Lilred, 2Shoes, Squonk, Sidge etc: how are you now?

[NancysGarden]

I've been away (not physically just not really here if you know what I mean) and missed everything, your posts and new threads. I think I just found it too hard to come anywhere near bereavement for a while. I've posted in style and beauty (of all places!) but no, couldn't quite face it here.

So...how are you all? I agree we should have a new thread and am sorry I didn't see the one 2shoes (I think) started in April (or was it March?)

Myself I've been bumbling along, wearing a mask at work, at home, in fact pretty much everywhere. Like you Lilred, I am so exhausted supporting others there hasn't really been any time to start to grieve myself.

So, about 2 weeks ago I finally felt like I was cracking up and have lined up some bereavement counselling through work. It's only 5 sessions to start so will have to be pretty focussed work, but if I don't speak to someone soon, I may drop everything and go under.

(It would be good to get this going again tbh, it was wonderful to have that support over the ether back in Feb. Like many of you, I have my support "network" of DP, sibs, friends etc but sometimes it's too personal. It is easier like this I think.)

Hello. Hope everyone is doing ok?

We are all in need of counselling. Mum is getting it through the hospice, but I need to sort it out for Ds and myself. I don't know if I can get in free or not. if it's not, we'll have to go without

I miss my Dad so much. i have had a couple of occasions where I've just sobbed by heart out.

Mums talking about moving back up North where she was born and I'm really not happy about it. I feel selfish about that, but I just know what will happen if she'sill or I guess eventually dies. It'll all fall onto my shoulders again and I can't be travelling 300 miles to sort it out. It's not fair on me or my Dc's.
Ds is devastated that he's lost hisGrandad and feels truly let down that he'll 'lose' his Grandma too...what can I do?

I've put some of Dads funeral photos on my profile if anyone would like to look. It was a wonderful day.

Mum and I bought some top quality roses in ivory and deep red and we took all the petals off and layered them in two baskets. During the final crematorium/cemetry service, I invited everyone to come and take a handful of petals and throw them over Dads casket. It was so beautiful. The whole thing has been the talk of the family since the day itself. I'm so proud of the way it went.

sounds lovely Solo - good to 'see' you.

Cruse do free counselling and come into your home. I had a small number of sessions through a different organisation, linked to my workplace. It did really help.

Glad you're back Lilred!

Thanks NG. I must give them a call...

Hi everyone, sorry it's been a while. Life is pretty hectic with my new job, DH being away, children, trying to plan ahead for Christmas etc.

Nearly 10 months now since Dad died and still finding it hard. I intended to seek out Cruse but didn't quite get round to it, but think I might need to make more effort.

I'm better in lots of ways (don't cry as much) but still feel such an intense sadness. The loss seems so profound. I miss him so much - I had a really vivid dream about him the other night, then felt so sad when I woke and realised I hadn't really been talking to him.

I do hope you are all ok; thinking of you all xxx

Time goes so quickly Sidge.

Take care.

Hello all,
Nancy, well done for doing the reading. I know how hard it is at the time but also know how good it feels after that you did it

solo sorry you are having a hard time and have the added worry of your mum moving away. Very hard for you and your DS.

sidge, it must be hard for you with the first anniversary coming up just after christmas. Also hard for all of us who will have this first christmas without a loved one.
I'm dreading it but glad we won't be home this year for christmas (going back for new year instead) so at least it will be a bit different.

I think I probably need a bit of counselling. The last few days I've thought of mum a lot and not really sure what is triggering it. My little boy is moving on in leaps and bounds and I suppose I keep thinking how much mum would have loved him. Out of myself and my two siblings I'm probably the one that ensured mum (and dad) spent a lot of quality time with their grandchildren. Thinking about it, DC1 and 2 spend lots of time with them, they went and stayed usually a week at christmas and easter and at least a week in the summer and had proper quality time with them. camping with them, mum teaching them to knit and cook, dad teaching them to ride their bikes and play dominos. My brothers never did that with their kids which is sad.
Makes me sad though that DC3 and 4 won't know that

Right, off to cuddle DC4 as he is looking very cuddly today

Hugs to all xxx

MOS, it was the same for us. I always took my Dc's over to see Mum and Dad ~ 3 or 4 times a week and every single day for the last 3 months of Dads life. My Dad looked after my Ds from 17 weeks until he was 8yo and he was on his own with him for the first year. Ds had a great relationship with his Grandad and Dd loved him too...My Db's Dc's didn't get to visit a lot and it was only my constant nagging and pulling on his conscience that got him visiting a lot for the last two weeks and bringing the children. The children love my Dad, so I can't think why they didn't bother asking their father to take them over...it really is beyond me

It is so very sad to think that our loved ones aren't around us to see our lo's growing and developing their character's isn't it?

A couple of strange things have happened in my house...last night, I heard a banging noise upstairs when we were all downstairs and this lunchtime, I heard a banging in my hallway which sounded like my little fold up table being banged ~ it was! Dd in dining room, Ds in bathroom, me in lounge...I went and looked at the said table and banged(knocked)on it and it definitely was what I heard! It can only be Dad

Catch you all soon. Take care!

Hi Solo - weird things happen here too, but often I wonder if I am reading into things, wanting them to be so when they're not. (Not that I am suggesting you are doing that!) Supernatural things scare me a lot. One of my best friends passed away about 5 years ago. The night of her funeral, I believe she came to visit me to say goodbye. It was incredibly vivid. So much so I was actually really scared and had to get my partner to get up and check the flat. (Of course I am not saying she wanted to spook me, but so strong was the feeling it was just a bit too much for me.)

It is sad to think our loved ones are missing out but I don't think they are really, just not on this plane. And our recollections of memories are really important for our children to keep remembering.