the safe and welcoming support thread for anyone affected by the loss of a child, a place to share, to shout, to cry and smile and to remember our beautiful stars and sunflowers

[crumpette]

This is a thread for anyone who has lost a child or been affected by the loss of a child no matter how big or small or how recent or long ago. We understand.

In memory of the light of my life, Lucia, and all of our little ones taken too soon. x

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so this is where you are all hiding!!!

There just doesnt seem to be enough hours in the day at the moment .. but I am still thinking of you all

I am not sure if its complete but here is the latest list of our very precious dates
stolen from the previous thread.

JANUARY

18th January 1998 Sydney's birthday (NinaJane)
20th Jan,1992 Billie's birthday (Chegirl)
28th January 1998 Sydney's remember day (NinaJane)
30th January 1998 Sydney's funeral (NinaJane)

FEBRUARY

28th Feb,2008 Lucia's birthday (Crumpette)

MARCH
4th March 2007 Gregor's birthday (PPM)
11th March 2008, Eris's Birthday & Remember Day (FeedMeNow)
15th March 2009 Gregor's remember day (PPM)
26th March 2008, Noah's Birthday (TheLighthouseKeeper)

APRIL

3rd April,2007 Benjamin's remember day (Charleymouse)
10th April 2002 Georgie's remember day (AtACompleteLoss)
12th April,2009 Lucia's remember day (Crumpette)
13th April, 2005 Fraser's remember day (FMummy)
15th April, 2005 Fraser's birthday (FMummy)
23rd Apirl, 2002 Georgie's funeral (AtACompleteLoss)
27th April, 2006 Billie's remember day (chegirl)

MAY

10th May,1992 Matt's remember day (Shabbs)
24th May,1993 Christina's birthday (B.Butterfly)

JUNE

04th June 2008, Noah's Remember Day (TheLighthouseKeeper)
25th June,1993 Christina's remember day (B.Butterly)
28th June 1987 Matt's birthday (shelleylou)
30th June, 2009 Niamh's birthday and remember day (Woolly Jo)
30th June, 1984 Matt's birthday (Shabbs)

JULY

13th July - Callum's remember day (LittleMissPMeno)
21st July, 1982 Gareth's remember day (Shabbs)
23rd July,2009 Nimah's funeral (Woolly Jo)
29th July, 2008 Caitlin's birthday (Olissa)
30th July. Cole's birthday (Liketomoveit)

AUGUST

3rd August, 2008 Caitlin's remember day (Olissa)
5th August,2009 Felix's birthday and remember day (Tinkerbelle)
8th August - Callum's funeral (LittleMissPMeno)
28th August 2009 - Daisy's brithday and remember day (LunaticFringe)

SEPTEMBER

9th September Ciaran's birthday and remember day (Deemented)
11th September 2009 Daisy's funeral (LunaticFringe)
18th September,2006 Jayden's birthday (Hazygirl)

OCTOBER

1st October - Ciaran's funeral (Deemented)
7th October,2000 Harry's birthday (TWilbury)
19th October 2009 Matt's Remember day (shelleylou)
28th October 2009, Archie's birthday (AbiAbi)

NOVEMBER

6th November 2008 - Oliver's Remember Day (Everlong)
7th November - Cole's remember day (ILiketomoveit)
20th November 1987 - Oliver's Birthday (Everlong)

DECEMBER

1st December,2006 Jayden's remember day (Hazygirl)
2nd December,2001 Harry's remember day (TWilbury)
18th December,2006 Jayden's funeral (Hazygirl)
22nd December,1994 Jack's birthday and remember day (Lottie), Archie's remember day (AbiAbi)
28th December,1981 Gareth's (and Danny's) birthday
31st December 2001 Georgie's birthday (AtACompleteLoss)

I went to see Richard at the hospital (mortuary) and talked to him and said goodbye. I went to see him at the chapel of rest, said goodbye again. We had the funeral. I sorted out his clothes (he did not live with us but we had to do it,he lived where he worked and had separated from his partner). I know he has gone but when the phone rings I still expect him to say ' are you alright'. It will be 9 weeks tomorrow (Sunday) at 3.00pm when the policeman came into my kitchen and my world collapsed. I relive every minute of that afternoon every week. When a Sunday afternoon passes without that happening I will know that I am starting to heal. I know this is still such a terrible shock but I think that everyone else has moved on but I am still in the same place. I do not want anyone to forget him but I fear that they will.

sorry to be rambling on but I can't sleep tonight.

Lavandes. I know what you mean. my brother was killed on 19th october at 2.45am. I relive being told by my parents at 8.30 (they werent informed till 6amish) and my world fell apart. BIL thought DH and I had split up when he phoned DH later that day to see if i was ok. I remember clearly telling him that i would prefer that. I too visited Matt in the mortuary, kssed him, said see ya later and told him my ds would know about him. I saw him everyday i could. I saw him in his coffin and held his hand. I could never leve him straight away, i would kiss him goodbye go to walk out then run back in and give him another kiss. At his funeral the funeral directer had to pull me away from his coffin..not very dignified but i couldnt let him go I still cant.

