The hugely supportive thread in memory of all our twinkling little stars, bobbing sunflowers and dancing butterflies supporting those bereaved by the loss of a child

[peterpansmum]

In memory of our gorgeous Gregor

thank you xxx

Hi everyone

'Sassy' You have written exactly what I am feeling, sometimes I am quite calm but I still get the panic moments and feel that I am back at square one. I am still reliving the afternoon the policeman came to our house to tell us Richard had died. I suppose it is still shock. I have found going to work has helped me, I sleep better on the nights I have been to work, but it is difficult and tiring trying to be normal. I have been cooking, I find it therapeutic. Your recipe for omellete sounds delicious I will try it! I think that you are a wonderful mother. We are still in the 'early days'.

'Shabs' Your Beth is lucky to have such a lovely Auntie and I am keeping her and you in my thoughts and prayers.

I think there is no justice in this life when our precious children get these horrible illnesses and have tragic accidents and the evil people seem to get off scott free to walk our streets.

Thank you sassy! sounds delicious! Alas, no eggs or herbs, or yoghurt. I have some baby food though.. I'm not so good on basics like bread/milk/eggs ..I have been known to use aptamil in coffee ! yuck

Shabs, thinking of little Beth. It's not fair poor little poppet. I'm praying she stays strong and pulls through it, she sounds like a strong fighter and if we all pray for her and believe in her I honestly think it may have an effect. Even though I'm personally not necessarily religious (as in no particular religion quite fits my beliefs), I think there is a god and I am sure praying does work, cosmic ordering and all that, and we are all willing her to pull through, all over the nation.

lavandes sorry you have off days, I still can't believe what has happened either. I still feel stunned when I see a picture of her, just disbelief that any of it happened. I think shock is quite normal. You're right about justice, the saying the good die young.. well it just seems true. My dad died at 25.. Apparently he was lovely. My DD, at 14mths. She was my favourite person. My grandma last year wasn't really very old, compared to my other grandparents she was 20 years younger. Now my friend who was far too young to die has died. I feel like there are so many people I wouldn't mind seeing 'depart' and its only the people I care about that have died. Really, it's my favourite people. Argh.

I have had a crap few days tbh I have really struggled with the news about my friend. Ifeel so guilty. She was pretty much my best friend. I didn't see much of her but she wrote/emailed/texted so often and was so nice. The only friend I could be honest with and who would understand, iyswim. I don't know what to do, I have sent a card to her father. But I didn't even know what to write. I should have known what to write but ...

On a brighter note I can sit some exams in September that I was meant to sit last summer. I didn't register after L got ill, I didn't register this year either but I have just emailed them and they have said it's OK to sit in September. I've now got to start doing some work. Argh! I am one of those people who leaves everything til the night before..

still sending postive vibes for Beth.

Could you all possibly send some for myself and my family. Tomorrow is DB's inquest. I've been dreading it all day so been trying to keep myself ridiculously busy. Im dreading they give the verdict of death by misadventure or accidental death.

Shelley - the bloke who is responsible for your Matts death has been charged - I cannot imagine that it will be accidental death.....the inquest is not as bad as I thought my Matts would be. You will be given the chance to leave the room if you dont want to hear any medical reports. They will treat you with courtesy and kindness. I think I will light my candle for us all tomorrow - think we all need lights to be shining around the country to support each other. Much love to you and your family Shelley - will be holding you close in my heart and in my thoughts tomorrow xxxxxxx

Thinking of you shelley, sending lots of positive vibes your way. You're so strong, it will be okay in the end. I believe that there is always justice served, be it in the way we deem fit at the time or in another way later on, I truly believe things unfold in a just way, eventually. (If it doesn't go right tomorrow there is the option to apply for judicial review if there is any error in law*.) But I truly hope they reach the right conclusion tomorrow. You and your family have had such an awful time now, stay strong. xxx

Is there any chance one of you could copy and paste the birthday/remember list for me??? I still cant get to grips with this Mac PC and will make a mess of it....many thanks xxx

shabba's right, it's so unlikely thatthat will be the verdict, shelley. And they will be so,so nice to you and very sensitive. You'll be OK xxx

Please forgive me if this list isn't the latest. Sadly I know there are more dates to add

JANUARY

18th January 1998 Sydney's birthday (NinaJane)
20th Jan,1992 Billie's birthday (Chegirl)
28th January 1998 Sydney's remember day (NinaJane)
30th January 1998 Sydney's funeral (NinaJane)

FEBRUARY

28th Feb,2008 Lucia's birthday (Crumpette)

MARCH
4th March 2007 Gregor's birthday (PPM)
11th March 2008, Eris's Birthday & Remember Day (FeedMeNow)
15th March 2009 Gregor's remember day (PPM)
26th March 2008, Noah's Birthday (TheLighthouseKeeper)

APRIL

3rd April,2007 Benjamin's remember day (Charleymouse)
10th April 2002 Georgie's remember day (AtACompleteLoss)
12th April,2009 Lucia's remember day (Crumpette)
13th April, 2005 Fraser's remember day (FMummy)
15th April, 2005 Fraser's birthday (FMummy)
23rd Apirl, 2002 Georgie's funeral (AtACompleteLoss)
27th April, 2006 Billie's remember day (chegirl)

MAY

10th May,1992 Matt's remember day (Shabbs)
24th May,1993 Christina's birthday (B.Butterfly)

JUNE

04th June 2008, Noah's Remember Day (TheLighthouseKeeper)
25th June,1993 Christina's remember day (B.Butterly)
28th June 1987 Matt's birthday (shelleylou)
30th June, 2009 Niamh's birthday and remember day (Woolly Jo)
30th June, 1984 Matt's birthday (Shabbs)

