How old were you when your Mum died?

[mistymirror]

Sorry to be so morbid. I am just interested to know how old people were when their Mum died and how they handled the situation?

@mistymirror oh you poor soul. You're my daughter's age so I really feel for you. She'd be devastated if anything happened to me(her dad died when she was18) my mum died aged 86 when I was 59....2 years ago. She was so fit and healthy before her final illness. I'm ok but do miss her but at least she had a good life. Look after yourself

21 - over 20 years ago. She was 56.

My friends Mum lost her Mum when she was 66 and her Mum was 91. That’s so lucky

Last year - 60/88. I was an "orphan" (a weird feeling at any age), and felt like the family had lost our anchor. She'd been very very unwell and paralysed for the last 5 years of her life but taught me to find the positive in any situation, stoicism and good humour. She had a great smile and laugh and I truly miss her.

She was 61 and I was 31. Her death was sudden and unexpected. We were very close and over 20 years later I’m changed for life.

I miss her everyday, but hardest of all is knowing what what my children have missed out not knowing her and a the fab granny she would have been.

45. She just made 70. She had lived with metastatic breast cancer for 7 years so I had a long time of knowing she would die.

She was a great mum and grandma and I miss her so much still. Wish she had been here to go on our extended family holiday this summer and to talk to my DD about A levels and uni (she was a teacher)

I was 34, Mum was 56. Sudden and unexpected. She wasn't the world's greatest Mum and had struggled with mental health and alcoholsm, but she was sweet and weird and I loved her. I was a lot more heartbroken than I expected to be. But it didn't have much of an impact on my day to day life as I didn't see her often.
DH's Mum died 6 months later age 67, so DCs don't have a grandmother any more which is really sad.

I was 57 and my mum was 85. She died in January this year. Dad is 87 and doing pretty well. I think I'm ok but tbh with doing stuff for my dad, clearing house, sorting finances etc I'm not sure I've had much time to actually grieve. Bug mum had a fairly awful last year and she was just ready to go. ❤️❤️ to all those going through this.

DH was late 30s, I was early 40s. I felt I was too young to lose her, but I know some people lose their mum much younger. My BFF lost her mum at 25, and her dad 3 months later (so still 25.) She had 2 young children too, (under 4) and was pregnant with her third. The deaths were untimely and unexpected and she was severely shocked by them both.

One plus for her is that she has 4 older siblings - 2 sisters (4 and 10 years older,) and 2 brothers (6 and 9 years older,) - and they all lived within 3 miles of one another at the time. She had 7 nieces and nephews too. (Has 11 now.) All still lived with their parents (her brothers and sisters,) so she had huge family support.

Still, even now 25 years on, she says it still sends a chill through her when she thinks about it, and wishes every day that her parents were still here. They were only in their mid 50s when they died.

14 months. Can't even begin to write how it's affected my life- now in my 70s.

36 and I was pregnant. I miss her dreadfully

Does losing your mum have a bigger impact than losing your dad?

why only mum? Is no one affected by losing their dad?

I was 38 and my mum 72 when she passed away last year after a relatively short illness with metastatic breast cancer. Her death shocked me on a primal level much more than I anticipated. I could only eat small bits of protein for a long time, really think my brain underwent structural changes. She lives on in my memory though, I love talking about her and my DH is a great help.

I'm 53 and thankfully my parents are both well and sprightly at 79 and 82: . My dad recently painted their stairway and mum cooks dinner from scratch every day. I can't even contemplate them not being here. I speak to them every day and see them every week, as does my sister and all the four grand children and one great grandchild, with another one on the way. My parents mean the absolute world to me and my adult kids. Mum was recently in hospital for 3 months and me and my sister had to teach dad to cook. He was fab. Mum is now well again, thank the universe.

Respectfully, you need to start your own thread about the effects of losing your dad.

This thread is about the effects of losing your mum. Please don't derail it, with whatabouttery.

For a while I thought I should feel something, I didn’t. She’d been so nasty and when I looked at my childhood she’d been very abusive. I learned to to work through what she’d done to me. My MIL undone all of the awful things that my own mother did, she was very understanding, patient, kind and loving. I was very ill after having one of my children and I remember her brushing my hair in those dark days when DH was dealing with the children, I’ll never forget so many things she taught me. When I came home she visited and only ever came if I asked for her help, she was never intrusive but was my rock along with my DH.

I don’t think of my birth mother often but I have very fond memories of my wonderful MIL. She was one in a million.

I was 37. She was 64. DS was 5w. Df had early stage dementia.

There was no acknowledgement that I had lost my mum. My closest friends were at work; I was on mat leave. Dad wouldn't let me tell their friends or invite them to the funeral.
I was very alone so I kept things normal for the children and just kept going. 10yrs later and I'm coming to terms with it - with a lot of therapy.

It was possibly easier because I knew she was terminally ill when I was 15, although nobody would acknowledge it. She was given a year to live when was 18. Somehow she just kept going.

I wish I hadn't written off our relationship when I was a teen. I wish we had been closer.
I wish my children had got to know her because she was a wonderful person, bight, funny, passionate and endlessly fascinated by people. She would have adored my children.

I’m not. I’m asking why o/p specified mum and not parent.

just interested in why only mum is referred to.

3 days after my 40th birthday last year. She was only 60. Taken from us way too soon. I have never felt pain like it. Her death was so sudden and unexpected. I push away thoughts about her as I can't cope. I was and am still absolutely devastated by her death. I was so close to her. I am so sad that my daughter won't really remember her and I have another one on the way who will never know her. I feel like I've lost my anchor and despite having lovely friends and family I feel so alone without her. 2 months later I also lost my beloved granny, she was 80 and hadn't been well for a while so whilst expected I thought we would have had her for a bit longer but I think her losing her daughter speeded up her death. I miss them both so much!

If you bothered to read both of OP 's posts, you'll see why she's specified mothers. For goodness' sake, think before you post

Mine died 29 years ago when she’d just turned 53 and I was 23. I nursed her through treatment for bowel cancer and then palliative care. It was the making of me and I’d do it all again tomorrow but fuck, I miss her as much today as I ever have. My dad died when I was 34 and my little brother a couple of years ago. I don’t have kids and am very recently single again, so feel I have no anchor. It’s so long since I was part of a nuclear family.

Lost my mum at 30. 5 months ago with a newborn baby and my sister 38 weeks pregnant. Found out she had cancer on 14th Dec, lost her on March 2nd. It’s shit and I hate it we were so so close, so much has changed . If I’m honest I just pretend she’s around just not in my presence. I believe I will see her again.

I was 39, she was 81.
Adrenaline got me through the first few weeks.
That was 31 years ago. I still miss her and think of her every day but not with sadness now.
I don't believe in an afterlife of any description but sometimes I pretend she can see me or I have an imaginary conversation with her on my head; there's so much to tell her.
It does get easier.

I was 16 and I'm afraid it really messed me up for a long, long time. I think it's taken about 20 years to undo the bad coping mechanisms I picked up at the time.

I think it's just a really tough time to lose a parent.

I was 53. She was 89 with dementia. It was the right time for her - I felt relieved.

42 and I was extremely happy.