Sorry I've gone on one now. Been bottling it up all day.

I'l be around for a bit longer if your still awake and what a chat. I'm rasing a glass to all our loved ones.
Cheers matty got your drink as is now my tradition.

Oh my word Lavandes - such early, early days....OMG I hate those early head pounding, heart jumping early days. Please keep posting my friend.....let all your sadness out here - we all have a bloody good idea what you are trying to explain.

Shelley - awwwwwwwwwww - look at your bro and my little lad almost sharing the same birthday.....In 10 days time my DS3 will be 26 years old.....I have no idea what all this crap is about. I just know that my precious sons and every single Mama on here are just great friends.

Think we will do the cake and the birthday balloons here this year - for our special lad xxxx

Morning girls xx

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Sassy - you are so right - this crappy path of bereavement is an exhausting one. xx

Morning all.

As usual, Father's Day is a bittersweet day and a reminder of the people who aren't with us anymore. Days like this almost feel like a mockery don't they?

So glad you and PPM met up Sassy, it's great that you can be there for eachother. Gregor's garden does sound lovely.

Grief is so very exhausting and all consuming, especially in the early days, months and years. But I can promise you you will find the burden of grief and loss easier to carry, and it eventually sits and walks along beside you instead of weighing the shoulders down.

Love to all xxx

Sassy I somehow managed to miss your post about meeting up with PPM [doh] I am so glad you have found each other - and, yes, I think you two precious children will be looking out for each other and will be so pleased that there Mums have met.

Your post made me want to sob. You described Gregors special place so well - it made me feel like I was there with you.

I was amazed that the world kept turning after my boys died - i felt it was an outrage that it did!

that should have read your children

I noticed it before about our matts birthdays shabs. Weir prt about it is my birthday is an equal legnth of time between them.
We're laying flowers at the scene and having a drink for matty. Times going so quickly i cant believe in 4 months it will be a year. I've put in a holiday form for that week as i can't see me being in much of a state to work dispite my working week starting after his remember day. I need one of the days off for the charity event so the week will come in handy so i can get all the last bits sorted

Beth has been moved out of intensive care and they are talking about her coming home very soon There will never be a cure for Beth because of the 'syndrome' she was born with but this is such a giant step for them as a family. OMG I wish I could make her better xx

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LOL @ beer fund!!

I emailed the hotel owner yesterday. We usually have a studio apartment but this year we decided we needed a one bedroom apartment - Tom will be 13 next month and we just wanted the privacy. I asked if the studio apartments are a lot cheaper could we change our booking.

Just got an email from them.... I do you this room at specially deally prices because you are my family....after reading the email we are going back in the studios!! They are charging us about £20 a day for the studio apt....not £20 per person - £20 a day - whoooooooooooooooo hooooooooooooo they are good people.

I like Takis' 'specially deally prices!' xxx

Shabs, have you used the translate facility in Google?

Here, try this it's quicker than an English to Greek dictionary!

You can write a passage in English in it and ask it to translate it to Greek and vice versa (plus there are loads of languages you can do it with).

I don't think it likes colloquial words sometimes, but it can be a big help.

Awwww thanks Ilike - i will spend many a happy moment translating shite rubbish from myself to my greek mates - that is brilliant.....OPA (joy) Yammas (cheers) afkaristo (thanks)

Morning girls x

Morning all, i found yesterday very difficult, In the morning i took Wilf to his Dads grave and we left a card. A friend came to have lunch with us and Wilf went back to school at 2.30, in the evening i went to a Fathers Day service at church and cried the whole way through. I am still very angry with my Dad over the things that happened with his will and after he died. Our local pub has now reopened after refurbishment and i got talking to the Landlord Simon after the service, he asked how many children i had, i said i should have two and explained about Jack. He got quite embarassed and apologised, i said not to be embarassed and he listened as i explained about Jack.

Morning all xx

Lottie , I don't like fathers day either , I am lucky in that I have still got my dad who is lovely and I have also got a lovely step dad but I find the whole day depressing because there should be another name on the card for my dh .

We had a big local show here yesterday , floats and fete type thing . They were also selling Pimms and I don't think the person making them had ever drunk it before . Very strong but delicious , I am feeling a bit jaded this morning x

Another one here agreeing and nodding about Fathers Day.

When you said jaded TW, did you actually mean hungover?!

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Evening everyone xx Yes Sassy it was lovely to get a chance to meet you too and i was so pleased to be able to share Gregor's daffodil wood - and shabs was right, Sassy's described it perfectly!

Had a hectic weekend. Had a day out at the beach for father's day on saturday which was lovely (did i just say i had a lovely time - is this what you call progress ILike?) In contrast I could have gladly cancelled yesterday though - The pain DH felt, the lack of another name on his card from DS1, etc, etc.

slightly better day at work today - had a good chat with my boss.

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