the safe and welcoming support thread for anyone affected by the loss of a child, a place to share, to shout, to cry and smile and to remember our beautiful stars and sunflowers

[crumpette]

This is a thread for anyone who has lost a child or been affected by the loss of a child no matter how big or small or how recent or long ago. We understand.

In memory of the light of my life, Lucia, and all of our little ones taken too soon. x

Hi ladies.

Today has not been much better, been on the verge of tears nearly all day but trying hard to hold it together. The worst was around town with Mum earlier, was not coping with the constant sight of pretty prams etc. Its not like this is the first time I've been shopping, or been surrounded by the prams of the public so I'm unsure why its had such a massive effect today. Maybe its because my due date is looming even closer, and we're going into August. I had such dreams for August. Feeling particularly emotional and weepy this week.

Welcome back Min - I agree it is very insensitive to have your appointment scheduled for your due date. Why don't you see if they are able to change it for you?

Ours arrived today too - 19th August.

Dee so pleased you found Ciaran's hand and foot prints.

I'm not sure i believe in angles, but i do believe it was something...

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Caz. Sorry to hear you've had such a tough day. Somedays there just seems to be babies everywhere I might try and rearrange the scan but the consultant is only there on a Tuesday so not sure how successful it will be. I found it easier being away, I guess it all becomes more real at home, perhaps too many reminders.

Oh god, my neighbour just came round ( she's been feeding our cat whilst we've been away). Her little boy was there and he asked me if ' the baby was out'. I feel so sad as we'd talked to him about the baby and he'd said he'd play with him. His mum tried to explain to him and said she'd talk about it later, I didn't know how to explain it to a 4 year old ( he's not even 4 till Sunday). I just wish I could have told him yes and had my baby with me, or still in my tummy where he should have been.

You sound like you had a good break Mini. My Matt's little pal (he was 4) used to come around and call for him every morning after his accident. Most of the time I would try to ignore his knocking on the door. One day I told him the full truth about Matts accident. He listened carefully and said he felt sad that had happened. Then he looked up at me with big brown sad eyes and said 'Can I have his football boots then?'

Even though I was very sad I had to almost scream laughing. His mum was so very angry with him and I told her not to be - he was asking the questions that many adults wanted to ask me but couldn't.

Children see things in black or white - we swim through the grey crap in the middle.

If I was you and he asks again I would try and talk to him as honestly as you can. xx

Right seeing as you all pretended you didnt hear me except Sassy

I have taken the liberty of starting a new thread.. hope thats ok

new thread

Last time I started a thread there was a bit of a bunfight and poor shabs got banned. I am hoping this one will be more peaceful

Sassy I totally get why you dont want to do the Edin festival... at the risk of sounding glib.. I hope one day you will be able to go back and smile at the memory of time you went with Catherine. Right now that day is a long way off.... one day at a time

hey dee thats fab about Ciaran's hand and foot prints.. I was praying you would get a copy.. but how spooky was that!

Grief is soo strange isnt it.. you think you have it under control and BAM.
For those of you in the early stages you will find slowly but surely the bad periods will get shorter and there will be longer in between.. for now one step at a time