Hi again,
We've bailed on that BBQ tonight, I just couldn't face it - keeping on a face. But we have been to see the friends who got engaged today before everyone else got there to congratulate them properly, give them their birthday presents and spend a little time with them. They were very understanding and appreciated that we couldn't face a excited group of people tonight. We'll see them again properly in a couple of week and I really will try and make myself go to whatever official engagement celebrations they decide on.
Its hard to determine how bad I'm feeling. (Not at all patronising Sassy - I understand what you're getting at)... Each day varies so massively to be honest. But I'll go through you're list...
-Sleep - variable, but for DH especially seems to be getting less and less sleep. My sleep is patchy, sleeping quite a lot, but all over the place. Not all in one go through the night. "Bedtime" seems to be between 1-2 am for me at the moment, and has been since the day we were told Belle had gone to sleep.
- Meals - We're both eating probably one good meal a day, for example I'm currently cooking tea which will be our first meal of today... I know this is not great. I think this is down to getting up late and not being hungry straight away for any kind of breakfast, and by the time we do eat its quite late in the day, so we're only getting one meal in and maybe some snacks at some point too.
- Alcohol - I've only had one night where I've gotten pissed since Belle was born. The night I ended up staying at my mothers. But I'm drinking a glass or 2 of wine most but not all evenings. DH has drunk more than normal in a month too - but less than I have been drinking. Although last night did say he wished he had a big bottle of Jack Daniels so he could get pissed.... Neither of us by any means are relying on alcohol though - if its in the house, its getting drunk, if its not, we're not rushing to Asda to buy more, it just waits till the next proper shop.
- Being active - most of this week if I'm honest has been spent sat around the house not doing much. Before this we had been out and about most days. Like you say - maybe this isn't helping the deteriorating sleep situation.
-Doing something nice for myself - I have been trying! I had my nails done last week, and I'm booked in to go again next week. Mum bought me a new dress to wear out for my wedding anniversary (1st Aug) Wednesday too. We're booked into the hotel where we got married overnight for our WA too.
-Socialising - trying our best, but only in small situations. Don't feel up to a proper gathering. We've been to the pub a few times with 1 or 2 friends, visiting friends. But the hardest thing about this is like you said, talking about Belle - it is evident they don't know what to say and find the whole situation uncomfortable. I'm going to my cousins wedding next Friday and dreading it. DH isn't going.
Just got to keep trying to do "normal" things I guess....