struggled with it - I particularly struggled with the fact that while his job seemed to be confined to particular hours, mine went on and on with no break - if I wasn't looking after the baby I was washing/cleaning/cooking. As one of my friends said when she had her first baby, "shove a broom up my ase and I'll sweep the floor as well..." DH used to walk in the door and I'd immediately hand him the baby - and he'd complain that he had just come in from work and needed some time to relax - which would lead to the inevitable argument re when do I get my time to relax, etc etc. I am sure that similar arguments are played out across the country every day. But every couple finds their own way through it. As Wholelotta* has said, it is really important to talk it through together and listen. Or come onto MN and have a good old vent!!

i could possibly do a bristol meet. depending on which weekend. you all arrange it and i'll see if i can fit in.

df i think when you have a struggle to get or stay pg, you never really accept that you are going to have a healthy baby. probably some sort of defence mechanisim. i panic if i have to disccuss any plans for after the baby is due. we are supposed to be booking next years holidays and having to add a baby on the booking is frightening. same as discussing maternity leave! scarey stuff.

i'm thinking of booking in a nice massage or maybe a facial. anyone else having problems with their skin? i feel like a spotty teenager

hope it went ok today c&g

Hi guys - ditto on the crap weekend, got myself in a right state about having to have loads of people in the house - shouting and crying then when Saturday came it was all fine in the end :)

Also had the pram and car seat arrive on Friday - made it all very real.

Welcome to Button - same due date as me and my first one too :)

I'm jealous of the puppy news too! Could definitely imagine us with another new arrival but not too sure how the cats would react - speaking of which here is a pic of my cat bump hugging

"KittyBump www.mumsnet.com/Profile?nick=KittyBump&photos=p" I hope that works I'm not very techy

I'd be happy to wait until Sept for a meet, time to work up the courage

thanks again for all the sympathy. DH is back and everything is ok.

Kittybump love your pic, so cute

DF Just to echo was maxpower said, your happy post was so spot on, I had face ache from smiling so much on Friday, I was just so happy. Then I was an absolute misery guts on Saturday and has a hissy fit as my 20 month old niece wouldn't stop crying I feel a bit embarrassed now. Bloody hormones! Glad you are feeling better now

Notso So jealous about your mum to be massage

PJen everything ok with work?

The kicks are really painful for me and I'm only 23 weeks, I think bruises are going to start appearing, honestly. DP thinks it's lovely, as do I, just wish it didn't hurt I do have 4 legs kicking me right under the ribs though!

Is there anything we can do for insomnia/poor sleep? I've been sleeping so badly lately and I'm exhausted. Awake now at 4am having woken up from a bad dream and couldn't get back to sleep. I'm lucky in that I'm not working full-time so can rest during the day, but I'm so bored. And the housework, chores & DIY won't do themselves! Plus what work I should be doing is piling up.

Lavitabellissima - kicks are getting painful for me too at times and I've only got one in there! Hopefully your 2 will move round again for a bit. I'm finding that where she kicks really makes a difference as to how much it's uncomfortable. In my side doesn't hurt, it's just slightly uncomfortable when she belts me one. Right between my stomach muscles is the worst for me atm! Yow!

I second the not sleeping well bit - exhausted at work but then can't sleep at night.

For those not at work and looking for something to do - when I was off sick a while ago I used to do lots of online competitions. I used a forum called loquax but be warned it is addictive. Couple of hints - set up a separate email address as you will get loads of spam, only enter for things you want or can rehome as xmas presents! and stick to online as postal gets expensive. Another option for things to do - look on MSE for paid surveys and product testing - especially as mums to be. A good way to pick up some great products free and get to try them - again look for stuff you will use!

Hope everyone has a good day today - we have finally got OT visiting a house with us so please keep your fingers crossed for us!

Just checking in quickly, have been reading but not finding time to post lately.

DF hope you are feeling better now - it is an emotional roller coaster but worth it in the end!

c&G hope your dd is getting the help she needs. So pleased to hear that you've had better news lately. Hopefully you can relax and enjoy a bit more now.

PJEn how is work, ime that sort of thing always blows over but is hellish at the time. I once managed to crash an international consultancy's server for a weekend by sending a massive email and their md threatened to sue the tiny firm I worked for for loss of business but it wasn't a problem in the end even if 6 or so years later I still cringe to think about it.

Japh mrs s hope sleep comes more easily soon.

I've now told all my colleagues and am facing a major identity shift - feel a bit like I'm now seen as "that pregnant woman" rather than the competent professional in charge (obviously that's what all the people who work with me normally think!)

Morning all,

Sorry for all of those feeling particularly hormonal- it's a bit of a rough ride isn't it- I also can be fine one day and then miserable the next.

Also having trouble sleeping at the moment. DH is very stressed at work and not sleeping well and I am dreaming soooooooooo much and also feeling like I'm just getting light sleep. Wake up each morning feeling very unrefreshed and find it extremely difficult to drag myself out of bed. Also I find lying on my side uncomfortable so am always ending up on my back which I know isn't very good for me or the baby.