JULY

13th July - Callum's remember day (LittleMissPMeno)
21st July, 1982 Gareth's remember day (Shabbs)
23rd July,2009 Nimah's funeral (Woolly Jo)
29th July, 2008 Caitlin's birthday (Olissa)
30th July. Cole's birthday (Liketomoveit)

AUGUST

3rd August, 2008 Caitlin's remember day (Olissa)
5th August,2009 Felix's birthday and remember day (Tinkerbelle)
8th August - Callum's funeral (LittleMissPMeno)
28th August 2009 - Daisy's brithday and remember day (LunaticFringe)

SEPTEMBER

9th September Ciaran's birthday and remember day (Deemented)
11th September 2009 Daisy's funeral (LunaticFringe)
18th September,2006 Jayden's birthday (Hazygirl)

OCTOBER

1st October - Ciaran's funeral (Deemented)
7th October,2000 Harry's birthday (TWilbury)
19th October 2009 Matt's Remember day (shelleylou)
28th October 2009, Archie's birthday (AbiAbi)

NOVEMBER

6th November 2008 - Oliver's Remember Day (Everlong)
7th November - Cole's remember day (ILiketomoveit)
20th November 1987 - Oliver's Birthday (Everlong)

DECEMBER

1st December,2006 Jayden's remember day (Hazygirl)
2nd December,2001 Harry's remember day (TWilbury)
18th December,2006 Jayden's funeral (Hazygirl)
22nd December,1994 Jack's birthday and remember day (Lottie), Archie's remember day (AbiAbi)
28th December,1981 Gareth's (and Danny's) birthday
31st December 2001 Georgie's birthday (AtACompleteLoss)

......remember our favourite Greek swear word Shelley....anybody gets on your tits nerves and just think malaker I know many miles are between us but I will be with you in spirit xxx

Thank you Crumpette - I know that I cant do that - I have tried xxxx

Thank you both.

I want unlawful killing on my Matty's death crtificate. I know that might sound strange but he was killed. Accidents can be prevented that malaker caused his death.He wont be at the inquest but the witnesses will want to tell 1 of them we dont blame him, we know it wasnt his fault. I could just do with a greek cocktail bout now but wil have matts drink. JD and coke.

I want to her the medical report and see the pictures. I know he he had other injuries apart from the 2 we have been told caused his death. We've been told it will last about 45 minutes is that right??... it seams so short

Morning girls.

Shelley that sounds about right for the inquest - Im sure my Matts was the same.

Will be thinking about you xx

Your up early shabs.

It seams really short i was expecting it to be a couple of hours.
Thanks I'm going to stock up on caffeine and have shower to try revive myself a bit before my son wakes up. Been up all night

I will be thinking of you today shellylou I hope that you get justice for your dear brother and that you and your family can finally find peace.

thanks lavandes. I've worked myself up into a right state will probably be better when my dad has picked me up to take ds to school as i wont be waitinf round for aslong then and will be with my family. I feel more nervous this morning that i did the morning i got married :S

Morning all. Hugs and strength for you today Shelley xx

thinking of you today shelley, its not easy but everyone will be kind to you, the coroner was lovely,and realy helped ,and reassured us , im sure yours will be fine.

Coroner and the Police were really nice. The twat that killed db has gone further down in my estimation if that is even possible. His statement and that of the arresting officer was awful. Press were there which i expected. Luckily it was an old school friend of mine who did the tribute article shortly after his death. Report will be in saturday but ill get a proof of the article emailed to me later today or tomorrow. The charity event is also being put in the paper at the same time either with the inquest article or a seperate piece.
We got the verdict i dreaded most................ accidental death. I was right about db having injuries in a certain area and we have had it confirmed that db would have died instantly and probably didnt know the car was so close to him or that he had been hit by it.

Sorry if its painful for you to read shabs. Thank you to all of you for your thoughts today

I dont understand 'accidental death' in your case sweetheart....thats the verdict we got for our Matt. Dont worry you havent upset me love - hope you dont mind me asking but was it a head injury? My Matt was only alive for about a minute after the lorry hit him...I was underneath the lorry with him trying to do something - I have no idea what I thought I could do.

He had massive head injuries and his internal organs had been crushed.

I believe in Karma, my dear friend and I know that the Malaker who did kill your brother will 'get his!' Believe me I know for sure.

Have just lit my candle in honour and with the greatest love and respect for all our lost children xxxx

He had no head injuries at all his helmet had done its job!! His face hands and legs were completely unmarked had marks from the trauma collar on his neck. He had grazes on his right side and on his back, a ruptured aorta, broken spine, they sed spine but it was his neck from the way he was laying in the mortuary and in his coffin. Fractured ribs, injuries to his liver and lungs. The pathologist cant say what came from the fall or from the collision. The man that phoned the ambulance went to see if he was breathing but couldnt see his chest rising or falling and he wasnt moving at all. As the aorta is the major artery to the heart db didnt have a chance.

I think its accidental because they couldnt prove malaker caused his death he will get his. Im glad i havent upset you was worried it may as it is so similr to your matt.

Glad his helmet did the job - head injuries are so horrific....mind you, dont think there is any sort of injury that is not truly awful.

The coroner said that Matt would probably have escaped serious injury (especially head injury) if he had had a safety helmet on

shelley,im sorry its not the verdict you expected,but i also believe in karma,sometimes we have to wait though.
shabs, im so sorry, i dont know what to say , if only we knew, my love, please accept my hugs.

shabs you werent to know. They were reall expensie when i was a kid

my matt alwasys had a full head and face helmet. he was so consciencious off it

sorry if im not making much sense had a few to drink tonight

Morning girls - soooooooo tired this morning x