Had 21 week scan yesterday- all fine and got a good pic. We didn't find out what we're having as we're wanting a surprise- although a part of me does want to know!

Baby has been SO active the past few days- never seems to stop! Hopefully it's not a sign of things to come! Sorry for those having painful kicks.

Mrs Snaplegs hope all goes well for you today, and everyone else have a good day too.

Hello everyone! I am here... I am okay... Thanks for asking. :) nobody has still asked me to leave the company and I have been super busy with crazy amount of work.I have been reading your posts in the mornings before starting the work but never found really time to respond as the days are just going by very quickly!!! I have another day of full meetings ahead of me and am going to travel for work and then for holiday. I will be away for 2-3 weeks but will find opportunities to read your posts whenever my ipod touch gets a wifi signal :)

DF and all, I have been down too. Different reason but also possibly hormonal. I am freaking out with how much fat I got to be honest. I feel very very ugly, down and self concious. Another friend of mine, who is only 2 wks behind me, has put almost nothing but a very neat bump! I am so . My boobs has become huge and make me look so fat from front!! :(

Yet another friend of ours had a premature baby last weekend! Most DH?s friends are expecting around the same time with us, all of them first timers and we have already 2 premature babies! This one was born on 32 weeks but was already over 6 lbs (Dad is huge and was born over 11 lbs )!!!!!!!! The baby and mom were both sent home the next day due to the baby being just fine on his own... :)
Hope you all are doing absolutely great!

93pjb lol to crashing the server with huge email!!!!

Morning all. Assessment went well yesterday, going back in 3 weeks for her to talk again. The puppy is doing really well already, only had to go out once in the night last night yay. He's a little pig though, had his breakfast and then tried to nick ds2's scrambled egg lol. He LOVES his food :o

DF hope you're feeling a bit better now, I don't think you'll do the baby any harm, God knows I've been a mess lately! They're well protected and buffered in there.

Pjen wow 32 weeks and allowed home the next day! That's amazing! My dd was born at 36 weeks and had to stay in scbu for a week. So lucky to be able to go straight home, really pleased to hear baby was OK though.

Emma glad your scan went well :)

Lavita I'm getting the same, I'm 21+5 today and some of the kicks really take my breath away already!

93pjb Thanks, I'm still finding things really hard as after explaining the supervised contact to the children and reassuring them that'll be safe, ds1 has said he wants to give it a try. Obviously I'm being really supportive to this but I'm finding it hard myself as, again, I won't be able to do anything about it and I just want to protect my babies. I know that the end of the road will be back to unsupervised and I really want their father to undertake some sort of counselling before that as I bloody well needs it. Dd is refusing to go still though so Saturday should be fun....

AARGH!!!!! Insert loud scream emoticon! They have just phoned to cancel the visit to the house today as "they can't find the keys" - we might be able to make it next week they said -well I would actually like to try and take some leave next week as I haven't had any THIS YEAR. Sorry I am so angry I am crying and just had to rant at someone, good job I am in my own office and can shut the door.

Bloody hell MrsSnapLegs - as if you haven't been waiting long enough!

Just wanted to log on quickly before my mum gets back with ds2. We had a great day yesterday (Thanks Mum! (and Tesco)), I was expecting to be really suffering today but feel ok. (£14 in diesel, only an hour to London & not tied to specific times, heaven! I;m now converted to driving to London instead of coach or train).

PJen - glad things haven't hit the fan at work.

DF - hormones are horrible, confusing things during pregnancy, I've had a few days where I just cry, I've found it much better to just get it out. Really difficult for others to understand though. But then on the flip side I have days where I want to just jump around and nothing can stop me.

Chloe & MrsSL - 12.30/12.45 on Friday is good for me. Looking forward to meeting you bot. Never bought anything from Popeyes, but it always smells lovely whenever I go past!

If I don't get on anymore this week, have a good'un.

Oh, and luck must be with us as DP forgot to close his window (rubbish alarm doesn't go off if you leave window open ) yesterday, so car parked all day in London, window wide open and it was still there with everything in it still there (stereo, ipod, satnav etc etc!!!)

Wholelottalove, DF, kiwi5 I pretty sure I am now free on 5th September if you can all make it then?

japhrimel I recently found this article about Foods for Sleep by Dr Sears (who I think is the one who wrote The Baby Book) - might help!

That's SO frustrating MrsSnaplegs - huge sympathy! :(

So sorry to hear that some of us are having an emotional rollercoaster. I have to say I'm actually feeling more emotionally stable than ever at the moment. I'm quite level headed anyway but seem to be even more so now. I was a bit worried about the pregnancy hormones because I suffered from some pretty extreme depression as a teenager and I've never been able to take the pill, or any other hormone-based contraceptive, because I'm hyper-sensitive to them. My only worry is that all this feeling great now might mean a crash later, possibly in the form of post-natal depression. I suppose watching out for it is the best thing though.